Archive for the ‘THERAPY’ Category

A KAVANAUGH EXCUSE

 

Well GOD DAMN.

Tubularsock figures that Brett needs ALL the excuses he can get.

Seldom will the political class accept that they may actually be responsible for their own actions.

There is always somebody else to blame!

So as a PUBLIC SERVICE, Tubularsock is offering up this perfect holy idea for Brett to use.

We know that Brett or is it Brat, same difference Tubularsock suspects, has an agenda and won’t be a true legal champion of justice. But who counts anyway.

If the guy drinks booze as much as he drank water at the hearing we may not have to worry about his legal opinions because the fucker will be under the bench most of the time.

And with that even temperament and limited lack of control Kavanaugh displayed he’ll be a perfect example of white privilege shinning right out there in front for all to see.

We already have a black sex pervert on the Supreme Court so why not have a white one.

Another example of American fairness.

And last but not least is that if Brett Kavanaugh is appointed to the Supreme Court of the United States of America then the last of the Three Branches of the Government will truly represent the intellectual and cultural level of Walmart America.

Hell, Tubularsock wants to be in the front of the line for the fall sales!

 

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BEHOLD THE VIRGIN KAVANAUGH!

 

Oh saints be praised, HE HAS RISEN!

Or rather ………. Maybe Brett just couldn’t GET IT UP unless he was blind drunk and obnoxious.

Well how can we tell, America?

EASY!

Now let’s not get all carried away with all these accusations and look at Brett full frontal!

Do you remember when your mother told you that you should be careful of the friends you hang out with?

They could put you in a bad light or influence you in an adverse way. REMEMBER?

Well if you have attacked a woman and attempted to rape her and then allowed your integrity to be defended by a man KNOWN FOR GRABBING PUSSY, well what type of character witness is THAT to be defending you?

And then your second accuser says that YOU, Brett Kavanaugh, shoved your penis in her face.

And President PUSSY GRABER’S response: “Oh gee, let’s not make him a Supreme Court justice because of this?”

Now you see how correct your mother was, Brett.

But it really isn’t about President Shit For Brains, now is it.

It is about YOU, Brett.

 

All that business about being a virgin with a deep respect for women is a very, very, VERY weak defense. In fact, that is more of a reason for you to get blind drunk and act out and maybe why you lost control! Virgin Vengeance, perhaps.

Brett’s former roommate reports that Brett Kavanaugh spent his time at drunken parties and ran with a hard-drinking crowd. This pattern followed him from his high school days into college according to the facts that have been uncovered.

And because Brett Kavanaugh was so weak in moral character that when he Clerked for Judge Alex Kozinski he never noticed Kozinski’s pornographic tendencies and his sexual harassment tendencies which led to 15 women’s complaints that forced him into retirement. As Other clerks have called that culture, which ultimately forced Kozinski’s resignation, an open secret.

Kavanaugh clerked for Kozinski in 1991, they sat on panels together, and co-authored a book together and even helped Kozinski vet law clerks for Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.

And somehow with this close relationship Kavanaugh missed that Kozinski was a total creep?

Maybe Brett was just too busy masturbating his virgin-Catholic-dick to notice Kozinski antics. You know how Tort Cases turns one on!

And when asked by Senator Chris Coons about Kozinski’s inappropriate behavior, including his circulations of sexually explicit emails via his “Easy Rider Gag List”, Kavanaugh’s written and oral responses were vague, and skirted the senator’s direct inquiry.

As Elie Mystal wrote in her article in Above The Law,  “Who knows what kinds of sexual harassment issues Kavanaugh will have the opportunity to decide on over the next 30 years or so, whether the man can even recognize sexual harassment WHEN HE SEES IT is relevant.”

And now today a third woman has come out with more accusations for Brett to deny.

Julie Swetnick claims that, Kavanaugh and his best friend Mark Judge, who by the way has come out previously in defense of Kavanaugh, “. . . would attempt to ‘spike’ the ‘punch’ at house parties I attended with drugs and/or grain alcohol so as to cause girls to lose their inhibitions and their ability to say ‘No.”

Julie Swetnick further claims that Kavanaugh and Judge were present at a party where she had been “gang raped” by others but not by Brett and Mark. (as far as she knows)

But hell, Brett has come out in full denial of all the accusations and has put on his choirboy virginity stance and said,

“This is ridiculous and from the Twilight Zone. I don’t know who this is and this never happened.”

Have you noticed that Brett Kavanaugh is using the exact same tactic that the Grab-Your-Pussy-In-Chief uses.

No matter HOW OUTRAGEOUS the accusations are against them the answer is ALWAYS the same:

THIS NEVER HAPPENED! THIS NEVER HAPPENED! THIS NEVER HAPPENED!

And then they keep repeating it EVEN when all the evidence shows they are lying!

These two guys DO LIVE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

But if you took the time to listen to Kavanaugh’s answers given to the Senate Judiciary Committee you would have realized just how often he evaded questions which to an intelligent person would surely inspire doubts about his truthfulness before the misconduct allegations surfaced.

But it is not about integrity or intelligence or even character that the Republican’ts care about. It is about pushing their agenda ……… nothing more.

Get him in there before the midterm election no matter what! Not good governance if you ask Tubularsock but it is the way the system works and it is the major reason why it doesn’t!

 

 

 

 

KOREAN CRIP ALLOWED INTO TRUMP COUNTRY?

 

If you hadn’t noticed a crippled Korean was allowed into the State of the Union address even though he was a former NORTH KOREAN.

Tubularsock thought we had a WALL to protect us from the “evils” of North Korea!

Come to find out the entire Congress are in favor of North Korean cripples. Or at least it appeared that way with all of them standing up and applauding. Damn!

Now don’t you worry ……. it wasn’t real, it was a sympathetic ploy for war and we ALL can stand united for that! Right?

It is just part of the old “North Korea is so brutal to THEIR OWN CITIZENS” that WE (AMERICA) must “protect” Koreans by bombing them back to the stone age in order to save them from their own evil government.

In a lot of ways it is Trump’s new campaign:

“MAKE MORE KOREANS CRIPPLED AGAIN”.

(Oh sure, Tubularsock has made hats!)

But this isn’t even that creative. It’s the old Iraq weapons of mass distraction ploy. Will Americans be fooled again ….. SO SOON?

Because the words have already been used pushing exactly the same bull shit. It is just OrangeFuck mouthing them.

Flash back to DumbFuckShrub, remember how Shrub explained that the Saddam Hussein regime “. . . ha(d) already used poison gas to murder thousands of its own citizens . . .”? (Of course after the Reagan Administration sold them the chemicals, you know for “farm” use.)

You see, this kind of imagery is the stepping stones to preparing the American citizens for another WAR to save humanity.

After all, we have to attack them there rather than have them right here in OUR HOMELAND!

 

Remember how this works?

But really, it’s too late!

“OUR”(?) President has already LET IN a North Korean Crip! They are already here!

But as President Dump put it, “North Korea’s reckless pursuit of nuclear missiles could very soon threaten our homeland . . .” He left out the classic line “in the shape of a mushroom cloud” that the Shrub Team used so effectively. Too bad.

And those North Koreans have AT LEAST one or two nukes compared to the U.S. nuclear arsenal which if placed end to end would reach to Mars and back BUT IT IS those North Koreans that are dangerous!

Hell somebody might REALLY USE THEM on civilians!

Oh, yeah ……. we already have …….. twice!

So why is Tubularsock supposed to be scared again?

Well, there IS A REASON TO BE SCARED …………………

President OrangeTweet picked Dr. Victor Cha for nomination as the U.S. Ambassador to South Korea.

Cha was vetted and has been approved by South Korea as well. Cha is a very capable and knowledgeable choice to be Ambassador and as American Ambassadors go maybe overqualified if there is such a thing.

So for OrangeTweet to pick him was a surprise to Tubularsock.

BUT as the world turns …….. a few days ago Cha was pulled from the list by the Trump Administration.

WHY? Sure you asked!

Because in private Dr. Victor Cha expressed concerns about a military strike approach to North Korea!

Well good bye, Victor!

It appears that the Trump Administration believes that a “bloody nose” strategy on North Korea is all that it will take to keep North Korea in line.

And the “bloody nose” strategy goes like this:

If in the future North Korea does a missile test or other provocative act the American response would be a carefully targeted attack on a North Korean military facility. But this is exactly why North Korea wants nuclear weapons! North Korea doesn’t want to be Syria or Iraq where the U.S. can bomb anytime it gets upset!. No, with nuclear weapons …….. the warmongering Americans have to think twice.

HAVING nuclear weapons keeps from being attacked at the whim of the U.S.! What is so difficult to understand here?

Now if one reverses this Trump-esque insanity:

If the U.S. happened to do something that North Korea took as a provocative act and North Korea responded by “carefully targeting” a U.S. ship to show their disapproval, just what do you think the U.S.response would be?

Yep!

So, how can it be assumed that an irrational Kim Jong-un, as he is portrayed, would take it all in stride and not assume that this “selected rational limited attack” wasn’t a full out attack and in response start a war that kills hundreds of thousands of North and South Korean civilians and large numbers of US troops in a matter of hours?

AND THE ENVELOPE PLEASE ……………….

BOOOOOOOOM!

 

THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

Learning,  you have to do on your own!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PENIS WAVING: AMERICA’S PASTIME!

Tubularsock has been scraping around in the gutter of American sexual predators not because many men in power and many men with no power can be found there but more importantly ……. WHAT IS NEW?

This entire avalanche of the sexual predator exposé is pretty sick and sad. But it has answered three questions for Tubularsock about America.

First and foremost is a question that Tubularsock has asked himself many times.

Why is it that with 365 days a year and 24 hours in each of those days and a staff of three aides or more can’t a Senator or Representative READ THE BILLS he/she signs into law?

Case in point: The new TAX OVERHAUL bill is over 500 “government pages” long. “Government Pages” is a code phrase Tubularsock uses and it means 2/3rds of those pages are fluff-bull-shit and 1/3rd of those pages are refined bull shit.

To read those pages BEFORE you sign the bill, you’d think, would be the job of a Senator or Representative, RIGHT?

Well no. It appears that one’s reading time is reduced by 85% if the Senator’s or Representative’s entire concentration is focused on master-bating on their secretary’s desk in front of her or grabbing her tit!

See how quickly priorities change under these Congressional circumstances?

SO NOW TUBULARSOCK UNDERSTANDS WHY OUR LAWMAKERS ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB WE ELECTED THEM TO DO!

And the ones that aren’t doing the “doing” are gossiping about it and with everyone knowing, where is this outrage and surprise coming from anyway?

And then add to it THE PUBLIC already knows as well. So why this outrage? We have ALWAYS known.

 

The second question answered for Tubularsock is why in general do European films have so much more depth than American films. And the reason is that European films depict actual human relations while American films tend to express the fantasy of the constant hard-on and then the constant “explosions” as the sign of “manhood” and hero worship.

The Hollywood directors, actors, and producers start to believe their own hype from these shallow movies and believe THEY ARE THE MANHOOD HERO. Fantasy gone mad.

And then the third question answered.

This is no surprise at all really but just substantiates Tubularsock’s suspicion.
The TV anchor. What an empty job to sit through day after day after day, spewing master bated endless bull shit written by others that you repeat with “honesty” and “warmth” calling yourself a journalist!

Talking about a reason to look for something to do “for real”!

Even if you start out with some integrity it isn’t long before when the little red light goes off you’ll repeat whatever they put on the teleprompter. Even if you know it is lies.

When you sell your soul why not “grab some pussy on the side”!

After all, the President of the United States swears by it even if the First Pussy won’t hold his hand!

FOR FURTHER READING MAY TUBULARSOCK SUGGEST:

1.Tubularsock’s Guide To Sexual Harassment “a hands on guide to hands off, the do’s and don’t s”.

2. Tubularsock’s New York Bestseller, Getting Close To The Children, “the priest’s guide to fondling the flock.”

3. And don’t miss, Fucking Around The Mall co-written by Tubularsock and Want Moore.

And then it is advised that you take The Tubularsock Workshop on Old Enough To Bleed, Old Enough To Slaughter an Alabama Evangelical Christian teaching of NOT sparing “the rod” with 14 year old girls, amen.

 

SCARAMUCCI THE DOUCHE, FLUSHED!

The humor train is still racing down the tracks in Tweet’s White House. Removing Anthony Scaramucci, the ultimate douche-bag, because of his erratic speech patterns such as using “cock blocking” as a government tactic was so shocking EVEN to the pussy grabbing Commander of Sleaze!

“The president certainly felt that Anthony’s comments were inappropriate for a person in that position,” stated Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary.

Hot damn, that is got to be one of the most hypocritical statements so far in this administration. How funny can it get.

The crime is Anthony out Trumped Trump! THAT gets you fucking fired, dude!

Melania Trump and Ivanka were “disgusted” and “offended” by Scaramucci’s expletive-laden interview with the New Yorker Magazine. You know, being both plastic filled women and used to pussy grabbing just finds cock blocking something they have to do every time Orange-Tweet comes near them!

Melania even has gone as far as not even wanting to hold the hand that touches that part of Orange Tweets body. Now that shows good judgement!

 

But there will be more, so stay tuned for ************** the downfall of John Kelly as he ****************

“ENDS THE WHITE HOUSE CHAOS” episode 13.

See the Commander of Chaos chained to his chair just out of reach of the “tweet-machine”. It is called RADICAL INTERVENTION!

Oh, has anyone noticed that the Pentagon is setting up to hit North Korea? Hell folks, it is literally a tweet away form coming to pass. But look over here, as Garfunkel and Oates sings,  “This Party Took a Turn for the Douche”!