Archive for the ‘Hamid Karzai’ Category

POPPY MADNESS?

Posted: September 8, 2017 in Afghanistan, AMERICAN HYPOCRISY, BANKS, boots on the ground, CIA Drugs, corruption, Donald Trump, Drug Abuse, Foreign Policy, George Bush, Hamid Karzai, Obama, Poppies, President Tweet, Psychology, RELATIONSHIPS, Rex Tillerson, TERRORISTS CREATED BY U.S.
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POPPY MADNESS?

Since 2002 the United States has spent $8.6 billion just for the “war” against Poppies in Afghanistan and this year (2017) poppy production is UP, UP, UP! Another great job accomplished by good ol’ America!

 

 

And the stated reason is that the Taliban, which banned poppy cultivation when it ruled Afghanistan, (you know BEFORE we attacked them and started this ENDLESS war) is now involved in running its own factories, refining the lucrative crop into morphine and heroin for exporting abroad. Mostly to Europe and Canada.

Most American heroin comes from those bad-hombres’ in Mexico!

And much like in Vietnam, the CIA is up to their chinny-chin-chins in running drugs as usual. Tubularsock might as well mention the big banks that launder the money too, so as not to leave anyone out.

Ok, just to be complete the picture, many members within the entire “democratic” Afghan government find a way to get a cut as well. Isn’t that what democracy is all about?

You see it is a Narco-state after all!

 

Afghan farmers are paid about $163 for a kilo (a little over 2 pounds) of the black sap from raw opium. Once refined the price is about $3500. But by the time it is shipped to Europe it wholesales for $45,000!

According to the United Nations in 2016, Afghanistan, which produces 80 percent of the world’s opium, made around 4,800 tonnes of the drug bringing in revenues of three billion dollars.

 

NOW DO NOT WORRY!

The U.S. has worked diligently to coerce local poppy farmers to shift their crop from poppy cultivation to “legal” alternatives such as wheat, barley, mustard and melons.

The result was that those “legal” crops are more difficult and expensive to successfully cultivate and yield much less at market than did their previous illicit poppy plants.

As one farmer put it, “If we plant two bags of wheat, then we’ll have just enough money to buy the seeds to plant another two bags of wheat. […] We’re going backwards. Of course we’re angry at the government.” (Common Sense For Drug Policy 9/6/17)

Of course, as would be predicted, those areas that were driven from poppy production in turn are the same areas where terrorism activity increased.

Surprised? Push people to the wall and you get a response.

All in all, the U.S., lost the Vietnam War, and has LOST the war in Afghanistan. And yet Orange Tweet Trump just like Step-en-fetch-it Obummer before him has entered deeper into the quagmire.

And all that leads to this future conversation: “Mommy why did daddy die in the war? Oh honey, like I’ve told you before, to protect the Opium Trade.”

So now you understand why the poppy is used as a symbol on “Memorial Day”!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG: a bin Laden story.

Posted: May 17, 2015 in Afghanistan, America Asleep, Bandar bin Sultan, Bull Shit, CIA TERRORISTS, Diane Feinstein, Dick Cheney, Diplomacy, Don Rumfeld, FBI TERRORISTS, FRANCE, General Stanley McChrystal, George Bush, Hamid Karzai, Hillary Clinton, Iran, IRAQ, ISRAEL, John McCain, Leon Panetta, Obama, Oil, Russia, Seal Team 6 - DEVGRU, TERRORISTS CREATED BY U.S., U.S. Marines, War Criminals
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THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG: a bin Laden story.

Now everyone knows when it comes to fowl stories Tubularsock is on top of his game. Some even go as far as to say that Tubularsock is for the birds. Whatever!

Tubularsock just loves a good story and as luck would have it it is, THE SAME OLD STORY.

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So let’s start at the beginning.

Mohammed bin Laden and his tenth wife Hamida al-Attas fucked and had little Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden.(an interesting fun fact is that Bin Laden’s name was as long as his 6’ 4” body when he became an adult. Could that have been some kind of sign?)

Osama’s dad had 58 children from 22 wives but as Sharia Law requires he only had four wives at a time. Damn rules!

Now like any good Moslem dad Mohammed divorced Hamida soon after Osama was born. ( Which may or may not tell us something about what Bin Laden was like as a baby.)

And Bin Laden’s mother then married a man named Muhammad al-Attas, who worked at the bin Laden company. (Sure, Tubularsock wonders just how many of the 22 wives ended up with bin Laden company employees. Just one big happy family. Just imagine the Christmas party, oops.)

Ok. Let’s fast forward ……… is this fun or what?

There is enough agreement that Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born. In fact Tubularsock has not seen any documentation to date to question that this did not occur.

The problem? How did, when did, and who did die and was it bin Laden at all. There’s the rub!

So what is clear is bin Laden was born from there on, a story but “facts” ….. NOT SO MUCH!

It has been reported that Osama was 6’4” or maybe 6’6” tall. Or maybe less. It occurred to Tubularsock that math and measurement was an early achievement of the Arab World but no one even thought about getting out a measuring rod?

Remember The Navy Seals AFTER THE SUPPOSED KILLING of Bin in his bedroom laid down beside his crumpled bloody body to judge how tall he was ….. wow, those Navy Seals are kinky fuckers and none-too bright.

With all the equipment that they carry no one thought a measuring tape could be handy? Very poor planning if you ask Tubularsock. (you may have noticed no one has asked Tubularsock)

And after the unarmed old man in his bathrobe is blown apart by massive gun fire THEN they start to wonder if it was Bin or not? (side note to self: don’t hang out with Navy Seal bat-shit-nut cases)

In terms of personality, bin Laden was described as a soft-spoken, mild mannered, left handed man who used a cane.

Because Bin never exhibited any Fred Astaire moves it was assumed the cane was for health reasons. His bodyguard CONTENDED Soviet chemical weapons were to blame for his malady but reporters SPECULATED that kidney disease was the cause.

The CIA BELIEVED that bin Laden had Marfan syndrome or kidney disease.(Wright, Lawrence. The Looming Towern. New York: Vintage, 2006.)

The CIA THOUGHT that the possibility of kidney disease was credible. They concluded that bin Laden did not need dialysis, but does suffer from kidney stones.(Robert Windrem. “CIA is looking for a few good doctors.” NBC News, Dec. 29, 2004.)

On July 1, 2002, Time Magazine reported “. . . that physicians who analyzed photos of bin Laden determined that he PROBABLY suffers from secondary osteoporosis, which is often related to diabetes and kidney trouble”. (“Bin Laden Alive as of Late December”, Reuters; Sun Jun 30, 2002.)

Are you getting the picture? CONTENDED, SPECULATED, BELIEVED, THOUGHT, PROBABLY these are descriptive words for we don’t know shit about bin Laden’s true health condition.

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Now David Ray Griffin, who Tubularsock has very high regard for concluded that Osama bin Laden died in late 2001 or 2002. But when you look closely at Griffin’s claims his evidence is based on rather weak information, if you ask Tubularsock. (you may have noticed no one has asked Tubularsock)

David Ray Griffin states the following five things from his article “Osama Bin Laden: Dead or Alive?” to show that Bin Laden is dead:

“1. The CIA up until mid-December 13, 2001, had regularly been intercepting messages between bin Laden and his people. At that time, however, the messages suddenly stopped, and the CIA has never again intercepted a message. (maybe he figured out he was being listened to?)

 2. On December 26, 2001, a leading Pakistani newspaper published a story reporting that bin Laden had died in mid-December. ( oh! a leading Pakistani newspaper, then it must be true)

 3. Osama bin Laden had kidney disease. He had been treated for it in the American  Hospital in Dubai in July 2001, at which time he REPORTEDLY ordered two dialysis machines to take home. (see below)

 4. In July of 2002, CNN reported that bin Laden’s bodyguards had been captured in February of that year, adding: “Sources believe that if the bodyguards were captured away from bin Laden, it is likely the most-wanted man in the world is dead.” (maybe they were on break)

 5. The United States has since 2001 offered a $25 million reward for any information leading to the capture or killing of bin Laden. But this reward offer has produced no such information.” (until now)

But when you look at all five of these examples and follow them out they are all based on conjecture NOT HARD FACTS. Even Number 3, the Dubai hospital information can be called into question if you look at it.

The one reported “fact” that bin Laden was in the American Hospital in Dubai in July 2001 and according to CBS News “. . . was being given kidney dialysis treatment in a hospital in Pakistan . . . the night before the 9/11 attacks” was first reported by the French newspaper Le Figaro.

The story was drawn from a leak from French intelligence (according to The Guardian) and not only provided bin Laden’s hospital visit but also the story that the CIA Bureau Chief “. . . was seen in the lift, on his way to see Bin Laden, and later, it is alleged, boasted to friends about his contact. He was recalled to Washington soon afterwards”.

The hospital “emphatically” denied that bin Laden was admitted to the hospital and the CIA denied that their bureau chief visited. Oh gosh, just who can one believe?

And then there is the kidney dialysis treatment itself.

CNN reporting on Pakistan’s president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, speculation that bin Laden had likely died of kidney failure was then supported by CNN’s medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta who proceeded to evaluate A VIDEO with some earlier photos of bin Laden and concluded “. . . that he appeared to be in the last stages of kidney failure”.

From this Tubularsock would not go on record that bin Laden died in 2001 or in 2014 either. But what is clear is that whatever story the United States Government comes up with will be and is A LIE. That is the only FACT Tubularsock can draw from all of this bullshit.

Oh, but there’s more ……. wouldn’t you know.

According to Salon, in the article, The Many Deaths of Osama bin Laden on May 1, 2011 Justin Elliott writes:

“The false reports of Osama bin Laden’s death began almost immediately after Sept. 11, 2001, and persisted at a rate of at least once or twice a year, every year. The reports — generated by (usually anonymous) statements by American officials and a dizzying array of foreign sources — often generated international headlines.

Here’s a sampling:

July, 2002 FBI counterterrorism chief Dale Watson tells a law enforcement conference of bin Laden: “I personally think he is probably not with us anymore, but I have no evidence to support that.”

August,2002 Popular conspiracy-mongering radio host Alex Jones announces, citing high-level Bush administration sources, “that bin Laden died of natural causes and that his family has given the body to the CIA.” Jones added, “they’re gonna roll him out right before the election, he’s on ice right now.”

May, 2003 French military analyst announces that bin Laden was killed in an American air raid in Tora Bora shortly after the invasion of Afghanistan in 2001.

February, 2004 Iranian Radio reports that bin Laden was captured in the Afghan-Pakistan border area “a long time ago” — but the official announcement was delayed because “Bush is intending to use it for propaganda maneuvering in the presidential election.”

April, 2002 The Israeli press picks up an account from a radical Muslim London newspaper: “We now report that the al-Qaeda organization has announced the death of Osama Bin Laden.”

September, 2006 French intel document says that Saudis believe bin Laden had died of typhoid in Pakistan.

June, 2008 Citing two unnamed officials, Time magazine reports that a recent CIA study has concluded bin Laden has long-term kidney disease and “may only have months to live.”

April, 2009 Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari tells the media that his country’s intel services “obviously feel that [bin Laden] does not exist anymore”’

But even here Justin Elliott shows bias by starting off his report with “The false reports of Osama bin Laden’s death . . .”

An interesting link that Tubularsock found in these travels to find bin Laden is:

http://www.newsmine.org/content.php?ol=9-11/binladen/death/fbi-%20says-bin-laden-probably-dead.txt

You will discover here that Osama bin Laden has spent more time dead than living. Which in itself is an amazing feat for this amazing man.

So all the attack toward Seymour Hersh and his article on the re-death of bin Laden on May 11, 2011 is just another bin Laden death. The only thing it lacks is the Dairy Queen sightings with Elvis.

But it could be the true death of bin Laden or it could just as easily NOT be his final death.

So it might be helpful for a quick “fill in the blanks” historically for you and this little video made by Tubularsock in 2007 may help you recall what all this Afghanistan business was all about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZFn407MpZc

If you ask Tubularsock ……. I LIKE BIN LADEN AND ALWAYS DID. (BUT NOBODY ASK TUBULARSOCK)

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HOW MANY ENEMIES?

Posted: February 16, 2015 in Afghanistan, America Asleep, American Exceptionalism, Assad, Bagdad, Bandar bin Sultan, boots on the ground, CIA TERRORISTS, Delusional, Diane Feinstein, Dick Cheney, Don Rumfeld, Drones, FBI TERRORISTS, George Bush, Guantanamo, Gulag mentality, Hamid Karzai, Hunter Biden, IRAQ, ISIS, ISRAEL, Joe Biden, John Kerry, John McCain, Michelle Obama, Neo-Nazi, No Fly Zone, NSA, Obama, Oil, PALESTINIANS, psychomania, RACISM, REPUBLICANS, SYRIA, Terrorism, TERRORISTS CREATED BY U.S., The Matrix, torture, U.S. Marines, Ukraine, War Criminals
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Tubularsock was sitting in his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA and pondering.

How is it that the United States can keep all the wars going on for years and years and just not run out of enemies. How can we be so good at this and can’t seem to fix our own streets, roads and bridges?

Is THIS what American Exceptionalism is all about? Being able to PREACH caring and peace by running undisciplined about the world kicking and screaming in reality about getting OUR own way? Disregarding ALL peoples in our way so we can get OURS even when what we want doesn’t belong to us.

So let Tubularsock define some terms to get things a bit more clear.

Now Tubularsock knows many of you know this already but as time passes we all forget some things because it just has become the way the United States does things.

The debate about how the U.S. does things is pushed aside by the continued doing of it to the point that it is soon forgotten by so many that there may be a different way to do it.

  1. pre-emptive strike IS AGGRESSION. Clear and simple.
  2. Un-declared war while bombing another country IS WAR.
  3. Torture IS torture no matter what fancy word one comes up with to attempt to cover it up.
  4. Signed treaties and agreements legally need to be followed by ALL. Not just by OTHERS.
  5. The rule of law NOT of men MEANS just that, the rule of LAW not of men.
  6. War criminals must be held accountable even if they are Americans.
  7. Regime change by “assisted” revolt or assassination is WAR.
  8. Iraq had NOTHING to do with 9/11
  9. Afghanistan didn’t either!
  10. An example of a terrorist state IS the United States.
  11. And to bring this home to you personally Tubularsock will remind you what your mother told you, “Just because your good friend is a jackass doesn’t mean you have to copy him!”
  12. al Qaida, ISIS, Neo-Nazis of Ukraine were all created and are supported by the U.S., Israel, and England and have and will continue to create BLOWBACK for years to come.
  13. Drones create more terrorists than they destroy.

And sure the list could go on but Tubularsock figures you got his point with the first example which only goes to show you that redundancy is so redundant.

And because you “got-it” from the first example Tubularsock is going to use the last example as his template for all examples. Now how easy is that?

About a little over two weeks ago the BBC News reported that, “A US drone strike in Yemen . . . killed three suspected al ­Qaeda members suggesting that US policy in the region is continuing as normal”.

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Now “. . . continuing as normal” means that the U.S. has been killing people by drones in Yemen since 2002 or for the past thirteen years. And up to this point the U.S. had a Yemenis puppet leader who went along with the U.S. killing but recently that leader was overthrown and the current Yemen government is a Shia-led rebel grouping known as the Houthis.

But the U.S. doesn’t care who is the leader of an independent country, we’ll drone them if we want because it’s “normal”! Makes Tubularsock wonder why somebody has taken all that time to draw all those border lines on all those maps if they really have no meaning. Oh, Tubularsock forgot …… the U.S. border lines are sacred, of course.

And when those supposed Arabs took out the Twin Towers the CROSSING of those U.S. border lines were duly noted, if you recall. It was even considered an attack!

But Tubularsock again is in a middle of a digression. So back to the main point.

Now “ . . . killed three suspected al­ Qaeda members . . . ” means …… well what it means in this case is not true.

You see “suspected” is a funny way to die. The drone operator doesn’t know if the occupants of the car they blew to hell really has REAL al Qaeda members inside.

So they are “suspected” which means that AFTER they are dead, well people on the ground report if they were al Qaeda or just another wedding party.

In fact, the Obama administration considers “all military-age males in a strike zone as combatants,” several administration officials told the New York Times in June 2012, “unless there is explicit intelligence posthumously proving them innocent.” And if they weren’t a “combatant” they are just dead with the distinction of being counted differently. You know how important accuracy is to the United States!

Well in this case two of the PEOPLE in the car were al Qaeda but the third PERSON was a thirteen year old boy ………. So who was he?

Mohammed Saleh Duaayman was 13 years old and in the sixth grade.

children here&there

(another digression: you do realize that EVEN if Mohammed had skipped death and got to the United States he still would have NOT been able to go to school with the Obama kids. They go to a private school for important people!)

According to his eldest sister, Mohammed was traveling from their home in Al-Zoor village to visit his father’s second wife at the time of the Jan. 26 drone strike.

Mohammed was traveling with two men who were members of AQAP (al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula), a source within the group previously told the Yemen Times. The sister said she is unaware whether the two men were AQAP members or not, but reaffirmed that her brother was innocent and was not a member of the organization.

Funny thing, Mohammed’s father and one of his brothers who was 17 at the time were blown apart by a drone back in 2011 while they were searching for a camel. It seems that his father and two of his brothers were sleeping when the drone spotted them. The drone was controlled by a CIA controller who had never been tired following a missing camel. And you know how difficult it is to ask questions about a situation from 20,000 feet so he blew them up. Hey,  you can’t be too careful driving a drone.

But the 14 year old brother hid in the rocks and was not killed but his brother and father were killed. He came home a day and a half later with the story. He had stayed in the rocks for a full day before he made his move.

Mohammed was 9 years at the time. Mohammed came from a large family. His father had four wives and 26 children—12 boys and 14 girls. And these are just a few of his brothers and sisters.

BROTHERS AND SISTERS

His father supported his family by buying and selling used cars and herding sheep and camels. He also received about $500 a month from the government. He had fought against the Russians in Afghanistan and on his return the Yemenis security officials provided these funds to him so he would not join the al Qaeda forces within Yemen.

After his death the Yemenis security officials stopped the government payment and the local AQAP (al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula) started to help out the family and has done so for the last three years.

So what does that tell us? Well 10 boys left to join the AQAP. That’s what!

So two drone strikes kills a father and two sons and sets up an additional 10 fighters for al Qaeda. That’s the math which then explains why we have a continued supply of enemies. AND THIS IS JUST ONE FAMILY!

Data collected by the human rights group Reprieve and presented last November maintains that attempts to kill 41 targeted individuals across Pakistan and Yemen in recent years resulted in the deaths of some 1,147 people, the vast majority civilians and families. At that rate the U.S. has created a fucking shit-load of enemies and Obomber still says, “It is not neat and it is not simple, but it is the best option that we have”.

IS IT, REALLY?

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TUBULARSOCK SAYS: WINNING HEARTS

Posted: December 5, 2014 in Afghanistan, Assad, Bagdad, boots on the ground, CIA TERRORISTS, David Petraeus, Diane Feinstein, Dick Cheney, Don Rumfeld, Drones, FBI TERRORISTS, General Keith Alexander, General Stanley McChrystal, George Bush, Guantanamo, Hamid Karzai, HEZBOLLAH, Iran, IRAQ, ISIS, ISRAEL, John Kerry, John McCain, Joint Chiefs, Kim Kardashian, Leon Panetta, Obama, Oil, PALESTINIANS, Poppies, Senate Intelligence Committee, SYRIA, TERRORISTS CREATED BY U.S., torture
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WINNING HEARTS

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TUBULARSOCK SAYS: MID-EAST POLICY

Posted: November 22, 2014 in Abu Bakr Al-Bagdadi, Afghanistan, Assad, Bagdad, Bandar bin Sultan, boots on the ground, Bull Shit, CIA TERRORISTS, Drones, FBI TERRORISTS, George Bush, Guantanamo, Hamid Karzai, HEZBOLLAH, Iran, IRAQ, ISIS, ISRAEL, Joe Biden, John Kerry, John MaCain, Kim Kardashian, Obama, Oil, PALESTINIANS, SYRIA, torture, War Criminals
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Just Say'en

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NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS: THE SECRETARY OF THE INFERIOR — MISSING?

Posted: July 2, 2014 in American Exceptionalism, ART, ASSAULT WEAPONS, Bagdad, BRADLEY MANNING, Bull Shit, bull shit as an art form, CIA Drugs, CIA TERRORISTS, CYBER-ATTACKS, Dick Cheney, Don Rumfeld, economics, FBI, FBI TERRORISTS, FED, FREEDOM, freedom of the press, General Keith Alexander, General Stanley McChrystal, Guantanamo, GUATEMALA, Gulag mentality, GUNS, Hamid Karzai, Holiday jobs 2013, Infallbiility, James Clapper, Jay Z, Joe Biden, John Kerry, John MaCain, Jon Stewart, Justin Bieber, Kayne West, Keystone XL, Kim Kardashian, Leon Panetta, Mental Health, Michelle Obama, NSA, Obama, OccupyWall Street, PALESTINIANS, Poppies, Pussy Riot, Quantitative Easing, Radiation, REPUBLICANS, Ron Reagan, Russia, Senate Intelligence Committee, TERRORISTS CREATED BY U.S., The Matrix, U.S. General's ethics, Ukraine
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From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

NY Toast Cover

From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

Lunch

The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

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That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

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However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

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Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

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Stolen

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Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

DairyQueed gang

(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!”

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

Mystery

 

 

 

footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

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TUBULARSOCK’S SOJOURN

Posted: June 24, 2014 in Afghanistan, American Exceptionalism, Bagdad, Bandar bin Sultan, Chemical Warfare, CIA TERRORISTS, Crimea, David Petraeus, Diane Feinstein, Dick Cheney, Don Rumfeld, Drones, economics, FREEDOM, General Keith Alexander, General Stanley McChrystal, Guantanamo, Gulag mentality, Hamid Karzai, HEZBOLLAH, Iran, Iran Revolutionary Guard, IRAQ, ISIS, ISRAEL, Joe Biden, John Kerry, John McCain, Joint Chiefs, Leon Panetta, Obama, Oil, PALESTINIANS, Poppies, Race, REPUBLICANS, Ron Reagan, Senate Intelligence Committee, SYRIA, TERRORISTS CREATED BY U.S., torture, U.S. General's ethics, U.S. Marines
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Tubularsock was ask by the blog site Deconstructing Myths to contribute an article to their Mic check guest blogger series.

The opportunity is simple: To open information up to a broader audience than Tubularsock presently has and to present that information within a forum of enlightened and creative people .

 Deconstructing Myths is the creation of Jeff Nguyen, a multi-talented  fellow with the stated goal of  “. . . shed[ing] light on some of the important issues of our time.” And to find “collective solutions” to the problems found in our world today.

But the largest focus of Jeff’s work to is “. . . to deconstruct the myths many of us have been raised on through the powerful influence of the media and teachings of the dominant culture.”

That works for Tubularsock!

 

So the bottom line is simple …………. to read this Tubularsock blog post you too will have to travel to:          http://deconstructingmyths.com/

 

And I want to thank Jeff for this great opportunity ………… I am sure all of you will agree, “Tubularsock needs all the help he can get!”

 

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AFGHAN SMOKE … AND MIRRORS

Posted: June 1, 2014 in Afghanistan, CIA Drugs, CIA TERRORISTS, David Petraeus, Diane Feinstein, Dick Cheney, Drones, General Stanley McChrystal, Guantanamo, Hamid Karzai, IRAQ, MILITARY JUSTICE, Obama, Seal Team 6 - DEVGRU, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, SYRIA, torture
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Now let Tubularsock go way out on a limb here only because Tubularsock always likes to be closest to the new leaves.

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, the only American soldier held prisoner in Afghanistan, was freed by the Taliban. 

The deal was simple: Five Tortured Afghan detainees from the U.S. torture-prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, for One not-tortured American soldier. Cool!

Now, the limb part, is Tubularsock is making a big assumption here. And that assumption is that the Taliban DIDN’T torture Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl.

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl is still under a cloud from his departure from the ranks back in 2009 because the circumstances surrounding Bergdahl’s capture remain something of a mystery.

Some have speculated that he willingly walked away from his unit but Tubularsock has one of those Tubularsock hunches that the Sargent was lit on a combination of alcohol and Afghan Gold and just found himself captured ……… bummer.

Tubehuka

Now Tubularsock can hear you doubters, asking how would Tubularsock KNOW the obvious. Come now, really? Let us see ………

But the bigger the bull-shit the less likely we’ll ever know and here it comes from the Commander-in-Chief himself ………. Bergdahl’s recovery “. . . is a reminder of America’s unwavering commitment to leave no man or woman in uniform behind on the battlefield.”

Aren’t we so fucking noble!

It could be that on that Memorial Day visit Odroner made to Afghanistan to outline the direction his administration will be taking in that war that they just needed one more solider to be withdrawn from the forever battle and so they worked out this deal because they thought 22,200 withdrawn troops looked better from a PR perspective than 22,199.  

And it’s not the 9,800 troops that are going to stay there that you should be looking at anyway. They aren’t worth shit.

What you should be looking at is the number of mercenaries/contractors that will be remaining. Most American still don’t understand that removing troops does not reduce exposure and death to the Afghan people. That’s if the American public cares about that anyway. Using contractors to supply or enhance weapons is not unusual. But expeditionary warfare, stabilization and reconstruction operations, and intelligence services are tasks that most Americans believe are the sole job of the government or the military. It’s not. It’s all about privatization and profit. NOT ending the conflict.

That is why it doesn’t matter how many Taliban and remnants of al-Qaida are killed. There are ALWAYS more. And in many cases we supply THEM with weapons and training as well. Constant war requires it!

In fact according to a report by the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan (SIGAR), an auditing agency created by Congress to provide oversight on government spending in Afghanistan between 2002 and 2013, almost 70% of the 4 billion dollars spent by the State Department for “rule-of-law” projects, like training and equipping the Afghan police force went to one corporation …. Dyncorp.

Dyncorp is known for it’s well-documented history of corruption investigations and subpar performance and yet the governments contracts flow in regardless of the fact that in 2010 the inspector general for Iraq  along with the State Department found that Dyncorp could not account for $1 billion spent training the Iraqi police force.

Oh well, business is business.

Now the exchange deal went down in Qatar. The same little country where we are currently “training” fighters to over throw Syria. Sweet.

But this wasn’t the first time the U.S. dealt with the Taliban on this exchange. In 2011 a deal was being worked out but in early 2012 Sen. Diane Feinstein made the negotiations public because in Congress, there was bipartisan opposition to any release of Guantanamo prisoners.

This all changed because of a small change in the Fiscal Year 2014 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), which passed last December, made it only a requirement that the Defense Secretary notify Congress when releasing Guantanamo prisoners.

Before that change, Congressional sign off on any Guantanamo releases would have been needed but they gave up that power either knowingly or not. Depending on which of the Congressional members actually read what they were passing.

But now they can bitch but say they are powerless!

Now the Five Tortured Afghan detainees from the U.S. torture-prison at Guantanamo are, of course, “the worst of the worst” and are Taliban commanders. The deal requires that they can not leave Qatar for a year after their release. Tubularsock feels better all ready.

And the great thing …….. none of them hold a grudge or anything, right?

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TUBULARSOCK SAYS: AFGHANISTAN

Posted: May 28, 2014 in Afghanistan, CIA Drugs, CIA TERRORISTS, David Petraeus, Drones, General Keith Alexander, General Stanley McChrystal, Guantanamo, Hamid Karzai, Joe Biden, John Kerry, Obama, Poppies
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A Poppy for . .

 

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