Archive for the ‘CHRISTMAS’ Category

COVID RELIEF: TAKE TWO, CALL TUBULARSOCK IN THE MORNING!

 

Now here is the bottom line for you.

By this time in your life if you haven’t figured out that when it comes to self serving the one CON-STANT example is how BOTH the Democraps and the Republican’ts just ALWAYS protect themselves …… FIRST! And more often than not, seldom you.

Well, when it comes to helping you ……. “where will the money come from?”

And Tubularsock knows that none of our congress-people will miss a meal but many Americans’ will. And they REALLY want to help but ……… “where will the money come from?”

But whatever you do make sure you get your 4th Federal Tax Return installment mailed off before the January 15th deadline.

Ohhhh ………. That’s where they get the money …….. YOU!

Now with all the last-minute legislating over the coronavirus relief bill and with all the hand wringing over, “where will we get the money” there was just enough spare change to pass a $5 MILLION addition to the Office of Attending Physician which in essence DOUBLED their existing budget.

There wasn’t enough money for hazard pay for essential workers and emergency funding for local governments but really …… “where will we get the money?”

And fortunately they found the money for OWNERS OF RACEHORSES to get a tax break and a full expansion of tax deductions for business meals which of course working class people don’t really need anyway because they don’t have any money for food. Problem settled!

BUT we are going to get a $600 check which is something or at least Tubularsock has heard people say that. ARE THEY FUCKING STUPID?

And Tubularsock heard a Representative say out loud that the $600 will be a “bridge” until the next stimulus package. What planet does she reside? Tubularsock would gladly take the check and shove it up her fucking asshole with Tubularsock’s fist but knowing how Congress people are she’d like it! The Corporations do that regularly with their campaign contributions!

Oh, do you know what the Office of Attending Physician that Tubularsock mentioned above happens to be?

Well it has been described as “some of the country’s best and most efficient government-run health care”.

And who does it service with several physicians and nurses to provide on-call treatment?
CONGRESS! That’s who.

How CONvenient, don’t you think?

And this new funding is justified because of the new services needed to deal with the pandemic! AND we DO have money for that!

And to put an explanation point on this, this is the THIRD budget hike for the Office of Attending Physician. They hiked it in December 2019 ($3,868,000) and then again in March Congress appropriated an additional $400,000 under the CARES Act. And now an additional $5 MILLION!

So as Congress has been in a stalemate over the expansion of low-cost health care services for you THEY HAVE COVERED THEMSELVES!
And Tubularsock has a feeling that the majority of American citizens don’t even know this.
Great to have a free press owned “buy” the corporate interests that continually buys the Congress. Don’t you think?

 

 

 

AS OUR WORLD TURNS ENDING 2020

 

Well we are in the middle of it here in California. Tubularsock received an EMERGENCY TEXT on Tubularsock’s old flip phone with a screen the size of a postage stamp which read that Tubularsock was under an emergency stay at home order.

As you may recall Tubularsock lives on the top floor with a corner office in an underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. (see Bunker Tour).

Now we have been in this situation before and Tubularsock because Tubularsock is in the essential service of political blogging Tubularsock believes Tubularsock can do as he wishes and does.

But while free floating Tubularsock wears a mask which many have said that Tubularsock looks better with a mask than without and Tubularsock does an 8’ social distance because why not? Tubularsock doesn’t like people that much anyway.

Several friends chastise Tubularsock for believing in the mask and social distancing but Tubularsock seldom worries what others think of him with a very solid view of FUCK YOU to go along with it.

Now it is not that Tubularsock believes in these tactics but it is because Tubularsock has learned the hard way that if one believes one can poke a bear in the eye because it appears to be sleeping perhaps one should heed the advice and not do that.

The Corona is difficult enough to get along with why poke it?

And Tubularsock is a big believer of YOU doing what you wish just stay away from Tubularsock while you do it.

Alas, this diatribe ends with more pressing thoughts on Tubularsock’s mind. But using Tubularsock’s ability of the ancient cave dwellers pictographic abilities Tubularsock has created a small series of pictographs to summarize for non-readers current topics of interest.

And besides, it saves letters for use in later manuscripts where a larger variety of the alphabet can be used. Don’t thank Tubularsock yet.

CAN IT BE MORE CLEAR?

A CLEAR VOTING STRATEGY.

 

THE LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY.

ABOUT THE VOTE.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE.

STAY TUNED CHRISTMAS IS COMING.

 

 

 

 

ALTERNATIVE FACT REALITY SETS IN

Tubularsock is bored!

As Donald packs his bag and Comatose-Joe crawls up to the plate it is difficult not to fall asleep.

And WOW! What the MSM is calling diversity in the new/old administration looks pretty much like a corporate conglomerate to Tubularsock.

Somehow Tubularsock guesses that people are JUST NOT WOKE!

If you have Blacks and Browns and Whites and Yellows and Men and Woman and Trans and Bi and Multi and Confused with ALL THE SAME MIND SET; how is that any different than fat old white men at the helm?

Tubularsock would rather see a diversity of mind rather than exterior characteristics. However Tubularsock has taken notice that the Power Players seldom ever ask for Tubularsock’s thoughts on what they are doing.

Their loss ……….

The great news is that it will be GOING DOWN FROM HERE! And that is as positive as Tubularsock can be which is why if you set your hopes very low then you don’t have to fall as far when it all turns to shit. Positive right?

But enough philosophy. Let’s turn to HARD FACTS:

SHALL WE CONTINUE?

 

 

AND YES THERE IS CHRISTMAS JOY!

 

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, STAY SAFE! DICK CHENEY IS STILL OUT THERE.

 

HAVE A MELANIA CHRISTMAS, 2020

Well it is that time of year when most Americans rush out and kill a baby fir tree or if you are an urbanite, pick out a dead baby fir tree in the well lit dead baby fir tree cemetery temporally set up in the parking lot of your local mall.

After buying the dead baby fir tree you bring it home and decorate it with plastic shit from China and drape it in Chinese made strings of lights and proclaim Merry Christmas! FOR WHOM?

Aren’t fucking traditions fun? NO! They suck most of the time. And if you don’t think so, well then you are just WRONG!

Well that is according to Tubularsock anyway.

This year because of the economic depression this country is in, Tubularsock went off and got a part time job to help with Tubularsock construction of “homemade suicide vests for all occasions”. Yea, kind of a jazzy advertising jingle.

And of all things Tubularsock got a call from Stephanie Grisham, Melania’s, chief of staff, asking if Tubularsock would prepare The First Lady’s personal Christmas Card.

Well like everything dealing with a Trump, Tubularsock agreed and collected cash in advance (small unmarked bills). DONE DEAL!

For artistic inspiration Tubularsock went right to Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, tell-all book, Melania and Me.

It is the typical “tell-all-book” in that all an author has to do is copy ANY “tell-all-book” and just change the name of the protagonist. WELL DONE STEPHANIE!

Steph, like any good friend and comrade, secretly taped conversations she had with Melania so she could use the information as PROOF that the several conversations were as she later described in her tell-all-book. Sweet.

And as Melania stated in one of the conversations, “I’m working my ass off on Christmas stuff … Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decorations?”

 

But in this case it gave a more positive view of Melania Trump, in the eyes of Tubularsock, because on the Christmas issue Tubularsock and The First Lady stand together on their view of Christmas! DECK THE HALLS, MOTHERFUCKERS!”

 

 

 

 

CHRISTMAS VACATION IMPEACHMENT

Now, now just calm yourselves down.

With the entire fabricated framework of DEMOCRACY in the balance due to a totally corrupt and morally deficient President who is about to be tried in an Impeachment Trial by the United States Senate …….. also known as the upper legislative body ………

The Government is ON CHRISTMAS VACATION!

Yep, nothing spells IMPENDING CRISIS like vacation.

That is why when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor they picked a Sunday!

Because, at least then, American’s were “closed”. Sitting around watching baseball and eating apple pie!

And heaven knows with the grueling work load that our dedicated Congressional members have to do and with their meager salaries it is understandable. Vacation!

At a paltry pay rate of $1017.54 to $1041.91 PER WORK DAY our Congressional Members with 171 to 194 days off a year that $174,000.00 a year sure doesn’t go as far as it used to!

Tubularsock knows you feel for them. You know, they have to take the legislation that is written by the corporate lobbyist and fax it to the bill printing office and then place it into the flow of other corporate bills being “legislated” and voted on.

Talking about stress. That is why they have their own swimming pools and and private gyms and lunch rooms within the Capitol building complex!

And because of this constant flow of corporate generated bills our Congressional members don’t even have time to read what they are voting on. But the ayes have it!

Especially if its for building guns and bombs but not so much for health, schools, libraries, infrastructure …… you know, “Just Where Can We Get The Money?”

And all that is necessary to vote is pressing a button. Too busy to write.

And OH YES, OrangeTweet is on vacation as well and it only is costing the tax paying citizens about $104,000,000.00 to date for just his gulf trips!

And the fact that much of that expenditure if paid to Dump’s family businesses is a questionable procedure for any government official to be involved in.

The bottom line ……… is that WE are paying for all of this and ALL OF THIS are off on vacation.

Somehow the gravity of this historical Impeachment event seems to have been lost in the mist of the

HO, HO, HO’S.

But rest assured, they ALL line up at the feeding trough to pick up their “employment” checks …… right on time! (no vacation there)

 

 

MERRY METAPHOR HOHOHO! 2019 A TUBULARSOCK CHRISTMAS.

Well it is all winding down now.
People with no money have indebted themselves until next October to spread happiness under a dead or plastic “tree”.

All because “THEY” told you that plastic crap makes one happy!

And “THEY” repeated it to you over and over and over.

And how can your children COMPETE with your neighbor’s children and school mates without an iPhone-10,000?

Yeah, we go through this every year and with the same results nationally.
Higher suicide rates.
Higher alcohol consumption.
Higher drug intake.
And record high depression!

There is something wrong with this picture.
Don’t you think?

Happiness doesn’t lie in having “things”!
And it isn’t improved by having even more because it isn’t the answer to start with.

LESS IS MORE.

Ponder that on Christmas Day over the din.

And just what is Christmas without Tubularsock’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Oh sure …….. sing along!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOg7aPNLLG0

 

 

TUBULARSOCK’S CHRISTMAS WISH!

 

Well it has become extremely difficult to deny that we are living in a complete loony-tune world and the escape hatch has been closed for repairs.

There is an attempt to dump Frumpy-Orange-Dumpy off the wall and all the kings horses and all the kings men won’t be able to put him back together again.

Doesn’t Tubularsock only wish.

No, the Orange-Turd has nine lives and his true followers lap up Orange-Turd’s shit faster than a bag full of Mac-nuggets.

And the Corp-Democraps have done everything they can to keep the same stagnated Biden-Clinton-Obummer clap trap and not even dress it up.

The CorpDems don’t want ANY change to the system in truth. They benefit with Dump in office personally and their income and investment portfolios prove it.

The CorpDems if elected may benefit more if they take control however either way they’ll benefit personally. So FUCK YOU America!

And don’t you worry, either party believes in and supports endless wars because THAT is where the money happens to be.

Helping the poor, helping the sick, helping education, providing education for the incarcerated, investing in infrastructure …….. COST TOO MUCH!

Killing people indiscriminately in other countries WE CAN AFFORD.

That is where the money is made.

And the CorpDems and the Repulicant’s will keep that going and pocket the money.

That is why ANY candidate that is NOT WITH THEM is against THE AMERICAN WAY.

And what is the AMERICAN WAY ——- KILLING!

Don’t think so ………….. take a real look at American History.

Now there is one way to really help shift this inevitable negative direction.

Tubularsock would take Baby-Bush and Obomber and arrest both of them for WAR CRIMES and put them on trial …….. NOW!

You see, if the stand-ins of the powerful keep dodging responsibility for their actions we’ll just keep getting the same corporate puppets.

And you know that is not going to happen so just sit back and say a little prayer for an atomic bomb test going awry and hitting Washington, D.C. while Dump, VP-Dense, and a full session of Congress are in session.

Tubularsock knows it is just too much to ask for BUT Christmas IS coming after-all!

 

SARAH’S SAD STORY HITS HARD

 

Tubularsock realizes that there is a wealth of sad stories out there in the big wide wonderful world and this is only one of them but ……. and Tubularsock warns you,
this will bring tears to your eyes and so close to Christmas too!

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is packing her Adidas Santiago Mini Duffel Bag with all her honest news notes she has given out to the press during her time as OrangeDick’s press secretary.

In addition it has taken nine semi trucks with extended trailers to carry away her lying news notes defending the OrangeButterBall.

She is still collecting her near $180,000 salary until she parts, heading out and off of the White House lawn.

 

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the daughter of former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee, a Southern Baptist minister, learned so well about lying, “much like Christ did in the Bible from her Bible thumping father.

And about “pussy grabbing” as perhaps God dabbled in on the side.

And maybe even thoughts of incest with Ivanka.

Are those “sins” supported by Preacher Huckabee as a “good-loving” Southern Baptist?

Hell, it’s just the way they are! Amen.

The three guiding principles of the Hucksters are lying, grabbing, Incest or THE THREE I’S AS SOUTHERN BAPTIST CALL THEM!

Tubularsock just can’t wait until Sarah’s children become teenagers.

Sarah’s “lying at any cost” activities that she executed so well will crop right up when her kids become teenagers and at that time will bite her on her huge derriere.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

 

ATTENTION:

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

 

 

 

 

 

TRUMP & SANTA 2018

HALT, the bull shit train!

Every year for decades now NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command, has followed Santa Claus on Christmas Eve as he zips around the world dropping down chimneys delivering presents to GOOD little girls and boys.

Sure he does.

NORAD’s aerospace control includes ensuring air sovereignty and air defense of the airspace of Canada and the United States and is on duty 24/7 three hundred and sixty five days a year EXCEPT September 11, 2001. But hey, who’s counting?

Children are encouraged to call NORAD for information of the location of Santa Claus at any given moment to be told if he’s on track.

And some years some children’s calls are diverted so they also can speak to the President or the First Lady as a political PR stunt.

Michelle Obama answered children’s calls for several years while being First Lady.

And so it goes ………. Melania performed her PR duty just like Michelle and all was well in Christmas land.

And then President Orange-Scrooge took some calls this year as well.

But first he had to close down the government …… HO, HO, HO!

You know, President Orange-Scrooge doesn’t seem to do ANYTHING correctly. Do you know what Tubularsock means?

No?

 

Well let Tubularsock give you this example:

President Orange-Scrooge took a call from a 7 year old child and during the course of the conversation the question of Believing In Santa Claus came up. The child’s response was “yes sir” indicating a belief in the jolly old Claus, when President Orange-Scrooge proceeded with “. . . at 7, it’s marginal, right?”

Now the child didn’t know what marginal meant or what the reference meant so all was good in Christmas land.

But REALLY, a guy who lies ALL THE TIME chooses at that moment to start to “tell the truth” about the existence of Santa Claus …….. REALLY?

Yet there is a much larger point Tubularsock wants you to consider.

And that is the Santa Claus LIE. That should give you pause.

Your parents LIE to you that Santa Claus is REAL!

You can call up your government on a special phone line and be told Santa Claus is REAL!

And think on this ………. THE GOVERNMENT tracks Santa just like they track YOU and that is REAL.

And the President and First Lady tells you Santa Claus is REAL!

AND YOU BELIEVE …………..

So when the times comes when you are told by your parents, your government, and your President and First Lady that Santa Claus is “AN ENEMMY COMBATANT” or an ISIS infiltrator or terrorist sympathizer will you believe THAT as well?

Sure you will!

That is how we got into the Vietnam War, and Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen!
And the citizen’s believed ……….. and that same Santa Lie continues today.

So it would do us all good if President Orange-Scrooge received a huge chunk of “clean-coal” in his Christmas stocking this year.

Maybe he will, if Santa Mueller has anything to say about it!

But unfortunately, OrangeTweet isn’t the only Santa liar out there!

 

NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

“Well-placed” sources close to the Secretary of State have stated that Tubularsock, 
The Secretary of the Deplorables, has an uncanny ability to “fit-in” well with North Koreans due to his kimchi knowledge.

Tubularsock speaks Kimchi fluently as well as several other Vegan Languages.

Some have insinuated that the Secretary may be working “undercover” for the CIA after Tubularsock was overheard saying that “. . . the U.S. should cover-over the undercover and close the drawer on the issue at hand.”

 

This comment was verified by an official who spoke on condition of anonymity due to the laws in place about discussing sensitive diplomatic issues.

The comment occurred between Tubularsock and a room service maid at the TRUMP PYONGYANG HOTEL, according to a senior White House official involved in the preparations.

IN FURTHER NEWS:

Christmas is upon us and a miracle has occurred. The Big Bang Theory has been proven correct as demonstrated by the following cosmic insight by none other than TUBULARSOCK!