Archive for the ‘JEFF SESSIONS’ Category

PRESENT AT THE CREATION

Tubularsock was sitting in his Corner Office In His Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. (see BUNKER TOUR for background) and pondering the absurd world we find ourselves.

But hey, what in the fuck would you expect if in each last election you had to vote for the “lessor of the two evils”!

 

 

It is just logical that in time you’d have to reach the bottom of the barrel, RIGHT?

And the real scary thing is that Orange Fuck and his deranged offspring and his third plastic wife may not be at the bottom.

Think about it! Makes WW3 look better already, doesn’t it!

 

 

So is there a way out?

So kick back and think of your options.

Sure Tubularsock has some options to suggest.

And remember these are only for fun, not real change.

 

 

First: We grab Pussy-Whipped-Session’s and give him a marijuana suppository to loosen up his dysfunctional brain and bring him into the 21st century!

Second: We remove the Christian Cross turned sideways from Pence’s ass to relieve the pressure on his brain as he waits for the second coming.

And Third ……. oh hell you come up with one! After all isn’t that what democracy is all about?

 

 

 

 

 

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a functioning america?: dumb, dumber, dumbest . . .

OH COME ON …… IS THIS REALLY TRUE?

When Tubularsock saw this, immediately doubt was the reaction.

Now, it is not that Tubularsock has any doubt what-so-ever that Donnie can’t tie his own shoes but Tubularsock had to do some research about this Newsweek article. First Tubularsock hates Newsweek and doesn’t trust much of what they say but also because of the stupidity of ALL of the Trumps’ and inability to tie their own shoes was a little too much.

Hell, Melania and Ivanka wear slip-on for Christ sake!

But alas, life is stranger than fiction.

It has been disclosed by the New York City Board of Elections that due to the lack of a 3rd grade level of intelligence the Trumps couldn’t vote for the Mayor of New York because………….

Donnie while filling in his absentee ballot put down the WRONG DATE FOR HIS OWN BIRTHDAY! You know, how June and July look alike, right?

Melania wrote in under “county”, USA rather than New York and then proceeded to NOT SIGN the inner envelope as instructed to do for mail-in absentee ballots.

She is one of those immigrants that climbed the wall so at least it is somewhat understandable.

Ivanka filled out her ballot properly but didn’t mail it in on time.

And Jared, not being a “real-Trump” didn’t vote at all.

Now don’t let it bother you that:

Sure the beat goes on.

SPEAKING OF VOTING.

You have seen that Doug Jones won the Alabama Senate seat from the pedophile Moore who got less of the votes.

Moore who got less wants a recount.

But Alabama’s Secretary of State John Merrill has stated that Moore with less could have a recount if he paid for it.

But here is Tubularsock’s question:

Just how will the recount be counted?

Tubularsock assumes that the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that way because they thought the vote would be close and it would be Doug Jones wanting the recount.

Maybe that old good-ol’-boy system is going to take a hit!

 

Before the election Mitch McConnell suggested that PedoMoore should step down from running and head back to the mall and chase 14 year old virgins full time (or something like that) but then the Pussy-Grabbing-President-Dump put his full support behind Moore and then Mitch switched! (this all sounds a little gay to Tubularsock ….. just sayin’)

Mitch suggested that “IT WAS UP TO ALABAMANS TO CHOOSE THEIR SENATOR TO REPRESENT THEM IN THE U.S SENATE”!

But wouldn’t you know. Now that Alabamans have chosen their Senator to represent them, Mitch McConnell now is attempting to NOT ALLOW Doug Jones into the Senate to REPRESENT THE PEOPLE OF ALABAMA until after the tax robbery bill is voted on.

It’s called democracy.

A TUBULARSOCK EXCLUSIVE:
NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

Ok as usual, Tubularsock has an insider’s perspective into the current administration being that as Secretary of the Deplorables Tubularsock is on the “right” side of the right government policies of The Super-Bigly Great Orange One!

Rumor has it that Tubularsock has positioned himself in the current West Wing of the White House in the boiler-room where he has control of the heating and cooling of the building. Being the ONLY member of the current administration that knows the secret codes for the indoor environment of the White House puts Tubularsock in an enviable power position.

So when it was reviled by the New York Signs, a hostile progressive publication, that the
Secretary of the Deplorables had been subpoenaed by Robert Mueller much anticipation was anticipated. And as that anticipated anticipation grew the left-stream-press concluded that Russia was involved!

 

As Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news”, a non-biased news outlet has reported through an official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to speak to the media, that Russia may have a relationship with the Secretary of the Deplorables but this was denied by the administration.

However it was noted by a former Secret Service agent who did not wish to be identified that some ties with the Russian Government may be true. Some documentation was procured from this individual as seen below.

 

“I hasten to point out that in no sense do I claim the ideas I am submitting are a real thing. They constitute a theory, not a thesis”, stated the former Secret Service agent.

But an American official familiar with the talks with Mueller, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak publicly stated, “some pictures are really worth a thousand words”.

Yet the investigation conducted by the sharp-eyed-reporters from Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news”, a non-biased news outlet has produced an actual photograph that may add some light to the Trump-Tube Russian connection.

 

Now sure Felix Sater has Russian connections! Hell, he’s Russian!

When asked, Tubularsock, Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, stated, “Felix Sater is a Russian-American gangster of the old school. You know, a classical American tradition type Eliot Ness gangster. It is this solid American criminal tradition that our President believes in …… make  America Great again!”

Felix Sater has deep financial connections to Trump and to Russia. Felix Sater has been a friend of Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen since childhood, and is an important Trump business partner who worked out of Trump Tower.

But funny, when Donald was asked about his connections with Felix, Trump said, “I’m not that familiar with him.”

Which would be expected for Trump to say especially after his associate Felix Sater, described his ambitions in emails to Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen.

In those emails Sater states, “Our boy can become president of the USA and we can engineer it. I will get all of Putins team to buy in on this, I will manage this process.” (New York Times … for real!)

So we all have, so far, three possible Russian connections with Trump.

The first is the meeting in Trump Tower between Russian agents and Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner.

The second connection is the attempt by Republican operative Peter W. Smith to obtain Hillary Clinton’s emails through Russian hackers. According to The Wall Street Journal “Robert Mueller is investigating Michael Flynn’s connection to this operation”.

And the third connection is Felix Sater.

Looks like a full plate.

 

But in truth the Russian connection is there but it is mostly bullshit. The real deal is going to be the evidence that is being collected on financial crimes, including potential money laundering that is where Donald and his family are going to go down!

 

 

 

JEFF SESSIONS THE DEVIL YOU SAY!

Well it looks like the “devil” is knocking on little-prick-jeff-sessions “back door” sort of speak. Tubularsock has always said that those overly pious, God-fearing Christians should NEVER bend over anywhere near Trump!

Well little jeffy did bend over a few times and still would “butt” he may be packing his bags soon.

However, Tubularsock does give credit to little jeffy for recusing himself from the on going Russian investigation as he should have done and did EVEN at the expense of Orange-Tweet’s wrath. Legally as well as ethically it was required so Sessions’ gets a gold star for that!

Yet he is still a little-stale-racist-white-cracker none the less and Tubularsock will be happy to see him go.

But Tubularsock will be glad to bring  jeffy over to the nearest Black Christian LGBT pot smoking party and introduce him to new friends. Hey, Tubularsock doesn’t hold a grudge ……………………….

You know little jeffy will be so much happier taking his dominatrix wife and himself back to Alabama and leave Trump’s cyberbullying. Oh sure he’ll miss it but maybe he’ll just be better off in his home territory and away from the evils of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Hell, Orange-Tweet plays hard ball!

 

TUBE’S SESSIONS IN SESSIONS

OK! Tubularsock will admit this right up front. Jeff Sessions reminds Tubularsock of a child molester and then again when he is with his wife …. dominatrix comes to mind!

Now, of course, that is not to say that they have anything to do with either but that is what comes to Tubularsock’s mind when he see them. And some have said that “Tubularsock has some fucked up mind” and Tubularsock won’t argue that but that is what comes to some people’s minds which puts them into the same conjecture mentality as Tubularsock.

But, besides “MARY, BEAT ME BEAT ME”, what is it having Congress create a committee to investigate much of anything when they themselves conduct compromised lives? Because as can be shown, 98% of Congressional Committees waste a huge amount of time and money and produce, well NOT EVEN GOOD TV!

In fact, why not just let the lobbyists, that write up the legislation, just do a night shift and do committee work as well. Seriously, Congress is only in session (depending on the year and the chamber) around 170 days a year. This could be a part time gig for some ambitious lobbyist. And just think how better it would all work due to the Holy Grail of the “free market system”! Outsource Congress, maybe to Russia. Shit, save a lot of time!

If there is ever ANYTHING that the public should know then they call for a closed door session because of NATIONAL SECURITY! Which means that our enemies already know, and the Congressional Committees knows, and the White House knows BUT THE PUBLIC DOESN’T! And then the citizen still really believes that the people in a democracy are the government? Clears that fantasy up, now doesn’t it!

So what really just happened:

Combine the $17,444.00 for salaries of the 16 members of the Senate Intelligence Committee for the “day” and the salary of Attorney General Jeff Sessions for the “day” to sit and talk about absolutely NOTHING of any value to anyone. That is almost $3000.00 an hour!

Now that is just the cost for the primary members of the charade. That does not cover the cost for all of the aides necessary around each member to carry their pencils. Or the cost of the space and the janitorial services necessary to clean up after these assholes!

Plus all the other perks these fuckers get to do nothing of value.

DO YOU KNOW anything more than you did before they started? Of course that is if you took the time to watch it. But why would you. It is best to wait and let the talking heads on your TV make believe that some drama had occurred. NOTHING HAPPENED! Never does.

Senate “Intelligence” Committee Chairman Richard Burr (R-N.C.) left and Vice Chairman Mark R. Warner (D-Va.)

And let’s for the fun of it say we found out that they (whoever that is) DID IT (whatever that was) would anyone be held accountable. THE ANSWER IS NO! Oh sure, maybe some janitor who happened to leak something …… he’d get life!

WHAT A DISH OF HORSE SHIT! Would you care for mustard with that?

But of course this WASN’T a Blue Ribbon Committee. Now those cost more, last longer, and cover their finding in book binding. AND THEY substantiate the fabrication of the narrative THEY want you to believe.

Take for example the Warren Commission Report or even worse the Report On 9/11 both are worthless and off track from what actually happened. BUT THEY ARE VERY COMFORTING TO KEEP THE LIE ALIVE.

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SOME THINGS ARE JUST TRUE!

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