PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

Translations of above statements:

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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PRESENT AT THE CREATION

Tubularsock was sitting in his Corner Office In His Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. (see BUNKER TOUR for background) and pondering the absurd world we find ourselves.

But hey, what in the fuck would you expect if in each last election you had to vote for the “lessor of the two evils”!

 

 

It is just logical that in time you’d have to reach the bottom of the barrel, RIGHT?

And the real scary thing is that Orange Fuck and his deranged offspring and his third plastic wife may not be at the bottom.

Think about it! Makes WW3 look better already, doesn’t it!

 

 

So is there a way out?

So kick back and think of your options.

Sure Tubularsock has some options to suggest.

And remember these are only for fun, not real change.

 

 

First: We grab Pussy-Whipped-Session’s and give him a marijuana suppository to loosen up his dysfunctional brain and bring him into the 21st century!

Second: We remove the Christian Cross turned sideways from Pence’s ass to relieve the pressure on his brain as he waits for the second coming.

And Third ……. oh hell you come up with one! After all isn’t that what democracy is all about?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHO’S CARING?

Posted: January 1, 2018 in 2018
Tags:

WHO’S CARING?
©2018Tubularsock

So what exactly happened
And who exactly cares

Standing minding your own business
And you find you yourself just there

No one ask that you arrive there
No one offered up a chair

You fall asleep at bedtime
All carefully well prepared

And awakened in the morning
You are barely even there.

A couple pots of coffee
Your eyes now open wide

The old year up and went
The new year arrived as sent

So what exactly happened
And who exactly cares

You may find yourself well satisfied
Or just pissed off as hell

But a new year has come along
Can you really even tell

You have high hopes or so you say
As you are programed to do

The same old crap is still sitting there
Not much has changed with you

But then again you were not asked
You weren’t given your just do

The new year has been started
And will we make it through

So what exactly happened
And who exactly cares

 

NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

“Well-placed” sources close to the Secretary of State have stated that Tubularsock, 
The Secretary of the Deplorables, has an uncanny ability to “fit-in” well with North Koreans due to his kimchi knowledge.

Tubularsock speaks Kimchi fluently as well as several other Vegan Languages.

Some have insinuated that the Secretary may be working “undercover” for the CIA after Tubularsock was overheard saying that “. . . the U.S. should cover-over the undercover and close the drawer on the issue at hand.”

 

This comment was verified by an official who spoke on condition of anonymity due to the laws in place about discussing sensitive diplomatic issues.

The comment occurred between Tubularsock and a room service maid at the TRUMP PYONGYANG HOTEL, according to a senior White House official involved in the preparations.

IN FURTHER NEWS:

Christmas is upon us and a miracle has occurred. The Big Bang Theory has been proven correct as demonstrated by the following cosmic insight by none other than TUBULARSOCK!

 

a functioning america?: dumb, dumber, dumbest . . .

OH COME ON …… IS THIS REALLY TRUE?

When Tubularsock saw this, immediately doubt was the reaction.

Now, it is not that Tubularsock has any doubt what-so-ever that Donnie can’t tie his own shoes but Tubularsock had to do some research about this Newsweek article. First Tubularsock hates Newsweek and doesn’t trust much of what they say but also because of the stupidity of ALL of the Trumps’ and inability to tie their own shoes was a little too much.

Hell, Melania and Ivanka wear slip-on for Christ sake!

But alas, life is stranger than fiction.

It has been disclosed by the New York City Board of Elections that due to the lack of a 3rd grade level of intelligence the Trumps couldn’t vote for the Mayor of New York because………….

Donnie while filling in his absentee ballot put down the WRONG DATE FOR HIS OWN BIRTHDAY! You know, how June and July look alike, right?

Melania wrote in under “county”, USA rather than New York and then proceeded to NOT SIGN the inner envelope as instructed to do for mail-in absentee ballots.

She is one of those immigrants that climbed the wall so at least it is somewhat understandable.

Ivanka filled out her ballot properly but didn’t mail it in on time.

And Jared, not being a “real-Trump” didn’t vote at all.

Now don’t let it bother you that:

Sure the beat goes on.

SPEAKING OF VOTING.

You have seen that Doug Jones won the Alabama Senate seat from the pedophile Moore who got less of the votes.

Moore who got less wants a recount.

But Alabama’s Secretary of State John Merrill has stated that Moore with less could have a recount if he paid for it.

But here is Tubularsock’s question:

Just how will the recount be counted?

Tubularsock assumes that the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that way because they thought the vote would be close and it would be Doug Jones wanting the recount.

Maybe that old good-ol’-boy system is going to take a hit!

 

Before the election Mitch McConnell suggested that PedoMoore should step down from running and head back to the mall and chase 14 year old virgins full time (or something like that) but then the Pussy-Grabbing-President-Dump put his full support behind Moore and then Mitch switched! (this all sounds a little gay to Tubularsock ….. just sayin’)

Mitch suggested that “IT WAS UP TO ALABAMANS TO CHOOSE THEIR SENATOR TO REPRESENT THEM IN THE U.S SENATE”!

But wouldn’t you know. Now that Alabamans have chosen their Senator to represent them, Mitch McConnell now is attempting to NOT ALLOW Doug Jones into the Senate to REPRESENT THE PEOPLE OF ALABAMA until after the tax robbery bill is voted on.

It’s called democracy.

PENIS WAVING: AMERICA’S PASTIME!

Tubularsock has been scraping around in the gutter of American sexual predators not because many men in power and many men with no power can be found there but more importantly ……. WHAT IS NEW?

This entire avalanche of the sexual predator exposé is pretty sick and sad. But it has answered three questions for Tubularsock about America.

First and foremost is a question that Tubularsock has asked himself many times.

Why is it that with 365 days a year and 24 hours in each of those days and a staff of three aides or more can’t a Senator or Representative READ THE BILLS he/she signs into law?

Case in point: The new TAX OVERHAUL bill is over 500 “government pages” long. “Government Pages” is a code phrase Tubularsock uses and it means 2/3rds of those pages are fluff-bull-shit and 1/3rd of those pages are refined bull shit.

To read those pages BEFORE you sign the bill, you’d think, would be the job of a Senator or Representative, RIGHT?

Well no. It appears that one’s reading time is reduced by 85% if the Senator’s or Representative’s entire concentration is focused on master-bating on their secretary’s desk in front of her or grabbing her tit!

See how quickly priorities change under these Congressional circumstances?

SO NOW TUBULARSOCK UNDERSTANDS WHY OUR LAWMAKERS ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB WE ELECTED THEM TO DO!

And the ones that aren’t doing the “doing” are gossiping about it and with everyone knowing, where is this outrage and surprise coming from anyway?

And then add to it THE PUBLIC already knows as well. So why this outrage? We have ALWAYS known.

 

The second question answered for Tubularsock is why in general do European films have so much more depth than American films. And the reason is that European films depict actual human relations while American films tend to express the fantasy of the constant hard-on and then the constant “explosions” as the sign of “manhood” and hero worship.

The Hollywood directors, actors, and producers start to believe their own hype from these shallow movies and believe THEY ARE THE MANHOOD HERO. Fantasy gone mad.

And then the third question answered.

This is no surprise at all really but just substantiates Tubularsock’s suspicion.
The TV anchor. What an empty job to sit through day after day after day, spewing master bated endless bull shit written by others that you repeat with “honesty” and “warmth” calling yourself a journalist!

Talking about a reason to look for something to do “for real”!

Even if you start out with some integrity it isn’t long before when the little red light goes off you’ll repeat whatever they put on the teleprompter. Even if you know it is lies.

When you sell your soul why not “grab some pussy on the side”!

After all, the President of the United States swears by it even if the First Pussy won’t hold his hand!

FOR FURTHER READING MAY TUBULARSOCK SUGGEST:

1.Tubularsock’s Guide To Sexual Harassment “a hands on guide to hands off, the do’s and don’t s”.

2. Tubularsock’s New York Bestseller, Getting Close To The Children, “the priest’s guide to fondling the flock.”

3. And don’t miss, Fucking Around The Mall co-written by Tubularsock and Want Moore.

And then it is advised that you take The Tubularsock Workshop on Old Enough To Bleed, Old Enough To Slaughter an Alabama Evangelical Christian teaching of NOT sparing “the rod” with 14 year old girls, amen.