Archive for the ‘Diplomacy’ Category

NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS: DEPLORABLE!

You may not recall (unless you have been a long time reader of Tubularsock) but back in July of 2014 Tubularsock, President Obama’s Secretary of the Inferior was reported MISSING and besides the many conspiracy theories and the reported missing Air Force One that was possibly sited at a Dairy Queen in DelRio, Texas later, there was little follow up and the story disappeared from the news cycles.
( see: https://tubularsock.com/2014/07/02/news-before-it-happens-the-secretary-of-the-inferior-missing/)

Well interesting enough the Tubularsock News Team has just received some interesting evidence that there may be some LINK between President Donald Trump’s very close advisor and confident, Tubularsock – Secretary of the Deplorables!

THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS STORY SO THE ALTERNATIVE FACTS CHANGE RAPIDLY!

As was done back on July 2, 2014 again the crack Tubularsock News Team has turned its investigative journalism over to the tabloid The New York Toast in order to not be accused of conflict of interest.

To keep this all in it’s historical perspective the cover of the The New York Toast of that period is presented so you may be able to compare and contrast and find any clues that will help to sort out this sorted affair. YOU, as a citizen, may be able to see what to date the “experts” have been unable to see.

Recently some have noticed that President Trump has been spending an inordinate amount of time with his Secretary of the Deplorables.

 

 

“There appears to be some indication that President Trump has decided to retain Tubularsock, Secretary of the Deplorables for a new position”, according to a White House staff member who wasn’t authorized to publicly discuss private policy considerations and spoke on condition of anonymity.

 

 

THIS IS STILL A BREAKING NEWS STORY, THAT IS OBVIOUS!

SO STAY TUNED FOR RAPIDLY CHANGING ALTERNATIVE FACTS DEPENDING WHICH WAY THE WIND BLOWS.

 

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TRUMP NON-FAKEISH NEWS

Now who can you trust with your news information in today’s ALTURNUT news?

Well there is ONLY ONE clears source!

Why not go to the BOTTOM OF THE BARREL where all news ends up in a brine of truth that ONLY the Tubularsock Unbiased News Service can interpret for you.

Join all the other lost news junkie souls and start Jonesing on the truth!

THIS IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OR ADVERTISEMENT FOR TUNS,LTD.

It is a testimonial of truth …….. hey, Trust Tubularsock …….. he’s deplorable!

TRUMP’S VagCHINA DIALOGUE

Now here is something scary for you. Donald El Orange is having a meet-up with China’s President Xi Jinping at Mar a Lago.

Funny how everything sounds “foreign” in that sentence to Tubularsock’s American ears.

They will be talking about trade policy.

Well, not El Orange. He doesn’t even know how to hold a chop stick let alone how many container cargo shipping containers it takes to ship Chinese chop sticks to our shores.

So he’s not much good except with positive or negative platitudes.

And THERE ARE NO others in this current administration that knows ANYTHING about China.

“But without a competent and proven Asia specialist team in place, the fog of uncertainty will only thicken over the Trump administration’s commitment to and understanding of the region.” Heydarian & Crispin, Asian Times 4/6/17

Now there are some guys that have been mentioned to take on the Asian “portfolio” like Jonathan Galaviz, a business consultant and frequent commentator on the gaming and casino industries in Asia may be picked to a top Asia-oriented State Department post.

And who doesn’t need a specialist in “gaming and casino” skills when dealing with China!

“Trump’s inability to assemble a team of senior expert officials to direct the Pentagon, State Department and National Security Council (NSC) policies toward Asia is one of several vacuums . . . to emerge in his two-and-a-half-month old administration. Critics say the vacuum has resulted in wild lurches in policy and pronouncements, and sewn confusion with allies and adversaries alike.” Heydarian & Crispin, Asian Times 4/6/17

So far Donald’s Asia Policy seems to have been threats of potential trade actions against various Asian nations, including China, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam and others.

So the old fashion Dale Carnegie, How To Win Friends And Influence People is not a strong suit in Donald El Orange’s bailiwick.

But NEVER FEAR! Whenever Tubularsock is confronted with major “Oriental” dilemmas, Tubularsock puts down his double neat shot of Single Barrel Kentucky Wild Turkey and reaches for his favorite IMPORTED Japanese Sake dispensing with those small little cups and drinking it Wild-Western-Style from the bottle!

THAT’S TUBULARSOCK’S ASIAN TRADE POLICY!

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Tubularsock had to leave the Bunker to gather food. Usually Tubularsock remains incommunicado until well after the first of each year. One reason is that if Tubularsock stays away from people during late December and early January Tubularsock doesn’t have to listen to “Oh, happy holidays or Merry Christmas” and that fucking “Happy New Year” shit!

Some years Tubularsock has gotten through “obsessive-happy-days” without contact. But not this year.

Now Tubularsock’s response to the standard happy-cheer-statements is a clear diversionary tactic such as “Same to you fella, and So’s your mother!” That usually stops them from further conversation. As well as having them move quickly away.

Anyway, as Tubularsock pulled out of the garage of Tubularsock’s top floor corner office underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA (see Bunker Tour) in his pickup Tubularsock turned on the radio and as fate would have it a CBS programed interview was in progress. Now how did CBS even find its way onto Tubularsock’s radio dial. That was a surprise to Tubularsock …….. well that’s radio for ya’!

Anyway within this interview the commentator weaved in the standard programmed reference to the Russian’s being blamed into hacking into our elections …. as if it were fact.

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Remember repeat the lie often enough ……….

The fact, that to date there has been NO PROOF provided is par for the course.

And the master-bating-media seems to just beat off to a different drummer.

Now really, so far, THERE IS NO PROOF!

But Obummer today is kicking 35 Russian intelligence operatives out of the US, the NY Times reports. The agencies are believed to have been involved in hacking the Democratic National Committee and others.

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But look …… it is all bull shit. What Obummer really is doing is putting the onus on Donald Trump to lift the sanctions when he takes office, officially signaling that US intelligence agencies can’t be trusted. (Like, exactly who does trust them anyway?)

You see, it is just a game. A simple school yard game between the boys. The unfortunate part, as usual, some poor innocents will be harmed at some point and we’ll all rally around the flag with THE RUSSIAN’S DID IT! Whatever the IT happens to be this week.

And as we see the almost black boy and the clearly orange boy slug it out before the end-of-recess bell rings as we ponder why Putin appears to be the only intelligent MAN in the game. Maybe it’s the vodka.

 

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THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG: a bin Laden story.

Now everyone knows when it comes to fowl stories Tubularsock is on top of his game. Some even go as far as to say that Tubularsock is for the birds. Whatever!

Tubularsock just loves a good story and as luck would have it it is, THE SAME OLD STORY.

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So let’s start at the beginning.

Mohammed bin Laden and his tenth wife Hamida al-Attas fucked and had little Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden.(an interesting fun fact is that Bin Laden’s name was as long as his 6’ 4” body when he became an adult. Could that have been some kind of sign?)

Osama’s dad had 58 children from 22 wives but as Sharia Law requires he only had four wives at a time. Damn rules!

Now like any good Moslem dad Mohammed divorced Hamida soon after Osama was born. ( Which may or may not tell us something about what Bin Laden was like as a baby.)

And Bin Laden’s mother then married a man named Muhammad al-Attas, who worked at the bin Laden company. (Sure, Tubularsock wonders just how many of the 22 wives ended up with bin Laden company employees. Just one big happy family. Just imagine the Christmas party, oops.)

Ok. Let’s fast forward ……… is this fun or what?

There is enough agreement that Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born. In fact Tubularsock has not seen any documentation to date to question that this did not occur.

The problem? How did, when did, and who did die and was it bin Laden at all. There’s the rub!

So what is clear is bin Laden was born from there on, a story but “facts” ….. NOT SO MUCH!

It has been reported that Osama was 6’4” or maybe 6’6” tall. Or maybe less. It occurred to Tubularsock that math and measurement was an early achievement of the Arab World but no one even thought about getting out a measuring rod?

Remember The Navy Seals AFTER THE SUPPOSED KILLING of Bin in his bedroom laid down beside his crumpled bloody body to judge how tall he was ….. wow, those Navy Seals are kinky fuckers and none-too bright.

With all the equipment that they carry no one thought a measuring tape could be handy? Very poor planning if you ask Tubularsock. (you may have noticed no one has asked Tubularsock)

And after the unarmed old man in his bathrobe is blown apart by massive gun fire THEN they start to wonder if it was Bin or not? (side note to self: don’t hang out with Navy Seal bat-shit-nut cases)

In terms of personality, bin Laden was described as a soft-spoken, mild mannered, left handed man who used a cane.

Because Bin never exhibited any Fred Astaire moves it was assumed the cane was for health reasons. His bodyguard CONTENDED Soviet chemical weapons were to blame for his malady but reporters SPECULATED that kidney disease was the cause.

The CIA BELIEVED that bin Laden had Marfan syndrome or kidney disease.(Wright, Lawrence. The Looming Towern. New York: Vintage, 2006.)

The CIA THOUGHT that the possibility of kidney disease was credible. They concluded that bin Laden did not need dialysis, but does suffer from kidney stones.(Robert Windrem. “CIA is looking for a few good doctors.” NBC News, Dec. 29, 2004.)

On July 1, 2002, Time Magazine reported “. . . that physicians who analyzed photos of bin Laden determined that he PROBABLY suffers from secondary osteoporosis, which is often related to diabetes and kidney trouble”. (“Bin Laden Alive as of Late December”, Reuters; Sun Jun 30, 2002.)

Are you getting the picture? CONTENDED, SPECULATED, BELIEVED, THOUGHT, PROBABLY these are descriptive words for we don’t know shit about bin Laden’s true health condition.

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Now David Ray Griffin, who Tubularsock has very high regard for concluded that Osama bin Laden died in late 2001 or 2002. But when you look closely at Griffin’s claims his evidence is based on rather weak information, if you ask Tubularsock. (you may have noticed no one has asked Tubularsock)

David Ray Griffin states the following five things from his article “Osama Bin Laden: Dead or Alive?” to show that Bin Laden is dead:

“1. The CIA up until mid-December 13, 2001, had regularly been intercepting messages between bin Laden and his people. At that time, however, the messages suddenly stopped, and the CIA has never again intercepted a message. (maybe he figured out he was being listened to?)

 2. On December 26, 2001, a leading Pakistani newspaper published a story reporting that bin Laden had died in mid-December. ( oh! a leading Pakistani newspaper, then it must be true)

 3. Osama bin Laden had kidney disease. He had been treated for it in the American  Hospital in Dubai in July 2001, at which time he REPORTEDLY ordered two dialysis machines to take home. (see below)

 4. In July of 2002, CNN reported that bin Laden’s bodyguards had been captured in February of that year, adding: “Sources believe that if the bodyguards were captured away from bin Laden, it is likely the most-wanted man in the world is dead.” (maybe they were on break)

 5. The United States has since 2001 offered a $25 million reward for any information leading to the capture or killing of bin Laden. But this reward offer has produced no such information.” (until now)

But when you look at all five of these examples and follow them out they are all based on conjecture NOT HARD FACTS. Even Number 3, the Dubai hospital information can be called into question if you look at it.

The one reported “fact” that bin Laden was in the American Hospital in Dubai in July 2001 and according to CBS News “. . . was being given kidney dialysis treatment in a hospital in Pakistan . . . the night before the 9/11 attacks” was first reported by the French newspaper Le Figaro.

The story was drawn from a leak from French intelligence (according to The Guardian) and not only provided bin Laden’s hospital visit but also the story that the CIA Bureau Chief “. . . was seen in the lift, on his way to see Bin Laden, and later, it is alleged, boasted to friends about his contact. He was recalled to Washington soon afterwards”.

The hospital “emphatically” denied that bin Laden was admitted to the hospital and the CIA denied that their bureau chief visited. Oh gosh, just who can one believe?

And then there is the kidney dialysis treatment itself.

CNN reporting on Pakistan’s president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, speculation that bin Laden had likely died of kidney failure was then supported by CNN’s medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta who proceeded to evaluate A VIDEO with some earlier photos of bin Laden and concluded “. . . that he appeared to be in the last stages of kidney failure”.

From this Tubularsock would not go on record that bin Laden died in 2001 or in 2014 either. But what is clear is that whatever story the United States Government comes up with will be and is A LIE. That is the only FACT Tubularsock can draw from all of this bullshit.

Oh, but there’s more ……. wouldn’t you know.

According to Salon, in the article, The Many Deaths of Osama bin Laden on May 1, 2011 Justin Elliott writes:

“The false reports of Osama bin Laden’s death began almost immediately after Sept. 11, 2001, and persisted at a rate of at least once or twice a year, every year. The reports — generated by (usually anonymous) statements by American officials and a dizzying array of foreign sources — often generated international headlines.

Here’s a sampling:

July, 2002 FBI counterterrorism chief Dale Watson tells a law enforcement conference of bin Laden: “I personally think he is probably not with us anymore, but I have no evidence to support that.”

August,2002 Popular conspiracy-mongering radio host Alex Jones announces, citing high-level Bush administration sources, “that bin Laden died of natural causes and that his family has given the body to the CIA.” Jones added, “they’re gonna roll him out right before the election, he’s on ice right now.”

May, 2003 French military analyst announces that bin Laden was killed in an American air raid in Tora Bora shortly after the invasion of Afghanistan in 2001.

February, 2004 Iranian Radio reports that bin Laden was captured in the Afghan-Pakistan border area “a long time ago” — but the official announcement was delayed because “Bush is intending to use it for propaganda maneuvering in the presidential election.”

April, 2002 The Israeli press picks up an account from a radical Muslim London newspaper: “We now report that the al-Qaeda organization has announced the death of Osama Bin Laden.”

September, 2006 French intel document says that Saudis believe bin Laden had died of typhoid in Pakistan.

June, 2008 Citing two unnamed officials, Time magazine reports that a recent CIA study has concluded bin Laden has long-term kidney disease and “may only have months to live.”

April, 2009 Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari tells the media that his country’s intel services “obviously feel that [bin Laden] does not exist anymore”’

But even here Justin Elliott shows bias by starting off his report with “The false reports of Osama bin Laden’s death . . .”

An interesting link that Tubularsock found in these travels to find bin Laden is:

http://www.newsmine.org/content.php?ol=9-11/binladen/death/fbi-%20says-bin-laden-probably-dead.txt

You will discover here that Osama bin Laden has spent more time dead than living. Which in itself is an amazing feat for this amazing man.

So all the attack toward Seymour Hersh and his article on the re-death of bin Laden on May 11, 2011 is just another bin Laden death. The only thing it lacks is the Dairy Queen sightings with Elvis.

But it could be the true death of bin Laden or it could just as easily NOT be his final death.

So it might be helpful for a quick “fill in the blanks” historically for you and this little video made by Tubularsock in 2007 may help you recall what all this Afghanistan business was all about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZFn407MpZc

If you ask Tubularsock ……. I LIKE BIN LADEN AND ALWAYS DID. (BUT NOBODY ASK TUBULARSOCK)

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NEWS THAT ISN’T!

The German Economic News  reported that a current Princeton/Northwestern University study has discovered that, The United States is no longer a democracy. Well no shit, Dick Tracy!

It takes two Universities to study and come to THAT conclusion?

Even a fucking beer swigging, football watching, wife beater, with a sixth grade education has figured that out just sit’en on his fat ass! It’s just that he doesn’t give a shit!

You see the Universities discovered that “. . . political decisions no longer serve the needs of citizens, but the interests of a small economic elite”. Wow. That’s as surprising as “fish have fins”.

Where in the fuck have these “educated people” been! Fucking DisneyLand?

And sit down because they discovered that in the realm of foreign policy it is the COMMERCIAL INTERESTS not the American citizen that the U.S. Government represents.

And they found that, “In the United States, the majority does not rule . . . As soon as a majority disagrees with the economic elites or organized groups, the majority loses . Although in the US the majority principle is incorporated in the Constitution, we note that even if fairly large majorities want a certain policy, they do not get it “.

The researchers determined that the U.S. government has become an oligarchy or a Corporatocracy. This means that a very few among the privileged and wealthy are literally controlling everything.

And Congress and the President do not have as much power as the American people previously thought but are controlled by the elite.

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Now there is no surprise here for those who have wanted to see the truth but most Americans believe that their VOTE counts for something. IT DOESN’T! It is all a sham.

And you can vote for Hillary or Jeb but you’ll get the same government. These people are just puppet figure heads and nothing more!

Tubularsock just can’t figure out why something so obvious is refused to be seen by the general American public.

Regardless of whether we face it or not it will not remain this way. It will either be the American public forcing a demand for change and going to the streets in mass or a collapse from within from the weight, just because shit is heavy, and that weight will bring us down.

Either way it will not hold!

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