Archive for the ‘Senate Intelligence Committee’ Category

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Have you ever wondered why the New York Times is unable to spell out FUCK in their newspaper that is supposed to be an historical record. Or SHIT and CUNT. How about NIGGER?

But if Tubularsock says as they do on TV and in news articles the N-word or the F-word or the S-word or even the C-word you know exactly what it means. Don’t you!

So what is the difference?

But Tubularsock does have to admit that using Ka-Ka for Shit is just repulsive!

But more importantly …………

What does this say about our society that these words as well as pictures of penises and breasts are taboo but ramming a broom stick up some guys rectum or putting electricity to his pee-pee or slamming him against the wall until he’s unconscious or water-boarding him to the point of drowning is acceptable.

Oh, you think it’s not?

If a CNN commentator says FUCK on TV the network could be fined a 100 thousand dollars by the FCC.

But if a CIA agent or a member of United States Military does any of the above torture techniques they OR THEIR superiors are not taken to jail. Not even fined.

If FUCK is worth a 100 thousand dollars ………..

Just what should ramming a broom stick up some guys rectum be worth?

Do you remember at the height of the Iraq War those who lost a son as collateral damage was paid $2000.00 for compensation for the loss. The same price the United States government paid for the loss of a Toyota Pickup. Sweet.

And even the term COLLATERAL damage ……. think about that. COLLATERAL as worth of a human life? …… COLLATERAL?

You see in a capitalist society everything is based on its “worth” in dollars and cents.

That’s the way we roll.

Take some time to read what the CIA agents and American Military Personnel did to prisoners under the Bush-Cheney Administration and then tell me just how horrid have we become as a society?

Why haven’t the collective WE not demanded that everyone involved in this travesty of inhuman barbarism been taken to trial for CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!

What is stopping us? What is stopping you?

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Well, assassinating Martin Luther King, assassinating Malcolm X, assassinating the Kennedy’s what happened? Nothing!

Burning down LA, breaking up Berkeley, tearing the fabric of Chicago in ’68 …….. Those actions scared the power structure.

The difference between the two? The assassinations were done BY the power structure, the civil disorder was done by THE PEOPLE.

That is what is so scary.

We once again are at a time that the power structure has to be scared.

THE TIME IS NOW!

POWER TO THE PEOPLE AND BURN BABY BURN still have a nice ring to them!

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WINNING HEARTS

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Ever wonder what a “moderate-extremist” could be?

Now Tubularsock, knows what ‘moderate” means.

And Tubularsock knows what “extremist” means.

And Tubularsock knows what “give me a break!” means.

Really?  A “moderate-extremist”.

Now, that has to be one fucked up person!

Do you think that a “moderate-extremist” would be the one to cut off only three-quarters  of your head?

Do you think that a “moderate-extremist” only massacres half of a village?

Do you think that a “moderate-extremist” is ONLY a moderate so he can get more weapons and be able to sell them to the EXTREMISTS for a profit?

That is called (in economic terms) the Middle-Man.

You see Congress loves the free enterprise system. So they voted for the middle man and why not?  Congress plays to the middle for votes and then returns to the self-serving people they are. NO party excepted!

Now Tubularsock is not expecting any change in this “moderate-extremist” bull-shit but it is being brought to your attention as one of the many pearls of unexamined bull shit that is just sitting everywhere until you don’t even realize that it saturates your consciousness.

It’ is like “the jobless recovery” and “humanitarian-bombing” ………. sure ….

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Obama Con view

 

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From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

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From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

Lunch

The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

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That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

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However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

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Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

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Stolen

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Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

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(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

Mystery

 

 

 

footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

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Tubularsock was ask by the blog site Deconstructing Myths to contribute an article to their Mic check guest blogger series.

The opportunity is simple: To open information up to a broader audience than Tubularsock presently has and to present that information within a forum of enlightened and creative people .

 Deconstructing Myths is the creation of Jeff Nguyen, a multi-talented  fellow with the stated goal of  “. . . shed[ing] light on some of the important issues of our time.” And to find “collective solutions” to the problems found in our world today.

But the largest focus of Jeff’s work to is “. . . to deconstruct the myths many of us have been raised on through the powerful influence of the media and teachings of the dominant culture.”

That works for Tubularsock!

 

So the bottom line is simple …………. to read this Tubularsock blog post you too will have to travel to:          http://deconstructingmyths.com/

 

And I want to thank Jeff for this great opportunity ………… I am sure all of you will agree, “Tubularsock needs all the help he can get!”

 

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Tomahawk Cash

YOU might not have noticed but while Tubularsock was overseeing his vast stock portfolio he noticed a very interesting development.

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Obomber speaks of attacking Syria and RAYTHEON’s stock goes up reaching a 52-week high at $81.26 per share. 

Now for you hoi polloi ,your ability to grasp this development, more than likely, passed over your heads but for Tubularsock and the capitalist class this was great news.

Tubularsock cashed in buying low and selling high. Using this new found wealth to invest in body-bag sales. There is going to be a killing to be made in this market, yes pun intended.

LET ME EXPLAIN IN SIMPLE TERMS:

Obomber announces attacking Syria.

RAYTHEON’s stock jumps up.

Tomahawk Missiles are made by RAYTHEON.

 

A Tomahawk Missile cost $1,000,000.00 each.

 

Once they blow up you need another one.

 

More than 2,000 have be fired in combat over the years.

 

Once they blow up you need another one.

 

Most American warships are equipped with 90 of them.

 

Once they blow up you need another one.

 

There are four U.S. warships set to fire these missiles at Syria.

 

Once they blow up you need another one.

 

There is BIG profit to me made by RAYTHEON here.

 

WHY?

 

ONCE THEY BLOW UP YOU NEED ANOTHER ONE!

But there’s more.

The Pentagon buys 196 Tomahawk missiles a year. That is what is considered the “minimum sustaining rate” but after firing hundreds of them on Libya in 2011, well gosh we have had to ramp up production.

Now accounting for the extra orders, RAYTHEON delivered 252 missiles this fiscal year and 361 last fiscal year. But one can’t have enough because Tubularsock has read some place that “once you blow them up you need another one”.

“In its budget submission for fiscal 2013, the White House requested 196 Tomahawks, for a total program cost of $320 million. It’s requesting the same amount next fiscal year, for a cost of $325 million. The increase in price, defense watchers say, is the result of several factors: inflation, rising fuel costs and a shrinking supply chain.”  (Austin Wright, Politico)

But when you factor in the “total program cost” a Tomahawk Missile costs $1,658,163.26. Think about that …..

every time the Navy presses a button ……..

 

BOOM $1,658,163.26 goes up …… and we need another one.

A Tomahawk Missile has “advanced contour mapping” so they can fly low and avoid ground radar. They have a range of up to 1,300 nautical miles. They travel at more than 500 miles an hour. And they can hover over their targets for hours providing a real-time view of the battlefield.

They deliver a 1,000 pound warhead that can devastate half an urban block and can hit a target the size of a home’s window.

 

THEY HAVE AN 85% DIRECT HIT RATE.

Are you impressed yet?

Well Tubularsock has come up with a couple of thoughts here.

Ahhh ……… 15% of the time they don’t have a direct hit so how many urban blocks are wiped out by hitting the WRONG home’s window?

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I guess it’s not much. You know how ALL urban blocks look pretty much the same.

But to be fair Raytheon was not the only defense contractor who saw their stock price go up during the buildup for a potential strike. Boeing, General Dynamics and Lockheed Martin — all missile system manufacturers — all saw sharp gains.

And can you believe that those homeless people Tubularsock has to set over ever time I walk down a city block have the nerve to ask for money to eat! The nerve of some people!

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