Tubularsock

Wow, is life stranger than fiction or does life just imitate fiction?

Here’s the rundown:

Four star general David Petraeus has a glowing biography written about him and his military “genius”. Sweet.

He’s banging his biographer. Nice.

Now is the biography a testimony to his “general-ness” or his fucking?

 And after reading it do military types masturbate to it?

Questions, questions, questions.

Tubularsock is sure that ALL generals aren’t good in bed. And all generals aren’t very good at being generals. So here is the dilemma.

Can you trust this biographer?

And what does “ALL IN” mean exactly.

Now ……….. Congress wants to know.

Isn’t it just like Congress. They are as bad as the Supreme Court. Anything to do with sex and they are both all over it.

Do you think Justice Clarence Thomas is still whacking his pud over Long-Dong-Silver?

(Just a disgusting thought that comes to Tubularsock whenever he thinks of Thomas.)

Well, let Tubularsock set the record straight for you.

So far, MRS. Paula Broadwell (the biographer) threatened via email MRS. Jill Kelley (“a close friend of Petraeus”) because according to The Washington Post Paula perceived the “other woman as a threat to her relationship with Petraeus”. With threats like, “back off” and “stay away from my guy” Kelley passed her concern off to her friend, Frederick W. Humphries, from the FBI. The friend that just a few months before sent MRS. Jill an email photo of himself with his shirt off, bare-chested. No threat there.

Is that interesting or what. Especially because the Biography’s full title is All In: The Education of General Petraeus.

Now do you think that David is learning something here?

This is beyond classic for Christ sake!

But wait, there’s more Mrs. Paula Broadwell is a national security analyst and a military intelligence veteran and “. . . her previous post was deputy director of the Jebsen Center for Counter-Terrorism Studies at Tufts University’s Fletcher School.”*

The Jebsen Center is tied into the Hudson Institute, a neocon heaven. The Hudson Institute “ . . .  operates inside Israel, where it pushes the far-rightist views of the most extreme elements in Israeli society: the settler movement, and the faction of Likud angling for war with Iran. It has also focused its attention on purging universities of academics who don’t toe the right-wing ultra-nationalist Likudnik line.”*

 So the question has been asked by Justin Raimondo, editorial director of Antiwar.com, was Broadwell a lure of the Mossad to bring down Petraeus?*

Why else would an experienced security analyst leave a direct trail back to her?

Now if that was it it would be easy. But of course there is more.

Let’s call Mrs. Broadwell, Mata Hari number 1.

Now you remember Mata Hari? She was a Dutch exotic dancer who was accused of being a spy for the Germans in WW1 and was executed by firing squad in France on October 15, 1917 at the age of 41. (Broadwell is 40).

Well, enter Mata Hari number 2?

MRS. Jill Kelley (37) is a socialite in Tampa Florida. She is Lebanese and she pals around with all the military brass from MacDill Air Force Base, Fld. which is the  headquarters to the U.S. Central Commend. She is outgoing and sensual and very popular with men. She and her husband are wealthy though in financial difficulties and throw many social events for the military brass.

Jill also has an identical twin sister, Natalie Khawam living with she and her husband who is attempting to go bankrupt to the tune of 3.1 million dollars!.

This could get complicated.

Jill also is an honorary consul for South Korea. Why? According to the South Korean news agency, Yonhap, because she has “. . . good connections . . . and a willingness to develop Korea-U.S. relations”.

For example, even as all this intrigue is in progress her access to high-level military officials remains in full swing when Vice Adm. Robert Harward, a top commander, showed up at a Halloween party on Kelley’s front lawn. Harward was in full dress whites and Kelley wore a tight-fitting red dress. (now tell me Tubularsock doesn’t know the latest gossip!)

So you see it looks like Gen. John Allen has to stand in line. Even though he and Jill have been sending “flirtatious” emails over a long period of time investigators are now reviewing over 20,000 to 30,000 pages of documents and emails between Allen and Kelley between 2010 and 2012.

Now Tubularsock would consider this 20,000 to 30,000 to be a lot pages. Maybe that is why we are doing so badly in Afghanistan. That is about 41 emails a day for two years.

 So what documents would be so important that that many would have to be sent between a General and a Socialite? Are our relations with South Korea any better?

Among those documents would be a letter of support from General Allen (Petraeus sent one as well) to the judge handling Natalie’s (remember Jill’s sister) messy child custody case. Her ex-husband was awarded custody of their son.

It appears that both Allen’s and Petraeus’ judgement were a bit lax because the judge said that Natalie was “. . . dishonest and lacking in integrity”. So much for a “general view” wouldn’t you say?

Now MRS. Jill’s background is Maronite Christian.

The right-wing Maronite Christian party, the Phalange, allied with Israel and struggled to maintain the Maronite Christians’ domination of the Lebanese political scene.

There is no information to tie MRS. Jill to The Phalange but just the fact that she’s a Lebanese siren is enough to place her into the Mata Hari category but only as a courtesan. But with 30,000 documents who can tell what information she has acquired and for whom.

Now is this fun or what?

Well, not for Holly Petraeus, David’s wife. You know the little woman who had his two kids and raised them while he was playing general. The woman who stood by him for 38 years. A summa cum laude graduate of Dickinson College who gave up her career to be a military wife. You know that Holly Petraeus.

She also is the daughter of General William Knowlton who was serving as head of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point when Petraeus was a cadet there. According to Horace Campbell, Professor of African American Studies and Political Science at Syracuse University, “Petraeus was known as an ambitious officer from the time that he was at West Point when he grasped that marrying the daughter of the superintendent of the West Point military academy would enhance his career.”**

The word on the news circuit is that Holly is “furious” but in her role as a military wife will likely “stand by her man”.

As for Paula Broadwell’s husband Scott little is known about his reaction to the situation but according to the New York Daily News, “When the news of the Petraeus scandal broke the couple was celebrating her 40th birthday at the romantic Middleton Inn in Washington, Va. and when they arrived, they were “upbeat,” but as they checked out early ” . . . all of a sudden, they were not in very good moods,” a source at the inn told the newspaper.

Happy Birthday to you, honey!

Well on such an upbeat note Tubularsock has lost interest.

Maybe someone should write a novel about this. Nah ……. who would believe it!

*A Covert Affair: Petraeus Caught in the Honeypot? By Justin Raimondo

**Libya All In? Failed Nato Mission Exposes U.S. Generals. By Horace  Campbell