Archive for the ‘TED CRUZ’ Category

Tube heading YOKE

Tube Cruz Control

Tube Sig.red

TUBEPAPERS heading

HELL’S BELLS CRUZ !

Tubularsock knows you may not believe this but Tubularsock has had to take on a new part-time-job in order to PROTECT the Satanists from slander at its highest or is that lowest, hmmm, order ……. whatever.

According RAW STORY (4/29/16), it seems that former House Speaker John Boehner has denigrated the Satanic Temple and ALL its satanic members by calling Ted Cruz “LUCIFER IN THE FLESH”!

It’s not that the friendly Satanic Temple doesn’t believe that Ted Cruz isn’t full of shit and is exactly as Boehner described him when he said, “I have Democratic friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

But rather, they take umbrage at Boehner because there is NO WAY Ted Cruz is the living incarnate of Satan according to the Satanists!

That’s where Tubularsock’s new part-time-job comes in. Proof positive that TUBULARSOCK is the living incarnate of Satan! (only part time though).

YEAH, CAN I GET A BURGER AND FRIES TO GO? HOLD THE ANCHOVIES. HELL YES WELL DONE! WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, TED CRUZ?

YEAH, CAN I GET A BURGER AND FRIES TO GO? HOLD THE ANCHOVIES. HELL YES WELL DONE! WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, TED CRUZ?

It’s ALL GOOD in a BAD kind of a way.

Now really, can American politics get better than this?

sigtube

Tubularsock heading slant

 

Tube Jesus Cruz

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube Thought Heading

Tube point of view

 

Tube paint sig

Tube sling new heading

 

Tube cruz brainless

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube ready heading

Tubularsock has called this press conference today to say that Ted Cruz’s adventures into extramarital affairs
or Donald Trump’s romps with a variety of younger women are  JUST SHOCKING to Tubularsock.

Even Hillary, it has been rumored, has stepped out of line when it comes to marital fidelity.

And Bernie would have, it’s assumed, except Jane would have “cleaned-his-plow” among other things if he had done so!

In fact, if you look at the history of SEX in and around the White House, even if you exclude the Secret Service’s prostitutes, you would find that it is prolific.

So in Tubularsock’s continued effort to have a transparent Presidential Campaign and a complete open door policy in Tubularsock’s future Presidency, Tubularsock has to report to the American citizens that  THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER articles about Tubularsock are “GARBAGE”!

Tubularsock knows that Donald Trump in his continued jealousy over Tubularsock’s large hands and perfect hair has been having his publisher friends at THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER publish these disgusting attacks directed at Tubularsock!

 

Tube NE Scandal

Tube scandle 2

THESE STORIES ARE NOT TRUE! THEY ARE LYING FOR TRUMP! Plain and simple!

Now, it is true that in Tubularsock’s early days he was involved with June Cleaver. But only in the afternoons.

Tube and Cleaver

And Tubularsock had a three-way with Annette and a guy named Mickey.

Tube and annette

“Those were the days, my friend ……… we thought they’d never end.”

But this was the foolishness of youth that we all know so well!

 

AND IT IS TRUE THAT:

Tubularsock did talk positions with Hillary.

Tube:Hillary

And bear relationships with Sarah.

Tube:Sarah

And the size of Brought Worst with Merkel.

tube:merkle

And, oh sure ……… torture, bondage, and leather with Condi.

 

Tube:Condi

But these were ALL PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS!

So Tubularsock stands clear, honest and open. Just as he’d be as President.

Now, TED CRUZ ……… where do we go from here? Few Presidents have been able to keep it in their pants!

We as Americans already have to worry that if Hillary gets elected we’ll have to see the White House turned into

Bill Clinton’s Brothel! And you guys in Tubularsock Land hadn’t even thought of that to worry about! Or have you?

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

 

 

Tube heading surf large

 

The Presidential Race has been worse than a sitcom and the scary part is that one of these questionable individuals will REALLY BE the next President of the United States of America!

And just how does one compare them against each other?

Integrity? Well, Bernie has a little but the rest of them absolutely NONE!

Truthfulness? Well, they are political animals after all, so ………. NONE!

Transparency? Ok, Tubularsock was just kidding.

So that leaves you and Tubularsock with only one option ………. Hand Size. Which leaves Hillary with no hands at all.

 

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM