Archive for the ‘Mike Pence’ Category

BEHOLD THE VIRGIN KAVANAUGH!

 

Oh saints be praised, HE HAS RISEN!

Or rather ………. Maybe Brett just couldn’t GET IT UP unless he was blind drunk and obnoxious.

Well how can we tell, America?

EASY!

Now let’s not get all carried away with all these accusations and look at Brett full frontal!

Do you remember when your mother told you that you should be careful of the friends you hang out with?

They could put you in a bad light or influence you in an adverse way. REMEMBER?

Well if you have attacked a woman and attempted to rape her and then allowed your integrity to be defended by a man KNOWN FOR GRABBING PUSSY, well what type of character witness is THAT to be defending you?

And then your second accuser says that YOU, Brett Kavanaugh, shoved your penis in her face.

And President PUSSY GRABER’S response: “Oh gee, let’s not make him a Supreme Court justice because of this?”

Now you see how correct your mother was, Brett.

But it really isn’t about President Shit For Brains, now is it.

It is about YOU, Brett.

 

All that business about being a virgin with a deep respect for women is a very, very, VERY weak defense. In fact, that is more of a reason for you to get blind drunk and act out and maybe why you lost control! Virgin Vengeance, perhaps.

Brett’s former roommate reports that Brett Kavanaugh spent his time at drunken parties and ran with a hard-drinking crowd. This pattern followed him from his high school days into college according to the facts that have been uncovered.

And because Brett Kavanaugh was so weak in moral character that when he Clerked for Judge Alex Kozinski he never noticed Kozinski’s pornographic tendencies and his sexual harassment tendencies which led to 15 women’s complaints that forced him into retirement. As Other clerks have called that culture, which ultimately forced Kozinski’s resignation, an open secret.

Kavanaugh clerked for Kozinski in 1991, they sat on panels together, and co-authored a book together and even helped Kozinski vet law clerks for Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.

And somehow with this close relationship Kavanaugh missed that Kozinski was a total creep?

Maybe Brett was just too busy masturbating his virgin-Catholic-dick to notice Kozinski antics. You know how Tort Cases turns one on!

And when asked by Senator Chris Coons about Kozinski’s inappropriate behavior, including his circulations of sexually explicit emails via his “Easy Rider Gag List”, Kavanaugh’s written and oral responses were vague, and skirted the senator’s direct inquiry.

As Elie Mystal wrote in her article in Above The Law,  “Who knows what kinds of sexual harassment issues Kavanaugh will have the opportunity to decide on over the next 30 years or so, whether the man can even recognize sexual harassment WHEN HE SEES IT is relevant.”

And now today a third woman has come out with more accusations for Brett to deny.

Julie Swetnick claims that, Kavanaugh and his best friend Mark Judge, who by the way has come out previously in defense of Kavanaugh, “. . . would attempt to ‘spike’ the ‘punch’ at house parties I attended with drugs and/or grain alcohol so as to cause girls to lose their inhibitions and their ability to say ‘No.”

Julie Swetnick further claims that Kavanaugh and Judge were present at a party where she had been “gang raped” by others but not by Brett and Mark. (as far as she knows)

But hell, Brett has come out in full denial of all the accusations and has put on his choirboy virginity stance and said,

“This is ridiculous and from the Twilight Zone. I don’t know who this is and this never happened.”

Have you noticed that Brett Kavanaugh is using the exact same tactic that the Grab-Your-Pussy-In-Chief uses.

No matter HOW OUTRAGEOUS the accusations are against them the answer is ALWAYS the same:

THIS NEVER HAPPENED! THIS NEVER HAPPENED! THIS NEVER HAPPENED!

And then they keep repeating it EVEN when all the evidence shows they are lying!

These two guys DO LIVE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

But if you took the time to listen to Kavanaugh’s answers given to the Senate Judiciary Committee you would have realized just how often he evaded questions which to an intelligent person would surely inspire doubts about his truthfulness before the misconduct allegations surfaced.

But it is not about integrity or intelligence or even character that the Republican’ts care about. It is about pushing their agenda ……… nothing more.

Get him in there before the midterm election no matter what! Not good governance if you ask Tubularsock but it is the way the system works and it is the major reason why it doesn’t!

 

 

 

 

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DEATH CULT AMERICA

 

Well “Mad dog Mattis”, our beloved Secretary of Defense, has admitted that the 80 plus living people who are dead now after President Dump bomb the Syrian Airbase with Tomahawk missiles in 2017 didn’t have to die.

Mattis, admits that THERE IS NO EVIDENCE ASSAD USED SARIN GAS ON HIS OWN PEOPLE IN 2013 OR IN 2017!

Remember that entire thing about Obomber’s “red line in the sand” and the criticism he received because HE DIDN’T bomb Syria for the gas attack in 2013. He didn’t have clear evidence that Assad really used sarin gas. And then later it was shown that “our” terrorists were the ones that used it.

So Obomber not retaliating was due to lack of clear evidence. And rather than blunder with death and destruction he stepped back.

However LittleLimpDickTrump RUSHED to bomb the Syrian Airbase and kill 80 plus people with no clear evidence that the Assad Government had done it. His action was ONLY because he wanted to ACT LIKE he had a large dick. Ask Stormy, he doesn’t!

No surprise there.

But “Mad dog” didn’t bother to explain how the United States was going to bring those 80 plus people back from the dead. Well, in truth he never really thought about the people.

He only admitted that the U.S. had no proof that Assad was involved.

Tubularsock is surprised that we didn’t rush off and bomb Afghanistan like Bush did after 9/11.

You see, The U.S. has to bomb somebody! It’s the MANLY thing to do.

That is what the presstitutes and the establish power structure calls “Presidential”!

And as “Mad dog Mattis has said, “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”

He is definitely a creepy little old limp prick!

 

But it is a systematic problem for the United States. We are a killing culture and it is condoned by the President and Congress.

AND the citizens of the U.S as well.

But the citizens of the U.S. don’t really care much if we kill random men, women, and children in those foreign countries because they somehow find themselves on the battlefield called THEIR COUNTRY and get themselves killed.

And it is agreed that America is in THEIR COUNTRY to save them from THEIR COUNTRY!

And the fact that they get dead by the United States because we are there to save them ……….

WELL …… that is their fault

But then WE have ANOTHER school shooting and the American citizen gets, well you know, all emotional and they feel something should be done.

But the President and Congress NEVER wants to face the gun issue because EVERYONE is just too emotional to clearly decide ANYTHING about guns at this point in the latest crisis.

 

Let step back and support and send our prayers and face this crisis when the emotions calm down.

WELL THE PROBLEM WITH THIS is when will our emotional free period show up.

There have been 17 school shootings this year alone and we are only in mid-February!

………………………………………

But rest assured that the gun issue CAN’T BE DEALT WITH BY CONGRESS AND THE PRESIDENT!

WHY?

Oh my, you still don’t know? Shame on you.

The gun issue can not be changed until we change THE SHOW!

And what’s the show that runs Congress and the President into INACTION?

 

 

DENCEPENCE “TOOK A BUTT” AT OLYMPIC’S OPENING

Well it was bound to happen our dear fumble bumble Vice President DencePence in protest at the opening of the Winter Olympic Games in South Korea “took a butt” rather than a knee to protest. And HE’S a very white guy!

And really after all that sturm and drang about the NLF players with that knee thing and here is DencePence “taking a butt” to protest at a sports event.

And sure, it takes an ass to “take a butt”. No question!

 

Wouldn’t it be just great if some South Korean Olympic owner would stand up and say, “you are fired you son of a bitch”!

But that won’t happen because Koreans are a polite people and a public outburst of that nature would ONLY be acted out by a “round-eyed barbarian”. Proper decorum is still practiced in Asia.

You see at the opening of the Olympic Games both the South and North Koreans entered the proceedings together. You know, as Koreans.

But for DencePence that was NOT ACCEPTABLE because he represents a two Korean world. And HE’S a very white guy!

So in PROTEST he “took a butt” and didn’t stand as others did out of respect for the teams.

“At the opening ceremonies on Friday, Pence sat stone-faced in his seat as Moon and North Korean officials stood together with much of the stadium to applaud their joint team of athletes. White House officials stressed that Pence had applauded only for the American team, but Asia experts said the vice president’s refusal to stand could be seen as disrespectful to the hosts.” (By ZEKE MILLER and MATTHEW PENNINGTON | Sat, February 10, 2018)

Now DencePence has been spending his time warning everyone that North Korea was attempting to, “hijack the message and imagery of the Olympic Games” and to promote dialogue between the North and South.

This dialogue, is “propaganda” from DencePense’s point of view. And we sure can’t have that, now can we?

And who is this WE?

Koreans or Americans.

SAME AMERICAN BULLSHIT, DIFFERENT DAY!

 

NORTH KOREA IS CORRECT!

Our Vice President DensePence is in South Korea at the Olympics and of course “mother” is at his side in order to protect him from sexually “acting out” with other women.

Of course DensePence DIDN’T shake hands with North Korea’s ceremonial head of state, Kim Yong Nam but greeted or shook hands with all the other dignitaries. Thank God for “mother”! Just touching an Asian woman may send DencePense into sexual fantasies for all we know.

But DensePence still got his hard-on anyway when he reiterated Washington’s insistence that denuclearization by North Korea is a necessary condition for peace. Talking about playing with yourself!

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH …………

The United States released the US Nuclear Posture Review.

Within this review it is stated that the United States has “legitimized the first use of nuclear weapons against any opponent”.

And is going to spend trillions of dollars acquiring more nuclear weapons even though
ten percent of the existing U.S. arsenal is sufficient to destroy all life on earth.

 

 

Now reread the stated position of the United States above and then tell Tubularsock, WOULD YOU, AS NORTH KOREA, DENUCLEARIZE?

Now you can see why North Korea wants THE BOMB?

It sure doesn’t take a Rhodes Scholar to figure out why this “denuclearization by North Korea” is not going to happen!

And why should it? IT IS THE ONLY PROTECTION IT’S GOT!

 

THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

Learning,  you have to do on your own!

 

PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

Translations of above statements:

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PRESENT AT THE CREATION

Tubularsock was sitting in his Corner Office In His Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. (see BUNKER TOUR for background) and pondering the absurd world we find ourselves.

But hey, what in the fuck would you expect if in each last election you had to vote for the “lessor of the two evils”!

 

 

It is just logical that in time you’d have to reach the bottom of the barrel, RIGHT?

And the real scary thing is that Orange Fuck and his deranged offspring and his third plastic wife may not be at the bottom.

Think about it! Makes WW3 look better already, doesn’t it!

 

 

So is there a way out?

So kick back and think of your options.

Sure Tubularsock has some options to suggest.

And remember these are only for fun, not real change.

 

 

First: We grab Pussy-Whipped-Session’s and give him a marijuana suppository to loosen up his dysfunctional brain and bring him into the 21st century!

Second: We remove the Christian Cross turned sideways from Pence’s ass to relieve the pressure on his brain as he waits for the second coming.

And Third ……. oh hell you come up with one! After all isn’t that what democracy is all about?