Archive for the ‘Mike Pence’ Category

DEATH CULT AMERICA

 

Well “Mad dog Mattis”, our beloved Secretary of Defense, has admitted that the 80 plus living people who are dead now after President Dump bomb the Syrian Airbase with Tomahawk missiles in 2017 didn’t have to die.

Mattis, admits that THERE IS NO EVIDENCE ASSAD USED SARIN GAS ON HIS OWN PEOPLE IN 2013 OR IN 2017!

Remember that entire thing about Obomber’s “red line in the sand” and the criticism he received because HE DIDN’T bomb Syria for the gas attack in 2013. He didn’t have clear evidence that Assad really used sarin gas. And then later it was shown that “our” terrorists were the ones that used it.

So Obomber not retaliating was due to lack of clear evidence. And rather than blunder with death and destruction he stepped back.

However LittleLimpDickTrump RUSHED to bomb the Syrian Airbase and kill 80 plus people with no clear evidence that the Assad Government had done it. His action was ONLY because he wanted to ACT LIKE he had a large dick. Ask Stormy, he doesn’t!

No surprise there.

But “Mad dog” didn’t bother to explain how the United States was going to bring those 80 plus people back from the dead. Well, in truth he never really thought about the people.

He only admitted that the U.S. had no proof that Assad was involved.

Tubularsock is surprised that we didn’t rush off and bomb Afghanistan like Bush did after 9/11.

You see, The U.S. has to bomb somebody! It’s the MANLY thing to do.

That is what the presstitutes and the establish power structure calls “Presidential”!

And as “Mad dog Mattis has said, “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”

He is definitely a creepy little old limp prick!

 

But it is a systematic problem for the United States. We are a killing culture and it is condoned by the President and Congress.

AND the citizens of the U.S as well.

But the citizens of the U.S. don’t really care much if we kill random men, women, and children in those foreign countries because they somehow find themselves on the battlefield called THEIR COUNTRY and get themselves killed.

And it is agreed that America is in THEIR COUNTRY to save them from THEIR COUNTRY!

And the fact that they get dead by the United States because we are there to save them ……….

WELL …… that is their fault

But then WE have ANOTHER school shooting and the American citizen gets, well you know, all emotional and they feel something should be done.

But the President and Congress NEVER wants to face the gun issue because EVERYONE is just too emotional to clearly decide ANYTHING about guns at this point in the latest crisis.

 

Let step back and support and send our prayers and face this crisis when the emotions calm down.

WELL THE PROBLEM WITH THIS is when will our emotional free period show up.

There have been 17 school shootings this year alone and we are only in mid-February!

………………………………………

But rest assured that the gun issue CAN’T BE DEALT WITH BY CONGRESS AND THE PRESIDENT!

WHY?

Oh my, you still don’t know? Shame on you.

The gun issue can not be changed until we change THE SHOW!

And what’s the show that runs Congress and the President into INACTION?

 

 

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DENCEPENCE “TOOK A BUTT” AT OLYMPIC’S OPENING

Well it was bound to happen our dear fumble bumble Vice President DencePence in protest at the opening of the Winter Olympic Games in South Korea “took a butt” rather than a knee to protest. And HE’S a very white guy!

And really after all that sturm and drang about the NLF players with that knee thing and here is DencePence “taking a butt” to protest at a sports event.

And sure, it takes an ass to “take a butt”. No question!

 

Wouldn’t it be just great if some South Korean Olympic owner would stand up and say, “you are fired you son of a bitch”!

But that won’t happen because Koreans are a polite people and a public outburst of that nature would ONLY be acted out by a “round-eyed barbarian”. Proper decorum is still practiced in Asia.

You see at the opening of the Olympic Games both the South and North Koreans entered the proceedings together. You know, as Koreans.

But for DencePence that was NOT ACCEPTABLE because he represents a two Korean world. And HE’S a very white guy!

So in PROTEST he “took a butt” and didn’t stand as others did out of respect for the teams.

“At the opening ceremonies on Friday, Pence sat stone-faced in his seat as Moon and North Korean officials stood together with much of the stadium to applaud their joint team of athletes. White House officials stressed that Pence had applauded only for the American team, but Asia experts said the vice president’s refusal to stand could be seen as disrespectful to the hosts.” (By ZEKE MILLER and MATTHEW PENNINGTON | Sat, February 10, 2018)

Now DencePence has been spending his time warning everyone that North Korea was attempting to, “hijack the message and imagery of the Olympic Games” and to promote dialogue between the North and South.

This dialogue, is “propaganda” from DencePense’s point of view. And we sure can’t have that, now can we?

And who is this WE?

Koreans or Americans.

SAME AMERICAN BULLSHIT, DIFFERENT DAY!

 

NORTH KOREA IS CORRECT!

Our Vice President DensePence is in South Korea at the Olympics and of course “mother” is at his side in order to protect him from sexually “acting out” with other women.

Of course DensePence DIDN’T shake hands with North Korea’s ceremonial head of state, Kim Yong Nam but greeted or shook hands with all the other dignitaries. Thank God for “mother”! Just touching an Asian woman may send DencePense into sexual fantasies for all we know.

But DensePence still got his hard-on anyway when he reiterated Washington’s insistence that denuclearization by North Korea is a necessary condition for peace. Talking about playing with yourself!

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH …………

The United States released the US Nuclear Posture Review.

Within this review it is stated that the United States has “legitimized the first use of nuclear weapons against any opponent”.

And is going to spend trillions of dollars acquiring more nuclear weapons even though
ten percent of the existing U.S. arsenal is sufficient to destroy all life on earth.

 

 

Now reread the stated position of the United States above and then tell Tubularsock, WOULD YOU, AS NORTH KOREA, DENUCLEARIZE?

Now you can see why North Korea wants THE BOMB?

It sure doesn’t take a Rhodes Scholar to figure out why this “denuclearization by North Korea” is not going to happen!

And why should it? IT IS THE ONLY PROTECTION IT’S GOT!

 

THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

Learning,  you have to do on your own!

 

PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

Translations of above statements:

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PRESENT AT THE CREATION

Tubularsock was sitting in his Corner Office In His Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. (see BUNKER TOUR for background) and pondering the absurd world we find ourselves.

But hey, what in the fuck would you expect if in each last election you had to vote for the “lessor of the two evils”!

 

 

It is just logical that in time you’d have to reach the bottom of the barrel, RIGHT?

And the real scary thing is that Orange Fuck and his deranged offspring and his third plastic wife may not be at the bottom.

Think about it! Makes WW3 look better already, doesn’t it!

 

 

So is there a way out?

So kick back and think of your options.

Sure Tubularsock has some options to suggest.

And remember these are only for fun, not real change.

 

 

First: We grab Pussy-Whipped-Session’s and give him a marijuana suppository to loosen up his dysfunctional brain and bring him into the 21st century!

Second: We remove the Christian Cross turned sideways from Pence’s ass to relieve the pressure on his brain as he waits for the second coming.

And Third ……. oh hell you come up with one! After all isn’t that what democracy is all about?

 

 

 

 

 

NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS … NFL

 

 

Editor note: Because “Tubularsock, ‘. . . first hand coverage, second hand news”’ has a distant relationship with the Secretary of The Deplorables, we wish to state here in order to be completely transparent to our readers that the Charm and Brilliance and Honesty and Fortitude of Tubularsock will not inhibit our coverage when dealing with his Critical and Powerful and Forthwith and Outstanding abilities in government service.

Rest assured no bias will be shown in reporting Tubularsock’s Incredible Abilities implementing his duties as Secretary of the Deplorables. Thank you.

 

Washington, D.C. — With little fanfare Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables was asked by President Trump to temporarily head up the Department of Crisis Management and streamline relief efforts on a multi-front multitasking multi-mission. (MFMTMM).

Before leaving via a low key helicopter from Washington, D.C. our lead reporter Bob was able to have a private news briefing with the Secretary.

 

“Reporter Bob can you hear me?”

“Yes Margret, I’m can.”

“How would you define the mood of this historic disaster trip being taken by the Secretary of The Deplorables, Reporter Bob?”

“Monumental, Margret. This is the second in a series of trips and here comes the Secretary now, Mr. Secretary,

Mr Secretary, Reporter Bob, TubeNews.”

 

Reporter Bob, TubeNews: “Mr. Secretary, Why is it that the President, at this time, has asked you to spearhead relief efforts after all his false starts and mismanagement?”

“Well Bob, President Trump and I were golfing during all of the separate disasters and our caddy César mentioned to us, I believe it was on the seventh or maybe the eighth hole, ahh, no it was the ninth hole while I was choosing an eight iron. Yes, on the ninth hole.

César, as he handed me the eight iron, asked if we were going to send help to his country Puerto Rico. There was some kind of a storm or something.

The President and I laughed and attempted to explain in English that we just can’t help ever foreign country! The President figured that with a name like César he couldn’t be a real American, maybe Roman or something like that.

We explained it very slowly because he was, after all, a foreign national. Mar a Largo hires many foreign laborers via a special work visa set up to help the poor and to provide inexpensive labor to maximize profits. You know, at room rates at $1300 a night even the Trump Family have to make ends meet.

César had thought Puerto Rico was part of the United States of America, poor little brown fellow.

A week or so later President Trump contacted me and gave me this appointment.”

Reporter Bob, TubeNews: “What was the very first crisis you were expected to attempt to deal with, Mr. Secretary?”

“Bob, as Secretary of the Deplorables and Special Director of Crisis Management my first priority was to immediately fly off to the nearest NFL football game with the top-flight-box-seat tickets the U.S Government provided along with my staff and my security detail and all my luggage to defend the flag of our great nation.”

Reporter Bob, TubeNews: “That was prior to this trip?”

“Yes this trip is to set up a forward access information office to oversee relief efforts.”

 

Reporter Bob, TubeNews: Can you fill in for the American public just a little bit about your heroic encounters from your first trip. You just returned last night.”

“Yes Bob, last evening.”

Reporter Bob, TubeNews: “Fill us in, Mr. Secretary.”

“Well as I left the Government provided helicopter and headed for the top-flight-box-seats with my staff and my security detail I realized we were under fire and I crouched down and crawled on my belly to defend our flag moving cautiously to the top-flight-box-seats. Remaining low in the bulletproof-glassed-in box I surveyed the situation.

And YES! As suspected some NLF players were “taking a knee”! I reeled back in complete and utter shock!”

Reporter Bob, TubeNews: “I guess that was all unexpected?”

“Really Bob, I had expected to perhaps engage in more enemy-flag-fire but what was unexpected was bumping into Karen and the Vice crawling out on their way to a campaign stop in LA. I attempted to get the Vice and “mother” to join me in the fight but of course they had the press waiting in the vans outside and didn’t want to inconvenience the press.

So I wished them a safe journey. They are such kind Christians, you know.

Bob, trust me here. When you are protecting the great flag of our great nation form the heights of the top-flight-box-seats of an NFL stadium within a bulletproof-glass-box a lot rushes into your mind. You have to be EVER VIGILANT and the very first thing that raced into my mind as I faced the enemy was, ‘oh say can I see’. By the time I settled down it was half time.”

Reporter Bob, TubeNews: “Well thank you Mr. Secretary for the opportunity to gain a bit more insight into the great sacrificial work you are doing for our country. There is one additional question if you don’t mind and that is that some are saying that the attack by the NFL cost U.S. citizens $200,000.00 of their tax dollars.”

“Yes! The Vice HAD TO fly from Las Vegas on Air Force Two to Indianapolis to crawl on his belly out of the free-fire top-flight-box-seats so as to fly to LA for a campaign speech the following day. And the cost per hour to fly Air Force Two is $42,936.00 BUT let me remind you and the American public, THAT IS THE PRICE OF FREEDOM.”

 

Thank you.”

“And THANK YOU Mr. Secretary, this has been Reporter Bob of TubeNews, reporting live-ish, now back to you Margret in the TubeNews Studio.”