Archive for the ‘CIA’ Category

PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

Translations of above statements:

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

“Well-placed” sources close to the Secretary of State have stated that Tubularsock, 
The Secretary of the Deplorables, has an uncanny ability to “fit-in” well with North Koreans due to his kimchi knowledge.

Tubularsock speaks Kimchi fluently as well as several other Vegan Languages.

Some have insinuated that the Secretary may be working “undercover” for the CIA after Tubularsock was overheard saying that “. . . the U.S. should cover-over the undercover and close the drawer on the issue at hand.”

 

This comment was verified by an official who spoke on condition of anonymity due to the laws in place about discussing sensitive diplomatic issues.

The comment occurred between Tubularsock and a room service maid at the TRUMP PYONGYANG HOTEL, according to a senior White House official involved in the preparations.

IN FURTHER NEWS:

Christmas is upon us and a miracle has occurred. The Big Bang Theory has been proven correct as demonstrated by the following cosmic insight by none other than TUBULARSOCK!

 

 

LET’S WAR SOME MORE!

Well thank the Gods that THAT’S OVER!

Another 9/11 has hit the history dust bin again and we are still in the dark over just which Saudi and Carlyle Group investment scheme helped to do it.

 

But hell that is water under the bridge so really who cares anyway. Everybody is dead and buried and what in the fuck do they want, they all got a gillion dollar memorial and tourist book store!

We’ve got bigger fish to fry!

And by golly we’ll poke somebody with a stick hard enough to have them attack say like a rowboat floating next to the USS BULLSHIT and we’ll have that UNIFYING WAR each president starts to rally the citizen behind the president. NO MATTER HOW FUCKING STUPID HE HAPPENS TO BE!

And before you anal retentive Trumpites get all pushed out of shape over the above sentence, well it refers to Baby Shrub and the gaggle of assholes that occupied his administration.

Not that Orange Tweet isn’t attempting to corner the market on “STUPID” but Shrub beat him to it on this subject.

And it is true that once the “General” took over as “Chief of Staff” Orange Tweet is learning to bend over for the neocons so ALL IS GOOD in dip-shit-land.

So will it be North Korea? Russia? China? Nope, everyone is tried of hearing about them already. Boring!

 

 

No we have to have another Grenada! You remember 1983 and the proposed THREAT TO THE UNITED STATES by the Caribbean Island of Grenada, right?

Parkinson-riddled-brain-dead-Ronald-Reagan sent in 10,000 American troops to protect the U.S. against several hundred lightly armed policemen and Cuban construction workers.

The U.S. military lost 19 and incurred 116 injuries during the eight day “war” but peace came at last and Paul Scoon was reinstated as the Governor-General of Grenada who represented the monarch, Queen Elizabeth II.

And of course the American public supported the invasion even though it was a flagrant violation of international law. Because the United States is a government of laws not of men. Or so the story is told. Go figure that out.

BUT WE WON! And this was our “brave?” military’s first operation conducted after our Grand War with Vietnam which we LOST at pretty much ever criteria one could list.
So you can see how important the War With Grenada (WWG) was then. We really are winners, no really we are, and our military will kill unarmed men, women and children in any number to prove it!

So presently we have an entire 5 sided building filled with dedicated workers finding just the “right” place to attack next in the name of freedom.

Hell we need a win!

 

 

 

OUTSOURCED ARMY

THEY HAVE TO BE KIDDING!

Orange Tweet is really an inspiration for the advancement of stupidity. No not because of his tweet attention-span, nor his small limp hands and bigly butt. No those are just side line embarrassing.

When President Orange Tweet says he wants to make America Great Again he doesn’t mean 1940’s or 1950’s GREAT! No he means British Empire Great like 17 and 18 hundreds GREAT! Viceroy Great. And who says you can’t go backward!

And you all know how the “free market system” works right? You know competition brings the price down, right? And because of that, government needs to “privatize” many of its agencies because the private sector can do it cheaper than the government can do it.

Take for example, WAR. If the United States privatizes its military then what money we can all save ……… such a deal.

Now this isn’t a Trump idea. He doesn’t have the ability to think let alone creatively. No this goes way back as far as war itself. Some people fight and some people supply the fighters. And just for fun, stop and guess who gets rich and who gets dead.

And the capitalistic system has improved upon this basic idea a thousand fold by adding the investing class to the mix. Now there are those who fight the war, those who supply the fighters, AND those who INVEST in the suppliers who supply the fighter who fight the war. See, that is called capitalism because the investing class are even further away from being dead from war but profit the most from it. Clever yes?

Now check this out. The military-industrial-complex has come up with this really fun idea and that is to privatize armies so the U.S. Government can save money.

We have already been doing this over there is that hostile Middle East and in Africa as well. But this savings is really a deal!

Funny that. Presently a “private soldier” (once called a mercenary) makes in salary about three times more than an American soldier. So the salary cost of the mercenary army would be THREE TIME HIGHER than it is now.

Would you care to venture a guess how this cost alone is cheaper?

And then you have the “standard” corporate operational costs for maintaining a mercenary army with the small problem of loyalty to MONEY rather than any insane patriotic reasoning so as to have the added burden of losing your “army” to the highest bidder.

Damn tricky, eh?

Now the U.S. has already had this continuous problem in the mercenary terrorists we have hired, trained and supplied just to have them jump sides and end up fighting us rather than doing as we paid them to do. Some of this has been based on deceit and some of this is due to a better deal going down.

When money is the bases of the commitment the playing field changes and your terrorists buddy today is your terrorist enemy tomorrow based on a couple of bucks.

 

And just who is pushing this insane idea?

Well the Bowery Boys, Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner, formally known as the Dead End Kids for you movie buffs.

Erik Prince the founder of the murdering thugs Blackwater Worldwide and Stephen Feinberg, a billionaire financier who owns the giant military contractor DynCorp International and Tubularsock believes sucks out babies brains for lunch (warning: this latter thought may be an alterNUT fact, be advised!) have offered up their proposals at Bannon’s and Kushner’s request.

Wow, Tubularsock just wonders with these four minds coming together, “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?”

Now Tubularsock, in case you haven’t noticed, wants to remind you that after 16 years WE ARE STILL MAKING WAR ON AFGHANISTAN.

You remember Afghanistan, right? The country right after 9/11 we started a war with.
And just to remind you how we did that it went down like this:

Bush and the boys and the bitch told the Taliban that they would have to hand over Osama bin Laden to the U.S. for the 9/11 crime or we would BOMB THEM!

The Taliban agreed to hand over Osama bin Laden to the U.S. for the 9/11 crime if and when the United States provided PROOF that Osama bin Laden was guilty of this crime. You remember that silly notion, a man is innocent until PROVEN guilty don’t you?

That is a fundamental legal principle of the United States not Afghanistan!

Well, the United States didn’t have any proof that he was directly involved.  He said he wasn’t involved in 9/11 directly. And to this day there has been no real proof that he was directly involved EXCEPT for the forged CIA tape prominently promoted on YouTube! But it was well known that bin Laden was a CIA asset so Tubularsock figures that it depends on which side of the fence he was working at any given time.

So we bomb them! And then we bomb them. And then we bomb them ……………  And even the old cliche that we were going to bomb them back into the Stone Age was used by some but they hadn’t left the Stone Age so they didn’t seem to noticed except all their wedding parties we annihilated. Oh, and their women and children were slaughtered but hey, THAT’S WAR don’t ya know!

Just reminds one of the callousness of war. Those who were murdered on 9/11 are precious souls but those we blow apart in Afghanistan are just collateral damage and how dare they run under our bombs! They act like they live there!

So now, 16 years of quagmire and Trump is thinking to “fix” Afghanistan by spending billions and billions of more dollars for a cheap fix: MERCENARY ARMIES provided by private enterprise corporations.

And they are even thinking of picking an American Viceroy who would directly report to Trump and run the Afghanistan mission with an outsourced army and a mission of “do whatever it takes to pacify Afghanistan”!

From Tubularsock’s point of view it is refreshing to have the lunatic fringe right out there in the open for a change unlike Killary’s style or Obomba’s style of putting up the false-bull-shit-front but still fucking you up the ass! But which of these elite assholes are more dangerous is a toss up!

BOW WOW GROOMING

OYG! (OH YOUR GOD!) And Trump criticized Obummer for bowing to the fucking
Saudis?

Donald get hold of yourself! Oh, on second thought, maybe not.

A 110 BILLION DOLLAR DEAL FOR “defense” of Saudi Arabia.

A White House Official said, “The deal will work to increase Saudi Arabia’s defense capabilities, bolstering equipment and services in the face of extreme terrorist groups . . .”

The Saudi Arabians are the main funders of extreme terrorists groups in the Middle East and they support terror & Wahhabi Salafist ideology fueling al-Qaeda/ISIS.

All that Shia Law crap and the cutting off of heads are things practiced by Saudi Arabia!

But Trump has succumbed to the Deep State war machine and the rest will be history.

And now Orange Tweet has shifted from, “We’re having problems with the Muslims” and pushed for a Muslim ban to the new dawn of “shared interests” with Muslims in the stamping out terrorism. And not a word about “radical Islamic terrorism,” or “radical Islam”.

And Donald puffed all up with, “That was a tremendous day. Tremendous investments in the United States. Hundreds of billions of dollars of investments into the United States and jobs, jobs, jobs.”

CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE THE EXCITEMENT OF THE COAL MINERS IN SOUTH CAROLINA!

The fact that Orange Tweet’s attention-span can’t be maintained much past the length of a tweet makes it apparent that when he discovered that the relationship between China and North Korea was more complex than he had imagined he was taken back a bit. The boy lacks knowledge of the world and of history and of the political implications of his own actions.

They have him dancing on the string so far in this current trip but Tubularsock can not believe that he can last the full nine days. He’s followed the telepromter so far but come on. He has got to go off. If he doesn’t then the “deep state” has molded Tweet in record time. Which will then only prove that the brainless are an easy mark for the CIA.

You see, once again George Carlin is correct. “It’s a big club and you ain’t in it!

So ok America, go back to sleep. It will be taken care of without your assistance EXCEPT your continued support of the BULL SHIT!

HAY! COMEY OVER HERE!

Have you ever wondered if the CIA ever hacked Russian elections? Well yes, they have. And about every other nation in the world.

So one could figure that the SVR RF would return the favor. After all, Russians are nice people too.

And has it ever crossed your mind that Orange Tweet and his family ever used Russian money in their world-wide business dealings.

Well, does the Pope shit in the woods? (Trust Tubularsock here, that is what makes “Holy-Shit”!)

So here we are spending a huge amount of public air equal to any major environmental disaster expounding on what EVERYONE already knows. But the new EPA isn’t interested any longer with the protection of the environment because Orange Tweet doesn’t believe in protecting air and water quality because there may be a slight possibility of A coal miner getting A job.

Now when Orange Tweet was asked recently have, “. . . you, your family, your businesses, your surrogates have accepted any investments, any loans from Russian individuals or institutions . . .”, his answer was, “I have nothing to do with Russia. I have no investments in Russia. None whatsoever.”

So there! THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA has said NO!

So is he lying again? YES and NO.

The question that was asked was do “. . . you, your family, your businesses, your surrogates have accepted any investments, any loans from Russian individuals or institutions . . .”

The answer is, “I have nothing to do with Russia. I have no investments in Russia. None whatsoever.” IT ALL CENTERS AROUND THE “I” and “the investments IN” but like always the maimed-stream-media never pushes the follow up question, “How about your family, your businesses, your surrogates . . .?” And no follow up that would expose that Tweet has wealthy Russians and oligarchs investing in his New York and Dubai properties!

It is similar to the old bait and switch technique, “I never had sex with that woman” or “I am not a crook” or “But we don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.”

We have heard them all lie and even deny that they have even said what they said. And yet 98% of the time no one has to take any responsibility for their actions.

In there lies the problem!

 

Which brings us to James Comey being fired by Orange Tweet.

According to Tweet, “he dismissed the head of the FBI because he “was not doing a good job.”’

Sure seems straight forward, right?

Well, James wouldn’t go along with Tweet on the “Obama wiretapped me” story because as he testified in March, “the Justice Department had ‘“no information”’ to support Trump’s wiretapping allegation”.

And at the same time the FBI was also investigating possible coordination between Trump campaign officials and Russia which they DO HAVE information.

 The recommendation to fire Comey didn’t come from Tweet or from the White House. It was an initiative of US Attorney General Jeff Sessions and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. They prepared the three page memorandum, which  criticized James Comey and pushed for Comey’s firing. So what is up with that.
It is clear that James Comey thinks on his own and isn’t a “team” player which has been and would have been a problem for whichever Trump team taking the lead at any given moment. That boy has to go!

 

But hold EVERYTHING. Haven’t we seen this before? Massive “news” activity and loud noise draws attention away from the actual devastation and havoc Donald Trump and his minions are heaping on this country. So why the diversion?

So stop watching the monkey and start watching the show! There are bigger issues in this mix and we’ll have to figure them out for ourselves because the “free press” is just too busy with the soap opera. And the first season hasn’t even ended yet!

……….. THE BEAT DOES GOES ON! WE SHALL SEE.

 

Tube heading ROCKSsmall print

Just for the fun of it, let’s say that Tubularsock is going to sell you this car:

A 2017 ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE

A 2017 ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE

And lets say the cost of this PHANTOM was just a little over $430,000.00 and that is with an AM/FM Stereo and an electric ashtray! Oh sure, and automatic windshield wipers.

But if you buy today and pay CASH Tubularsock would sell it TO YOU for $200,000.00!

And you are directed to wire the cash to Tubularsock World Wide Auto Sales Ltd. in Panama.

Simple as that.

And upon receipt and verification of your payment your new ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE will be delivered to your door at no charge.

Deal?

But then you remember what your father always told you: “Read the fine print!”

 

 

contract
So would you go for the deal?

Or not!

Well that is EXACTLY the deal the United States is offering YOU when it comes to information about this inflated Russian hacking lie!

At the very TOP of the National Cybersecurity & Communications Integration Center – NCCIC and Federal Bureau of Investigation is this disclaimer:

nccic-hacker-report

Which is to say that THEY ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE INFORMATION PROVIDED!

Have any question come to your mind?

Perhaps, Tubularsock’s just sayin’ , if the NCCIC and the FBI are putting out this information about the Russian hacking, THEN just who is responsible for the validity of the information? They say: IT’S NOT US!

But really, in this case it is just an attempt to mislead YOU. It is not a lie, it just doesn’t fit the reality of the situation. It is a cleaver misdirection that looks like there is real information being provided but IT DOESN’T PROVE JACK SHIT!

And THAT is one major problem with the United States of America today …………… NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING!

CONGRESS VOTES TO GIVE THE PRESIDENT THE ABILITY TO KILL PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ….. THEY’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.

A BANK IS DRIVEN INTO BANKRUPTCY AND HAS TO BE BAILED OUT BY “WE THE CITIZENS” ……… THE CEO IS NOT RESPONSIBLE.

BIG PHARMA KILLS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITH THEIR PILLS ……. THEY’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.

THE COPS OPENLY SHOOT PEOPLE IN THE BACK BECAUSE THE COP “FEELS” THREATENED ……….. NOT RESPONSIBLE.

THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY MACHINE CHEAT AND RIG HILLARY’S NOMINATION FOR THE PARTY BUT SHE AND HER CORRUPT CHEATING BAND OF CONSPIRATORS ARE NOT HELD RESPONSIBLE ……. the focus is shifted to the Russians for Christ sake!

NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE, well except for the guy who’s selling cigarettes on the street without a permit. He’s responsible for his CRIME! So much so, that the cops kill him after breaking the police departments own rules. But those cops aren’t held responsible for their own cop rules!

AND NOW TRUMP LIES AND LIES AND LIES AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT’S AN ISSUE?

OH, PLEASE!

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