OH JESUS!
Posted: April 20, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, Religiosity, TED CRUZTags: 2016 Presidential Election, Ted Cruz
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Tags: 2016 Presidential Election, Ted Cruz
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Tubularsock 
As you know, Tube, I was once afflicted by this particular brand of religion. But I still hold to much of what the biblical character, Jesus, had to say about life, and how we should respond to and treat each other.
Of course, the biblical Jesus was just repeating universal truths that had been stated thousands of years before him.
But in dealing with your post here, let’s just, for a minute, say that Jesus exists and is “coming back soon.” My guess is he would be lambasting these low-life assholes even more severely than he had the low-life religious leaders of his day.
I wouldn’t doubt that he would kick this particular asshole, Cruz, square in the nuts and tell him to shut the hell up! I would also guess that Jesus would tell him, “Do not include me in your corporate capitalist lies, or I’ll make hell look like a Hawaiian vacation, when I’m through with you!”
Anyway,
Pax talcum and Amen! No wait, talcum causes cervical cancer!
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Were Jesus to actually come back as suggested by the christers, the US government would consider His return to be a threat to national security and launch a full nuclear and military response.
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Great Point!
“Jesus is a threat to national security!”;-)
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No question about that ……. and he would be. He is against lying you know!
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Tubularsock is a fan of JC before the “church” distorted his advice. Yep, you’re right, he’d kick some butt if he showed up today but Tubularsock doesn’t expect that to really happen because it is clear that he ran off with Mary Magdalene and NOT that “biblical” Magdalene but the real one.
The REAL Magdalene was his ONLY disciple that REALLY understood what he was teaching.
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“The REAL Magdalene was his ONLY disciple that REALLY understood what he was teaching.”
Oh no you don’t, Tube! You ain’t getting me involved in no theological back and forth!;-)
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sojourner, Tubularsock is not attempting to get into ANY theological discussion. You may forget that Tubularsock IS GOD! End of discussion. But thanks for the comment and pass the hat for donations for TUBEGOD!
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He’s such a douchebag
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Welcome Eventide to Tubularsock and thank you for your dainty comment. Tubularsock has always wondered about your name Eventide. Now Tubularsock realizes that you are a salty-sailor!
Arr, matey, ye shivers me timbers!
Love your poetry ……..
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I’m sure he has a special place for him.
Leslie
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Leslie, there is no question about that …….. maybe Canada?
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Oh please Noooooooo.
Leslie
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I would like to see a list of all the people Jesus doesn’t like.
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Jay, let see …… ahh ………. let’s see, Cruz for one and then there were those money lenders that he kicked the shit out of in the temple and then …….. damn! Tubularsock has that list on his desk somewhere. It is a short list.
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Don’t be surprised if sojourner II pops up, Tube! Me have been a bad boy, sometimes! But every day, and in every way, I am getting better, methinks?
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Tubularsock has put in a good word to JC for you sojourner II. Hope that helps.
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Thus spake the Tube:
“Tubularsock IS GOD! End of discussion. But thanks for the comment and pass the hat for donations for TUBEGOD!”
Now Tube, I know it is hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in e-ver-y way, but I’ve warned you about this savior/god ploy before, haven’t I?
You saw what happened to the biblical Jesus, in the end, right?
It’s bad politics to go there, even though you do seem to be rather divine!
No gay inference intended, of course!;-)
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Damn! Tubularsock keeps forgetting. Tubularsock keeps getting blinded by that halo reflection when he looks in the mirror. Thanks for attempting to keep Tubularsock safe from those Romans.
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No problem, my savior, ooops, I mean president elect!
From here forward, just consider me the peon, riding along with you on that ancient Roman chariot, whispering in your conquering-hero ear, “All glory is fleeting! You are not a God!”
Nails and wood are not the way to go!
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Well sojourner you are most correct about nails and wood …. Tubularsock will “cross” his fingers and hope that times have changed. Well not in Sadi Arabia!
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Does Jesus talk to you, Tube? We have something for that.
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Thorazine, perhaps?
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Shit, sojourner that even sounds dangerous!
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Just kidding! Geesshh! These presidential candidates can be so touchy!;-)
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Well funny that you mentioned that. Tubularsock talks to George Bush who talks to Jesus and the reason is that that keeps Tubularsock one body away from being struck by lighting if Jesus is having an off day. But it is true that Tubularsock smokes his way to heaven often. Thanks DrB.
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Let’s see here…Jesus is the Son of God…Trump is the son of Satan…Cruz is a son of a bitch…there’s a lot of sons connected to this race this year…
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Well, just another good reason to go solar, Michael!
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Even I can get behind THIS GEEZUS!!
LOL! I like this one a lot!
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