TUBULARSOCK POLITICAL TREATISE: ROAD TO THE PRESIDENCY 2016

CAMPAIGN UPDATE 2016: STARTING IN THE MIDDLE

Well as everyone that is important knows, Tubularsock has been running for President of the United States in this election year 2016.

The Convention for the WashedOut Party of 2016 (WOP-2016) has just wrapped up its festive star-studded-extravaganza with Tubularsock’s Futuristic Acceptance Speech. It took nearly two weeks for the applause to calm down before the custodian was able to break down the folding chair and load it on the fleet of semi-16 wheelers and return it to the Folding-Chair-Rental and Sake Bar.

As for the speech Tubularsock delivered, entitled “The Future’s Future Not The Past’s Past” broke new political ground never before seen or heard in modern history.

At his parting news conference the press was eager to press the candidate for more details about his foreign-policy-break-through approach as well as his totally upturning the “apple cart” domestic policy expansive ideas.

NOTE: This news article is brought to you by the “TUBULARSOCK, ‘. . . first hand coverage, second hand news’” news team. All opinions are from the entire staff of the Tubularsock News and is NOT partisan in the least toward the greatest Presidential Candidate in the Universe …… barring none!

That being said, we, the “TUBULARSOCK, ‘. . . first hand coverage, second hand news’” news team, would like to thank the entire staff of Tubularsock for President 2016 for allowing this back scene glimpse of how a “regular guy” becomes President of the United States and LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. Which is rather ironic when compared to how much it costs to get the job!
Sadly to say, for the reader, this is only PART ONE of a seven hundred and fifty three part series entitled, Tubularsock Political Treatise or as it is often referred to The TPT which should not be confused with the TPP Trade Travesty or truthfully known as TPPTT.

Let’s talk finance $$$ …….. just how does one obtain the money to run for an office?
Fair Question!

Tubularsock started, as all politicians start, with Political Action Committees or PACs.

Once a multitude of PACs were created ……… Tubularsock was well on his way to become a political force to contend with in this election.

Early in the election cycle Tubularsock was attacked by his opponents for being heavily supported by Chinese influence. With many PACs having an oriental flare.

Re-tooling his PACs, known as a course correction, a move to emphasize a “Made In America” focus was implemented and by doing this minor shift Tubularsock was able to focus fully on his Campaign and dispel these unfair attacks.

Tubularsock proceeded to focus fully on the CAMPAIGN but at times felt “BOXED IN”.

Once Tubularsock was fully and heavily engaged in his ~~CHAMPAGNE~~ CAMPAIGN his opponents again attacked his approach as being “too dominated by a French-Flare“.

As everyone knows, a candidate is attacked by his opponents at every turn and many times a candidate has to turn to a “higher-power” for comfort and introspection. Tubularsock makes a habit of turning-on as a “religious-experience” and becoming one with a universal force. (sure you can joint him)

Now the question is ALWAYS asked, “Can you trust that YOUR candidate is telling THE TRUTH rather than just saying what you want to hear?”

Fair Question:

Well let us look at the current candidates and evaluate them on say, ahhh their honesty.

We all know that Hillary Clinton switches her positions faster than a wild hare dodging the pursuit of hunting hounds.

And Donald Trump doesn’t have to lie because what he stands for is just plain sick and demented.

Jill Stein speaks the truth to power but she isn’t heard because she hasn’t got any PACs and little money.

Gary Johnson is higher in the polls than Jill but his message of Privatizing National Parks is enough to want to put him in a cage with wild bears.

So there are Democrats and Republicans as the Controlling Parties.

And then there are the THIRD PARTIES which include The Green Party (Jill’s) and The Libertarian Party (Gary’s). Which rate in the poles at 4% and 12% respectively. But poles shift with the wind.

Other THIRD PARTY candidates range from Bippy The Clown and Sir Cookie Zealot from California to Sydneys Voluptous Buttocks and Dr. Jekyll from New York. And one couldn’t forget to mention Independent Left Shark running from Texas. (No, these are ALL REAL and registered candidates.)

But what about the 33rd Party ….. The WOP? The WashedOut Party really is the only alternative party of total-truth. And yes Tubularsock is their candidate!