TAKE IT ALL OFF?
Tubularsock was sitting around his Top-floor corner office in Tubularsock’s Underground Bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA (see BUNKER TOUR) pondering ….. What has made the French so stupid NOW?
No, Tubularsock isn’t going as far as “Freedom-Fries” like the brain dead Bush Administration Congress. French Fries are still tops on Tubularsock’s culinary menu. Well, EXCEPT for the ones served with the prix fixe McDonald’s menu on the Champ-Élysées ! Sometimes American Exceptionalism doesn’t translate!
Tubularsock has always loved his visits to France and found the French people delightful. Even years ago when so many felt that the French had a shitty attitude toward foreign tourists. Tubularsock, speaks no French except, “Ne touchez pas le chien, il mord !” ( Don’t touch the dog, he bites!)
And the only reason Tubularsock learned that phrase was, well Tubularsock’s Yorkie, Gizmo, would bite people if they tried to pet him …… and even with Tubularsock’s fluent-limited-French, four Frenchmen and two French women got themselves bitten by Gizmo.
The great thing was none of them blamed Gizmo or Tubularsock but apologized for not following the warning. And took full responsibility for their action. Unlike Americans who would have blamed the dog’s owner and attempted to sue.
So Tubularsock has been taken surprised by this French reaction to, of all things, the Burkini! What’s with that?
Manuel Valls, the French Prime Minister has stated that the New York Times has painted an “unacceptable” picture of France with a recent article about discrimination against Muslim women.
France previously banned the headscarf from all state schools in 2004 and former President Nicolas Sarkozy banned the niqab – or a full faced veil – from all public places in 2011.
And now, the Burkini!
The reason, “. . . the swimwear still poses a risk to public order.”
So, armed French police officers are shown in photos forcing women to remove their burkinis on beaches. And the humor of all that is not missed on Tubularsock because topless sunbathing on beaches is allowed just not clothed sunbathing! SO FRENCH!
Now all of these rules, according to Prime Minister Valls, have been created so that women don’t have to “. . . live under the yoke of a chauvinist order. The female body is neither pure nor impure; it is the female body. It does not need to be hidden to protect against some kind of temptation.”
But it’s the French government’s chauvinist order that is well, ahh, chauvinist as well!
And of course, it is all in the eye of the beholder. The 1905 French constitution guarantees the freedom of religion and freedom to exercise it. However the original text MADE NO REFERENCE TO CLOTHING.
And if Tubularsock recalls, neither does the U.S. Constitution.
Tubularsock wonders if the wearing a kippah (skullcap) is outlawed in public in France. Does anyone know? Should be, Tubularsock assumes, because of the “. . . posed risk to public order”.
Traditionally, Jewish men and boys wear the kippah at all times, a symbol of their awareness of, and submission to, a “higher” entity.
Another chauvinist position handed down from on high!
But in truth, this is all too funny to Tubularsock. Somehow having women more nude rather than less just seems to be at the heart of the matter chauvinist but maybe it’s just Tubularsock.
Tubularsock has always hated “dress codes”! Public Order be damned!
Tubularsock 
Perhaps it’s the French genes that I carry, but my impulse is to wholeheartedly agree that the beach is no place for a stitch of clothing on women. On men, yes, because it is enough for them to expose the skin of their noses and that between the wrist and the back of the hand all the way to the first knuckles for their bodies to synthesizes vitamin D, which everyone knows is crucial to brain development and functioning:
“Scientists have found evidence to suggest an important role for vitamin D in brain development and function, and that supplementation for groups chronically low in vitamin D is warranted. Vitamin D is present in only a few foods (e.g., fatty fish), and is also added to fortified milk, but our supply typically comes mostly from exposure to ultraviolet rays in sunlight. In men, exposing the skin of the nose and the back of the hand (not the palm) is all of the exposure needed, laboratory experiments with rats have conclusively shown. However, experiments with helianthus substituting for women have concluded conclusively that unless the helianthus is completely exposed to the sun, bad things happen. Indeed, the organism withers and dies. On the basis of this evidence, scientists are forced to conclusion that the less women wear in the sun, the better will they photosynthesize, and the better they photosynthesize, the more vitamin D will their brains receive, and thereby develop and function.”
Disclaimer: the study does not mention whether the scientists who conducted these experiments and studies were French and thus doubly blind.
Now I’m no scientist, but what good luck that both science and my scientifically untutored Norman intuition coincide, at least as to what ought to be happening on the beach.
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Tubularsock is always impressed with SCIENCE!
SCIENCE knows pretty much everything.
It is a FACT from extremely intense observation on Tubularsock’s part that men lack Vitamin D. There is absolutely no doubt even from two blind scientists doing a double blind experiment!
The collective “brain power” of three men in an elevator when one gets off at the third floor and the second one gets off at the fifth floor leaving a single male on the elevator with not enough Vitamin D to fill a double A battery.
Tubularsock knows Norman that you too see the whole picture.
The same experiment above was done with three “fatty fish” but the results were compromised due to the fact that the elevator short circuited due to being placed underwater. The “fatty fish” were well done and when fed to the three men on the original elevator their Vitamin D level increased to such a degree that by the fifth floor BOTH men exited.
Proving only that ……. who needs double A batteries anyway.
Now getting down to the heat of the matter. Nude women on a beach are far more “scientific” to observe than nude men regardless of the Vitamin D intake. Most women seem to be more interested in other women on the beach than viewing nude men. Which only goes to prove that a double A battery is not much good for anything.
Isn’t SCIENCE fun?
And thanks for your comment. Tubularsock has entered it into the Tubularsock Chronicles of Scientific Knowledge and Wishful Thinking and placed it into a Time Capsule so those in the future will be able to be in awe of our Scientific Prowess.
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“SCIENCE knows pretty much everything.”
So, science is god? I always wondered!
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NO! Tubularsock is GOD! sojourner you forget so easily. We have gone over this before!
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Vitamin D? I take vitamin D and look horrible in a bikini!
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Tubularsock will take your word for it, thanks.
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I thought you might. The entire thing gave me nightmares last night!
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Surely it is important that when visiting France, the Tubular One does not conceal his weapon whilst leisuring on the beach – would you not agree?
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Hariod, Tubularsock believes when it comes to the beach letting it all hang out is questionable. Tubularsock conceals his “weapon” because Tubularsock’s mother always said, “It is better to be safe, than sorry”.
And as Winston Churchill said, “. . . we shall fight on the beaches . . . we shall never surrender.” Which as you can see, Tubularsock’s mother agreed!
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French or American, “constitutions” are as worthless as the parchment they were written on, because they are not written by the people, they are written by the psychos in charge.
Yes, I agree, I was in France thirty-five years ago. And the French were warm and welcoming, a patient, beautiful, loving people. My guess is, it was the filthy rich American pigs who started the tales about the French hating Americans. And who, in their right mind, could blame the French for hating the American, elite pig? I hate these inbred bastards, and I’m ‘merican!
Isn’t it always maddening, when the criminals in charge, while rescinding our worthless political rights, claim to be securing our freedoms and protecting us?
Fuck ’em all! The long, the short and the tall! “Burn it down, down to the ground.” “The whole world’s watching.”
“Hey, Jude…”
“There once was a man from Nantucket….”
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sojourner, obviously you haven’t priced out parchment recently. Yes the words are worthless but the paper is a good investment!
The advantage of the psychos “rescinding our worthless political rights (and) claim(ing) to be securing our freedoms” is the dead giveaway that they are screwing the people.
What bothers Tubularsock most is the majority of the people allow it to happen!
“Burn Baby Burn!”
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“disco inferno”
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A very touchy subject to some. I love reading about it. Do Bikinis count or does it all come off?
Leslie
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One of the problems is too touchy when it all comes off ….. Tubularsock assumes.
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That can result from taking it all off.
Leslie
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Neither Britain nor New Zealand have a written constitution. New Zealand has a Bill of Rights, but it seems to be optional. The government only follows it when they feel like it.
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“The government only follows it when they feel like it.”
Just like this government and the US constitution!
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That is why we colonists rebelled from that silly king. Somehow we have forgotten how we got to this point!
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Or so the tale goes! I wonder what really went down?
My guess is, the “f fathers” (f stands for fuck ’em!) were all Rothschild operatives, a pack of inbred psychos, just like good old King George III and crew!
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sojourner, you may be correct on this ……. “our” history has been a bit doctored along the way and what we have been taught as true IS NOT! Welcome to “the plan”.
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Tubularsock, I’ve been mildly fascinated and mystified since my teens by how intense and, well, screwed up beyond my sketchy capacity for understanding, folks wil get concerning other people’s hair and clothing choices. Can anyone explain that to me? I had family members who refused to speak to some of my cousins, for years, simply because their hair was too long. (Now they’d all just be happy to HAVE hair of any length, but that’s another story.) My 89-year-old mother spends her limited energy fussing with her hair, and making sure her shirts don’t show under her jacket, her pants match her shirt, and on and on. I must have missed that fashion-nazi gene or something. Again, I hope you and your knowledgeable readers can please explain this shit!
One more thing, isn’t it bad for our skin to expose it to so much sun anyway? No one seems to mention that in this whole controversy. Thanks for keeping us up to date! – Linda
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Linda wrote:
1)
“I had family members who refused to speak to some of my cousins, for years, simply because their hair was too long. (Now they’d all just be happy to HAVE hair of any length, but that’s another story.)”
I hear that. When I finally let my “freak flag fly” (1967-68), my family, friends and their families basically disowned me, not that I was that popular before! Yep, they all went ape shit because my then golden locks hung down over my Dumbo ears. Meanwhile, their government was committing genocide in Southeast Asia. “Same as it ever was!”
2)
“One more thing, isn’t it bad for our skin to expose it to so much sun anyway? No one seems to mention that in this whole controversy.”
Depends on what “scientist” you ask, and what he or she is selling for their corporate owners and operators. I pay little attention to the “experts” anymore (of any kind), since, like most men with women, all they have ever done is lie to me! Bitches!
If I were this planet, I would take a laxative and shit us all out into space!
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sojourner, it is good to see that your loving family were “Same as it ever was!” as well.
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Linda, Tubularsock HAS NEVER figured out “family”! Except to run as fast as one can in the other direction! It is really scary that somehow one is connected in some way to these idiots!
Tubularsock doesn’t look back. My suggestion is not to understand but RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
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My days of running are over, and have been for almost two decades. The family is all gone!
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I’m sure being an orphan has its downside, but … it doesn’t sound bad these days.
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