Archive for the ‘President Elect Tweet’ Category

PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

Translations of above statements:

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRUMP NON-FAKEISH NEWS

Now who can you trust with your news information in today’s ALTURNUT news?

Well there is ONLY ONE clears source!

Why not go to the BOTTOM OF THE BARREL where all news ends up in a brine of truth that ONLY the Tubularsock Unbiased News Service can interpret for you.

Join all the other lost news junkie souls and start Jonesing on the truth!

THIS IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OR ADVERTISEMENT FOR TUNS,LTD.

It is a testimonial of truth …….. hey, Trust Tubularsock …….. he’s deplorable!

tube-heading-breaking-newsBREAKING NEWS-ISH.

THE TUBULARSOCK “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news” NEWS SERVICE has just received information from a high ranking reliable source from the inner circles of the U.S. Government, who has asked not to be identified because he/she/Mx. does not wish to jeopardize their respectable standing in the eyes of the public.

It has just today been decided by the Trump Transition Team to enter the name of Tubularsock for the new cabinet position of SECRETARY OF THE DEPLORABLES.

EDITORS NOTE: Please understand that THE TUBULARSOCK “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news” NEWS SERVICE has no conflict of interest in covering Tubularsock’s own personal political career. There is no favoritism toward Tubularsock from the huge news staff of “Tfhcshn NS” what-so-ever and his incredible insights and qualifications for just about everything can not be exaggerated any more than what Tubularsock does himself. Rest assured that “truth is stranger than fiction”.

It has been discovered that Tubularsock was presented with the news, of his pending cabinet position, in an undisclosed top floor corner office in an underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA (see Bunker Tour) and has accepted the job of going off to the Deplorable Congress to be anointed as Secretary of the Deplorables for our new Deplorable President. Not to be confused with the last Deplorable President who is soon to be off to the West Coast quicker than the time Tubularsock had to BUILD A FUCKING WALL to keep him out!

Many have demanded already that Tubularsock be vetted, unlike all the other cabinet position seekers. Tubularsock has had a rich governmental record during the 2014 Obummer’s cabinet (see SECRETARY OF THE INFERIOR) and was well respected until some “issues” developed. Tubularsock filled the Obummer Cabinet position of Secetary of the Inferior and many feel that the knowledge gleaned by Tubularsock in that position positions him well for being confirmed.

As Senator McCain himself stated, “I see no clear distinction between Inferiors and Deplorables! Tubularsock will make a fine  SECRETARY OF THE DEPLORABLES.” And this is coming from a prisoner-of-war-veteran who made anti-American tapes for the Vet-Cong claiming that American air strikes were directed at schools and hospitals! And then paraded himself in the Ukraine, more recently, with the Neo-Nazis claiming that the CIA had brought democracy to the Ukraine! Now how can you beat integrity like THAT! (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm5Y4D6wY98)

It was reported that Tubularsock had only time to allow Deplorable Trump to ask him to accept the Secretary of the Deplorables job in a CAR MEETING. The photo taken appears to seem like possibly almost a person that looks very much like Tubularsock within the car with Deplorable Trump and has not been confirmed. You be the judge!

TUBE OR NOT TUBE, THAT IS THE QUESTION?

TUBE OR NOT TUBE, THAT IS THE QUESTION?

This is a fast breaking story! Rest assured you’ll be presented with updates ad nauseam !

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Just for the fun of it, let’s say that Tubularsock is going to sell you this car:

A 2017 ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE

A 2017 ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE

And lets say the cost of this PHANTOM was just a little over $430,000.00 and that is with an AM/FM Stereo and an electric ashtray! Oh sure, and automatic windshield wipers.

But if you buy today and pay CASH Tubularsock would sell it TO YOU for $200,000.00!

And you are directed to wire the cash to Tubularsock World Wide Auto Sales Ltd. in Panama.

Simple as that.

And upon receipt and verification of your payment your new ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE will be delivered to your door at no charge.

Deal?

But then you remember what your father always told you: “Read the fine print!”

 

 

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So would you go for the deal?

Or not!

Well that is EXACTLY the deal the United States is offering YOU when it comes to information about this inflated Russian hacking lie!

At the very TOP of the National Cybersecurity & Communications Integration Center – NCCIC and Federal Bureau of Investigation is this disclaimer:

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Which is to say that THEY ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE INFORMATION PROVIDED!

Have any question come to your mind?

Perhaps, Tubularsock’s just sayin’ , if the NCCIC and the FBI are putting out this information about the Russian hacking, THEN just who is responsible for the validity of the information? They say: IT’S NOT US!

But really, in this case it is just an attempt to mislead YOU. It is not a lie, it just doesn’t fit the reality of the situation. It is a cleaver misdirection that looks like there is real information being provided but IT DOESN’T PROVE JACK SHIT!

And THAT is one major problem with the United States of America today …………… NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING!

CONGRESS VOTES TO GIVE THE PRESIDENT THE ABILITY TO KILL PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ….. THEY’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.

A BANK IS DRIVEN INTO BANKRUPTCY AND HAS TO BE BAILED OUT BY “WE THE CITIZENS” ……… THE CEO IS NOT RESPONSIBLE.

BIG PHARMA KILLS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITH THEIR PILLS ……. THEY’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.

THE COPS OPENLY SHOOT PEOPLE IN THE BACK BECAUSE THE COP “FEELS” THREATENED ……….. NOT RESPONSIBLE.

THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY MACHINE CHEAT AND RIG HILLARY’S NOMINATION FOR THE PARTY BUT SHE AND HER CORRUPT CHEATING BAND OF CONSPIRATORS ARE NOT HELD RESPONSIBLE ……. the focus is shifted to the Russians for Christ sake!

NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE, well except for the guy who’s selling cigarettes on the street without a permit. He’s responsible for his CRIME! So much so, that the cops kill him after breaking the police departments own rules. But those cops aren’t held responsible for their own cop rules!

AND NOW TRUMP LIES AND LIES AND LIES AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT’S AN ISSUE?

OH, PLEASE!

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Tube heading news bottomCIA GRABS PUSSY?

You know, after listening to Rex W. Tillerson, Trumps pick for his Secretary of State and Jeff Sessions, Trumps pick for his Attorney General, all Tubularsock has to say at this moment in time is they are as bad as Tubularsock had imagined!

Really, it’s easy to know this because when any hearings are held and the main stream press direct all attention toward AN ALLEGED CLAIM that Donnie was involved in “perverted sexual acts” during stays in Moscow and St. Petersburg in 2013, only means one thing …………….

lookAnd Tillerson and Session must BOTH be EXTREMELY NASTY men if to counter their conformation hearings the powers that be have to come up with the following to focus attention away from them.

Now the question is whether it is Trump trying to divert our attention or Trump’s opponents trying to undermine Trumps ascendancy. Either way we as citizens are fucked!

BuzzFeed News published a longer document than the two-page summary of the unsubstantiated allegations that were presented to Trump and Obama by the CIA, FBI, and the National Security Agency.

It said that “. . . during a 2013 trip to the Russian capital, Trump made Russian prostitutes defile a Ritz-Carlton bed where President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama had stayed on a previous occasion. It said the incident was captured on surveillance cameras.”

The accusations in the BuzzFeed News documents are unconfirmed.

It is true that Trump did travel to Russia in 2013 when he hosted the Miss Universe Pageant there and the Obama’s traveled to Moscow in July 2009. And they all stayed at the Ritz Carlton. But THAT is about all that is true out of this crap!

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Anyone out there that may want to practice a little critical thinking?

Ok. Lets.

In 2013 Donald went to Moscow for the Miss Universe Pageant and not only stayed at the Ritz Carlton Moscow but took it upon himself to stay “in the same room” as the Obama’s had stayed in4-yearsand was able to locate the exact BED the Obama’s had slept in 4 years before and hired a number of RUSSIAN prostitutes “. . . to perform a ‘golden showers’ (urination) show in front of him” ruining the bed!

The Ritz Carlton Moscow was WELL KNOWN to be under FSB control with microphones and concealed cameras in all the main rooms to record anything they wanted to.” (FSB refers to the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation.)

Remember common sense?

Is it logical for a well traveled guy in the limelight to even consider this?

Now Tubularsock doesn’t like Donnie much but this story is beyond dubious

Now to prove Tubularsock’s point …… are you thinking AT ALL about Tillerson and Sessions.

Tubularsock didn’t think so …………………

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Tub heading special reportTHE THEY DID IT!

OH PLEASE ……. SPARE TUBULARSOCK! THE FUCKING RUSSIANS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS ENTIRE ELECTION FRAUD!

Get fucking real ……… The American Political Establishment FUCKED UP! Plain and simple ……. it doesn’t even take a high school diploma to figure this out!

Obama came into office with all the correct words of hope and change and the entire rejection of fucking Bush-shit and then dropped the ball. The only racism that existed in all this is the fact that fucking white people believed that all blacks are good at sports!

Barack is NOT! His dribble, or should that be drivel, is obvious!

The result is the FACT that Obama allowed the Clinton crowd to come in and cover Wall Street’s crimes and bail them out and leave “citizen street” out to dry!

How simple can it be?

Let’s get something straight and clear for history ….. Hillary’s loss HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT SHE IS A WOMAN! PERIOD!

Hillary’s loss had to do with Obama doubled crossed the people that put faith in his words and the fucker didn’t deliver the beef! Plain and simple!

The Democratic Party Establishment was so self-centered that they forgot the PEOPLE and lost themselves in the elitism of their own closed structure!

Really, this is not fucking rocket science …………

Come on, Hillary and the DNC cheated and double-crossed a morally superior candidate and cheated him out of a fair chance at the nomination and this is blamed on the Russians? Do you mean to tell Tubularsock that it takes the Russians to expose this travesty?

Well if so, thank you Vlad!

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But that is not he case ………

According to the WashingtonBlog 12/12/16, and this is the WashingtonBlog (NOT The Washington Post —-the CIA mouth piece)”The former intelligence analyst, British Ambassador to Uzbekistan, and chancellor of the University of Dundee, Craig Murray” has stated, “he knows for a fact that there were no hacks at all … instead, an American insider leaked the information to Wikileaks”.

There is a BIG difference between Hacking and Insider Leaking!

This entire Russian Hacking thing is just a diversion. So often, and this is no exception, one has to read The New York Times articles to their very end. They start with,

“American intelligence agencies have told the White House they have “high confidence” that the Russian government was behind the theft of emails and documents from the Democratic National Committee. …”

BUT IT ISN’T TILL THE END OF THE ARTICLE THAT IT STATES, “But the campaign officials acknowledge that they have no evidence.”

THEY HAVE NO EVIDENCE!

So at this time you may want to ask the question, Just where does this “HIGH CONFIDENCE” come from ……. easy, from what they have been smoking at the CIA!

And just a reminder in case you have forgotten …… one of the CIA’s major jobs has been to undermine fair democratic elections all around the world from its early history in post-war Europe to Cold War campaigns in Central and South America.

So the question you must preface your own thoughts with in this matter is, “What’s the deal going down that brings the CIA out to make a case for it?”

“It (the CIA) isn’t some sort of right wing agency, it is an agency filled with bright people with beliefs across the mainstream political spectrum—many of the CIA’s anti-democratic coups have occurred under Democratic presidents, carried out by liberal CIA operatives; but most significantly the CIA is part of the deep state.” (David Price, Counterpunch 12/12/16)

And let Tubularsock suggest that you get all gussied-up for the Inaugural Ball so you can be right there at the outset to watch the torch be passed for ROME TO BURN!

Tubularsock will bring the hot dogs.

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BLIND TRUST FANTASY 

There has been an outcry by many that President Elect Tweet put his businesses not just into his family’s control but place his entire business assets and investments into a blind trust.

And this has always sounded good for people who know insider deals about to happen to not be able to use that information to feather their own family nest.

And it seems like the perfect solution, doesn’t it?

Well it is a silly cover …….

Let Tubularsock give you a typical Tubularsock Example.

Tubularsock takes all his money and invests in Atomic-Ping-Pong-Balls. Yes, it is a futuristic concept which may or may not even work.

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Because it is a new investment “opportunity” the share price is $3.00 a share. And Tubularsock buys 500,000 shares. That means that Tubularsock’s total cost is $1 and a half million. (remember this is an example and Tubularsock’s current “funds” fall a bit short of this amount.)

Then Tubularsock goes off to Washington, D.C. as President or Senator or even a member of the House of Representatives.

And a blind trust is set up “in good faith” to show no conflict of interest. (Horse-shit, to coin an economic phrase that fits the bill.)

Now remember, this is a simple straight forward example but the idea can be perfected a number of ways and the end result is controlled wealth accumulation with the advantage of the fantasy of no conflict of interest.

So to make this example more realistic let’s take Tubularsock’s name out of the equation and in its place substitute the name of say, ahhh …. Senator McNUT.

Now Senator McNUT works the system in the Senate and gets a plum committee chairmanship. This may take a couple of years or even less depending on his value to his party but in time he is made Chairman of  the Advanced Military Systems Committee.

And because of his position and influence (due to the fact that other Senators are busy doing the same type of scam) McNUT puts forth and fast-tracks a new weapon known as APPB Munitions.

And through “deal-making” gets the Committee to vote this new futuristic weapon into existence and moves it through to passage.
Now remember, Atomic-Ping-Pong-Balls may not even work BUT this is the Federal Government and all that is needed to be said that, it is “believed” that APPB could STOP terrorism!

Of course, outside the Washington bubble Atomic-Ping-Pong-Balls stock takes a leap upward. Upon passage the stock jumps to $10 a share! OR $5 million for blind trust McNUT.

Now this continues and say Atomic-Ping-Pong-Balls actually kind-of-works. Well remember this is the Federal Government so additional contracts are given for APPB and the price per share jumps to $33 a share due to a “maybe” break threw and Senator McNUT’s investment increases to $16 million 500 thousand.

Are you getting the point. And lets say Senator McNut did this with just five defense products ……. early retirement, yes?

The manipulation is done wide open and the “blind-trust” really is a “BLIND-BLING”

And the BLIND BLING works at many levels. The Clinton Foundation is a wonderful BLIND BLING. You’ll be noticing Obummer’s speech circuit after he leaves office as how the BLIND BLING works, Michelle’s as well.

The “pay-off” comes AFTER! It is a POSTED DATED BRIBE and it is deemed A-OK with the established power elite. Hey, that is how American Democracy is done!

AND THE BEAT GOES ON ………………..

Should you worry about the SWAMP THAT TWEET’S CREATING?

FUCK YEAH!

But before the fucking clinton-obama holier than thou crescendo reaches a greater volume ….. reflect on THIS BLIND BLING CON.

Now reread Tubularsock’s thoughts …… TRUTH CAN BE FOUND IN A LOST WORLD!

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Tube book headingLEARNING CURVE 3

FOREIGN POLICY

If there isn’t a crisis, it appears, there isn’t any news! So right there you can see that it’s still all the same no matter how much you protest.

President Elect Tweet’s transition team is like a “war zone”!

Who is in?

Who is out?

It is no surprise that “draining the swamp” is way more difficult in reality than in rhetoric and trying to keep “lobbyists” out of positions is like going to a snake farm and hoping for no snakes.

And having President Elect Tweet express that “Only he knows the finalists” to be chosen with names ricocheting around the press like firing a shotgun in a steel box doesn’t provide much stability.

Oh well, what good is a cabinet anyway when the guy shoots from the hip. Tubularsock figures it’s at least somebody he can talk to.

The best thing is getting his kids cleared for government secrets. He seems to at least trust them so in order to have open discussions and not end up like Hillary and her open-to-all internet server President Elect Tweet is protecting himself upfront.

The speculation from EVERY direction will keep this process hopping for weeks and the one interesting thing about short-attention-span-Tweet is that he will “fire” any of the “chosen ones” at a drop of a Make America Great Again hat!

But no matter, Tubularsock is conducting his third lesson directing President Elect Tweet with a step into a Foreign Policy/Domestic Policy combo. This will help Tweet understand that there is a connection with what happens outside the country and what happens inside the country. This a big step for President Elect Tweet but after all it IS our third lesson!

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HALLELUJAH!

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Tube smoke cafe HeadingLEARNING CURVE 2

Now Tubularsock is proud to announce to all you Americans out there not to worry. As you may recall Tubularsock has been hired to tutor President Elect Tweet in some simple governmental tactical issues to better prepare him to lead our questionable great nation.

Tubularsock is collecting his salary per single instruction for two very solid reasons. First, “our leader” has a short attention span so he may just stop wanting instruction and second President Elect Tweet at times, in his past dealings with workers, ran out on the bill.

Tubularsock in the last instructional lesson used the tactile method of learning by not only conveying the existence of Congress but by having Tweet “FEEL” the bricks and mortar. And on top of that President Elect Tweet took and past the True or False Quiz on the existence of Congress.

SO FAR, SO GOOD!

Now on to lesson two ………….looklike-senator-tube

We are taking baby steps to insure comprehension.

Tubepensig