Archive for the ‘Ivanka Trump’ Category

IN CASED YOU MISSED IT.

 

Tubularsock realizes that with all this impeachment drama which has only proven that OrangeFuck is as disgusting as we already knew but he just became more obvious to anyone with a brain.

And that his offspring running about on the campaign trail are a great example of what happens when you ejaculate into a jar and have to transfer those sperm into your wife’s vagina because she doesn’t want that “disgusting little thing” shoved into her body.

Well, deformed embryo happen as Ivanka, Eric, and Don Jr. PROVE!
THIS IS SCIENCE!

Oh my, Tubularsock if off topic again!

But may Tubularsock add, just that if Ivanka, Eric, and Don Jr. aren’t the BEST advertisement for abortion than NOTHING is!

But to the point.

While all this impeachment drama was playing out showing just how well the Republican’ts Party is willing to take it up their asses by bending over in almost unison for Dumps tiny ahhhh, member OTHER things were going on as well.

And Tubularsock has created a quick overview in case you may have missed it.

And as a favor to the non-reader American, Tubularsock has focused on pictures.

“Federally funded school lunches are about to get a lot less healthy”

https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/1/10/18177099/school-lunch-sonny-perdue-healthy-hunger-free-kids

And speaking of oversized PIGS, “Reporter says Mike Pompeo cursed and demanded she (CNN reporter) find Ukraine on a map after interview.”

https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/24/politics/mike-pompeo-interview-ukraine/index.html

And then just a message about on line dating for those who love to live life as a crap shoot.

And finally, Tubularsock just wants to blame the Russians! It is way easier than having to accept that it is the American population that is so fucking gullible! And our two party system are run by oligarchs NOT the citizens AND THE MONEY PROVES IT!

LIKE, WAKE THE FUCK UP, AMERICA!

Oh sure, Tubularsock has many more examples but like any political junkie, Tubularsock lost interest right after “ejaculate into a jar” had been unveiled .

DRONE ON TRUMP

 

Now Tubularsock has become aware that an impeachment is really an old concept of the so called “civilized” world.

You know the story: “No one is above the law”. EVERYONE in the political sphere are willing to say that over and over with a straight face.

And yet, rather than look into the offense and totally investigate the charges, the game is to obstruct any just-process for investigating and dodge, using procedural maneuvering to bypass any information and hide it from the American people.

Seems par for the course to Tubularsock.

That is why Tubularsock sees that a more modern procedural process may be in order.

Just what if “A LONE WOLF” with access to drone driving takes out Air Force One on its way back from Mar-a- Lago blowing up Donald AND maybe even Ivanka (you know …. a twofer).

We could be shocked and run around pointing the finger at Iran, Venezuela, or Cuba for starters. OR EVEN the Deep State! (But whatever you do, don’t point a finger at Israel or Saudi Arabia.)

We could all run about saying “WHY?” or “WHAT HAVE WE DONE?” or “ONLY SOMEONE “EVIL’” would do such a thing!

You know, the same old brain dead response from Americans.

And then it would be off to war we go because what better way to abhor violence than to attack and kill …… well, those responsible.

EVEN if we don’t know or can’t prove who that may be it doesn’t really matter.

You remember Iraq, right? Or Afghanistan?

Fifteen of the nineteen 9/11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia which logically led to war with Iraq and Afghanistan.

So really, extortion, bribery, selling out to a foreign country for personal gain, using a political office to acquire financial gain, lie, cheat, obstruct justice and being Orange with small hands are really only minor qualifications of illegal activities for the Presidency as opposed to WAR CRIMES!

Just maybe Americans just might want to, besides draw and quarter the Orange Wonder, arrest and try Baby Bush and Obomber as well as the Orange Turd for Crimes Against Humanity!

And sure you can toss in fucking Killery and OLD Joe as well!

But that ain’t going to happen so Tubularsock will just have to wait for that Lone Wolf to do what others won’t do.

And please remember hypothetical scenarios ARE NOT threats but are simply wishful thinking of possibilities that could happen.

Tubularsock is not advocating violence toward anyone. But Tubularsock’s sympathy toward a dead rat is not high on Tubularsock’s compassionate scale. Just sayen’.

So how about a rousing chorus of kum ba yah to close.

 

IMPEACH-A-PLORABLE

 

Well Tubularsock hasn’t all day so lets wrap up the Impeachment proceeding and be done with it!

Ok, all those in the room that believe that President-Tweet attempted to extort the President of the Ukraine for Tweet’s own personal political advantage in the coming up 2020 election, say aye.

aye!

The evidence shows that President-Tweet in HIS OWN WORDS shows this to be true.

The FACT, that after the phone conversation the covey of criminals around President-Tweet rushed the tape of the conversation to a “top secret” safety server because of fear that his illegal extortion plot could be exposed.

And then there is Rudy’s argument in his Op-Ed in the Wall Street Journal basically saying that, President-Tweet spent most all the conversation on Ukrainian corruption but ONLY “six lines” on extortion about Biden!

And one of the best Tweet responses to Rudy’s logic in Tubularsock’s opinion was expressed by Krister Johnson when he stated, “Out of a whole lifetime, John Wilkes Booth spent only six seconds assassinating Abraham Lincoln”!

Case Closed!

 

 

Now hold on ………….

There is another side! Proceed.

From the GOP’s point of view there is a strong case that President Tweet was abducted by alien beings from the subterranean deep state that permeates ever living and dead cell in existence and was forced against his will to strong arm the Ukraine President into compliance and turn away from corruption.

JUST READ THE TRANSCRIPT!

Doing a favor IS NOT quid pro quo !

It is a simple gesture of diplomatic respect which is done all the time.

“We all do it” ……. Al Capone, Lucky Luciano, Stefano Bontade, Fat Tony Gizzo and the entire crew of Trump appointed administration lackeys.

It’s just, you know, POLICY.

And then there are the unified “TALKING POINTS” of Fox News and the Trump family that the entire Impeachment Process in BORING.

And hell, Tubularsock agrees! Let’s bring back the exciting stuff that Don Jr. can masturbate to, you know, like Stormy “spanking” DADDY on his ass with a magazine with his face on the cover.
Oh, the good old days ……. yes, Tubularsock misses them too.

 

Case Closed!

 

In truth, Harvard Law Professor Laurence Tribe sums it all up for even the dumbest deplorable to understand and that is that Trump’s

“. . . whole purpose in holding that office is to enrich himself and enhance the power of his family and the wealth of his family . . .”

Now with that, IMPEACH THE SON OF A BITCH and get back to football!

 

 

SARAH’S SAD STORY HITS HARD

 

Tubularsock realizes that there is a wealth of sad stories out there in the big wide wonderful world and this is only one of them but ……. and Tubularsock warns you,
this will bring tears to your eyes and so close to Christmas too!

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is packing her Adidas Santiago Mini Duffel Bag with all her honest news notes she has given out to the press during her time as OrangeDick’s press secretary.

In addition it has taken nine semi trucks with extended trailers to carry away her lying news notes defending the OrangeButterBall.

She is still collecting her near $180,000 salary until she parts, heading out and off of the White House lawn.

 

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the daughter of former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee, a Southern Baptist minister, learned so well about lying, “much like Christ did in the Bible from her Bible thumping father.

And about “pussy grabbing” as perhaps God dabbled in on the side.

And maybe even thoughts of incest with Ivanka.

Are those “sins” supported by Preacher Huckabee as a “good-loving” Southern Baptist?

Hell, it’s just the way they are! Amen.

The three guiding principles of the Hucksters are lying, grabbing, Incest or THE THREE I’S AS SOUTHERN BAPTIST CALL THEM!

Tubularsock just can’t wait until Sarah’s children become teenagers.

Sarah’s “lying at any cost” activities that she executed so well will crop right up when her kids become teenagers and at that time will bite her on her huge derriere.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

 

ATTENTION:

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

 

 

 

 

 

ICE TRUMP

Tubularsock has been busy repairing Tubularsock’s Top Floor Corner Office In The Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA (see Bunker Tour).

And while repairing dry-rot Tubularsock can not help but think of the Dump Administration and all of the leeches that are hanging on and sucking on Uncle Sam’s tits because those drained swamp folks had to go somewhere!

Like all Administrations there is plenty to go around but what Tubularsock LOVES about Donald is that he fucks you right up front and then tells you that it never happened.

Shrub, Slick Willy and Killery, and Obummer fucked you in secret and you just weren’t aware of it.

But THAT has been the nature of the U.S. Government from it’s beginnings. So the only difference is that the deception of criminality is outright criminality!

And by golly, the Ignoramus In Chief has an outstanding record with ripping people off right in front of them. That was why he bankrupted six businesses as a great businessman!

And just like Dump, he claims only four bankruptcies because as he told reporters from the Washington Post “. . . he counted the first three bankruptcies as just one”.

So with the ability to define six as four is really at the heart of Dump’s ethical temperament. And his base are just dumb enough to believe that that is being good at business. Watch your wallet gang. His base are not the brightest when it comes to believing THE FAT OLD ORANGE CON MAN! (FOOCM)

Oh but that isn’t even the half of it. He leads everyone you have ever known as the most petty little creep and the most insecure little slim ball on record.

HEY! Everyone is good at something!

And all that stems from a FOREIGN mother and a KRAUT father who slipped into the country as aliens. You know the type, no job, little education, no money in the bank and they came to suck off we GOOD WHITE CITIZENS that came a few years before and spoke English!

And even though English wasn’t the native language in North America WE ENGLISH had god on our side …….. SO THERE!

So being a foreign kid born to non-English parents Dump may NOT be able to be President! Has anyone asked to see Donald’s birth certificate?

Tubularsock suspects that Mary took a shit and out came Donnie! Well at least it fits his personality!

And just like alien immigrants do, Dump had a gillion children himself by different women and gave them jobs in the government to suck off we GOOD-HONEST-ENGLISH SPEAKING-REAL-AMERICANS! That’s what!

And Ivanka ISN’T a real American name, nor is Melania for Christ sake and Melania can’t even speak American! Fucking foreigners taking over America!

And now we even have to put up with Melania’s parents who entered America and recently became U.S. citizen using family-based immigration laws leading to “chain migration”!

And as Donald has often said “chain migration” provisions are dangerous for the country because they can lead to terrorism and other types of crime!

Donald should turn his entire family over to the ICE!

Deport the entire Dump family is what Tubularsock says. And separate those Dump family children and put them into Laura Ingraham style “summer-camps” until they can be reunited with their families back where they came from!

America for Americans is what Tubularsock says!

No seriously, it is the ONLY way to make America Fake Again!

 

JEFF SESSIONS, GOAT FUCKER?

 

It has been many years now that Tubularsock was wandering Europe. But all of this Naziesque crap being directed by OrangeTurd and his trusty companion BibleThumper Jeff has brought back a long forgotten conversation.

Tubularsock was driving through Germany with a trusted friend. We were taking the “slow” way through the German hinterland and was driving through the Black Forest area with no real destination in mind.

The evergreen forests and picturesque villages were right out of a “living” traveler guidebook. An amazing area of Germany to visit especially if you are a meandering traveler.

It was there, sitting in the car at a pullout that our conversation began. If we had been German citizens during the rise of Hitler and if we had been living in this area of German, just how knowledgeable would we have been about Auschwitz in Poland and what was happening in Germany at large as well?

As the hate and fear was propagated that “others” were not worthy of our concern just how shutdown to this oncoming evil would we have grokked?

Tubularsock has many German friends that have stated that their parent’s generation, after the war, would NOT EVEN discuss this subject or explain how they had been duped by Hitler and his hate filled belief system. The shame was too great and they didn’t want to explain their role of even being citizens in that mess.

Jump to Jeff Session interpreting the Bible, Romans 13 suggesting that God supports the government in separating immigrant parents from their children.

 

And it looks to Tubularsock that Jeff has as much knowledge as Tubularsock has about Biblical interpretation when Tubularsock interprets Isaiah 11:6 “. . . the leopard will lie down with the goat . . .” to mean that Jeff Sessions fucks goats!

Now, Tubularsock may not be the best Biblical scholar, however, it just goes to show you that Jeff too is rather selective at cherry picking passages of the Bible for his own political purposes. Shame on you Jeff, you old goat fucker!

 

And then we have Plastic Melania in her “I Don’t Care, Do U” coat going off to see the children in jail to bestow her “motherly love” with her magic wand.

Leaving Barron home alone with his unstable Orange-“father”.

Poor, Poor Barron, assumed to have been born from a turkey baster impregnation so Plastic Mom didn’t have to have that gross Fat-Orange-Body thrusting and panting attempting to get a hard on to do the job.

 

FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!

 

Wow, speaking of child molestation! Can you imagine having to be trapped in a “family” with Donald Jr., Ivanka, and Eric!

Tiffany is not so bad.

But leave it to Peter Fonda to hit the nail on the head with his tweet calling for Barron to be “. . . ripped from his mother’s arms and put in a cage with pedophiles.”

Of course, Peter apologized later saying he had been upset over Trump’s Policy and he had “. . . tweeted something highly inappropriate and vulgar about the president and his family in response to the devastating images I was seeing on television.”

OH CONTRAIR!

The pedophile part WAS a little bit over the top but at least the cage would help protect Barron from Plastic-mom, Orange-dad, and the evil Munchkins!

But unlike the children stolen from their parents at the border Plastic-mom had the U.S. Secret Service notified. Some kids warrant special attention.

 

FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!

 

So Plastic-I-Don’t-Care wanted to see for herself what was happening to the imprisoned children of Latin American descent so, if you can believe this, she was sent to a facility opened to the first lady which was, of course, selected keeping in mind the press would be accompanying her.

“Other such facilities around the country have denied access to Democratic lawmakers and media”.

You know, like any good DEMOCRATIC society would do. Prevent Congress from representing the people they are supposed to represent and be the eyes of the people. Republicans are prevented as well. You know, to keep it fair.

Well, it sure fooled Plastic I-Don’t-Care!

Tubularsock is sure that everyone was on best behavior for the Plastic-Lady! She thanked everyone for a job well done and then got into her jet and flew back to Washington, D.C.

She left with her parting words that the U.S. should “govern with heart”!

And Tubularsock agrees and just maybe it has come time to pull that used heart of Dick Cheney and plant it into Donald. That heart never seemed to work for Cheney anyway.

The Nazi mind set is running again and the American public can be awakened to the possible further destruction of what is left of American Values which weren’t that strong to begin with or we can watch the edges of the toilet bowl as we all swirl down into the depth of the Black Forest never to be seen again.

 

It actually is up to US!

Trump has embarrassed the United States of America in the World and as his Scottish-born mother’s relatives have stated: “His Mother had been acutely embarrassed by the antics of her fourth child during the 1990s when his failing marriage and business were the subject of intense tabloid scrutiny.

Mary Trump died in 2000, but if his mother was upset with his crap in the 1990’s she must be turning over in her grave NOW!

And as for dear daddy, Fred C. Trump with his German ancestry as a nap-sack was arrested at a Ku Klux Klan riot in New York in 1927, records reveal. He died in 1999.

 

Need Tubularsock say more? The racist apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree, now has it!

 

THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

Learning,  you have to do on your own!