Archive for the ‘GUNS’ Category

A FULL PROOF PLAN FOR GUN SAFETY

Posted: June 20, 2016 in GUNS
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A FULL PROOF PLAN FOR GUN SAFETY
Now, as usual the people who want to protect the citizens from military style weapons being bought and sold and used on every street corner in our “great?” land is to rush to our “trusted?” representatives of the people, the United States Congress.

And as usual the Congress dodges safety of the people for ahhh …… campaign money that flows into their pockets from the NRA and gun manufacturers.

Just like when Congress finally passes the Corporate Profit Health Care Plan. Congress was outraged at the “single-payer” health care plan. You know, the one that would have controlled cost and provided health services to the people.

Now we all know that when it comes to health care the policy provided by the Government for Congress is literally THE BEST IN THE WORLD. But THAT policy is just too expensive to allow the mere citizens to have health coverage like that.

Oh yeah, the Congress themselves voted that policy right in without any trouble.

So anyone can see that the deck is crooked.

Well it is the same with Gun Control. Congress is provided with Police Protection so someone with a gun can’t enter Congress through the metal detectors and the Bomb dogs and the armed guards that protect the Hall of Congress.

So, gun control is handle for Congress. Just not for you, Citizen!

Tubularsock has been sitting around his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA (see THE BUNKER TOUR new additions) and working on a plan for gun safety.

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And it goes like this:

If a “loan wolf” brought a fully automatic AK47 assault rifle in small untraceable parts into the Congress offices over a period of months and in time put all the parts back together into a fully automatic AK47 assault rifle and loaded up its 100-round drum magazine with shells and walked into a joint session of Congress and opened up on them at 100 rounds a minute which is a “practical” fire rate for this weapon according to Wikipedia, what do YOU THINK would be the outcome?

Would the remaining Congress call for all of us to pray and then go home and have dinner?

Would the remaining Congress explain just how important the Second Amendment happens to be for freedom.

Would the remaining Congress hold hands in a circle and sing “We Shall Overcome”?

NO! WE WOULD HAVE THE MOST COMPREHENSIVE GUN CONTROL LAW IMMEDIATELY!

WHY?

BECAUSE IT AFFECTED THEM!

Now many people are going to say, “Tubularsock! Are you advocating for this type of violence against Congress?”

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And the answer is NO. Tubularsock advocating violence against Congress ended when his prayers failed on 9/11 when he was pushing for the planes crashing into Congress and the White House. You see, when God failed Tubularsock on that day Tubularsock gave up all hope of Congress being taken out!

So NO. Tubularsock is NOT advocating for violence against Congress. Tubularsock is only explaining the only way Congress will take Citizen Massacres Seriously.

However, if ISIS sent a “lone wolf” Tubularsock would donate to the Wildlife Federation.
Just sayen’.

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Give Tubularsock a break! All of these fucking progressives running their hypocritical bull shit about non-violence and all that shit while the black communities have been having to deal with these fucking murderous motherfucking cops every day. Non-violence my ass! Tell that to the cops.

It’s these same progressive asshole that still back Step-An-Fetch-It Obummer as he keeps ass fucking America.   And they’ll swing over to Hillary and her same corporate ass fucking ways. They seem to like it!

No this is not a time for non-violence. This is a time to come out in force and threaten the power structure. It’s the only thing they really understand. You have to become so unpredictable and dangerous that EVERY TIME a person is shot and killed or beaten to death by the cops, the city irrupts.

That is the only thing that gets their attention is when they have to call out the National Guard.

When that happens the protestors need to back off and wait until all is calm and as soon as they leave create havoc again. And just follow this pattern until the cities and the cops involved have to change their behavior or commerce is interrupted.

You don’t have to burn thing down. Ok, maybe a few cop cars for the drama of it but the real power is shutting down commerce and that can be done by causing enough disruption that people stop shopping out of inconvenience.

And remember, you’re out gunned. So the confrontations have to be city wide with small disruptive tactics all over the city at the same time. Do you think the Viet-Cong guerrillas won over the American forces because they faced them off? No, it was because they used tactics that appeared and disappeared EVERYWHERE!

When you meet a superior force, dissolve and reconfigure elsewhere. This is a continuous activity. And can go on for months.

The cops are killing people everyday. And it’s the black population that is taking the heat. So ask that question again …… “Why are they burning down their city?” GET REAL! They don’t own it.

But the trick is continual struggle and disruption over an entire city not just in the neighborhood. That becomes scary and forces change to happen because the bottom line in our society is profit and if that starts to take a hit change will occur because it becomes too expensive for the system NOT to change. They sure won’t do it because they give a shit about YOU!

 

 

POSTRACIAL

 

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Hey. Now don’t get all pushed out of shape over this Eric Garner Chokehold Death verdict.

Let’s get the facts straight before jumping off the deep end!

New York City police officer Daniel Pantaleo was not indicted by the Grand Jury because ahhh ………

Well lets see:

A video shows Pantaleo putting Garner “in an apparent chokehold”.

Chokeholds are BANNED by NYPD guidelines but apparently “apparent chokeholds” are not banned ……. or so it appears, now doesn’t it.

And of course the community just has to be protected from the CRIME of an unarmed black man selling loose, untaxed cigarettes!

Just imagine how far our community standards would fall if the hero cop Daniel Pantaleo hadn’t stopped this heinous crime. Just where would we be today?

So what are the NYPD guidelines really good for if breaking them means nothing?

Now an argument could be made that Eric Garner was a large black man and Michael Brown was a large black man and to the police they are scary.

So the LARGE BLACK MAN defense must have been used to convince the Grand Juries not to indict either Daniel Pantaleo or Darren Wilson, both small white cops for killing these large black men.

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But what defense will be used to protect the cops from shooting and killing a 12 year old black boy in a Cleveland park?

Oh come on ……… you know! The SMALL BLACK MAN defense!

But rest assured that in AmerKKKa these incidences have absolutely nothing to do with race. We in AmerKKKa are post racial. Haven’t you heard?

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From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

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From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

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The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

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That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

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However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

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Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

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Stolen

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Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

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(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

Mystery

 

 

 

footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

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