Archive for the ‘Quantitative Easing’ Category

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Now here is something that you won’t believe. Tubularsock has discovered an operative TIME MACHINE. Hey really, it is up and running and YOU haven’t even noticed!

It’s amazing at several levels. First, it’s right in front of you. Second, you don’t have to climb into it. Third, it is operating as Tubularsock writes this information to you.

Fasten your seat belt, expect tubebulence!

It appears to Tubularsock that this new 21st century TIME MACHINE was plugged in a long time ago maybe all the way back to Babbling-Alzheimer-Ridden Reagan but no matter, it is manifesting NOW so that is where we are in TIME MACHINE present moment time!

The United States has become a combination of (perhaps due to cross wiring within the TIME MACHINE)  the end of the Roman Empire combined with the ultimate Fascist State. ( jump back, fucking Hitler!)

The government and the corporation are one and the same, hence: Fascism!

Now, Tubularsock knew there’d be doubters.

Fucking look at the facts …………. everything the United States Government does is TO PROTECT NATIONAL INTERESTS.

Now the American public THINKS that THAT is them but it is not! PROTECT NATIONAL INTERESTS is capitalistic profit and control speak for their profit and their control! That is the reality, period!

The United States Empire Direction is crumbling and this was foretold by putting a BLACK Man in the WHITE House. See the color contrasting problem?

The White Power Structure needed a scapegoat so what better scapegoat than a Black Man. Especially a Black Man who only looks FORWARD! (He’d fucking freak out if that fucker looked back!)

And just like the Roman Empire we have troops and mercenaries throughout the world destabilizing areas so to conquer them as servant-states. (in the old days they were called colonies but we’re past that, we’re modern!)

ALSO our economy and monetary policies are crumbling because we have sunk to a belief that denial is the operative solution.

It is all falling apart as it did for the Romans. Wow, time flies …………

At the same time as the Roman Empire is crumbling (476 C.E.) and the Fascist State is solidifying (1930’s AD) we have a Caliphate forming before our very eyes. We are talking about the 600 BC here!

Wow! This TIME MACHINE is awesome!

No really, tell Tubularsock ……… how often have you seen the fall of the Roman Empire, the rise of the Fascist State and the formation of a Caliphate ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

Which only goes to prove that TIME IS AN ILLUSION.

But this is the 21st Century for Christ sake! Top this:

Add to all of this THE COLD WAR!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, THE COLD WAR too!

You get the fall of the Roman Empire …..

You get the rise of the Fascist State …..

You get the formation of a Caliphate …..

AND THE COLD WAR TOO!

ALL FOR ONE LOW PRICE!

A box set just in time for the holiday season!

And if you act now Tubularsock will toss in ***** AT NO EXTRA CHARGE*****

Joe Biden’s new hit single: “FOLLOW YOU TO THE GATES OF HELL”

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SO ACT NOW  ******* ONLY $19.95

CALL NOW 1 800 BUY-TUBE

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Ok, Tubularsock got a little carried away here. Shows you what happens when the dream of short term profit overcomes long term thinking.

In such a short time period the U.S. came from “saving the world” from the clutches of evil Fascism and destroying Communism to being the ultimate Fascist-Police-State and attempting to bomb-drone-and-torture the world into lockstep-order TO PROTECT OUR NATIONAL INTERESTS.

Well it’s not working. Self interest will win the day and it may be a surprise but other countries in the world have their own self interests too.

It will be fun to see Germany, Russia, and China form an economic bloc. The old day fascists and commies finding their home grown roots against the present day U.S. fascist-police state.

What will the TIME MACHINE  show us next? Just maybe Tubularsock will have figured out the dials and buttons in the TIME MACHINE  by then. Ahh, what adventures await.

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From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

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From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

Lunch

The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

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That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

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However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

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Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

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Stolen

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Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

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(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

Mystery

 

 

 

footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

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PART ONE STORY

 

Part two story

part three story

 

 

 

part four story

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