CHENEY KICK-START: an idea whose time has come ……….
Tubularsock has never been a big fan of rendition but understands its legal necessity. Extraordinary rendition is beyond the pale of decency and outside the bounds of acceptable behavior if there is to be a belief in the rule of law.
Simple rendition in law is a term which means “handing over” of a person or property from one jurisdiction to another. This is all completed under due process and is handled through the courts with warrants and is an open and legal process.
But extraordinary rendition is a different kettle of fish.
Extraordinary rendition falls into the extrajudicial category. This is when a government sponsors an abduction of a person and transfers that person from one country to another. It is not legal and it is a violation of laws of the United States and international laws and agreements.
Bush and the boys and Condo made it popular but old Alzheimer-demented Reagan did it and “distinctly-marked-penes” Bill Clinton also engaged in the practice as well.
Obomber uses it too but with reduced frequency, so it is said, but none the less it is still being used.
And to Tubularsock’s new way of thinking …….. thank goodness!
Here is the plan:
Tubularsock will find a country that will support a WAR CRIMES TRIBUNAL that will prosecute DICK CHENEY for war crimes for torture.
Dick will be our test case ……….. a pilot program if you will.
Tubularsock will start a Kickstarter Campaign in order to raise the money needed to hire a team of underhanded-slimy-criminal-minded individuals to gag and put a black bag over Dick Cheney’s head and bind him with standard ACE hardware duct tape (to keep the cost down) and throw him in a trunk and slip him off to the country that has agreed to conduct the WAR CRIMES TRIBUNAL.
Tubularsock figures ……. say a $15 million Kickstarter Campaign. That will include the pre-operational expenses such as Tubularsock flying to Zurich to purchase a Gucci Bag to cover Dick’s head. Tubularsock believes in a class-act Extraordinary rendition so a regular plebeian bag for this dastardly deed will not cut it!
And for you penny-pinching followers may Tubularsock remind you of the financial savings that has already been exhibited by use of ACE hardware duct tape!
The pre-operational expenses also includes the WANTED FOR WAR CRIMES posters that will need to be printed. (as shown above) Hey, sure 100% post-consumer recycled paper is more expensive and so is using soy based ink. Do remember we are trying to improve the earth here not just bring war criminals to justice.
Another cost factor that has got to be addressed within the pre-operational expenses is the prepayment of the whores and booze necessary to ply the Secret Service. So as to be able grab Dick. (excuse the expression)
Dick Cheney is so well hated that he has additional Secret Service Protection as well as Private Contracted Security.
The Secret Service Detail can easily be distracted with a couple of bottles of booze and a hot prostitute which has been shown time and again.
The Private Contracted Security will have to be killed! Now don’t get squeamish now. Every Extraordinary rendition has collateral damage, so get over it!
Now some are going to say that by starting a Kickstarter Campaign to raise $15 million will attract the attention of the authorities.
Not so! You forget that the FBI is so busy setting up mental-disabled Muslims with fake explosives and guns so as to be captured as terrorists within the United States that they have no time to review every Kickstarter Campaign.
And the CIA is likewise so busy running guns and drugs that they’ll believe it is one of their own operations and before they wake up to the fact that it isn’t ….. we’ll have Dick in an undisclosed location.
Now just to relieve any trepidation on your part about being identified as “co-conspirators” you can also contribute to Tubularsock’s Extraordinary rendition project more directly.
Send $1000.00 in small unmarked bills to:
Secret Tubularsock Idea
#1 Underground Bunker
Oakland, CA xxxxxx
The zip code x’s provide extra security.
AND “THEY” SAY CHANGE CAN’T HAPPEN!
Tubularsock 
If anyone deserved to be water boarded it would be him for sure. After all, he does not see anything wrong with it. How many did he kill? I stopped counting at 100,000. And that was just the innocent women and children.
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Thanks for your comment Lou. I couldn’t agree with you more. There is going to be an issue with waterboarding soon …… the water shortage. Oh well, between the two of us we’ll come up with something!
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I’m good for $6.87 and that is USD. As for waterboarding the Dick, well, why waste water on the ‘boil of Wyoming’. Nipple clips and an old battery from a 1983 Mercury. Any model would work. Seeing as how the Dick never served US military, it is entirely plausible that a crack team of Navy Seals could be hired to perform the extraordinary rendition. I mean, they’re Navy Seals and they do work fairly cheap.
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Damn Don, Tubularsock loves the way you think! And $6.87 is a fair price for this entire program! With H2O becoming a precious commodity water boarding is a thing of the past and you are so “now!” Nipple clips ……. is that kinky or what! And a ’83 Mercury battery …. man, classic!
And on your timely advice Tubularsock has contacted the Navy Seals to do the deed and they are excited. They have had nothing much happening sense the fake bin Laden gig!
Thank you so much for your comment. It gives something for Tubularsock’s mind to do post, post!
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Heaar..Hear!! A capital idea! Let’s get rid of the biggest Dick in the US.
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Now you’re talken’ Mike! Thanks for the comment!
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Brilliant proposition. Do you accept barter?
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Hell ya! A couple New Zealand lamb chops would do the trick for Tubularsock.
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Tubularsock, Count me in! Hell, I’ll spring for Gorilla tape if it’ll help, though probably an extra layer of the regular will do the job. But no water boarding: it would be a criminal waste of good water — why not use fracking fluid for our favorite Halliburton poster boy? It’s perfectly safe, after all, our holy honest-as-the-day-is-long fossil fuel industry keeps telling us so. Thanks for another brilliant idea! – Linda
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Linda, FRACKING FLUID …. now we’re talking. What a fine ecological idea. And like you say, we know it’s safe. Pretty much as safe as Monsanto’s
Agent OrangeROUND-UP wouldn’t you say?Gorilla tape might be handy and cost effective because we could use less.
Thanks for these cost saving ideas and thanks for taking your time to help Tubularsock’s campaign get some traction.
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I have some paisley duct tape in my junk drawer … in keeping with the designer bag to cover his worthless head I would be thrilled, thrilled I tell ya, to add my paisley duct tape to the mix!!!!
Oh and, the very thought of extraordinarily renditioning dick the antichrist with fracking fluid gave me a little climax — you are certainly doing your part to keep an old crone young[ish]! 😀
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Well, ahh ……. whatever brings forth climax is worth it in Tubularsock’s book! Yes on the paisley duct tape! Tubularsock will be sitting by the bunker’s mail box!
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Do you suppose the government would frown on me using my social security for such a purpose? You know how much I care what the government thinks of me, don’t you?
I am going to send you some cash, but I’m earmarking it for beefing up security on the bunker;-) And I would also suggest some weapons and cyanide capsules, just in case.
I know the CIA and FBI are busy, as you point out, but there are always one or two assholes never doing their jobs, and I’m not sure you have taken this into account: for instance, and in particular, what if one of the secret service agents is gay and can handle his booze, or what if, like I have implied, you have a few CIA and FBI agents goofing off and watching Law and Order, and they get wind of this, while surfing for animal porn?
No, I think you also need to ask for money to beef up the bunker!
Lastly, I’m not sure a 2016 presidential candidate should be this open about not so covert operations, especially against a low-life asshole like DICK? This could really hurt your numbers, especially on the Cheney loving, tea-bagging right! I mean I’m out of work and need to write those speeches!
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sojourner you answered your own question ……. just what does the government have to say about YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY! As a true patriot you would be using YOUR money for SECURITY which the government is really excited about remember? HOME LAND SECURITY, remember? So the government would look upon you with great admiration.
Tubularsock will accept cash for beefed up security on the bunker for sure and increased weapon supplies are always welcome because Tubularsock is practicing PEACE. But no to cyanide capsules. That is too defeatist for Tubularsock. Tubularsock will win or bring it ALL down with him aka straddling the atomic bomb as it is being dropped in Dr. Stranglove!
sojourner you make some solid points about CIA and FBI agents goofing off. Now why didn’t Tubularsock think of that? We might have to beef up the animal porn for sure and we can hire a couple of “experienced”Catholic choir boys as well. Yeah, and spike the booze too.
And you are so correct about this getting out and putting pressure on the Tubularsock For President 2016 “The Time Is Now Motherfuckers!” Campaign.
Ok, write a couple speeches right now to head off any “bad feeling” from the tea bagging right. We do need to balance Tubularsock’s demographic.
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You’re right, my soon to be el presidente! The government would love me using my ss money to get rid of Dick! What was I thinking? This is why you pres and me notta!
“Ok, write a couple speeches right now to head off any “bad feeling” from the tea bagging right. We do need to balance Tubularsock’s demographic.”
I’ll get work on this pronto!
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Excellent! Tubularsock will leave the speech writing to a professional such as yourself but please attempt in these speeches to bring the tea bagging right into acceptance with the gay, atheist, immigrant, radical left. Something like we are all one big happy family. Now …. JUST DO IT!
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Ya vol, el presidente elect! No problem, I can bs with the worst of ’em!
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Tubularsock and Sojourner, Kick start, and kick ass, you stalwart campaigners! I can’t be objective on this one, but I’d expect a net gain if anything in all demographic sectors (with the possible exception of the seriously psychotic) re the presidential bid from a successful Chaney-ectomy. Surely even those maladjusted enough to agree with the man couldn’t honestly feel comfortable with him hanging around. Absolutely not!
And Sojourner, this could be the most productive use of government money since the GI Bill. What better way to defend the homeland! I feel safer already, just knowing you good folks have this patriotic project well in hand. Thanks!
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No question, with sojourner collecting support from the correct demographic from his speech writing abilities Tubularsock is well on his way to the Oval Office in 2016!
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That’s me, defender of the homeland. An overweight 65 year old in tights with a cape. We may be in trouble, even more so than we already are;-)
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I’m blushing! Or I have a low-grade fever!
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Brother, in politics it’s all image, image, image …….. a stars and stripped cape with matching tights ….. wow, that’s class!
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Reblogged this on News for the Revolution.
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Thanks for the reblog NFTR. Tubularsock appreciates it.
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We have to do everything we can to promote Tubularsock’s important mission!
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Thank you NFTR, read over the details and memorize the content. This message will self destruct in five seconds after your reading. Whether you accept your assignment or not, good luck.
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Once the global public gets word of this, I think it’ll take about 15 minutes to raise $15 million
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Now that is confidence in the idea! Tubularsock will need a couple of cardboard boxes to store the money is until the project can be implemented. Using your time line Tubularsock better fly to Zurich today!
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There are a number of big banks that are very adept at discreetly moving large quantities of cash to Switzerland. If they’ll do it for drug cartels, I’m sure they’ll do it for Tubularsock
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Thanks for the tip NFTR. Tubularsock will follow your lead on this and the use of small unmarked bills should speed the process. Tubularsock has already gone to the Federal Reserve Bank in San Francisco and reserved some money as well. Tubularsock told them that it was going to be used to bail out some Wall Street types. They rapidly filled both my wheelbarrows and off Tubularsock went to BART (rapid transit) and scurried back to the underground bunker in Oakland, CA.
Thanks for all your help.
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And thank you, Tubularsock!
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No tights and capes. I dumped that years ago!
How’s this for an example of a speech intro:
My fellow Mericans, as we enter in to a new and wondrous age, fixated on libations and rather obscene sensations (sorry, Steely Dan), a Tubular age, if you will, let us remember where we have been and how we got there, if we can, that is? And then let us look forward to the magnificent scene that has been in my view for years; in a bunker overlooking Washington DC from Oakland. Can you see it, my people? Can you see what I have seen and still see? Can you see the light, my people? Hallelujah, can you see the light?
This is just a brief, off the top of the head improv, but what do you think, El Presidente elect? Not specific enough, you say? Specifics in politics? Are you mad!
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Oh yeah ……. “A Tubular age . . .” Now we’re talking! Tubularsock is mad, that is not an issue. One has to be crazy to be a strong leader! And you are correct “no specifics”! Let’s go with “looking forward not back” and “changing the changeless political environment for the good of all” and
“climate change is changing”.
Nice work so far, check’s in the mail!
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As Jack Web once said, “Just the facts, mam, just the facts!” Of course facts will be what you decide are facts. After all, you be da man! Now that I know this is a good start, I am on the job!
Please, on the money thing, NO CHECKS. I want to have the same perks as any other member of a presidential menstruation. Ooops, I mean administration. No taxes!
My slip here, begs this question: should you lose, the gods forbid, and Hillary Lewinsky gets in, what will they do about PMS. Oooops, my bad again, she’s way past menopause! As Emily latella used to say, “Oh, well that’s different then. Never mind…. Bitch!”
I’m having flashbacks again!
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🙂
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Dear Tubularsock Sir, and again Sir, out of respect Sir,
I mean, we are intimate now because we exchanged a few comments. I need to know if you work for the ciadeafdamodfarcmaotsetungupypursrussiapleasesomeonestopme.
How would you like to get in my, ours, music blog? 6 have joined, you’d be the anointed SEVENTH.
Need your permission and one email.
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So let Tubularsock get this straight. You don’t think Mao and the Russians have a musical ear? Is that what you are inferring ?
Well Tubularsock is interested in getting to know what is entailed in this musical blog of your’s, ours.
Being the anointed SEVENTH means Tubularsock is at rest rather than at 4-4 time?
Anyway. I’ll send you an email so you can fill me in …… sounds interesting.
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I’m down. An idea whose time has come.
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Jeff, Tubularsock knew the idea would ring for you. Thanks for your support.
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Count me in! I’d consider it money well spent!
Frack the Dick! Duck the Dick! Plant the Dick! Chain the Dick! Lame the Dick! Beat the Dick! Just don’t eat the Dick! LMAO!
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We agree Shelby ……. Tubularsock likes your Dickstruction!
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LMAO!! Reading this has been a tonic for me! You guys are a riot! I fucking love it!
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Now Shelby calm yourself. A tonic? Sure it’s organic. Sure it comes in many forms … drink, inhale, snort. Sure you can buy it at Tubularsock’s Half Foods, Ltd. Just send a check or money order to TONIC-R-US.for $39.99 American.
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