Archive for the ‘U.S. General’s ethics’ Category

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PLAIN LUNACY: THE WASTED LIFE OF RYAN OWENS.

Plain lunacy is distinguished from complex lunacy by the fact that one does not need a protractor to figure it out. Remember protractors? Tubularsock has three. One plastic, one metal, and one wood. The wooden one is by far the best to keep Tubularsock “grounded” while working with complex lunacy. But fear not. We aren’t going there today.

Plain lunacy is recognized by a commodity known as “common sense” which in today’s world is in very short supply. And due to that let Tubularsock give you an example.

It is “common sense” that if you stand in quick sand you sink. And yet mankind has conducted wars between one another from the beginning of time sinking deeper and deeper and yet finding the only solution is to conduct another one and another one and another one, ad nauseam.

The thing about “common sense” is it is organic by nature and that may be why it is in such short supply while living within the GMO corporate-industrial-military-security-psyop-complex. Matrix for short!

Now none of this is even new to any of you. Nor to Tubularsock. But it all came crashing back like a nightmarish dream during Orange-Tweet’s “presidential?” speech to Congress.

Much of the PRESS praised Orange-Tweet for SOUNDING so Presidential. Which only means that Orange-Tweet read his speech from a teleprompter and that the speech was written by somebody else with the knowledge of the key and appropriate PLATITUDINAL-BULL-SHIT that is uttered by every other President that has given speeches to the nation.

And a complete and utter moron could give you a synopsis of all that was ludicrous about that speech but Tubularsock will just provide only ONE point that is ALWAYS one of the best tricks out of a BS-magic show.

Parading out the grieving widow! THE HEIGHT OF BULL SHIT MAGNIFICO!

At this point let Tubularsock just say that this entire “show” was really at the expense of Carryn Owens, the bereaving widow who had just lost her husband. For her, the intensity of pain was palpable and very sad.

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However it appears in this photo that the VERY BRAVE GENERALS were more “shocked” by her behavior of showing emotion than having any emotion of loss themselves. They’ll go home to their wives and instruct their drivers what time to pick them up in the morning to return to the Pentagon to plan more death and destruction based on existential fear! Ass holes all!

 

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The use by Orange Tweet and the Generals of an intense display of the TRUTH OF WAR they, as always, attempt to give us all that total crap about just how BRAVE, COURAGEOUS, SELFLESS, HEROIC WARRIOR dead Owens was and added to that the embarrassing shit about “. . . battling against terrorism and securing our nation.”

WELL NO! Thirty-six year-old Chief Petty Officer William “Ryan” Owens, was mislead. Unfortunately Owens believed that he was serving and protecting his country. As delusional unfortunately that happens to be in this case. In most in truth!

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Tubularsock wonders if Owens EVER even thought what the fuck was he protecting us from while shooting up  Yemen?

No! Owens, according to The Chicago Times, dreamed of becoming a SEAL since he was in high school and enlisted right after high school. The perfect age for stupidity! No thinking there!

Chief Petty Officer William “Ryan” Owens was a dupe, just cannon fodder, and now dead Owens has to be pumped up with empty meaningless adulation so as the next stupid high school student will want to throw his life away as well!

THERE IS NO GLORY IN KILLING OTHER PEOPLE ……….. PERIOD. There is absolutely nothing courageous or brave or selfless or heroic. It is just extrajudicial murder and one who carries it out is just a murderer plain and simple.

As so well stated in The Americanization of Emily, a 1964 movie about WW2, Lt. Cmdr. Charles E. Madison (James Garner) says: “We shall never end wars, Mrs. Barham, by blaming it on the ministers and generals, or warmongering imperialists, or all the other banal bogeys. It’s the rest of us who build statues to those generals and name boulevards after those ministers. The rest of us who make heroes of our dead and shrines of our battlefields. We wear our widow’s weeds like nuns, Mrs. Barham, and perpetuate war by exalting its sacrifices.”

Now there is no question that “Ryan” Owens “bought into” the “serving your country crap”. Tubularsock has no argument with the protection of one’s country. The argument comes when it IS OUR COUNTRY that is the aggressor to other countries.

Afghanistan NEVER attacked the United States!

Iraq NEVER attacked the United States!

Libya NEVER attacked the United States!

Vietnam NEVER attacked the United States!

And by far not the last example, Yemen NEVER attacked the United States!

So just exactly WHO was Owens and the pack of Chicken-Shit-Navy-SEALS murderers protecting? Definitely not you or Tubularsock! Or for that matter any American citizen.

Yemen? American military killing people in Yemen? What the fuck?

DO YOU FEEL SAFER? FUCK NO, WE’RE NOT SAFER!

Wonder why?

Well, it is simple really. Let Tubularsock return to the “common sense” of Plain Lunacy.

Never arm lunatics with guns!

You should remember that there was no such thing as al-Qaeda until the U.S. created them to fight the Russians in Afghanistan back under the Reagan and Carter Administrations.

And even to this day the U.S. government keeps pushing that IT’S THE TERRORISTS, IT’S THE TERRORISTS, IT’S THE TERRORISTS but the U.S. government keeps arming them.

Whether it’s Shrub, Step-En-Fetch-It, or Small-Hands-Orange-Tweet each have continued to provide arms and support to the terrorists.

They all keep repeating that battling against terrorism and securing our nation is our goal sooooooooo,

EXACTLY WHERE IS THE COMMON SENSE LOGIC IN CONTINUING ARMING THEM?

Oh, unless there is another agenda that is not being stated to the American public, an agenda that Chief Petty Officer William “Ryan” Owens and so many others have literally “fallen for”. But rest assured SOMEBODY PROFITS!

And speaking about Americans there was another American citizen killed in this raid in Yemen. And that was 8-year-old Nawar (Nora) who was visiting her mother when the raid took place. She was one of the 24 civilians killed by the American “brave” SEAL murderers.

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Of course there is always an answer. US Air Force colonel John Thomas said: “Al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula has a horrifying history of hiding women and children within militant operating areas and terrorist camps, and continuously shows a callous disregard for innocent lives. That’s what makes cases like these so especially tragic.”

But here is the problem with all that ……… THEY LIVE THERE!

US Air Force colonel John Thomas doesn’t!

It is like all those 100’s of thousands of civilians that guys like US Air Force colonel John Thomas napalmed in Vietnam. Burning them alive! They were all in there with the Vietcong ….. Remember?

THEY LIVED THERE! THAT WAS THEIR HOME!

It is the fucking brain dead like US Air Force colonel John Thomas that attacked them in THEIR COUNTRY!

That is like saying that all the people that died in the Twin Towers on 9/11 were in those buildings because of the horrifying history of capitalists showing callous disregard for innocent lives.

GIVE TUBULARSOCK A BREAK!

But that isn’t the entire story.
Nawar (Nora), was the 8-year-old daughter of Anwar al-Awlaki, a radical Yemeni-American cleric killed in a targeted U.S. drone strike in Yemen in 2011. A strike ordered by Obummer. Anwar al-Awlaki too was an American citizen born in New Mexico.

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And Obummer has never commented publicly on the targeted drone strike that accidentally killed Abdulrahman al-Awlaki, a 16-year-old American boy and the son of al Qaeda leader Anwar al-Awlaki in 2011. The teenager, Abdulrahman al-Awlaki, a U.S. citizen who was born in Denver in 1995.

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So so much for “protecting Americans”!

All this death and destruction was approved over dinner five days after the presidential inauguration by Orange-Tweet and his closest advisers.

Oh don’t worry, Tweet-boy didn’t lose any sleep over it and by using Carryn Owens as a propaganda prop it just showed better on TV! You see the Orange-Tweet could not help but brag that his words “. . . had inspired the hugest, greatest standing ovation ever, so long and loud, it’ll make your head spin. Believe me.”

 

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You know, Tubularsock thought he’d never see the day when Dick Cheney and George Bush would support ISIS and their “enhanced interrogation” methods. That is impressive!

Cutting off people’s heads isn’t barbaric it is standard policy for Cheney and Bush.

Ask Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson.

So Tubularsock just can’t wait for some U.S. military special op soldiers to get themselves captured by ISIS. And Tubularsock can’t wait for the ISIS videos of the different techniques that Dick and George enthusiastically support be shown on YouTube.

No really, Tubularsock is really excited. As you know the CIA destroyed the torture videos they took of the CIA doing it ….. sure it was against the law to destroy those videos …….. but shit, we are all looking forward not back!

What? Did you miss that memo?

No ……. it’s all good. Put anything up Dick’s and George’s ass and they just love it. Might even remind them of the Bohemian Grove.

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But what is really great is that the U.S. Government has come out of the closet on the entire torture thing. Now what a freeing experience.

You see at one time in our history and you do realize the American military has ALWAYS tortured (look into our fine attitude in the Philippines) but it was hidden and condemned as not a noble thing to do.

Don’t you remember? It was something those Japs did, and later the Gooks did. Hey, they were yellow people what else would you expect? Oh hell, yes even some white people did it both the Ruskyies and the Krauts tortured too but hey they were Communists and Nazis so what do you expect?

  

But Americans NEVER would do torture …….. really go back and watch the old World War II movies!

America had a better trained citizens army that had standards of conduct above all the rest.

Don’t you remember? Oh how could you …….. how silly of Tubularsock to forget  ……. we are all looking forward now!

Tubularsock will have to reread that memo.

The odd thing was that the United States, the country that stood above the rest as a beacon of decency had a SCHOOL FOR TORTURE. Talk about confusing the image.

That school was the U.S. Army’s School of the Americas. But like any good torture school it was rebranded in 2001 as the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation. Oh yes, rebranding it. What is surprising is that they didn’t call it “Happiness Farms”!  Hey, TORTURE as a product. How convenient, Tubularsock can see the ads now.

And yep, they still teach their students how to torture ……. that’s their purpose!

But of course they say it differently: “. . . cooperation among the participating nations and promote democratic values, respect for human rights, and knowledge and

understanding of U.S. customs and traditions.”

Now here’s a hint ……. see the loophole?

“ . . . understanding of U.S. customs and traditions”

And because Dick and George has brought torture out of the closet it is now part of America’s Customs and Traditions!

See, it’s all good now.

Just a side note: Brazil has just released a torture report this week and it detailed a pattern of killings and torture during a period of military dictatorship from 1964 to 1985.

And guess who happens to be mentioned as a major contributor to this pattern of killings and torture ……… THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Proving once again that it really is a Custom and Tradition of our country and Dick and George proudly stand behind this killing and torture because IT’S AMERICAN!

An interesting point that’s fun is the report by Brazil’s National Truth Commission is only 2000 pages long as opposed to the U.S. Senate’s report which was 6700 pages long. Which only goes to show you that we just have more Customs and Traditions to deal with in our country.

And the VERY BEST part …….. Brazil released all 2000 pages to the public! But our grand “democracy” released kicking and screaming only 524 redacted pages to the public. With even the likes of John Kerry calling Diane Feinstein before the release to warn her that the release may cause safety concerns to Americans.

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The amazing thing to Tubularsock is just how high the stack of bull shit goes.

The only people in the ENTIRE WORLD that don’t know the amount and level of torture and murder this country does is the American public. The ones that when the planes hit the world trade towers just couldn’t fucking figure out ….. “WHY DO THEY HATE US?”

That same public are the ones that can’t figure out why so many black citizens are upset about being murder in the streets in this country like every fucking murder was the first time it happened!

The same racist pattern that Dick and George support and promote in dealing with all those little brown “terrorists” is the same racist pattern that is supported and promoted by the police in dealing with minority citizens within the United States.

The “general public” doesn’t see the treatment being dished out every day so when it comes bubbling up to the surface they see it as an isolated incident whether it’s in the streets of Ferguson or in the streets of Baghdad.

What they don’t understand is that it is a systemic problem of our Customs and Traditions!

When Insane Obama came to office with all that HOPE & CHANGE shit, people really did fall for the bull shit hook line and sinker. And the reason Tubularsock used a fishing reference here is because if you were awake you could tell it was FISHY from the get-go. In truth, if you weren’t brain dead even before the get-go!

Lets look at the big step in stopping torture that Mr. Step-an-Fetch-It Obama put in place.

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“Interrogation Techniques and Interrogation-Related Treatment.  Effective immediately, an individual in the custody or under the effective control of an officer, employee, or other agent of the United States Government, or detained within a facility owned, operated, or controlled by a department or agency of the United States, in any armed conflict, shall not be subjected to any interrogation technique or approach, or any treatment related to interrogation, that is not authorized by and listed in Army Field Manual 2 22.3 (Manual).” 

Wow, impressed? Sounds good doesn’t ………..

Want to know the loophole? Want to know why Obummer DIDN’T stop torture even NOW ……… and now means now, today. And we don’t need to look backward because we are in NOW! Nothing has changed ……..

  1. an individual in the custody or under the effective control of an officer, employee, or other agent of the United States Government . . .
  2. detained within a facility owned, operated, or controlled by a department or agency of the United States
  3. in any armed conflict

Get it yet?

1. Obummer’s executive order still permits “rendition”—the transfer of a terror suspect to another country for interrogation.

Boy, that was simple ………….

  1. No orders to stop were given, to the Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC), a clandestine force composed of elite fighters from several branches of the US armed forces. JSOC had run its own secret detention centers in Iraq.

You remember, right? ……. clandestine, that means “secret” so don’t tell anyone.

  1. And torture is still conducted at Guantanamo but they call it by different names so all’s good.

 

When the United States ratified the Convention Against Torture, it required that the United States would extradite or prosecute those who commit, or are complicit in, the commission of torture.

You know that was one of those international treaties to make the world a better place and we signed it. Or rather it was that old mentality fucked up Ronald Reagan that signed that treaty. The guy who condoned the murder and torture programs in Latin America that Brazil is still dealing with to this day. Not to mention Chile, Nicaragua, Argentina, Honduras ………………….

The Convention Against Torture that Ron signed for the U.S. states in Article 2 that:

1. Each State Party shall take effective legislative, administrative, judicial or other measures to prevent acts of torture in any territory under its jurisdiction.

2. No exceptional circumstances whatsoever, whether a state of war or a threat or war, internal political instability or any other public emergency, may be invoked as a justification of torture.

  1. An order from a superior officer or a public authority may not be invoked as a justification of torture. . . .

But hey, don’t you worry bout a thing!

Because the notorious March 2003 memo written by John Yoo, who was then deputy assistant attorney general for the office of legal counsel, said Bush’s wartime authority had priority over any international ban on torture.

So there you have it ……….. isn’t law fun ………. just takes one guy with a law degree to negate the law. And not only laws of the U.S. but laws of the WORLD! How convenient, don’t you think?

But the Convention Against Torture also had Article 4 which states that,

1. Each State Party shall ensure that all acts of torture are offences under its criminal law. The same shall apply to an attempt to commit torture and to an act by any person which constitutes complicity or participation in torture.

But of course John Yoo said that that can’t apply because a President’s WAR POWERS negates ALL laws on torture ……. and he did that with only ONE memo.

Shows you how far we have come in America. At the Constitutional Convention of 1787 to create the LAWS OF THE LAND it took Jefferson, Adams, and Franklin several drafts before they created the LAWS OF THE LAND ……… John Yoo, one fucking memo!

Next time just a tweet will do …… that’s progress!

But yet the Convention Against Torture also had Article 15 which states that,

Each State Party shall ensure that any statement which is established to have been made as a result of torture shall not be invoked as evidence in any proceedings . . .

Oh wow ……. there goes all those Guantanamo kangaroo trials now doesn’t it?

Not according to John Yoo’s memo.

In fact,  on January 8th 2006, John Yoo publicly argued that “. . . there is no law that could prevent the President from ordering the torture of a child of a suspect in custody – including by crushing that child’s testicles”. Sweet.

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The Constitution of the United States is the SUPREME LAW OF THE LAND!

And United States Constitution in Article 6 states rather clearly that:

“This Constitution, and the laws of the United States which shall be made in pursuance thereof; and all treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the United States, shall be the supreme law of the land; and the judges in every state shall be bound thereby, anything in the Constitution or laws of any State to the contrary notwithstanding.”

And Tubularsock agrees with none other than Condoleezza Rice – Bush’s National Security Advisor and then Secretary of State when in 2005 she stated,

“Torture, and conspiracy to commit torture, are crimes under U.S. law, wherever they may occur in the world.”

Even though to date she hasn’t turned herself in to the authorities.

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Yes,  “there is no one above the law.”

And Tubularsock is in 100% agreement with our Fuhrer . Oh my, Tubularsock meant to say our ahh, well Fuhrer!

But there is a loophole ……… can you see it?

Ok, let Tubularsock explain:

You see “there is no one above the law” but you have to understand the system.

There are some citizens that can’t get into the building ……. they are barred! Mostly the very poor and the mentally ill.

There are some citizens that have the stairs and can fill out the forms and march them up to the top floor courtroom.

There are some citizens that have the escalator and they fill out the forms and glide up to the top floor courtroom.

There are some citizens that have others fill out the forms and ride the elevator to the top floor courtroom.

And then ……. there are just a limited number of citizens that have others fill out and deliver the forms and ride the express elevator to the top floor courtroom. They don’t have the time for the law.

And then there is an extremely limited number that have others fill out and deliver the forms and their representatives arrive by helicopter above the top floor. THEY are above the law ……and so are their friends! They don’t have time for government interference.

That is the legal structure in reality in the United States so now being clear about how the system works how many convictions for torture and supporting torture do you think will be executed?

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Well save your energy. You don’t  have to hold up even one finger.

But with all the laws that are and all the laws that aren’t. With all the justifications for it and all the arguments against it,

it all boils down to this …………..

IT IS JUST WRONG ……. THERE IS NO CORRECT WRONG ……. IT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG TO TREAT ANYONE THIS WAY! PERIOD.

AND IF YOU CAN’T FEEL THAT, THEN YOU ARE ONE FUCKED UP MOTHERFUCKER, YOU REALLY DO NEED HELP.

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Tubularsock has JUST figured it out!

And now let Tubularsock say it before others …… “thank you Tubularsock!”

Well, Tubularsock has many hats, sort of speak, and then with cleaning the bunker and all, well it took some time to figure it out ……….

Anyway ………

Even after you figure it out it’s not without confusion.

Now there is al Qaeda, and al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, and al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb and ISIL, Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (Islamic State) or ISIS, Islamic State in Iraq and Syria or DAIISH (or DIISH or DAISH) the group’s name in Arabic al dawla al islamiyye f’il iraq w’al sham …….. aren’t acronyms fun?

The last three are the same group which is confusing in the first place.

And then the Al-Nusra Front, and Al-Shabaab, and 63 others on the United States terrorists list.

But the new kid on the block is the Khorasan group. Oh yea!

And they don’t even appear on the terrorist list!

The Pentagon said that they were “seasoned al Qaeda veterans”!

AND these battle-hardened al Qaeda fighters travelled from Afghanistan, Pakistan and elsewhere to Syria allegedly to plot several attacks on American interests.

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Muhsin al-FadhliAnd GET SCARED because the leader of this band of merry men is Muhsin al-Fadhli, a designated terrorist and apparent 9/11 insider who received advance notification that terrorists would strike the United States on September 11, 2001, along with George W. Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, the CIA, the FBI, the Mossad, the SVR (the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service), the Saudi Intelligence Agency and some Israeli “students” who were taking pictures and jumping for joy as it was happening.

But Muhsin al-Fadhli is no longer with us because our bomb attack wiped him out! Or that is what the “social-media” has been reporting.

But Susan Rice, the  U.S. National Security Advisor stated, “We can’t confirm that at this stage. We’ve seen reports on social media to that effect. We will continue to look for signs as to whether or not that’s, in fact, the case.”

So you can see that EXTREME EVIL may be impervious to death no matter if the bombing mission cost us $500 million dollars!

Now don’t you worry. Remember in our last escapade when we would kill the worst of the worst al Qaeda leader only to discovery that a new leader would appear and we’d kill him and then the next ……

Well, trust Tubularsock on this, there are plenty to go around!

And as for the “FACT” that these seasoned battle-hardened al Qaeda fighters that make up the Khorasan group are sitting all together to be bomb is got to be amazing when we were lead to believe by Dick Cheney that the “worst of the worst” of al Qaeda were locked up in Guantanamo.

Wow, just who can one believe?

Anyway ……. there is plenty of fear to go around.

You see Muhsin al-Fadhli is/was being trained by the SCARIEST OF SCARIEST bomb maker that the world has ever known, Ibrahim al-Asiri !!!!!!

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Ibrahim al-Asiri was the “chief” bomb maker of al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula.

He was responsible for making the bomb that was used in the “2009 Christmas Day bomb plot” in which the Nigerian passenger, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, attempted to set off plastic explosives sewn to his underwear.

The result was Abdulmutallab burnt his dick but the bomb failed!

And then Ibrahim al-Asiri also made the bombs for the “2010 cargo plane bomb plot” in which plastic explosives and a detonating mechanism, were found on separate cargo planes. The plastic explosives were hidden in a printer cartridges in each plane.

These bombs were never detonated but were discovered as a result of intelligence received from Saudi Arabia’s security network.

So this is all the work of the MASTERMIND BOMB MAKER attacking the United States. Three bombs no explosions.

Scared yet?

Well Ibrahim al-Asiri did have one, kind-of successful, bomb that he made detonate.

And that is the one where he took the plastic explosives and shoved them up the “rectum” of his 23 year old brother, Abdullah al-Asiri. Abdullah then detonated himself in an attempt to assassinate Muhammad bin Nayef, the Saudi deputy minister of Interior but he detonated his plastic-explosive-rectum-device by cell phone too early and Nayef was only slightly injured.

Needless to say Abdullah did not fair as well. Could it be that he dialed the wrong number?xplow copy

So what we have here is a hint that the al-Asiri family aren’t the brightest crayons in the box. One brother can’t make a workable bomb except the one he put up his younger brother’s rectum.

And the younger brother who has his head up his ass even to agree to having plastic explosives shoved in his butt!

Yet, Ibrahim is the guy that is helping the now blown up Khorasan group to make bombs.

What is wrong with this picture?

And to make matters worse if you remember the “Christmas Bomber” was escorted onto that passenger fight without being run through security and without a passport! Say What!

So this is the MASTERMIND BOMB MAKER that has frightened the United States to bomb the Khorasan group?

But that isn’t the only bombing that has occurred due to Ibrahim and his bomb making attempts. Last year a CIA drone strike took out Ahmed Said Saad, a Syrian medical doctor who had been working with Ibrahim on his experiments.

You see, the rectum-bomb worked, it actually blew-up! So Ibrahim teamed up with Ahmed Said Saad (a medical doctor) before the CIA droned him and according to U.S. officials succeeded in developing a bomb that can be surgically implanted inside the human body. The military refers to such a weapon as a “surgically implanted improvised explosive device,” or SIIED. …….. aren’t acronyms fun?

So the plan is that radicalized Westerners who have Western passports will be implanted with these implanted bombs and blow themselves up within the United States.

And to think that Ibrahim al-Asiri, dropped out of his chemistry class in college which just goes to show you that “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing”.

Anyway this is what Tubularsock has figured out. The solution to these deadly human weapons. And how to detonate them BEFORE they cause damage to others.

Well we could take the old fashion approach and just stop bombing people so as not to make MORE terrorists but sane approaches are not respected due to the simple fact that by doing that huge profits would have to be forfeited …… need Tubularsock say more?

An approach needs to be expensive, wasteful, and secret because that is the only way the public will believe they are safe.

Now Tubularsock is used to being ridiculed and persecuted for his futuristic ideas but that has never stopped him before. Mockery and derision is always directed at those on the cutting edge.

And huge profit? …….. Tubularsock can get behind that but only because saving the nation is the only patriotic priority.

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Now if you would care to invest in Tubularsock’s new venture just send a check, cash, bit coin, a goat, a pick-up truck, a bushel of non-GMO corn to:

New Technology Mega Data Implementation, Ltd.

333 Underground Bunker

Secret City, CA 66633-5484

Now here is the expensive, wasteful, and secret plan. WARNING, it is in code.

Now Tubularsock has estimated that there are “X” number of terrorists.

The NSA has EVERYBODY’S cell phone number.

The number of terrorists with cell phones are “XY”

The number of non-terrorist with cell phones are “Z”

Are you still following this? Don’t you have something better to do with your time?

X – XY= WYZ

Z – WXZ= HZYU The exact number of terrorists using cell phones.

Or something like that ………

So NTMDI, Ltd. will call every “HZYU” every six minutes ( the seventh minute we rest).

So if a terrorist is in the process of carrying a SIIED he’d explode ……

And NTMDI, Ltd would charge $3.00 per call to the government or NTMDI, Ltd +  HZYU = a fucking great deal of $$$$$$$$. ………. Aren’t acronyms fun?   

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What do you think? Brilliant or what?

Ok, bottom line …… the U.S. Government will fall for this and if Tubularsock can get enough Congressmen/women to fall for this WE (my investors) will be catapulted into the 1%!

Hell, we’ll even be able to use the United States Senate’s Gym to do push-ups!

Save the accolades for later ……. cash is preferred!

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From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

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From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

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The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

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That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

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However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

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Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

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Stolen

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Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

DairyQueed gang

(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

Mystery

 

 

 

footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

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Tubularsock was ask by the blog site Deconstructing Myths to contribute an article to their Mic check guest blogger series.

The opportunity is simple: To open information up to a broader audience than Tubularsock presently has and to present that information within a forum of enlightened and creative people .

 Deconstructing Myths is the creation of Jeff Nguyen, a multi-talented  fellow with the stated goal of  “. . . shed[ing] light on some of the important issues of our time.” And to find “collective solutions” to the problems found in our world today.

But the largest focus of Jeff’s work to is “. . . to deconstruct the myths many of us have been raised on through the powerful influence of the media and teachings of the dominant culture.”

That works for Tubularsock!

 

So the bottom line is simple …………. to read this Tubularsock blog post you too will have to travel to:          http://deconstructingmyths.com/

 

And I want to thank Jeff for this great opportunity ………… I am sure all of you will agree, “Tubularsock needs all the help he can get!”

 

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