Archive for the ‘CHRISTMAS’ Category

TRUMP & SANTA 2018

HALT, the bull shit train!

Every year for decades now NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defense Command, has followed Santa Claus on Christmas Eve as he zips around the world dropping down chimneys delivering presents to GOOD little girls and boys.

Sure he does.

NORAD’s aerospace control includes ensuring air sovereignty and air defense of the airspace of Canada and the United States and is on duty 24/7 three hundred and sixty five days a year EXCEPT September 11, 2001. But hey, who’s counting?

Children are encouraged to call NORAD for information of the location of Santa Claus at any given moment to be told if he’s on track.

And some years some children’s calls are diverted so they also can speak to the President or the First Lady as a political PR stunt.

Michelle Obama answered children’s calls for several years while being First Lady.

And so it goes ………. Melania performed her PR duty just like Michelle and all was well in Christmas land.

And then President Orange-Scrooge took some calls this year as well.

But first he had to close down the government …… HO, HO, HO!

You know, President Orange-Scrooge doesn’t seem to do ANYTHING correctly. Do you know what Tubularsock means?

No?

 

Well let Tubularsock give you this example:

President Orange-Scrooge took a call from a 7 year old child and during the course of the conversation the question of Believing In Santa Claus came up. The child’s response was “yes sir” indicating a belief in the jolly old Claus, when President Orange-Scrooge proceeded with “. . . at 7, it’s marginal, right?”

Now the child didn’t know what marginal meant or what the reference meant so all was good in Christmas land.

But REALLY, a guy who lies ALL THE TIME chooses at that moment to start to “tell the truth” about the existence of Santa Claus …….. REALLY?

Yet there is a much larger point Tubularsock wants you to consider.

And that is the Santa Claus LIE. That should give you pause.

Your parents LIE to you that Santa Claus is REAL!

You can call up your government on a special phone line and be told Santa Claus is REAL!

And think on this ………. THE GOVERNMENT tracks Santa just like they track YOU and that is REAL.

And the President and First Lady tells you Santa Claus is REAL!

AND YOU BELIEVE …………..

So when the times comes when you are told by your parents, your government, and your President and First Lady that Santa Claus is “AN ENEMMY COMBATANT” or an ISIS infiltrator or terrorist sympathizer will you believe THAT as well?

Sure you will!

That is how we got into the Vietnam War, and Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen!
And the citizen’s believed ……….. and that same Santa Lie continues today.

So it would do us all good if President Orange-Scrooge received a huge chunk of “clean-coal” in his Christmas stocking this year.

Maybe he will, if Santa Mueller has anything to say about it!

But unfortunately, OrangeTweet isn’t the only Santa liar out there!

 

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NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

“Well-placed” sources close to the Secretary of State have stated that Tubularsock, 
The Secretary of the Deplorables, has an uncanny ability to “fit-in” well with North Koreans due to his kimchi knowledge.

Tubularsock speaks Kimchi fluently as well as several other Vegan Languages.

Some have insinuated that the Secretary may be working “undercover” for the CIA after Tubularsock was overheard saying that “. . . the U.S. should cover-over the undercover and close the drawer on the issue at hand.”

 

This comment was verified by an official who spoke on condition of anonymity due to the laws in place about discussing sensitive diplomatic issues.

The comment occurred between Tubularsock and a room service maid at the TRUMP PYONGYANG HOTEL, according to a senior White House official involved in the preparations.

IN FURTHER NEWS:

Christmas is upon us and a miracle has occurred. The Big Bang Theory has been proven correct as demonstrated by the following cosmic insight by none other than TUBULARSOCK!

 

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ARE THEY DONE YET?

Posted: December 25, 2015 in CHRISTMAS
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Tube done yet?

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HO! HO! HO! JOLLY TUBE

Posted: December 22, 2015 in CHRISTMAS, Climate
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This is the time of year that Tubularsock hides in his top floor corner office in the underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA.

Not from fear but from dread ……..

Tubularsock always puts on his stealth attire when he has to leave the bunker and you wouldn’t recognize Tubularsock on the street because the S.F. Bay Area that Oakland is a part has so many diverse hair styles Tubularsock isn’t all that noticeable. No, really.

But just in case Tubularsock always wears a ski hat with blinking green lights with its top cut open and people don’t even look up as Tubularsock passes on his two-wheeled bike. It’s rather a live-and-let-live community in general.

And hell with the homeless black dude that rides his bike pulling two bike trailers with a boom-box and two huge 12” woofer speakers blaring and adding that to all his belongings with everything painted GOLD to match his gold painted top hat, suit coat, pants and high top tennis shoes ……..

Well shit, Tubularsock even begins to look normal!

Tubularsock seldom goes into retail stores. Just have no interest and most of the stuff is priced so high that Tubularsock figures the “liberal-press” has buried the true story that the Chinese slave laborers in the sweat-factories have been given a huge wage increase! Fucking workers!

At least here in America when we asked the Black Africans to leave their homes and come to America we put them to work 24/7. They were good workers too. In fact, so good that the powers to be set up a system that still exist today. And keeps those Black Workers behind bars working in order to keep them from having to associate with all those welfare cheats!

Seriously! If you recall, those Native Americans would run off when our early Christian farmers used to attempt to “train” those savages to work. And none of them spoke American! Go figure.

But that was then and we are here now and things have improved.

And today in America we even love Mexicans! No seriously!

Right after Donald Trump proclaimed to build a wall to keep those raping Mexicans out he in his next breath proclaimed that he had a great relationship with Mexican waiters. They were his homey-amigos.

And just like Americans, no one even noticed any incongruity. That’s because we are ALL, EXCEPTIONAL!

Now, just watching truck after truck after truck of dead pine trees being brought into this city to be decorated and lighted up for a week or two and then tossed to the curbside to be taken away by trucks and trucks and trucks just brings merriment to Tubularsock’s soul.

And just like Americans, no one even notices any incongruity. That’s because we are ALL, EXCEPTIONAL!

But one can not miss the parade of stressed out smiling people marching in and out like zombies to every sales event in order to PROVIDE HAPPINESS which isn’t paid off until  May, 2016 if you’re lucky. Which then keeps them all sitting in cubicles day in and day out for years and they call it their life’s work.

And just like Americans, no one even notices any incongruity. That’s because we are ALL, EXCEPTIONAL!

But what if ………………………..

This year ………………………….

LIBERATION.

stop!

Wow, now how easy was that?

If you haven’t figured this out yet ………..

the force

And believe Tubularsock on this ……. you don’t have to do this.

You never did. It has alway been an illusion and you are the ONLY one who can wake up because it is YOUR dream.

And Tubularsock knows your conditioned response …… “but I, I just couldn’t”.

But you can …….. you create your own reality and you even already know this, so listen from within.

“I’M SORRY, YOUR TIME IS UP ….. THIS IS A RECORDING. YOUR PARKING TICKET MAY BE VALIDATED UPON YOUR EXIT…….. HAVE A NICE DAY” beep.  your move

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You know Tubularsock is sitting in his top floor corner office minding his own business and thinking ………….. OH SHIT!

Obummer’s speech ……… pissing in the wind!

Solutions that are totally in fantasy land …… Really, like no kidding.

The San Bernardino attack …….. not a thing that Obummer recommended even comes close to stopping this kind of animosity!

No! Write San Bernardino off to COLLATERAL DAMAGE …… PURE AND SIMPLE!

You want to stop ISIS?

No bombing anybody ………….. not necessary!

The United States Government IMMEDIATELY places economic sanctions on Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar and Israel!

The funding comes from these areas. The Banks of the United States FREEZE all funds from ANYONE from those countries ………… PERIOD!

ISIS would be defeated without a shot.

You know, Tubularsock always says: “The simplest solution is ALWAYS the easiest.”

So why doesn’t Obommer do this ……….

WELL ASK THE FUCKER!

https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

HELL YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS ……… ASK EVERYDAY UNTIL JANUARY 1ST!

You know Tubularsock doesn’t know all of this trending shit but some of you do ………..  Social Media is powerful so those of you that know how to use it ………….

PLEASE DO!

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