Archive for March, 2016

SCANDAL, SCANDAL EVERYWHERE …

Posted: March 28, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, America Asleep, American Exceptionalism, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, ethics training, Garbage, Hillary Clinton, Psychology, psychomania, RELATIONSHIPS, SARAH PALIN, TED CRUZ, torture, WOMEN ISSUES, Women's vote
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Tubularsock has called this press conference today to say that Ted Cruz’s adventures into extramarital affairs
or Donald Trump’s romps with a variety of younger women are  JUST SHOCKING to Tubularsock.

Even Hillary, it has been rumored, has stepped out of line when it comes to marital fidelity.

And Bernie would have, it’s assumed, except Jane would have “cleaned-his-plow” among other things if he had done so!

In fact, if you look at the history of SEX in and around the White House, even if you exclude the Secret Service’s prostitutes, you would find that it is prolific.

So in Tubularsock’s continued effort to have a transparent Presidential Campaign and a complete open door policy in Tubularsock’s future Presidency, Tubularsock has to report to the American citizens that  THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER articles about Tubularsock are “GARBAGE”!

Tubularsock knows that Donald Trump in his continued jealousy over Tubularsock’s large hands and perfect hair has been having his publisher friends at THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER publish these disgusting attacks directed at Tubularsock!

 

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THESE STORIES ARE NOT TRUE! THEY ARE LYING FOR TRUMP! Plain and simple!

Now, it is true that in Tubularsock’s early days he was involved with June Cleaver. But only in the afternoons.

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And Tubularsock had a three-way with Annette and a guy named Mickey.

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“Those were the days, my friend ……… we thought they’d never end.”

But this was the foolishness of youth that we all know so well!

 

AND IT IS TRUE THAT:

Tubularsock did talk positions with Hillary.

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And bear relationships with Sarah.

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And the size of Brought Worst with Merkel.

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And, oh sure ……… torture, bondage, and leather with Condi.

 

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But these were ALL PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS!

So Tubularsock stands clear, honest and open. Just as he’d be as President.

Now, TED CRUZ ……… where do we go from here? Few Presidents have been able to keep it in their pants!

We as Americans already have to worry that if Hillary gets elected we’ll have to see the White House turned into

Bill Clinton’s Brothel! And you guys in Tubularsock Land hadn’t even thought of that to worry about! Or have you?

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POLITICS 1-A

Posted: March 26, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election
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THE CLINTON WARS

Posted: March 25, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, America Asleep, Henrey Kissinger, Hillary Clinton, WAR, WAR CRIMES, War Criminals
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SHITINSHITOUT!

Posted: March 22, 2016 in America Asleep, American Dream, American Exceptionalism, Information Age, Kayne West, Kim Kardashian, Psychology, RELATIONSHIPS
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Tubularsock has always wondered how it would be to live in a country which had an educated and informed electorate but Tubularsock has come to the conclusion that the possibility of that will NEVER come to pass ….. EVER.

Not in the United States of America …… that is a given.

In former-times the learned had to read from parchment texts by candlelight and write with a pointed feather. In even earlier times they “wrote” on the walls of caves. And “In the beginning” they “wrote” on stone tablets using a chisel and hammer but in truth you’d have to be stoned to believe “those” stories.

Our society has the ability to be informed IN DETAIL and in REAL TIME to information 24/7. And information is just pouring out of every electronic orifice we have in our pockets, on our desks, in our cars, on our laps BUT the populous knows less now than they ever have in the history of our nation.

Why is that? No really ……… we can Twitter and Blather, we can Facebook and Flickr, we can Pinit and Postit, we can Linkedin and Pinterest and if all else fails we can Google Plus. You’d think we’d know something, right? WRONG!

Now, not that EVERYTHING is pointless in our “information age” it is all backwards and you have to know how to read it. Here is a clue. By the time “Madison Avenue” has come up with the proper catchall phrase or jingle for an experience it is too late. So even the term “information age” isn’t informational but the opposite, just like “democracy” isn’t, or “precision targeting” isn’t, or “humanitarian war” isn’t!

And take note, the catchall phrase or jingle LEADS the experience. THAT is what “Madison Avenue” was created to do and is still doing but not under that archaic title.

Now it’s called psych-ops. See how that works?

Thought control has been in operation for so long that it now appears to not exist. Even the government, religious and academic institutions BELIEVE their own crap! And leaders lead from their own concoctions of their own crap ………… the witches brew has taken root!

So just sit back, eat another organic pretzel. Have another cup of chai tea and ruminate on the true meaning of this:

About five days ago the New York Daily News reported that they had talked with the “esteemed forensic linguist Professor Rob Leonard, who gives expert testimony about language and writing in murder trials” and had him analyze THE RECENT TWEETS OF KIM KARDASHIAN to determine if it was she who had written them.

Yes, you see Kim posted a “nude selfie” (no, that isn’t the newsy part) and there was a flurry of criticism of her which led her tweeting a series of “humorous” tweets bashing Bette Midler, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Piers Morgan.

Now, Tubularsock hopes you are following this …….

Many didn’t believe that Kim was “behind” those tweets and she responded, “Wait I can’t believe people thought Kanye or Khole hacked my Twitter. I swear I’m funny too!!!”

Well Tubularsock does have to mention here for clarification that, Kim IS “funny too” and that’s an understatement. Just in case you had become lost in this drama not to have notice it yourself.

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The good Professor pointed out after extensive review of all the Tweets that the term “hey” is often used by Kanye but NOT by Kim, the hashtags were all in lowercase letters but Kim usually uses ALL CAPS or Caps The First Letter Of Every Word while Kanye uses ALL CAPS, no caps, or just the first word capped. And finally “Twitter” is always spelled “twitter” by Kim but always capitalized by Kanye.

So the verdict is …….. the envelope please ………. Kanye hacked Kim’s TWITTER and made the “funny” bashing comments!

So this is what the “information age” has become and WE ARE ALL collateral damage!

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CUBA, OBAMA & FREEDOM!

Posted: March 21, 2016 in Castro, Cuba, FREEDOM, Guantanamo, Obama
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Wow! THIS IS IT!

The time has come ………. the end of Guantanamo TODAY.

As you may have heard Obummer is in Cuba.

“‘What we did for 50 years did not serve our interests or the interests of the Cuban people,” Mr. Obama said. “We continue to have serious differences, including on democracy and human rights,” he said, noting that if Cuba made changes on those fronts it would help persuade Congress to lift the embargo.” (NY TIMES 3/21/16)

Now the Americans wanted to have a public question and answer session which as the Times put it “. . . led to a few tense moments.”

Mr. Castro was asked about the existence of political prisoners in Cuba and he indicated that there were none! He then went on to say, “Give me a list of political prisoners and I will release them”.

Damn! Tubularsock dialed Raul right up and gave him the list of the prisoners still locked up in cages at Guantanamo!

They should be free by morning!

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And Congress doesn’t have to do anything because Tubularsock’s list will be handled by Raul!

 

See how simple foreign policy is when you let Tubularsock handle it!

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TRUMPHANDS!

Posted: March 17, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, Bernie Sanders, Bull Shit, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, TED CRUZ
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The Presidential Race has been worse than a sitcom and the scary part is that one of these questionable individuals will REALLY BE the next President of the United States of America!

And just how does one compare them against each other?

Integrity? Well, Bernie has a little but the rest of them absolutely NONE!

Truthfulness? Well, they are political animals after all, so ………. NONE!

Transparency? Ok, Tubularsock was just kidding.

So that leaves you and Tubularsock with only one option ………. Hand Size. Which leaves Hillary with no hands at all.

 

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THIRD REICH TRUMPLER!

Posted: March 16, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, Donald Trump, RACISM
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CLOWNS ABOUND!

Posted: March 14, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, America Asleep, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, TED CRUZ
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CLOWNS TUBE

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PRESS THE RESET!

Posted: March 12, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, America Asleep, boots on the ground, Hillary Clinton
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LOOKIN’ AT THE END.

Posted: March 11, 2016 in 2016 Presidential Election, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Psychology, TED CRUZ, VOTE
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LOOKIN’ AT THE END.

Now Tubularsock was sittin’ on his big fat ……. ahhh, Gothic office chair in his top floor corner office in his underground bunker over looking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA when he turned his attention to SCIENCE.

Yes, it is true that at the time Tubularsock was nestled in his lab coat and yes it is white, standing for purity of thought. Because Tubularsock was thinking SCIENCE!

Now, is Political Science truly SCIENCE or is it “pseudoscience”?

Are political polls REAL Science?

And if they are real science why don’t REAL SCIENTISTS with white lab coats do the polls?

Well Political Science is part of the Social Sciences and is considered a “soft” science, meaning it revolves more around subjective interpretations than hard data. Yet, within the study of Political Sciences there are people that call themselves experts in statistical methodology. And it also allows the “soft-scientists” to wear plaid rather than white, a little known fact!

Political science is both a social science and a humanities field. Social sciences analyze and evaluate human behavior, with an emphasis on empirical research. Humanities, in contrast, study human culture and are primarily critical or speculative in nature. Students of political science learn theoretical tools to help make sense of political behavior and analytical skills to help investigate and understand political choices and their consequences.

Political science is methodologically diverse. For example, psephology, game theory, political psychology, and model building are all part of the methods used and because the Political Scientist’s work is based on, concerned with, or verifiable by observation or experience rather than theory or pure logic: they provided considerable empirical evidence to support their arguments.

Which leads Tubularsock to THE ONLY Political Science method that Tubularsock can truly rely upon ……….. RUMPOLOGY!

Butt, what is it,  you ask ……….

It just happens to be the most accurate, prosaic and precise method known.

Rumpology was practiced by the Babylonians, the Indians (from India), the Ancient Greeks and Romans. Well, there is actually no evidence of this except from the proclamations of Jackie Stallone, the American astrologer. But Tubularsock really trusts Rumpology for evaluating political leaders.

AS PROOF Jackie has predicted the outcome of Presidential elections and Oscars by reading the “bottoms” of her two pet Doberman Pinschers. Now tell Tubularsock just how perfect is THAT?

Tubularsock does know what you are thinking right about now but for those that have eyes to see you’ll follow ………

Even if you don’t have eyes to see Rumpology works. At least says Ulf Beck, the blind German clairvoyant. “Ulf claims he can read people’s futures by feeling their naked buttocks!” (Wikipedia) Sure he can …….

Tubularsock realizes at this point that you may think that Ulf is putting this stuff out on the HOT DATES dating service on the web but no …….. he’s clairvoyant!

So enough already!

Rumpology is the practice of “reading” one’s “posterior characteristics”. This can be done by the “hands-on method”, by email using digital photographs or by plaster buttock prints.

And from this information the Rumpologist can: reveal a person’s past and future, diagnose one’s personality, and detect one’s charismatic potential.

In fact Jackie states that, “The crack of your behind corresponds to the division of the two hemispheres of the brain”. So hells-bells, what more does Tubularsock have to say?

Well, Tubularsock figures if we could get the “Butt Prints” from the candidates running for President of the United States and run the “numbers” we could just pick the best candidate and that would be that.

BUTT WAIT!

Tubularsock realizes that it is a radical idea butt hey, THAT IS WHAT TUBULARSOCK IS ALL ABOUT!

Oh, by the way ……. Jackie is Sylvester Stallone’s mother. And DrB, she never dated Henry Kissinger!

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