Archive for the ‘Iran Revolutionary Guard’ Category

Tube thinking man heading

TERRORIST “R” US!

Tubularsock is having trouble with the numbers. When Tubularsock adds up all the ISIS, IS, ISIL  fighters and their Toyota pickups and add that number to all of The Free Syrian Army members who don’t even exist and put those numbers with the numbers of The Syrian Revolutionary Front and taking that total and adding in the Islamic Front and the number of members of the al Qaeda-linked al-Nusra Front and of course adding in the Kurds and taking that total and adding in the American “boots on the ground”, the Turkish “boots on the ground”, and the Saudi “boots on the ground”, taking the total of the “boots on the ground” number and dividing by two for obvious reasons, Tubularsock has accomplished not only an extreme run-on sentence but a number larger than the population of Syria!

This may be the exact reason why there is such a huge uptick in Syrian refugees going to Europe. There is just not room for regular people to remain in Syria any longer. That and perhaps being bombed and killed everyday.

Now if you take the numbers of Assad’s army and add in the the Russian “boots on the ground” and the Iranian “boots on the ground” and taking the square root of that total and dividing into the massive number of “Freedom Fighters” well ……..

We have a mess. So after four plus years now it has been discussed that Syria may be able to sit in on negotiations of this “conflict” without eliminating their government beforehand as the U.S. had wanted.

Tube pawns burn

But far more important to Tubularsock is, what ever happened to George-The-Lessor’s famous dictum …… “Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.”?

George-The-Lessor never made a distinction between the really “worst of the worst” terrorists (except all the ones he and Cheney tortured in Guantanamo) and the “moderately nice” terrorists. George said TERRORISTS! And if “you” aren’t with “us” then, well . . .  .

But now that the “decider” has been away from the Presidential Desk for almost eight years American Foreign has gone to shit. The Black-guy just hasn’t worked out all that well.

Because?

Well, he supports TERRORISTS and therefore is against us ……….. obviously!

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube Heading Bombs

Tubularsock has JUST figured it out!

And now let Tubularsock say it before others …… “thank you Tubularsock!”

Well, Tubularsock has many hats, sort of speak, and then with cleaning the bunker and all, well it took some time to figure it out ……….

Anyway ………

Even after you figure it out it’s not without confusion.

Now there is al Qaeda, and al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, and al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb and ISIL, Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (Islamic State) or ISIS, Islamic State in Iraq and Syria or DAIISH (or DIISH or DAISH) the group’s name in Arabic al dawla al islamiyye f’il iraq w’al sham …….. aren’t acronyms fun?

The last three are the same group which is confusing in the first place.

And then the Al-Nusra Front, and Al-Shabaab, and 63 others on the United States terrorists list.

But the new kid on the block is the Khorasan group. Oh yea!

And they don’t even appear on the terrorist list!

The Pentagon said that they were “seasoned al Qaeda veterans”!

AND these battle-hardened al Qaeda fighters travelled from Afghanistan, Pakistan and elsewhere to Syria allegedly to plot several attacks on American interests.

Tube guns couch

Muhsin al-FadhliAnd GET SCARED because the leader of this band of merry men is Muhsin al-Fadhli, a designated terrorist and apparent 9/11 insider who received advance notification that terrorists would strike the United States on September 11, 2001, along with George W. Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, the CIA, the FBI, the Mossad, the SVR (the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service), the Saudi Intelligence Agency and some Israeli “students” who were taking pictures and jumping for joy as it was happening.

But Muhsin al-Fadhli is no longer with us because our bomb attack wiped him out! Or that is what the “social-media” has been reporting.

But Susan Rice, the  U.S. National Security Advisor stated, “We can’t confirm that at this stage. We’ve seen reports on social media to that effect. We will continue to look for signs as to whether or not that’s, in fact, the case.”

So you can see that EXTREME EVIL may be impervious to death no matter if the bombing mission cost us $500 million dollars!

Now don’t you worry. Remember in our last escapade when we would kill the worst of the worst al Qaeda leader only to discovery that a new leader would appear and we’d kill him and then the next ……

Well, trust Tubularsock on this, there are plenty to go around!

And as for the “FACT” that these seasoned battle-hardened al Qaeda fighters that make up the Khorasan group are sitting all together to be bomb is got to be amazing when we were lead to believe by Dick Cheney that the “worst of the worst” of al Qaeda were locked up in Guantanamo.

Wow, just who can one believe?

Anyway ……. there is plenty of fear to go around.

You see Muhsin al-Fadhli is/was being trained by the SCARIEST OF SCARIEST bomb maker that the world has ever known, Ibrahim al-Asiri !!!!!!

Tube & Ibrahim celling

Ibrahim al-Asiri was the “chief” bomb maker of al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula.

He was responsible for making the bomb that was used in the “2009 Christmas Day bomb plot” in which the Nigerian passenger, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, attempted to set off plastic explosives sewn to his underwear.

The result was Abdulmutallab burnt his dick but the bomb failed!

And then Ibrahim al-Asiri also made the bombs for the “2010 cargo plane bomb plot” in which plastic explosives and a detonating mechanism, were found on separate cargo planes. The plastic explosives were hidden in a printer cartridges in each plane.

These bombs were never detonated but were discovered as a result of intelligence received from Saudi Arabia’s security network.

So this is all the work of the MASTERMIND BOMB MAKER attacking the United States. Three bombs no explosions.

Scared yet?

Well Ibrahim al-Asiri did have one, kind-of successful, bomb that he made detonate.

And that is the one where he took the plastic explosives and shoved them up the “rectum” of his 23 year old brother, Abdullah al-Asiri. Abdullah then detonated himself in an attempt to assassinate Muhammad bin Nayef, the Saudi deputy minister of Interior but he detonated his plastic-explosive-rectum-device by cell phone too early and Nayef was only slightly injured.

Needless to say Abdullah did not fair as well. Could it be that he dialed the wrong number?xplow copy

So what we have here is a hint that the al-Asiri family aren’t the brightest crayons in the box. One brother can’t make a workable bomb except the one he put up his younger brother’s rectum.

And the younger brother who has his head up his ass even to agree to having plastic explosives shoved in his butt!

Yet, Ibrahim is the guy that is helping the now blown up Khorasan group to make bombs.

What is wrong with this picture?

And to make matters worse if you remember the “Christmas Bomber” was escorted onto that passenger fight without being run through security and without a passport! Say What!

So this is the MASTERMIND BOMB MAKER that has frightened the United States to bomb the Khorasan group?

But that isn’t the only bombing that has occurred due to Ibrahim and his bomb making attempts. Last year a CIA drone strike took out Ahmed Said Saad, a Syrian medical doctor who had been working with Ibrahim on his experiments.

You see, the rectum-bomb worked, it actually blew-up! So Ibrahim teamed up with Ahmed Said Saad (a medical doctor) before the CIA droned him and according to U.S. officials succeeded in developing a bomb that can be surgically implanted inside the human body. The military refers to such a weapon as a “surgically implanted improvised explosive device,” or SIIED. …….. aren’t acronyms fun?

So the plan is that radicalized Westerners who have Western passports will be implanted with these implanted bombs and blow themselves up within the United States.

And to think that Ibrahim al-Asiri, dropped out of his chemistry class in college which just goes to show you that “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing”.

Anyway this is what Tubularsock has figured out. The solution to these deadly human weapons. And how to detonate them BEFORE they cause damage to others.

Well we could take the old fashion approach and just stop bombing people so as not to make MORE terrorists but sane approaches are not respected due to the simple fact that by doing that huge profits would have to be forfeited …… need Tubularsock say more?

An approach needs to be expensive, wasteful, and secret because that is the only way the public will believe they are safe.

Now Tubularsock is used to being ridiculed and persecuted for his futuristic ideas but that has never stopped him before. Mockery and derision is always directed at those on the cutting edge.

And huge profit? …….. Tubularsock can get behind that but only because saving the nation is the only patriotic priority.

tube invest copy

Now if you would care to invest in Tubularsock’s new venture just send a check, cash, bit coin, a goat, a pick-up truck, a bushel of non-GMO corn to:

New Technology Mega Data Implementation, Ltd.

333 Underground Bunker

Secret City, CA 66633-5484

Now here is the expensive, wasteful, and secret plan. WARNING, it is in code.

Now Tubularsock has estimated that there are “X” number of terrorists.

The NSA has EVERYBODY’S cell phone number.

The number of terrorists with cell phones are “XY”

The number of non-terrorist with cell phones are “Z”

Are you still following this? Don’t you have something better to do with your time?

X – XY= WYZ

Z – WXZ= HZYU The exact number of terrorists using cell phones.

Or something like that ………

So NTMDI, Ltd. will call every “HZYU” every six minutes ( the seventh minute we rest).

So if a terrorist is in the process of carrying a SIIED he’d explode ……

And NTMDI, Ltd would charge $3.00 per call to the government or NTMDI, Ltd +  HZYU = a fucking great deal of $$$$$$$$. ………. Aren’t acronyms fun?   

Tube briefcase of money

What do you think? Brilliant or what?

Ok, bottom line …… the U.S. Government will fall for this and if Tubularsock can get enough Congressmen/women to fall for this WE (my investors) will be catapulted into the 1%!

Hell, we’ll even be able to use the United States Senate’s Gym to do push-ups!

Save the accolades for later ……. cash is preferred!

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube thinking man heading

 

Tubularsock was ask by the blog site Deconstructing Myths to contribute an article to their Mic check guest blogger series.

The opportunity is simple: To open information up to a broader audience than Tubularsock presently has and to present that information within a forum of enlightened and creative people .

 Deconstructing Myths is the creation of Jeff Nguyen, a multi-talented  fellow with the stated goal of  “. . . shed[ing] light on some of the important issues of our time.” And to find “collective solutions” to the problems found in our world today.

But the largest focus of Jeff’s work to is “. . . to deconstruct the myths many of us have been raised on through the powerful influence of the media and teachings of the dominant culture.”

That works for Tubularsock!

 

So the bottom line is simple …………. to read this Tubularsock blog post you too will have to travel to:          http://deconstructingmyths.com/

 

And I want to thank Jeff for this great opportunity ………… I am sure all of you will agree, “Tubularsock needs all the help he can get!”

 

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube heading slingshot

 

 

 

foreign policy eyes

 

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube heading garbage2014

Tubularsock was out of his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. for several days due to an intense family emergency. It was worse than having to eat dinner with the Cheney’s. It was hell personified and Tubularsock doesn’t even believe in the hell concept but it is the best descriptive for a quick picture.

Happily all’s good now and I’m back in the bunker viewing the collective mess that we live in and feel good that nothing has changed for the better which is rather comforting.

You know, the shit you live in in the collective culture is shit we’re familiar with and just like any abusive relationship it’s still home. Yes, we’re sick mother-fuckers!

So while Tubularsock was focused elsewhere he missed:

 The State of the Union Address..

 

 The flair-up Kanye West created in his quest to get Kim Kardashian on the Vogue Cover.

 

 Some football game with a lot of custom ads.

 

 Brig. Gen. Hossein Salami, a top commander of Iran’s Revolutionary Guards boasting that Iran “ . . . have targets within America.” But so does Tubularsock! 

 

The Justin Bieber’s DUI. 

 

And the State Department’s release of the XL Keystone Pipeline environmental report written by the oil industry for the occasion.

Wow. Turn your back for just a minute and the shit just keeps hitting the fan!

So where does Tubularsock start?

Where-else Justin ………….

MSNBC was in the middle of an interview with Congresswoman Jane Harman about the NSA  spying scandal when they interrupted that interview to bring forth a BREAKING NEWS story.

And what was that BREAKING NEWS?

The judge was reading the charges against Justin Bieber at THAT MOMENT!

Really, need Tubularsock say more about this crap?

Sure.

There was also a big discussion about Justin having zits that showed up on his mug-shots. It appears that the cops don’t air-brush out blemishes. What a travesty.

How is Tubularsock going to handle that a 19 year old boy who drives a yellow Lamborghini has zits?

lambergene yellow

And not to overplay this cathartic bull-shit but the White House had to pay attention to the incident because of enough people had signed an on-line petition demanding that Justin be DEPORTED back to Canada for being a “bad influence on American youth”. Like a border make’s a difference.

It seems that the White House has a page that citizens can present grievances and if the numbers are great enough then the White House will take some type of action.

Well, bottom line …….. a DUI just doesn’t rank high enough in the pantheon of crimes to warrant deportation. Zits, however …….. you may have a case!

Then the State of The Union Address. 

Gag Tubularsock with a spoon. The bull shit was stacked so high that even Joe Biden couldn’t add to it with his inept personal deficiencies.

I don’t know about you but Tubularsock just has trouble listening to abstract when I’m stepping over the homeless on the streets whenever I go out. Now granted, riding a bicycle puts me more in tune with the direct environment than say riding around in your SUV with the music on and the tinted windows but even you have to get out to buy your food.

At times Tubularsock thinks he’s in India as he criss-crosses a human sea of men and women with card-board signs asking for help.

And to have Obummer say that women aren’t getting paid as much as men for the same work ………. well no shit Dick Tracy.

“Let’s make this a year of action,” Obummer says. Sure. What has changed from last year?

see no

Well according to Bummer’s intro, A teacher has helped her student, AN entrepreneur does her part to create 8 million jobs, An auto worker fine tuned some of the most fuel efficient cars in the world to do his part to help America to WEAN ITSELF OFF FOREIGN OIL. And on and on until we come to the military families who tuck their children in bed and remember fallen comrades BUT NOT REMEMBER ALL THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN THEY WASTED AS THEY MURDERED THEIR WAY THROUGH IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN.

And all the while the camera flashes over the dumb shit that can’t clap but beats his chest with his hand instead because he’s the poster-boy of the deformed and maimed “military-hero” who still doesn’t get it. Nor does his stupid bloated father standing next to him. He may be even more of a fucking dumb shit than his son!

When will they wake up? What a price to pay to be cannon fodder. You get the President to point out what a hero you are for getting yourself blown to shit and then forgotten when the lights go out and the cameras are put away.

A State of the Union Circus would not be complete without a freak show so they propped up Cory Remsberg the current military excuse of a hero and the Congress that sent him and so many to die and become crippled all applauded and thereby absolved their collective guilt.

What a sad commentary on the nation.

And it is that propagandistic bull-shit that is continually pushed and as long as everyone focuses on the sacrificial, emotional horse shit ol’ Cory will be rolled around as an example and Cory says he still wants to serve his country.

Well, Cory ……… you are still severing the ends of the war profiteers. The fact that you and your father are both fucking brain dead helps push the war agenda. Congratulations.

But without a chance to rest your mind let Tubularsock deal with the flair-up Kanye West created in his quest to get Kim Kardashian on the Vogue Cover.

Kanye for some reason is not the brightest crayon in the box. Recently he has punched a couple of guys for comments they have made to him. One was in a chiropractor’s office of all places.

It seems guys say shit to Kanye, then he punches them, then they sue him, and then they collect an out of court settlement of $125,000.00.

Sound like a plan? Tubularsock is working on his retirement program. Where does Kanye hang out?

UBE kim and Kayne

Well the hip-hop artist allegedly confronted Vogue’s chief editor Anna Wintour at the Beverly Hills Polo Lounge, and got right up in her face over the issue of Kim not being placed on the current cover of Vogue.

Because Anna is a personal friend he can’t see why she isn’t willing to do him this personal favor and put Kim on the cover.

In truth, Tubularsock can’t figure out why Anna won’t put Tubularsock on the cover of Vogue. It just seem like the right thing to do.

Tube-esque vogue

Now who would believe a guy named Salami? It sounds like baloney to Tubularsock. And all this Iran’s Revolutionary Guards shit. Remember how Saddam Insane’s Revolutionary Guards were this huge danger to our troops before our invasion of Iraq?

TARGET AMERICA!

The mass media played that wild card and pumped up everyone until when we invaded they weren’t even there. Another crack intelligence failure. OR a sly propaganda ploy by  American for Americans.

Pretty much all Tubularsock can recommend to assist Iran with suggested targets within the United States is to call 1-800-al-Qaeda and leave a message.

Ah, yes. That football game with the custom ads. The least said the better. I was hoping that Iran would have taken that out but alas Tubularsock can’t have every new years resolution come true.

And while no one was looking including the State Department the environmental impact report produced by the oil industries was rubbered stamped out by the State Department and in general the conclusion ……… what impact?

The fact that the XL pipeline crosses over 1700 bodies of fresh water, ahh ……. just what could go wrong. And the argument goes like this ……… it would be more dangerous to transport this shit oil by train so leaky pipelines that will be thoroughly inspected maybe once (if they can spare the time) will be way safer.

Well the unions want it because they’ll get almost 2000 new jobs for ten minutes and then years of catastrophic leak repair which the pipeline owners will have only limited liability before the federal and state governments put up the bucks.

EVERY oil leak in the current pipeline coming out of Canada that has leaked has caused irreparable damage to the environmental balance of the areas involved that can not be corrected for a hundred years. Now who has that kind of time?

And yet you’ll see Obummer sign off on this XL pipeline ……… why? Oh come now. Haven’t you noticed yet?

Barack Obama is the first black president in white-face and as long as the-slave-boy keeps up the “good-nigger” role the white power structure will let him play golf with them.

white obama baloon

Yes’em massa!

Come on everyone …………. let’s sing the blues.

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM