A TUBULARSOCK SOBER 4TH THOUGHT
And in the distant atomic cloud cover one can just start to hear our new Orange Tweet President tweeting:
“LET THEM EAT CAKE!”
And Tubularsock assumes he is speaking of the most “bigly” piece of chocolate cake that is so awesome that it will make ameriKKKa great again!
FOURTH OF JULY, 2016
Oh yeah, The 4th Of July. This country is 240 years old today and as a nation we are doing quite nicely destroying everything our founding fathers philosophically created.
Today we have hit the pinnacle of stupidity by creating a situation where the height of national leadership is between dufus one and dufus two. And because we have discovered a “woman” who is as fuck-up as a “man” we think we have made some sort of progress.
What we have accomplished is the choice to “vote” (a meaningless term, in truth) for TWO EVILS!
Finally we have broken that mold of having to “vote” (a meaningless term, in truth) for the “LESSER” of two evils to the ultimate prize of putting our support toward EVIL!
You have got to admit that that is American Exceptionalism at its finest!
So get out the old red, white, and blue and hang that fucking flag out on your doorstep so at least Tubularsock will know the people to avoid in his neighborhood when he does come out of his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA! (see: The Bunker Tour)
But really, we as a country have made progress. We now know that a “Black-man” is just as fucked up as a “White-man”. And really you can’t trust buying a used car from either.
And speaking about buying, the American pastime (not baseball), we Americans spend over ONE BILLION DOLLARS a year on …… wait for it ……. FIREWORKS! Yep, fireworks. That is according to the APA. Yes, we even have an APA. Oh, in case you were not up on American reality the APA is The American Pyrotechnics Association!
Really, a lobbyist group to advocate for MORE FIREWORK SALES!
And most of these fireworks are imported from China! You know, that country we can’t “trust” so Obummer pivoted toward Asia with our military to ahhh …… hmmm, maybe to protect the APA’s interest.
And this is a business Tubularsock wants to get into. Think about it. Some American smuck will work a twelve hour work day at a job he hates and then goes out and buys a loud, smoky firework that when lit lasts about 6 seconds for $14.95. And he’ll buy eight of them! It would be proper to call him a dumb shit but Tubularsock will refrain from even giving this dumb shit dumb shit recognition!
And to top this bull shit off, Americans love to express patriotism on Independence Day by displaying the stars and stripes. And according to the U.S. Census Bureau the U.S. imports FOUR MILLION DOLLARS worth of American flags from overseas, including $3.6 million from China!
But that is not all folks! According to the National Retail Federation it is expected that the spending on food over the “holiday weekend” will be in the neighborhood of $6.7 billion. That is a lot of fucking hot dogs to choke on! Or maybe Chinese Take-Out to keep with our trend.
And you thought it was all about patriotism didn’t you!
THE LIE IN THE “TRUTH”: OBOMBER ON SYRIA
You know, Tubularsock wasn’t going to bother listening to Obomber’s speech Tuesday night because when it comes to Black Jive I prefer public transportation.
But I found myself tuning in to NPR radio for coverage because I am interested in Presidential-Spin no matter what party is running it. And I wasn’t disappointed.
Two things:
The commentators are in the BIG SLEEP and are piss poor at political coverage with any insight ………. they are very good at status quo! Depressing. Are they affiliated with FOX NEWS now? I guess it is no surprise, Tubularsock wants to go to the White House Press Corps Dinner too! Gosh, with a black tie and a suit prancing around! Could it get any better than that as a “journalist”?
2. There was not ONE, count them ………. NOT ONE point of PROOF that the Assad Government was the one that used Chemical Weapons. Not even a little one. No, Obomber assumed that Assad was guilty without a shred of evidence provided and NO ONE QUESTIONED HIS PREMISE. Even those that were against the action accepted the premise. Disgusting!
Yes, and children frothing at the mouth and the EXCEPTIONALISM of Americans with the ol’ God Bless America conclusion and Tubularsock almost got out his flag to wave next 4th of July with bombs bursting in air.
But the only way that Tubularsock can express this fallacious argument that Obomber is pushing is by this example and maybe those who themselves are in the deep sleep will get just a glimmer of understanding of the Obomber Logic of lie-in-the-”truth”. And perhaps better understand how this entire position was created. So Tubularsock will attempt this Herculean feat with a little allegory.
THE STORY: (all names have been changed to protect the innocent)
Let’s say that Barbrick Insomnia started to have suspicions that Michshella (his wife) was cheating on him. So he asks John Fury to follow Michshella and substantiates what Barbrick KNOWS is happening.
John Fury follows Michshella and she goes to MAIN STREET. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary and he reports back to Barbrick.
Barbrick Insomnia KNOWS that John Fury must be incorrect and tells him to check again. And follow up on this sighting of Michshella on MAIN STREET.
Barbrick then calls his good friend at the N_A (redacted) General Fumbleson and asks him to checkout MAIN STREET and report back to him.
Within minutes of Barbrick’s call to General Fumbleson of the N_A (redacted) and not just minutes AFTER Barbrick hung up the phone BUT just minutes BEFORE he dialed the phone the N_A (redacted) knew the nature of the incoming call and had prepared a full dossier on MAIN STREET.
John Fury returns to Barbrick’s office and reports that once again Michshella was seen on MAIN STREET and there was nothing out of the ordinary that occurred.
Barbrick was so furious that John Fury was taken aback.
The phone rings, not the RED phone but the RED, WHITE, and BLUE phone, and Barbrick knew that the N_A (redacted) was calling with the “known-knowns”!
Note: This following information was given to Tubularsock by a “highly placed government official in the Administration, who is just Biden his time, and is not authorized to speak to the press on this issue.
General Fumbleson from the N_A (redacted) reported that “a foreign person of interest” by the name of ISSAID was on MAIN STREET exactly the same time that Michshella was on MAIN STREET.
It was further disclosed that even though ISSAID was on EAST MAIN STREET and Michshella was on WEST MAIN STREET the link of MAIN STREET indicates that all the signs are present that Michshella and ISSAID were having an affair.
Barbrick was convinced but John Fury felt that as an adviser he must ask at least one probing question. Which was, “Is there concrete proof? Proof beyond a shadow of a doubt?”
General Fumbleson of the N_A (redacted), now on encrypted speaker phone answered,
“Ghrgte fbfgru gkdjdhey nbh jghdtsiwoy kgghff fhdjur!”
Note: Tubularsock has gotten from a well placed N_A (redacted) official that is not authorized to speak to the press on this issue but can verify that this top secret speaker phone encrypted answer is totally the proof needed and can not be told to the public in order to protect them. A relief, for Tubularsock to be told the TRUTH.
Barbrick and John both nodded their collective heads in the affirmative.
Both men agreed that action at this time may not be optimum politically due to the fact that it may look bad for Barbrick Insomnia to expose Michshella while she was in the middle of the Saving-American-Children-From-Being-Fat Campaign.
“In due time”, Barbrick said aloud as he lit his cigarette. “In due time”, echoed John Fury.
TO BE CONTINUED ………..
So remember: There was not ONE point of PROOF that the Assad Government was the one that used Chemical Weapons. Not even a little one. Obomber ASSUMED that Assad was guilty without a shred of evidence provided and NO ONE QUESTIONED HIS PREMISE.
A premise without facts to prove it correct is called A GUESS. And to push A GUESS as the truth is a LIE. How many people do you feel should die for a lie?
Well Tubularsock was just wrapping up his thoughts for another freedom loving night in the United States of America.
So, I ran through my YouTube review because it’s easy.
All the video about cats were all in order.
Sports all cool.
Big tits were exposed as ever.
Monster Trucks running over shit, check!
Then Tubularsock thought he’d check on Syria.
WOW! I GUESS IT MUST NOT BE IMPORTANT.
In the land of the free and the home of the brave we have freedom of thought! Unlike those Russians and those Chinese. American’s have freedom of the press.
