Archive for December, 2015

SIZE MATTERS

Posted: December 30, 2015 in Advertising, America Asleep, AUSTERITY
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You know the thing about austerity is it always is a great goal for the other guy.

Tubularsock doesn’t know if anyone has noticed yet but have you stopped and added up how much all the candidates for president are spending so far and there is still  a year of spending left to do.

All for a $400,000.00 a year job?

In fact what should be said to each candidate is …….. “Go out and GET a real job, deadbeat!”

But no, we as a culture have hyped the circus up and the hilarious thing is that the “public” still think they are part of it. Shitttttttt!

Now even the dumbest citizen out there in never-never-land called AmeriKKKa can not believe that any of the candidates (except for Tubularsock) are running for a measly 400K job so as to help their “fellow-citizens”.

No, when you have some startup computer programmers starting at $90 to $150 thousand and more …….. $400K? Chump change!

So gosh, why would any of them want that low paying job?

Well, sure Tubularsock has figured out the answer:

It is the 1% practicing AUSTERITY!

Hey, it’s literally the least they can do!

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BLACKHOLE FOREIGN POLICY

Posted: December 27, 2015 in Uncategorized

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Tubularsock is going to have to pull out some information from Tubularsock’s almost, pretty close best seller, SPOOKY GEOMETRY  so as to explain American Foreign Policy.

Tubularsock knows that many are frightened of SCIENCE because as a student you may have had been forced to dissect a dead frog. Well, this is not “dead-frog-science”!

No this is WHAT-THE-FUCK science and once you understand this nothing will be too great for your new formed intellect.

Let Tubularsock began from the simple to the complex.

The United States is practicing BLACK HOLE foreign policy. This is obvious to the casual bystander but often is cloaked in a huge pile of bull shit, that American Presidents have preached over the years, saying that it doesn’t stink.

But YOU know it does. And Tubularsock will show you why ……….

A Black Hole is a geometrically defined region of spacetime exhibiting such strong gravitational effects that nothing — including Iraq, Syria, Libya, and Yemen — can escape from inside it.

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The boundary of the region from which no escape is possible is called the event horizon.  Although crossing the event horizon has enormous effect on the fate of the object crossing it, it appears to have no locally detectable features.   

So this Middle Eastern event horizon effect has destabilized these entire areas but you wouldn’t know it if you only watched TV news and read your local newspaper. No those are always filled up with crap with an American Government Propagandistic overlay so, “it appears to have no locally detectable features”  even though those areas we have bombed the hell out of and created havoc.

That is why to the American public this “Refugee Crisis” APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE. And when 9/11 APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE the American public were told it was “because they (the terrorists) didn’t like our freedom”!

All of these events APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE leaving the American public at a loss why these disasters have taken place without a clue that WE caused them!

After a black hole has formed, it can continue to grow by absorbing mass from its surroundings. U.S., England, Germany, France, Russia, China ……….

To a distant observer, clocks near a black hole appear to tick more slowly than those further away from the black hole. This is due to gravitational time dilation which makes an object that is falling into a black hole appear to slow down. Which is why YOU feel that this entire War on Terror seems to just go on and on and on. This is the sign that we have started to fall into the black hole.

Those who are falling into a black hole do not notice and their own clocks appear to them to tick normally, they cross the event horizon after a finite time without noting any singular behavior.

So Tubularsock doesn’t want you to worry about ANYTHING!

Relax …….. it just doesn’t matter.

Climate Change

Nuclear Holocaust

Population Explosion 

GMO

Feel better. Well here is the formula you can use to figure out when we cross over the edge.

Black holes are commonly classified according to their mass, independent of angular momentum or electric charge.

So

Formula

But whatever you do, pay your library fines before New Years day, you’ll feel better!

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ARE THEY DONE YET?

Posted: December 25, 2015 in CHRISTMAS
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HO! HO! HO! JOLLY TUBE

Posted: December 22, 2015 in CHRISTMAS, Climate
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2050

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This is the time of year that Tubularsock hides in his top floor corner office in the underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA.

Not from fear but from dread ……..

Tubularsock always puts on his stealth attire when he has to leave the bunker and you wouldn’t recognize Tubularsock on the street because the S.F. Bay Area that Oakland is a part has so many diverse hair styles Tubularsock isn’t all that noticeable. No, really.

But just in case Tubularsock always wears a ski hat with blinking green lights with its top cut open and people don’t even look up as Tubularsock passes on his two-wheeled bike. It’s rather a live-and-let-live community in general.

And hell with the homeless black dude that rides his bike pulling two bike trailers with a boom-box and two huge 12” woofer speakers blaring and adding that to all his belongings with everything painted GOLD to match his gold painted top hat, suit coat, pants and high top tennis shoes ……..

Well shit, Tubularsock even begins to look normal!

Tubularsock seldom goes into retail stores. Just have no interest and most of the stuff is priced so high that Tubularsock figures the “liberal-press” has buried the true story that the Chinese slave laborers in the sweat-factories have been given a huge wage increase! Fucking workers!

At least here in America when we asked the Black Africans to leave their homes and come to America we put them to work 24/7. They were good workers too. In fact, so good that the powers to be set up a system that still exist today. And keeps those Black Workers behind bars working in order to keep them from having to associate with all those welfare cheats!

Seriously! If you recall, those Native Americans would run off when our early Christian farmers used to attempt to “train” those savages to work. And none of them spoke American! Go figure.

But that was then and we are here now and things have improved.

And today in America we even love Mexicans! No seriously!

Right after Donald Trump proclaimed to build a wall to keep those raping Mexicans out he in his next breath proclaimed that he had a great relationship with Mexican waiters. They were his homey-amigos.

And just like Americans, no one even noticed any incongruity. That’s because we are ALL, EXCEPTIONAL!

Now, just watching truck after truck after truck of dead pine trees being brought into this city to be decorated and lighted up for a week or two and then tossed to the curbside to be taken away by trucks and trucks and trucks just brings merriment to Tubularsock’s soul.

And just like Americans, no one even notices any incongruity. That’s because we are ALL, EXCEPTIONAL!

But one can not miss the parade of stressed out smiling people marching in and out like zombies to every sales event in order to PROVIDE HAPPINESS which isn’t paid off until  May, 2016 if you’re lucky. Which then keeps them all sitting in cubicles day in and day out for years and they call it their life’s work.

And just like Americans, no one even notices any incongruity. That’s because we are ALL, EXCEPTIONAL!

But what if ………………………..

This year ………………………….

LIBERATION.

stop!

Wow, now how easy was that?

If you haven’t figured this out yet ………..

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And believe Tubularsock on this ……. you don’t have to do this.

You never did. It has alway been an illusion and you are the ONLY one who can wake up because it is YOUR dream.

And Tubularsock knows your conditioned response …… “but I, I just couldn’t”.

But you can …….. you create your own reality and you even already know this, so listen from within.

“I’M SORRY, YOUR TIME IS UP ….. THIS IS A RECORDING. YOUR PARKING TICKET MAY BE VALIDATED UPON YOUR EXIT…….. HAVE A NICE DAY” beep.  your move

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You know Tubularsock is sitting in his top floor corner office minding his own business and thinking ………….. OH SHIT!

Obummer’s speech ……… pissing in the wind!

Solutions that are totally in fantasy land …… Really, like no kidding.

The San Bernardino attack …….. not a thing that Obummer recommended even comes close to stopping this kind of animosity!

No! Write San Bernardino off to COLLATERAL DAMAGE …… PURE AND SIMPLE!

You want to stop ISIS?

No bombing anybody ………….. not necessary!

The United States Government IMMEDIATELY places economic sanctions on Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar and Israel!

The funding comes from these areas. The Banks of the United States FREEZE all funds from ANYONE from those countries ………… PERIOD!

ISIS would be defeated without a shot.

You know, Tubularsock always says: “The simplest solution is ALWAYS the easiest.”

So why doesn’t Obommer do this ……….

WELL ASK THE FUCKER!

https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

HELL YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS ……… ASK EVERYDAY UNTIL JANUARY 1ST!

You know Tubularsock doesn’t know all of this trending shit but some of you do ………..  Social Media is powerful so those of you that know how to use it ………….

PLEASE DO!

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PRECISION

Now Tubularsock is going to give you a lesson in angles taken directly from Tubularsock’s almost best selling book Spooky Geometry  on sale at the Tubularsock Emporium of Science and Black Holes, Ltd.

It is pretty simple and it goes like this: What is the meaning of precision?

Answer: “the quality, condition, or fact of being exact and accurate”.

Can’t get any simpler than giving you the answer, right?

Now let us consider Precision Strikes, Precision Bombing, and Pin-Point-Precision as in military exploits.

What comes to the PUBLIC’S mind? Yep, “the quality, condition, or fact of being exact and accurate”.

One kind of feels at least a little bit smart for getting the correct answer. Right?

BUT NOW, consider the ANGLE!

According to the United States Joint Chiefs of Staff PRECISION has NOTHING to do with hitting the target directly and minimizing “collateral damage” (the sanitized term for innocent dead people). And this is where the ANGLE comes in …… while YOU are thinking …….. “the quality, condition, or fact of being exact and accurate”……. the Joint Chiefs are thinking:

“the ability of joint forces to locate, survey, discern, and track objectives or targets; select, organize, and use the correct systems; generate desired effects; assess results; and re-engage with decisive speed and overwhelming operational tempo as required, throughout the full range of military operations.”

In short, to them a PRECISION STRIKE does not imply accuracy but rather a discriminate targeting process.

You think accurate ……….. they think the planning process. Get the angle?

Congress, the President, the Maimed Stream Media infer accuracy and the public assumes accuracy. BUT THE ANGLE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ACCURACY AT ALL!

The precision to the military has only to do with PLANNING THE ATTACK. It is the process of getting all their resources on the same page but once the target is selected by the PRECISION PROCESS they may even miss the fucking target completely and hit the wedding party but it is still considered a “PRECISION STRIKE” because they planned it.

That’s the ANGLE.

But here is the best part ……..

The Hellfire Missile is one of those lethal missiles that the U.S. uses on its drones.

Are they accurate as defined by the dictionary rather than the military? Well lets see.

“Weapons accuracy is generally measured using the term ‘Circular Error Probability’ or CEP. In tests, a number of weapons are launched at a target and then an imaginary circle is drawn around the 50% of strikes closest to the aim point. The radius of that circle becomes the CEP (or accuracy) of that weapon. Rather unbelievably, the 50% of the strikes that fall outside this circle are simply ignored (I have yet to find an explanation for this). Importantly then, official statements about the accuracy of particular weapons are not based on any empirical surveys of actual use in warfare, but instead based on manufacturers’ claims about performance under test conditions.”   ……. Chris Cole (Drone Wars UK)

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Now if you take the ANGLE of the Joint Chiefs and the ANGLE of the Manufacturer’s accuracy in testing subtracting 50% of the total due to missing the assigned test target all together and you add in the cost of a Hellfire Missile at $110,000.00 per unit but only 50% of them even get near the target meaning that the cost of hitting the target becomes more than $220,000.00 per unit. The number of what percentage of the remaining 50% get close to hitting their target is unknown . So what does all this equal to in the grand formula?

Does Tubularsock really have to answer that question for you?

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