Archive for the ‘Bull Shit’ Category

 

LET’S WAR SOME MORE!

Well thank the Gods that THAT’S OVER!

Another 9/11 has hit the history dust bin again and we are still in the dark over just which Saudi and Carlyle Group investment scheme helped to do it.

 

But hell that is water under the bridge so really who cares anyway. Everybody is dead and buried and what in the fuck do they want, they all got a gillion dollar memorial and tourist book store!

We’ve got bigger fish to fry!

And by golly we’ll poke somebody with a stick hard enough to have them attack say like a rowboat floating next to the USS BULLSHIT and we’ll have that UNIFYING WAR each president starts to rally the citizen behind the president. NO MATTER HOW FUCKING STUPID HE HAPPENS TO BE!

And before you anal retentive Trumpites get all pushed out of shape over the above sentence, well it refers to Baby Shrub and the gaggle of assholes that occupied his administration.

Not that Orange Tweet isn’t attempting to corner the market on “STUPID” but Shrub beat him to it on this subject.

And it is true that once the “General” took over as “Chief of Staff” Orange Tweet is learning to bend over for the neocons so ALL IS GOOD in dip-shit-land.

So will it be North Korea? Russia? China? Nope, everyone is tried of hearing about them already. Boring!

 

 

No we have to have another Grenada! You remember 1983 and the proposed THREAT TO THE UNITED STATES by the Caribbean Island of Grenada, right?

Parkinson-riddled-brain-dead-Ronald-Reagan sent in 10,000 American troops to protect the U.S. against several hundred lightly armed policemen and Cuban construction workers.

The U.S. military lost 19 and incurred 116 injuries during the eight day “war” but peace came at last and Paul Scoon was reinstated as the Governor-General of Grenada who represented the monarch, Queen Elizabeth II.

And of course the American public supported the invasion even though it was a flagrant violation of international law. Because the United States is a government of laws not of men. Or so the story is told. Go figure that out.

BUT WE WON! And this was our “brave?” military’s first operation conducted after our Grand War with Vietnam which we LOST at pretty much ever criteria one could list.
So you can see how important the War With Grenada (WWG) was then. We really are winners, no really we are, and our military will kill unarmed men, women and children in any number to prove it!

So presently we have an entire 5 sided building filled with dedicated workers finding just the “right” place to attack next in the name of freedom.

Hell we need a win!

 

 

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A TUBULARSOCK EXCLUSIVE:
NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

Ok as usual, Tubularsock has an insider’s perspective into the current administration being that as Secretary of the Deplorables Tubularsock is on the “right” side of the right government policies of The Super-Bigly Great Orange One!

Rumor has it that Tubularsock has positioned himself in the current West Wing of the White House in the boiler-room where he has control of the heating and cooling of the building. Being the ONLY member of the current administration that knows the secret codes for the indoor environment of the White House puts Tubularsock in an enviable power position.

So when it was reviled by the New York Signs, a hostile progressive publication, that the
Secretary of the Deplorables had been subpoenaed by Robert Mueller much anticipation was anticipated. And as that anticipated anticipation grew the left-stream-press concluded that Russia was involved!

 

As Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news”, a non-biased news outlet has reported through an official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to speak to the media, that Russia may have a relationship with the Secretary of the Deplorables but this was denied by the administration.

However it was noted by a former Secret Service agent who did not wish to be identified that some ties with the Russian Government may be true. Some documentation was procured from this individual as seen below.

 

“I hasten to point out that in no sense do I claim the ideas I am submitting are a real thing. They constitute a theory, not a thesis”, stated the former Secret Service agent.

But an American official familiar with the talks with Mueller, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly stated, “some pictures are really worth a thousand words”.

Yet the investigation conducted by the sharp-eyed-reporters from Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news”, a non-biased news outlet has produced an actual photograph that may add some light to the Trump-Tube Russian connection.

 

Now sure Felix Sater has Russian connections! Hell, he’s Russian!

When asked, Tubularsock, Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, stated, “Felix Sater is a Russian-American gangster of the old school. You know, a classical American tradition type Eliot Ness gangster. It is this solid American criminal tradition that our President believes in …… make  America Great again!”

Felix Sater has deep financial connections to Trump and to Russia. Felix Sater has been a friend of Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen since childhood, and is an important Trump business partner who worked out of Trump Tower.

But funny, when Donald was asked about his connections with Felix, Trump said, “I’m not that familiar with him.”

Which would be expected for Trump to say especially after his associate Felix Sater, described his ambitions in emails to Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen.

In those emails Sater states, “Our boy can become president of the USA and we can engineer it. I will get all of Putins team to buy in on this, I will manage this process.” (New York Times … for real!)

So we all have, so far, three possible Russian connections with Trump.

The first is the meeting in Trump Tower between Russian agents and Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner.

The second connection is the attempt by Republican operative Peter W. Smith to obtain Hillary Clinton’s emails through Russian hackers. According to The Wall Street Journal “Robert Mueller is investigating Michael Flynn’s connection to this operation”.

And the third connection is Felix Sater.

Looks like a full plate.

 

But in truth the Russian connection is there but it is mostly bullshit. The real deal is going to be the evidence that is being collected on financial crimes, including potential money laundering that is where Donald and his family are going to go down!

 

 

 

TRUMP’S SHEETS ARE SHOWING

Damn, WHAT A TOAD! Tubularsock blames Alzheimer-Reagan for the total failures of Trump! Seriously!

It was Bat Shit Crazy Reagan who was responsible for putting the mentally deranged out in the streets and making mental illness a criminal offense rather than a medical issue.

The jails filled up with mental patients because Alzheimer-Reagan wanted to cut back on government assistance to the mentally ill to save money.

And all these years later it has all come home again. The bat-shit-crazy Trump retards put Orange Tweet into power and now we have the office of President filled with Shit-For-Brains.

Hence, a man that can not tell the difference between a Nazi and normal human being.

It is really disgusting to listen to those who are attempting to put lip stick on the Pig Called Trump but hey it doesn’t seem to be working. Some Americans are actually awakening to what is happening.

And when even Corporate CEO’s see standing for Trump may be just too costly to their bottom line are bailing out only tells you just how powerful social-media has become.

And Tubularsock figures that it may cause Macy’s not have their White Sheet Sale this year to avoid the connection between the Nazi, the KKK and Trump-AmeriKKKa!

The smarter move is to push tie-dyed sheets to be on the safe side.

MAY THE SHEETS HIT THE TRUMP FAN!

 

 

 

SCARAMUCCI THE DOUCHE, FLUSHED!

The humor train is still racing down the tracks in Tweet’s White House. Removing Anthony Scaramucci, the ultimate douche-bag, because of his erratic speech patterns such as using “cock blocking” as a government tactic was so shocking EVEN to the pussy grabbing Commander of Sleaze!

“The president certainly felt that Anthony’s comments were inappropriate for a person in that position,” stated Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary.

Hot damn, that is got to be one of the most hypocritical statements so far in this administration. How funny can it get.

The crime is Anthony out Trumped Trump! THAT gets you fucking fired, dude!

Melania Trump and Ivanka were “disgusted” and “offended” by Scaramucci’s expletive-laden interview with the New Yorker Magazine. You know, being both plastic filled women and used to pussy grabbing just finds cock blocking something they have to do every time Orange-Tweet comes near them!

Melania even has gone as far as not even wanting to hold the hand that touches that part of Orange Tweets body. Now that shows good judgement!

 

But there will be more, so stay tuned for ************** the downfall of John Kelly as he ****************

“ENDS THE WHITE HOUSE CHAOS” episode 13.

See the Commander of Chaos chained to his chair just out of reach of the “tweet-machine”. It is called RADICAL INTERVENTION!

Oh, has anyone noticed that the Pentagon is setting up to hit North Korea? Hell folks, it is literally a tweet away form coming to pass. But look over here, as Garfunkel and Oates sings,  “This Party Took a Turn for the Douche”!

 

TRUMP NON-FAKEISH NEWS

Now who can you trust with your news information in today’s ALTURNUT news?

Well there is ONLY ONE clears source!

Why not go to the BOTTOM OF THE BARREL where all news ends up in a brine of truth that ONLY the Tubularsock Unbiased News Service can interpret for you.

Join all the other lost news junkie souls and start Jonesing on the truth!

THIS IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OR ADVERTISEMENT FOR TUNS,LTD.

It is a testimonial of truth …….. hey, Trust Tubularsock …….. he’s deplorable!

TRUMPTASTIC

It is true that Tubularsock is sitting on his underground deck which is a stones throw from his top floor corner office in Tubularsock’s underground bunker overlook Washington D.C. from Oakland CA. (see Bunker Tour)

Tubularsock does much of his writing from this vantage-point and today is no exception.

So let’s wonder why it has TAKEN THREE YEARS to start to replace Flint, Michigan’s corroded water pipes.

Just in case you have forgotten, three years ago it was discovered that the city’s government, in order TO SAVE MONEY, switched water suppliers from Detroit to the Flint River.

But those same city government officials failed to treat the water with an anti-corrosive agent and by not doing so they proceeded to corrode the lead pipes and thereby poisoning the residents.

Which led to campaign slogans for the next election like, “Vote For Me You’ll Be Dead In A Week”! Ok, maybe not.

So for three years Flint has been drinking and cooking with bottled water. And then last summer scientists (none that lived in Flint) declared that the water was good enough for bathing and hand washing BUT NOT for consumption.

And then this March, Flint residents were expected to start paying the FULL COST for their water even if they can’t drink it! And to top that, 8000 residents are being held responsible FOR NOT PAYING FOR TOXIC WATER by having “tax-liens-for-unpaid-water-bills!

Now think about this. The State of Michigan has agreed (by court order) to put up $97 million to replace any lead or galvanized steel pipes for at least 18,000 homes. And to entitle citizens to have their water tested four times a year as well as access to free bottled water and filters.

It has taken three years and a court battle just to START to rectify this problem.

CAN YOU SAY INFRASTRUCTURE? Not if Orange Tweet doesn’t create jobs that save lives rather than kill people. Donnie has lost his way already just as Shrub and Obummer did before him. Rebuilding America is just economically impossible if over 60% of our borrowed money go to blow people up. INFRASTRUCTURE IMPROVEMENT WILL NOT HAPPEN!

BUT in the fiscal year of 2016 the U.S. Government spent $654.5 million on Hellfire Missiles alone. Which have all blown up so ………

And Every hour in 2016, taxpayers in United States paid $116,063 for Predator and Reaper Drones.

AND FOR WHAT? All the wars we have started are still going on so when Orange Tweet calls somebody a looser he may want to look at the State of the Nation he is supposed to be leading.

The ONLY comfort one can draw from all of this is Donnie is as stupid as the country he Tweets from. A guy that can’t even tweet correctly as “covfefe” now has proven.

Man! The fucker can’t even tweet correctly any more. Has anybody checked for lead pipes in the White House lately?

 

WON’T YOU HOLD MY HAND?

 

The amount of time spent on the Trump’s hands you’d think that the entire Middle Eastern trip was based on hand holding. Now Orange Tweet did damn near kiss the fucking Saudi king’s ass but who counts? Anyway, far be it for Tubularsock to get in the way of the maimed-stream-media’s news flow of worthless shit. Only because it is just too fun!

They kept Orange Tweet on a short leash and he read all the words he was given so we can all agree that he was SO PRESIDENTIAL.

As long as he stays in puppet mode all will be “handled”. See, the Deep State is benevolent.