Tubularsock

MONEY, MONEY EVERYWHERE

 

As many of you know, Tubularsock loves everyone and Tubularsock gets along with everyone. Tubularsock is a businessman and by being a businessman Tubularsock gets along with everyone! Even Mexican waiters!  AND SO DOES DONALD TRUMP or so he keeps repeating. And no one practices that old adage, “if you throw enough shit on the wall ….. some of it will stick”, better than Donald Trump!

And so when Tubularsock received an urgent email from Eric Trump letting Tubularsock know that his father would match ANY donation Tubularsock made toward his father’s campaign Tubularsock was so excited! And hey ….. no pressure but it has to be made by tomorrow by 11:59 PM so as to hit their goal before the FEC deadline. And to help this along Don HIMSELF is “. . . putting his money where his mouth is by writing a $1 MILLION MATCHING CHECK toward [their] $10 million end-of-month goal”.

And if that wasn’t enough Eric reminded Tubularsock that “I [Eric] run my foundation based upon the principles that my father taught me: honesty, integrity, values.” And what better set of values could there be for a father to pass on to his son? It just shows you that HONESTY PAYS.

So being an honest businessman Tubularsock gave Don a minus $10,000.00. That way Tubularsock figures that matching a minus = $10,000.00 paid to Tubularsock in matching funds. So now, Tubularsock receives the $10,000.00 which brings the minus $10,000.00, Tubularsock gave to Don,  back to ZERO and we are all equal.

So to collect Tubularsock went right to where that $10,000.00 should be able to be remove from Tubularsock’s account!

 

Wish Tubularsock luck!

And sure, Tubularsock will teach YOU the “NEW MATH”. Just send big stacks of unmarked Franklin’s in a brown paper bag to:

TUBULARSOCK NEW MATH PROGRAM
1300 GREENBACK LANE
NEW YORK, NEW YORK $$33$