Archive for the ‘American Exceptionalism’ Category

 

OUTSOURCED ARMY

THEY HAVE TO BE KIDDING!

Orange Tweet is really an inspiration for the advancement of stupidity. No not because of his tweet attention-span, nor his small limp hands and bigly butt. No those are just side line embarrassing.

When President Orange Tweet says he wants to make America Great Again he doesn’t mean 1940’s or 1950’s GREAT! No he means British Empire Great like 17 and 18 hundreds GREAT! Viceroy Great. And who says you can’t go backward!

And you all know how the “free market system” works right? You know competition brings the price down, right? And because of that, government needs to “privatize” many of its agencies because the private sector can do it cheaper than the government can do it.

Take for example, WAR. If the United States privatizes its military then what money we can all save ……… such a deal.

Now this isn’t a Trump idea. He doesn’t have the ability to think let alone creatively. No this goes way back as far as war itself. Some people fight and some people supply the fighters. And just for fun, stop and guess who gets rich and who gets dead.

And the capitalistic system has improved upon this basic idea a thousand fold by adding the investing class to the mix. Now there are those who fight the war, those who supply the fighters, AND those who INVEST in the suppliers who supply the fighter who fight the war. See, that is called capitalism because the investing class are even further away from being dead from war but profit the most from it. Clever yes?

Now check this out. The military-industrial-complex has come up with this really fun idea and that is to privatize armies so the U.S. Government can save money.

We have already been doing this over there is that hostile Middle East and in Africa as well. But this savings is really a deal!

Funny that. Presently a “private soldier” (once called a mercenary) makes in salary about three times more than an American soldier. So the salary cost of the mercenary army would be THREE TIME HIGHER than it is now.

Would you care to venture a guess how this cost alone is cheaper?

And then you have the “standard” corporate operational costs for maintaining a mercenary army with the small problem of loyalty to MONEY rather than any insane patriotic reasoning so as to have the added burden of losing your “army” to the highest bidder.

Damn tricky, eh?

Now the U.S. has already had this continuous problem in the mercenary terrorists we have hired, trained and supplied just to have them jump sides and end up fighting us rather than doing as we paid them to do. Some of this has been based on deceit and some of this is due to a better deal going down.

When money is the bases of the commitment the playing field changes and your terrorists buddy today is your terrorist enemy tomorrow based on a couple of bucks.

 

And just who is pushing this insane idea?

Well the Bowery Boys, Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner, formally known as the Dead End Kids for you movie buffs.

Erik Prince the founder of the murdering thugs Blackwater Worldwide and Stephen Feinberg, a billionaire financier who owns the giant military contractor DynCorp International and Tubularsock believes sucks out babies brains for lunch (warning: this latter thought may be an alterNUT fact, be advised!) have offered up their proposals at Bannon’s and Kushner’s request.

Wow, Tubularsock just wonders with these four minds coming together, “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?”

Now Tubularsock, in case you haven’t noticed, wants to remind you that after 16 years WE ARE STILL MAKING WAR ON AFGHANISTAN.

You remember Afghanistan, right? The country right after 9/11 we started a war with.
And just to remind you how we did that it went down like this:

Bush and the boys and the bitch told the Taliban that they would have to hand over Osama bin Laden to the U.S. for the 9/11 crime or we would BOMB THEM!

The Taliban agreed to hand over Osama bin Laden to the U.S. for the 9/11 crime if and when the United States provided PROOF that Osama bin Laden was guilty of this crime. You remember that silly notion, a man is innocent until PROVEN guilty don’t you?

That is a fundamental legal principle of the United States not Afghanistan!

Well, the United States didn’t have any proof that he was directly involved.  He said he wasn’t involved in 9/11 directly. And to this day there has been no real proof that he was directly involved EXCEPT for the forged CIA tape prominently promoted on YouTube! But it was well known that bin Laden was a CIA asset so Tubularsock figures that it depends on which side of the fence he was working at any given time.

So we bomb them! And then we bomb them. And then we bomb them ……………  And even the old cliche that we were going to bomb them back into the Stone Age was used by some but they hadn’t left the Stone Age so they didn’t seem to noticed except all their wedding parties we annihilated. Oh, and their women and children were slaughtered but hey, THAT’S WAR don’t ya know!

Just reminds one of the callousness of war. Those who were murdered on 9/11 are precious souls but those we blow apart in Afghanistan are just collateral damage and how dare they run under our bombs! They act like they live there!

So now, 16 years of quagmire and Trump is thinking to “fix” Afghanistan by spending billions and billions of more dollars for a cheap fix: MERCENARY ARMIES provided by private enterprise corporations.

And they are even thinking of picking an American Viceroy who would directly report to Trump and run the Afghanistan mission with an outsourced army and a mission of “do whatever it takes to pacify Afghanistan”!

From Tubularsock’s point of view it is refreshing to have the lunatic fringe right out there in the open for a change unlike Killary’s style or Obomba’s style of putting up the false-bull-shit-front but still fucking you up the ass! But which of these elite assholes are more dangerous is a toss up!

A TUBULARSOCK SOBER 4TH THOUGHT

And in the distant atomic cloud cover one can just start to hear our new Orange Tweet President tweeting:

“LET THEM EAT CAKE!”

And Tubularsock assumes he is speaking of the most “bigly” piece of chocolate cake that is so awesome that it will make ameriKKKa  great again!

 

 

TRUMP NON-FAKEISH NEWS

Now who can you trust with your news information in today’s ALTURNUT news?

Well there is ONLY ONE clears source!

Why not go to the BOTTOM OF THE BARREL where all news ends up in a brine of truth that ONLY the Tubularsock Unbiased News Service can interpret for you.

Join all the other lost news junkie souls and start Jonesing on the truth!

THIS IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OR ADVERTISEMENT FOR TUNS,LTD.

It is a testimonial of truth …….. hey, Trust Tubularsock …….. he’s deplorable!

TRUMPTASTIC

It is true that Tubularsock is sitting on his underground deck which is a stones throw from his top floor corner office in Tubularsock’s underground bunker overlook Washington D.C. from Oakland CA. (see Bunker Tour)

Tubularsock does much of his writing from this vantage-point and today is no exception.

So let’s wonder why it has TAKEN THREE YEARS to start to replace Flint, Michigan’s corroded water pipes.

Just in case you have forgotten, three years ago it was discovered that the city’s government, in order TO SAVE MONEY, switched water suppliers from Detroit to the Flint River.

But those same city government officials failed to treat the water with an anti-corrosive agent and by not doing so they proceeded to corrode the lead pipes and thereby poisoning the residents.

Which led to campaign slogans for the next election like, “Vote For Me You’ll Be Dead In A Week”! Ok, maybe not.

So for three years Flint has been drinking and cooking with bottled water. And then last summer scientists (none that lived in Flint) declared that the water was good enough for bathing and hand washing BUT NOT for consumption.

And then this March, Flint residents were expected to start paying the FULL COST for their water even if they can’t drink it! And to top that, 8000 residents are being held responsible FOR NOT PAYING FOR TOXIC WATER by having “tax-liens-for-unpaid-water-bills!

Now think about this. The State of Michigan has agreed (by court order) to put up $97 million to replace any lead or galvanized steel pipes for at least 18,000 homes. And to entitle citizens to have their water tested four times a year as well as access to free bottled water and filters.

It has taken three years and a court battle just to START to rectify this problem.

CAN YOU SAY INFRASTRUCTURE? Not if Orange Tweet doesn’t create jobs that save lives rather than kill people. Donnie has lost his way already just as Shrub and Obummer did before him. Rebuilding America is just economically impossible if over 60% of our borrowed money go to blow people up. INFRASTRUCTURE IMPROVEMENT WILL NOT HAPPEN!

BUT in the fiscal year of 2016 the U.S. Government spent $654.5 million on Hellfire Missiles alone. Which have all blown up so ………

And Every hour in 2016, taxpayers in United States paid $116,063 for Predator and Reaper Drones.

AND FOR WHAT? All the wars we have started are still going on so when Orange Tweet calls somebody a looser he may want to look at the State of the Nation he is supposed to be leading.

The ONLY comfort one can draw from all of this is Donnie is as stupid as the country he Tweets from. A guy that can’t even tweet correctly as “covfefe” now has proven.

Man! The fucker can’t even tweet correctly any more. Has anybody checked for lead pipes in the White House lately?

BOW WOW GROOMING

OYG! (OH YOUR GOD!) And Trump criticized Obummer for bowing to the fucking
Saudis?

Donald get hold of yourself! Oh, on second thought, maybe not.

A 110 BILLION DOLLAR DEAL FOR “defense” of Saudi Arabia.

A White House Official said, “The deal will work to increase Saudi Arabia’s defense capabilities, bolstering equipment and services in the face of extreme terrorist groups . . .”

The Saudi Arabians are the main funders of extreme terrorists groups in the Middle East and they support terror & Wahhabi Salafist ideology fueling al-Qaeda/ISIS.

All that Shia Law crap and the cutting off of heads are things practiced by Saudi Arabia!

But Trump has succumbed to the Deep State war machine and the rest will be history.

And now Orange Tweet has shifted from, “We’re having problems with the Muslims” and pushed for a Muslim ban to the new dawn of “shared interests” with Muslims in the stamping out terrorism. And not a word about “radical Islamic terrorism,” or “radical Islam”.

And Donald puffed all up with, “That was a tremendous day. Tremendous investments in the United States. Hundreds of billions of dollars of investments into the United States and jobs, jobs, jobs.”

CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE THE EXCITEMENT OF THE COAL MINERS IN SOUTH CAROLINA!

The fact that Orange Tweet’s attention-span can’t be maintained much past the length of a tweet makes it apparent that when he discovered that the relationship between China and North Korea was more complex than he had imagined he was taken back a bit. The boy lacks knowledge of the world and of history and of the political implications of his own actions.

They have him dancing on the string so far in this current trip but Tubularsock can not believe that he can last the full nine days. He’s followed the telepromter so far but come on. He has got to go off. If he doesn’t then the “deep state” has molded Tweet in record time. Which will then only prove that the brainless are an easy mark for the CIA.

You see, once again George Carlin is correct. “It’s a big club and you ain’t in it!

So ok America, go back to sleep. It will be taken care of without your assistance EXCEPT your continued support of the BULL SHIT!

PRESSTITUTES PERSONIFIED!

Once again, American Journalism is not only lacking but just doesn’t exist …. if it ever did really, to tell the truth.

We can all recall the famous dictum, “You furnish the pictures and I’ll furnish the war” spouted by William Randolph Hearst.

You see, Hearst’s reporter, the famed illustrator Frederic Remington wanted to come home from Cuba in 1897 because nothing was happening …. so he sent a cable to Hearst stating, “Everything quiet.  There is no trouble here.  There will be no war.  Wish to return.”

And Hearst’s response was the above pictures-war statement.

And if you look at this briefly it really provided a template for “GOING TO WAR” ever since. Seriously! Every war since, the precursor, always and still is false, sensational news that prepares the public for war! Oh, a well placed, dead mutilated kid, is a must!

Perfect, really!

You see, Hearst grasped onto the Cuban revolt against Spain in 1895 and saw it as a way to increase his New York Journal readership and pull readers from his rival the New York World.

Hearst’s tactic was to run increasingly sensational stories. TRUE OR NOT! And he went with stories of violence, sex, catastrophe, and mayhem which later became characterized by the term “yellow journalism”.

And quickly to put this historical adventurism of Hearst in context to our current Syrian Chimera, Hearst was able to actually corral the public into believing that the sinking of the USS Maine (which, by the way, blew up from unknown causes, maybe a coal fire) was blamed on Spanish treachery by the New York Journal. Within three months, the United States was at war with Spain in what became known as the Spanish-American War.

And “Remember the Maine, to Hell with Spain!” became the American public’s sentiment promoted by Hearst’s paper vigorously publishing stories that helped create and foster those feelings.

See the parallel? DAH!

The FACT that “yellow journalism” is the major type of journalism left today goes a long way in explaining why the general public is just so plain trusting and stupid.

True, it may not be the only reason for this stupidity but it definitely promotes it!

SAVING YOU SYRIAN TIME

Tubularsock has spent HIS TIME reading EVERYTHING about Syria and following EVERY STEP Rex Tillerson, our new Secretary of State, has taken with the Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov.

And Tubularsock has done this as a favor to YOU!

As an American citizen YOU don’t really have the time to actually dig around in the GREATER-UNDRAINED-SWAMP, so Tubularsock has done it for you.

So …….. if you can get off your insane cell phone and tuck your tweets aside fold up your Reddit, bend and stuff your snapchat and file your Facebook profile for just a second Tubularsock will BOTTOM-LINE it all for you!

The U.S. and Russia have met to discuss Syria. And all YOU have to do is LOOK at Rex’s and Serg’s connection, their sincere eye contact, their heartfelt camaraderie. IT TELLS IT ALL.

ANY QUESTIONS?