Archive for the ‘FED’ Category

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From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

NY Toast Cover

From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

Lunch

The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

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That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

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However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

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Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

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Stolen

Obama left

Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

DairyQueed gang

(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

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footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

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PROPAGANDA BY ANY OTHER NAME IS TRUTH

There is so much bullshit around this Ukraine mis-adventure that it is starting to make “regular crap” look good!

Now I was talking to a highly educated friend of mine just the other day and he was asking why is it that Tubularsock “likes” Putin and didn’t Tubularsock realize that Russia was posing a threat to the Ukraine by concentrating troops along its boarders?

Well Tubularsock wasn’t surprised by this limited view because he keeps up with current news by reading Newsweek and Time Magazines. And he believes he’s “informed”!

Well sure, the guy has a stressful job and limited time to “keep up” with the world. What with all the different countries doing different things EVERY day and all.

Why not get it ALL your news under one fast-third-grade-level-read-umbrella?

Now, far be it for Tubularsock to go off on Newsweek and Time Magazines except to say that Tubularsock wouldn’t use either even as toilet paper. In part because I think one or both are only on line now and not in physical form any longer which causes a logistical problem as toilet paper. And the other reason is then what would I do with the New York Times?

Oh my, Tubularsock does digress!

Now there seems to be a bit of a disagreement between John Kerry’s view of the Ukraine and what is happening and RT’s (Russia Today News) view of the Ukraine and what is happening. No surprise there!

John (you remember him, right …. Secretary of State) called RT a “propaganda bullhorn” and it was pushing Putin’s “fantasy”. My, my.

Well according to DIPNOTE the U.S. Department of State “Official Blog” posted by Richard Stengel : that Kerry’s remarks resulted in “. . . a predictable howl of protest from RT’s editor, who claimed the State Department knows little about what is really happening in Ukraine today and had the audacity to request an apology.”

Now Richard Stengel continued with, “I spent seven years as the managing editor of TIME magazine [now that’s clear] before joining the State Department. I understand the difference between news, propaganda and opinion. Propaganda is the deliberate dissemination of information that you know to be false or misleading in order to influence an audience.”

Well Richard seems, to Tubularsock, to be the one who is propagating “falsehoods” when it comes to the Ukraine and if Kerry doesn’t really know what RT is pointing out then he is truly an idiot!

Let Tubularsock just lead you through a few of the things RT has brought to the attention of the world and how Richard Stengel and John Kerry seem to be the ones who are “misleading” and attempting to twist the information.

Last week it was claimed by RT that the United States had “invested” $5 Billion in regime change in the Ukraine. Richard Stengel says that that is a “ludicrous assertion”.

Yet it was Assistant Secretary of State for European Affairs Victoria Nuland who told a business group on December 13, 2013 that “. . . we have invested more than $5 billion in what was needed for Ukraine to achieve its European aspirations.”

In addition remember the intercepted, phone call where Victoria Nuland said her choice was to replace Yanukovych was Arseniy Yatsenyuk. The call was to U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Geoffrey Pyatt. 

Arseniy Yatsenyuk ended up as Prime Minister after the coup. Which shows collusion by the United States with the U.S. and European banking interests. 

But not a word about that from Kerry or Stengel. They act like it was a natural “democratic” process. Like the CIA involvement in the process was akin to boys scouts helping a little old lady across the street. 

Nor does Kerry or Stengel take on the issue of the dominance of Neo-Nazis in the new created Ukrainian Government as exposed by RT.

Now in Eastern Ukraine there was the incident cited by Kerry at the Geneva Conference that had been called to reduce tensions in Ukraine. Kerry said that, “Just in the last couple of days, notices were sent to Jews in one city indicating that they had to identify themselves as Jews. And obviously, the accompanying threat implied is – or threatened – or suffer the consequences, one way or the other.”

But a few day before Kerry’s speech that bit of information had been found to be the work of pro-coup operators NOT the pro-Russian Ukraine supporters.

Yet Kerry sited the information any way as if it were true. And he has the nerve to call RT a “propaganda bullhorn”?

It appears that what RT exposes The State Department just doesn’t discuss and thereby claims that it is RT that is doing the PROPAGANDA!

There is also the total lack of any discussion in the maimed-stream-media in the U.S. of the breaking of the deal made with Russia that NATO would not push for an eastward expansion which is why Ukraine has been overthrown by the U.S. and NATO backed cronies. It is NATO and the U.S. that has broken the agreed understanding with Russia not some aggressive move by the Russians!

The Russian move is a response. They, in this case, are not the aggressor!

Well the beat goes on. And the “free press” in the U.S. are so busy licking the asses of the government just like they did over Iraq that they have become again the government’s mouth piece.

Few in the maimed-stream-media do any investigation of ANYTHING with the exception of the detailed pictures of Kim Kardashian’s last bikini photo shoot!

Where RT, Al-Jazeera and CCTV (the new English-language programming set up by China) all give a more honest view of the Ukrainian mess than any press in the U.S.

Now this isn’t to say that one doesn’t have to be awake to bias from these news organization. But, if you try to broaden your news reading you will be able to find a broader world view than just “American Exceptionalism”. 

It was just a couple of years ago that Hillary Clinton was saying that the U.S. was “. . . “losing the information war”. And just couldn’t figure out why.

Well, let Tubularsock let you in on a little secret that he has discovered and that is that more and more of the American people are just sick and tired of “. . . the U.S. corporate media’s regurgitation of the manifold and manifestly deceitful justifications for U.S. actions abroad” as Ray McGovern (former CIA intelligence – Soviet Foreign Policy Branch) so clearly stated.

As for Tubularsock siding with Putin. Not so but I do like his coat!

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Funny how things work out sometimes. Tubularsock was just sitting minding his own business as he tends to do on Mondays. And Tubularsock got to thinking about his old friend Vlad and what he was up to, so Tubularsock called him on his Bunker-Secure-Phone.

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Now the BSP is a low tech NSA proof phone that connects to Vlad’s house, or palace or whatever. He’s got 20 Palaces he can spend time in as well as 58 aircraft at his disposal. Oh yeah, and then there is that £47,000 toilet but who counts. After all the guy is worth $70 Billion according to those who say they know. 

Anyway Vlad and Tube were commiserating over all the shit Obummer is laying down against Vlad’s friends with all those economic sanctions. Obummer announced the new asset freezes and visa bans against rich or politically connected members of Putin’s inner circle. Seventeen Russian companies and seven of Vlad’s associates.

Wow, what a sore looser Obummer happens to be. After all his net worth is a pauper sum of $12.2 Million. Hardly enough for a cup of coffee in today’s market place.

But, wait a minute, Obummer stated that, “The goal here is not to go after Mr. Putin, personally. The goal is to change his calculus with how the current actions he’s engaging in in Ukraine could have an adverse impact on the Russian economy.”

Oh gosh. Could these sanctions against Russia possibly have an impact on OUR economy?

Or Europe?

Well, damn straight!

That is why these sanctions don’t apply to Gazprom. Gazprom is a major Russian energy consortium and provides natural gas to Ukraine and much of Europe. The question becomes will Europeans be willing to pay twice the price for natural gas this winter in order to allow the United States to attempt to pressure Russia and be the big boy on the block?

That is why the U.S. has left Gazprom alone for now but if and when Obummer attempts to up the ante with sanctions against Gazprom that is when China and others will be happy to take as much of that natural gas that Russia can supply.

And if and when this showdown occurs Russia is already planning how to survive economic sanctions: how to sell its goods in rubles. People will buy because Russia is too big of a producer to ignore.

And China and Russia could easily form a real non-dollar bloc dealing in Yuan or rubles and this will affect the worlds economies. No longer will the dollar hold as significant of a position.

Now Tubularsock has trouble balancing his own Bunker-Check-Book so there is no pretense that Tubularsock is the last word on explaining the world’s economic issues but when Tube figured Vlad may need a short-term loan we penned an agreement.

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To be sure, Tubularsock’s bunker will be warm this winter ……. it pays to think ahead!

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Tubularsock was busy today, in my top floor corner office in my underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA, kicking extra gold doubloons on the floor to the stack under my desk.

After-all it is Wednesday. 

And what do you know. It just happened that last week acting Ukrainian Prime Minister Arseny Yatsenyuk ordered 33 tonnes of Ukrainian gold to be transferred to the United States so it could be safe.

Boy, Tubularsock feels better already!

You remember Arseny, right? He’s the Prime Minister that the United States picked to run the NEW government of Ukraine.

Counter that with Crimea taking A VOTE of the people  to see what direction they wanted to go in forming a new government. Those sneaky Russians!

Now this transfer has been reported in the Ukrainian press but it seems that the National Bank of Ukraine, the Ukrainian Embassy in DC and the Ukrainian mission to the UN in NYC all seem not to know. 

ARSENY AND TUBE JUST MOVING SOME GOLD, WHY DO YOU ASK?

ARSENY AND TUBE:
“JUST MOVING SOME GOLD,
WHY DO YOU ASK?”

When the U.S. State Department was ask they referred all gold transfer questions to the Federal Reserve of New York and they are so secretive about their gold storage and trading activities that they won’t say. And what does that say about power when the United States State Department has to defer to the Central Bankers. Hmmm.

But those who seem to know the Fed’s banking practices feel that the Ukrainian gold has been delivered safely to vaults in China under U.S./UK bullion bank contractual delivery obligations, where it will be locked away for centuries.

The Ukraine sovereign wealth transfer will be counted as partial “collateral” for a fresh round of International Monetary Fund, United States Federal Reserve and European Central Bank paper debt that is currently being organized for dumping into the Ukraine.

Once their gold is gone and replaced with interest debt Ukraine will be placed on that austerity program that Central Banks love so much which means debt slavery is their future FOR- EVER!

Next, corporate takeover of the “natural resources” and all Ukrainians will start to enjoy their new lives under the Neo-Nazis government picked by the United States FOR THE PEOPLE. Hey, didn’t you know …….. that’s how American Democracy works.

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