Archive for the ‘JEFF SESSIONS’ Category

THE DEAD CAN DANCE MIDTERMS

Now here is a happy election note for one to play on their Horny-Trumpet!

It appears that Dennis Hof, the Trump-Ass-Hole-Like brothel owner, a true total PIG of a man, won his Nevada’s 36th Assembly District by a LANDSLIDE victory.

And it really shows the depth of intelligence of the Republicans in Nevada’s 36th Assembly District because HE’S DEAD!

Yep, Dennis died three weeks BEFORE the election after his celebrating his 72nd birthday by OVER partying.

But even though he was dead the Republicans in the district voted to have him represent them by 63% of the vote.

Maybe because they are DUMB or maybe because they had voted overwhelmingly for another loser a couple of years back, Donnie Trump.

But there is an argument to be made that the Republican’s in the 36th Assembly District voted for the dead Hof in order not to flip the seat to the Democrats. Which may be a possibility. And this could hold water for Tubularsock except Tubularsock has been in this part of Nevada and brilliance is not a strong suit!

But Tubularsock will give them this; that in the 36th Assembly District they would have been better off electing a rattle snake rather than a gross dead pig!

 

Now both Dennis and Donnie had a lot in common.

First they BOTH are 72. Hmmm. Maybe that’s a sign.

And second, Dennis wrote a book, “The Art of the Pimp” (Tubularsock is not kidding here) based on Donnie’s “The Art of the Deal”.

Damn they are like brothers! Both FAT, STUPID, and INTELLECTUALLY VOID!

But why should those qualities stand in the way of a Republican?

You see Republicans in this election went ahead and voted in two other Republican candidates that have current Indictments against them.

Rep. Duncan Hunter (R), 50th District of California with a 60-count indictment on felony charges of wire fraud and campaign finance violations.

Rep. Chris Collins (R), 27th District of New York with an indictment on federal insider trading charges.

But hey, crooks have to make a living too! Why not have them represent you in government with their friends.

Once people get an eye opening event with the Trump tax returns …….. will any of the Republicans even take note?

Ok maybe a C-note. It’s par for the Republican mind set.

Now don’t get Tubularsock wrong here. All this is not to say that the Republicans are the only ones that have dirty laundry.

The Clinton’s are right up there with the Republican criminal element for sure. They all belong to the same social circles and private clubs and even play golf together at times.

And no surprise, the people that AREN’T in those circles are YOU and your friends!

BUT IT’S YOU that pays the price …….. do you get that, yet?

 

So now we have the dead being elected and the voters with their addresses listed as the local cemetery must be voting for their own kind.

So all this “voter fraud” being bantered around is really only sour grapes because the dead representatives are just being elected by the cemetery crowd and thereby just being supportive of their base!

Ahhhh ………. all’s good with democracy!

 

Advertisements

JEFF SESSIONS, GOAT FUCKER?

 

It has been many years now that Tubularsock was wandering Europe. But all of this Naziesque crap being directed by OrangeTurd and his trusty companion BibleThumper Jeff has brought back a long forgotten conversation.

Tubularsock was driving through Germany with a trusted friend. We were taking the “slow” way through the German hinterland and was driving through the Black Forest area with no real destination in mind.

The evergreen forests and picturesque villages were right out of a “living” traveler guidebook. An amazing area of Germany to visit especially if you are a meandering traveler.

It was there, sitting in the car at a pullout that our conversation began. If we had been German citizens during the rise of Hitler and if we had been living in this area of German, just how knowledgeable would we have been about Auschwitz in Poland and what was happening in Germany at large as well?

As the hate and fear was propagated that “others” were not worthy of our concern just how shutdown to this oncoming evil would we have grokked?

Tubularsock has many German friends that have stated that their parent’s generation, after the war, would NOT EVEN discuss this subject or explain how they had been duped by Hitler and his hate filled belief system. The shame was too great and they didn’t want to explain their role of even being citizens in that mess.

Jump to Jeff Session interpreting the Bible, Romans 13 suggesting that God supports the government in separating immigrant parents from their children.

 

And it looks to Tubularsock that Jeff has as much knowledge as Tubularsock has about Biblical interpretation when Tubularsock interprets Isaiah 11:6 “. . . the leopard will lie down with the goat . . .” to mean that Jeff Sessions fucks goats!

Now, Tubularsock may not be the best Biblical scholar, however, it just goes to show you that Jeff too is rather selective at cherry picking passages of the Bible for his own political purposes. Shame on you Jeff, you old goat fucker!

 

And then we have Plastic Melania in her “I Don’t Care, Do U” coat going off to see the children in jail to bestow her “motherly love” with her magic wand.

Leaving Barron home alone with his unstable Orange-“father”.

Poor, Poor Barron, assumed to have been born from a turkey baster impregnation so Plastic Mom didn’t have to have that gross Fat-Orange-Body thrusting and panting attempting to get a hard on to do the job.

 

FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!

 

Wow, speaking of child molestation! Can you imagine having to be trapped in a “family” with Donald Jr., Ivanka, and Eric!

Tiffany is not so bad.

But leave it to Peter Fonda to hit the nail on the head with his tweet calling for Barron to be “. . . ripped from his mother’s arms and put in a cage with pedophiles.”

Of course, Peter apologized later saying he had been upset over Trump’s Policy and he had “. . . tweeted something highly inappropriate and vulgar about the president and his family in response to the devastating images I was seeing on television.”

OH CONTRAIR!

The pedophile part WAS a little bit over the top but at least the cage would help protect Barron from Plastic-mom, Orange-dad, and the evil Munchkins!

But unlike the children stolen from their parents at the border Plastic-mom had the U.S. Secret Service notified. Some kids warrant special attention.

 

FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!

 

So Plastic-I-Don’t-Care wanted to see for herself what was happening to the imprisoned children of Latin American descent so, if you can believe this, she was sent to a facility opened to the first lady which was, of course, selected keeping in mind the press would be accompanying her.

“Other such facilities around the country have denied access to Democratic lawmakers and media”.

You know, like any good DEMOCRATIC society would do. Prevent Congress from representing the people they are supposed to represent and be the eyes of the people. Republicans are prevented as well. You know, to keep it fair.

Well, it sure fooled Plastic I-Don’t-Care!

Tubularsock is sure that everyone was on best behavior for the Plastic-Lady! She thanked everyone for a job well done and then got into her jet and flew back to Washington, D.C.

She left with her parting words that the U.S. should “govern with heart”!

And Tubularsock agrees and just maybe it has come time to pull that used heart of Dick Cheney and plant it into Donald. That heart never seemed to work for Cheney anyway.

The Nazi mind set is running again and the American public can be awakened to the possible further destruction of what is left of American Values which weren’t that strong to begin with or we can watch the edges of the toilet bowl as we all swirl down into the depth of the Black Forest never to be seen again.

 

It actually is up to US!

Trump has embarrassed the United States of America in the World and as his Scottish-born mother’s relatives have stated: “His Mother had been acutely embarrassed by the antics of her fourth child during the 1990s when his failing marriage and business were the subject of intense tabloid scrutiny.

Mary Trump died in 2000, but if his mother was upset with his crap in the 1990’s she must be turning over in her grave NOW!

And as for dear daddy, Fred C. Trump with his German ancestry as a nap-sack was arrested at a Ku Klux Klan riot in New York in 1927, records reveal. He died in 1999.

 

Need Tubularsock say more? The racist apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree, now has it!

 

LOCK THE CHILDREN UP, NOW!

Lets get something straight ……….. taking children from their parents after crossing the border seeking asylum is against EVERYTHING this country has ever stood for and yet Jeff Sessions, John Kelly and Dumbtrump and those Republican’ts that support them are breaking the LAW OF HUMAN DECENCY. (AGAIN!)

White House chief of staff John Kelly told NPR’s John Burnett earlier this month that “the children will be taken care of — put into foster care or whatever”.

AND YET 1500 children that were taken into custody ARE UNACCOUNTED FOR and nobody knows where they are or where they were sent!

WHAT THE FUCK?

Is this country THAT DYSFUNCTIONAL?

The U.S. is obligated to accept asylum-seekers under U.S. and international law if they can show a “credible fear” of persecution or torture.

There IS NO LAW that “. . . even remotely requires the separation of children (from their parents), and we filed a recent lawsuit arguing, in fact, that the Constitution prohibits this policy.” (According to the ACLU.)

The practice of putting children “. . . into foster care or whatever” was something that was being done when children arrived at our boarders UNACCOMPANIED but was not intended to be used for children who arrived with their parents.

That policy was CREATED by Sessions and OrangeDump NOT the Democraps!

Of course, OrangeDump is out there on his soap box blaming the Democraps but this time it is just not true. Pretty much like all things OrangeDump says. But who even counts anymore?

In an interview with NPR in May, White House chief of staff John Kelly described family separation as a “tough deterrent.” And that is from a guy who lost his own son so you’d think he’d have a better understanding and compassion for the loss of a child. But no, he doesn’t seem to get it no matter how often he visits his son’s grave in Arlington Cemetery.

Hey John, you may want to ask your wife about a loss of a son. Just another “tough deterrent” …… right John?

Like Tubularsock has said before and will repeat ad nauseam, the reason so many Latin Americans are fleeing for protection from their countries is because of the destructive U.S. foreign policies toward Latin America which have been going on for years.

Those policies have lead to the causes of a massive exodus from Latin America and according to government data shows that most of the children traveling alone and families traveling together from Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala, are fleeing drug cartels, gang violence and domestic abuse. As well as the dictators the U.S. installed while “influencing” their elections.

 

But COMPASSION is not one of Jeff Sessions and Dumps strong suits. Perhaps due to poor potty training in their formative years.

Holding in shit for that many years can cause a continuous flow in pseudo-adulthood.

 

PRESENT AT THE CREATION

Tubularsock was sitting in his Corner Office In His Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. (see BUNKER TOUR for background) and pondering the absurd world we find ourselves.

But hey, what in the fuck would you expect if in each last election you had to vote for the “lessor of the two evils”!

 

 

It is just logical that in time you’d have to reach the bottom of the barrel, RIGHT?

And the real scary thing is that Orange Fuck and his deranged offspring and his third plastic wife may not be at the bottom.

Think about it! Makes WW3 look better already, doesn’t it!

 

 

So is there a way out?

So kick back and think of your options.

Sure Tubularsock has some options to suggest.

And remember these are only for fun, not real change.

 

 

First: We grab Pussy-Whipped-Session’s and give him a marijuana suppository to loosen up his dysfunctional brain and bring him into the 21st century!

Second: We remove the Christian Cross turned sideways from Pence’s ass to relieve the pressure on his brain as he waits for the second coming.

And Third ……. oh hell you come up with one! After all isn’t that what democracy is all about?

 

 

 

 

 

a functioning america?: dumb, dumber, dumbest . . .

OH COME ON …… IS THIS REALLY TRUE?

When Tubularsock saw this, immediately doubt was the reaction.

Now, it is not that Tubularsock has any doubt what-so-ever that Donnie can’t tie his own shoes but Tubularsock had to do some research about this Newsweek article. First Tubularsock hates Newsweek and doesn’t trust much of what they say but also because of the stupidity of ALL of the Trumps’ and inability to tie their own shoes was a little too much.

Hell, Melania and Ivanka wear slip-on for Christ sake!

But alas, life is stranger than fiction.

It has been disclosed by the New York City Board of Elections that due to the lack of a 3rd grade level of intelligence the Trumps couldn’t vote for the Mayor of New York because………….

Donnie while filling in his absentee ballot put down the WRONG DATE FOR HIS OWN BIRTHDAY! You know, how June and July look alike, right?

Melania wrote in under “county”, USA rather than New York and then proceeded to NOT SIGN the inner envelope as instructed to do for mail-in absentee ballots.

She is one of those immigrants that climbed the wall so at least it is somewhat understandable.

Ivanka filled out her ballot properly but didn’t mail it in on time.

And Jared, not being a “real-Trump” didn’t vote at all.

Now don’t let it bother you that:

Sure the beat goes on.

SPEAKING OF VOTING.

You have seen that Doug Jones won the Alabama Senate seat from the pedophile Moore who got less of the votes.

Moore who got less wants a recount.

But Alabama’s Secretary of State John Merrill has stated that Moore with less could have a recount if he paid for it.

But here is Tubularsock’s question:

Just how will the recount be counted?

Tubularsock assumes that the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that way because they thought the vote would be close and it would be Doug Jones wanting the recount.

Maybe that old good-ol’-boy system is going to take a hit!

 

Before the election Mitch McConnell suggested that PedoMoore should step down from running and head back to the mall and chase 14 year old virgins full time (or something like that) but then the Pussy-Grabbing-President-Dump put his full support behind Moore and then Mitch switched! (this all sounds a little gay to Tubularsock ….. just sayin’)

Mitch suggested that “IT WAS UP TO ALABAMANS TO CHOOSE THEIR SENATOR TO REPRESENT THEM IN THE U.S SENATE”!

But wouldn’t you know. Now that Alabamans have chosen their Senator to represent them, Mitch McConnell now is attempting to NOT ALLOW Doug Jones into the Senate to REPRESENT THE PEOPLE OF ALABAMA until after the tax robbery bill is voted on.

It’s called democracy.

A TUBULARSOCK EXCLUSIVE:
NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

Ok as usual, Tubularsock has an insider’s perspective into the current administration being that as Secretary of the Deplorables Tubularsock is on the “right” side of the right government policies of The Super-Bigly Great Orange One!

Rumor has it that Tubularsock has positioned himself in the current West Wing of the White House in the boiler-room where he has control of the heating and cooling of the building. Being the ONLY member of the current administration that knows the secret codes for the indoor environment of the White House puts Tubularsock in an enviable power position.

So when it was reviled by the New York Signs, a hostile progressive publication, that the
Secretary of the Deplorables had been subpoenaed by Robert Mueller much anticipation was anticipated. And as that anticipated anticipation grew the left-stream-press concluded that Russia was involved!

 

As Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news”, a non-biased news outlet has reported through an official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to speak to the media, that Russia may have a relationship with the Secretary of the Deplorables but this was denied by the administration.

However it was noted by a former Secret Service agent who did not wish to be identified that some ties with the Russian Government may be true. Some documentation was procured from this individual as seen below.

 

“I hasten to point out that in no sense do I claim the ideas I am submitting are a real thing. They constitute a theory, not a thesis”, stated the former Secret Service agent.

But an American official familiar with the talks with Mueller, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly stated, “some pictures are really worth a thousand words”.

Yet the investigation conducted by the sharp-eyed-reporters from Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news”, a non-biased news outlet has produced an actual photograph that may add some light to the Trump-Tube Russian connection.

 

Now sure Felix Sater has Russian connections! Hell, he’s Russian!

When asked, Tubularsock, Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, stated, “Felix Sater is a Russian-American gangster of the old school. You know, a classical American tradition type Eliot Ness gangster. It is this solid American criminal tradition that our President believes in …… make  America Great again!”

Felix Sater has deep financial connections to Trump and to Russia. Felix Sater has been a friend of Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen since childhood, and is an important Trump business partner who worked out of Trump Tower.

But funny, when Donald was asked about his connections with Felix, Trump said, “I’m not that familiar with him.”

Which would be expected for Trump to say especially after his associate Felix Sater, described his ambitions in emails to Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen.

In those emails Sater states, “Our boy can become president of the USA and we can engineer it. I will get all of Putins team to buy in on this, I will manage this process.” (New York Times … for real!)

So we all have, so far, three possible Russian connections with Trump.

The first is the meeting in Trump Tower between Russian agents and Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner.

The second connection is the attempt by Republican operative Peter W. Smith to obtain Hillary Clinton’s emails through Russian hackers. According to The Wall Street Journal “Robert Mueller is investigating Michael Flynn’s connection to this operation”.

And the third connection is Felix Sater.

Looks like a full plate.

 

But in truth the Russian connection is there but it is mostly bullshit. The real deal is going to be the evidence that is being collected on financial crimes, including potential money laundering that is where Donald and his family are going to go down!

 

 

 

JEFF SESSIONS THE DEVIL YOU SAY!

Well it looks like the “devil” is knocking on little-prick-jeff-sessions “back door” sort of speak. Tubularsock has always said that those overly pious, God-fearing Christians should NEVER bend over anywhere near Trump!

Well little jeffy did bend over a few times and still would “butt” he may be packing his bags soon.

However, Tubularsock does give credit to little jeffy for recusing himself from the on going Russian investigation as he should have done and did EVEN at the expense of Orange-Tweet’s wrath. Legally as well as ethically it was required so Sessions’ gets a gold star for that!

Yet he is still a little-stale-racist-white-cracker none the less and Tubularsock will be happy to see him go.

But Tubularsock will be glad to bring  jeffy over to the nearest Black Christian LGBT pot smoking party and introduce him to new friends. Hey, Tubularsock doesn’t hold a grudge ……………………….

You know little jeffy will be so much happier taking his dominatrix wife and himself back to Alabama and leave Trump’s cyberbullying. Oh sure he’ll miss it but maybe he’ll just be better off in his home territory and away from the evils of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Hell, Orange-Tweet plays hard ball!