SOCIAL DISTANCING
You know, Tubularsock has been through a lot in his existence, to date, on this fucking globe we call earth that reminds you that gravity rules every fucking time you fall on your ass, if you’re lucky, or your face if you’re not.
Tubularsock grew up in a small town where most of the town was a relative of Tubularsock’s or a close friend of a relative of Tubularsock’s.
So hugging and kissing was what they all seemed to do as a greeting and the blind ones would run they hands over Tubularsock’s face in able to “see”!
Or that is the explanation that was given!
As luck would have it for Tubularsock the time came to leave the town and move to San Francisco ……………… Saints be praised!
BUT, Oh Shit!
It was the ’60’s where hugging and kissing fucking complete strangers was the acceptable greeting! WTF?
None the less, Tubularsock survived and this too passed. Saints be praised!
All went well until 2012 when Tubularsock got involved, by no fault of his own, in the fringe theater world and DAMN, hugging and kissing AGAIN! Often with total strangers!
What the hell? Who would have known?
But then, count your blessings ……….. the Hallelujah Moment!
THE CORONAVIRUS!
Now, six foot spacing between people ……….. Tubularsock can finally relax.
Saints be praised!
Tubularsock 
No more hugging and kissing for you!
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BUT ……… TH!
Tubularsock is wearing a mask.
Come on, pucker up!
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😷😘😆
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Well now you’re sounding like ol’ groper joe! 🤗
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Saints be praised, indeed! Your regular wonderful wit much appreciated!
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Decker, while we are careening toward destruction, we may as well enjoy the ride!
Thanks for your words of appreciation.
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And thank you, Tube! Cheers!
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Tube:
As far as Trump is concerned, we who live in California have the ideal distance from him–3000 miles!!
And, of course, a poem for this occasion, but not one of humor:
–All over the world people are dying..
–And Trump, in the White House…
–Is, as usual, lying…
–He gives a daily press conference…
–With little knowledge or vim and verve…
–Which just shows he’s always behind the curve…
–There’s little sunshine to take from this mess..
–In these awful days of fear and distress…
–But we can truly honor and revere the dedication
–Of health care workers who are serving our nation…
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Nicely done, Batt.
We as a nation MIGHT even get safety equipment to them in time for the next pandemic!
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Aunty Em! Aunty Em! It’s a covid-19 twister. get away from me, by at least six feet!
This flu knows it can’t spread more than six feet! What a smart flu, like tvs and phones, right, Tube?!
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Well sojourner, you have forgotten that this “flu” is from ChiNAA. So of course it is smart!
You ain’t in Kansas no mo’, sojourner!
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I understand some people only get mild symptoms Tube. Probably because they contracted everything that went around and developed a healthy immune system. All that hugging and kissing was not for naught. You were building immunity. I’m going with that.
Leslie
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My immunity building boasts 10 extra floors on the Trump tower, counting his imaginary ones… Lots of hugging and kissing gets you there – I even hugged my boss at a meeting once, which left the rest of the people gasping, wondering what would come of that! Well, it was another of those times when you do the unexpected because it was desperately called for and because it was not done behind closed doors, it was cheered.
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Hmmm Sha’Tara, let Tubularsock have a moment to get his mind out of the gutter and think only noble and positive thoughts.
However, whenever Tubularsock flaunted his wares in public it was misinterpreted ….. or not!
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Were you not engaging proper social decorum at the time? Tsk…tsk…
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Oh, and I did say “hugging” not, you know… oh never mind!
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OH MY!
The public has decorum?
First Tubularsock has heard of THAT!
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Wow, “oh never mind”?
Often “oh never mind” = promotion.
But always “oh never mind” = trouble!
Which you already know without Tubularsock’s fatherly advice!
Just which floor were you on?
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Probably the “high” one… can’t rightly remember.
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In time the smoke clears, Sha’Tara. Be patience.
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Doing the unexpected … I’m a postmenopausal Gemini witch — I ALWAYS do the unexpected! 🤗😎😝
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Leslie, Tubularsock hopes you are correct because Tubularsock certainly paid his dues!
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😉
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Ah, small town America – where the definition of virgin is an ugly 12 year old girl who can run faster than her father.
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Wow, that is a new one on me. It’s gone into my “quotable quotes” collection.
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DrB. That is a brilliant encapsulation of small town America. Made Tubularsock laugh aloud.
Tubularsock has a feeling that you may be headed for the stand up comic life style!
Need a manager?
Tubularsock’s small town experience was a bit different than the one you described, DrB.
Tubularsock’s mother and father (due to the respectful nature of our family name) made it clear around the time Tubularsock turned 12 years old that “IF YOU EVER GET SOME GIRL KNOCKED-UP, YOU’LL HAVE TO MARRY HER AND LIVE IN TOWN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!”
Best contraceptive EVER invented!
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Triple “Like!” on that comment, Tube. Your parents were wise beyond their ears…
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SO TRUE!
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Back in a past life growing up in Torrington, Wyoming the saying was “Wyoming — where men are men, and sheep are scared.”
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wolfess, Tubularsock seems to have unleashed Mother Lore. I love this Wyoming saying. Ba- Baa!
Tubularsock may have to stop eating lamb chops now! Too oral!
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Smart move, running for the hills. The SF hills. Even if hippies WERE just bored suburban kids.
When I was growing up and started dating my mother always said, “Why would they buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?”
I always thought, okay, yeah, true, but wouldn’t that weed out the assholes you didn’t want to be stuck with forever anyway? And how else would you find out except by offering your sweet, pasture-fed milk to prospective buyers? Right? Right! There’s nothing to fear but fear itself!
Thank you, Roosevelt!
Thank you, coronavirus!
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My mother said the same thing! Methinks you might be my sister from another mister!
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wolfess, FINELY, Tubularsock has brought you two together! Damn! Tubularsock will accept a cigar for this unexpected birth reunion!
Just wrap that cigar in three Franklin bills and send it to:
Tubularsock Sibling Reunion, Ltd.
1300 Birthchannel Rd.
Oakland, CA 9001234573921
Oh, and sure you can say thank you TOO!
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Ah Tube, you have no idea how long I have wanted a sister — I owe you a serious debt of gratitude for bringing us together! With that in mind, not only will I wrap those 3 benjamins around the cigar, but l will also tip you an extra ulysses AND include a bottle of Wild Turkey (that was my father’s bourbon-of-choice … is it possible you are my brother from another mother???).
Stay safe during the current scamdemic … 😷
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Moooooo. Sounds like you didn’t listen to your mother. Tubularsock does like your logic. Testing a product to see how it stands up seems rather important!
But Tubularsock does love your mother’s wise direction.
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Well, just that fear comes in many different packages. The coronavirus is one, not turning into a wanton ho is another. I guess it just depends on how one handles fear; A middle ground somewhere between fear and calm might be good……..
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You have no argument from Tubularsock on that.
Stay safe.
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Did you create this jpeg, Tube?;-)
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Way to find a bright side to social distancing! That’s the sort of positive thinking we need now more than ever.
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So true Sean but wash your hands too!
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No but Tubularsock sure likes it!
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Ah, please, King Donald, please…call it business as usuaand hold Trump Rallies, so progressives and ds can attend, and when chanting is called, the kamikaze progs and ds can sneeze on them. No Trumpist would, of course sicken or die since CV is just a hoax.
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Is that second hand news getting washed for 20 seconds? Is the second hand news six feet apart from the first hand news?
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Cleanliness is next to godliness, RCS!
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