Archive for the ‘Pussy Riot’ Category

TRUMP HALL OF MIRRORS!

 

Tubularsock is having a little bit of trouble with this Putin-Trump-Thingee.

Now what does it tell you that Donnie and Vlad met in “secret” under “rib vaults, and flying buttresses” in The Presidential Palace’s Gothic Hall in Helsinki?

Followed by a wider working lunch in The Hall of Mirrors.

Think on this, just a moment.

The Gothic part may show that Putin has been influenced more than we have been led to believe by Pussy Riot, the feminist Russian punk-rock collective based in Moscow.

Pussy Riot may seem a little Goth at times to Vlad and Donnie’s proclivity toward grabbing pussy makes it a great reminder of the “pee-pee-tape” so as not to have to remind Donnie of Vlad’s influence. Always best unsaid though loud and clear.

And then of course ………. The Hall of Mirrors.

NOW THAT TELLS US EVERYTHING!  

On the one hand there is the problem that meddling in our elections is something new and our moral high ground on this activity is ludicrous. Like we have never done this constantly to nearly every country on the globe. What was the CIA created to do anyway?

So lets get this straight, once again.

Killery DID NOT lose the election because of Russian meddling!

Killary lost the election because she IS/WAS a lying, conniving, corrupted corporate-Democrap bitch!

Plain and simple!

And the American public knew it.

Can we lay that to rest now?

And hasn’t it been convenient that Killery’s total corrupt rigging of the Democrap primary edging Bernie out has all but disappeared. EVEN BY FUCKING BERNIE!

Talking about collusion ……. fuck Bernie too!

On the other hand …….. that fucking pee-tape must be one hell of a show! There is no doubt that Vlad has got Dump by the balls! Wow, that is gross just thinking about this!

 

And then third …….. Tubularsock is in favor of working with the Russians and ending this neo-con cold war bull shit.

Remember back in 2009 Step-en-fetch-it-Obummer and Killery-of-state wanted to “reset” U.S. relations with Russia. So why all this backlash when Dump is going after it?

The U.S. might try something new this century and get along with others rather than attempting to control others. Tubularsock knows how unreasonable this seem to the rabid and stupid deplorables but they seem to love their Imbecile-In-Chief and with his love fest with Vlad we might get peace in our time.

Oh sure, if it all goes well Dump with get brand new hotels in Moscow AND Vladivostok and the rest of us will get sauerkraut for dinner.

Hell …… that is pretty good faire for peasants!

 

Advertisements

PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

Translations of above statements:

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tube heading slingshot 2014

 

TUBE ON DIPLOMACY

 

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube lighting

 

Oh gosh and golly-gee. Tubularsock was sitting in his top floor corner office in his under ground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C from Oakland, CA musing over a couple of articles from the Huffington Post.

Tubularsock can’t really say many good things about the Huffington Post but on a day like today Tubularsock will read anything.

And these articles jumped out and landed on the desk so Tubularsock thought he’d put them into a verbal collage to see just what would happen.

The first article was about how “people” are not happy with Nicki Minaj’s new video.

Wow! Now there’s some “news”!

So Tubularsock put on his Cultural-Investigative-Reporter-Hat and went to work.

Admittedly Tubularsock is a bit out of the loop because Tubularsock didn’t know who Nicki Minaj happened to be. Now how in the fuck did Tubularsock miss this?

Nicki Minaj

Well come to find out Nicki is a rather famous singer. Or Tubularsock thinks that what she does. Her videos are ……… well ah ……. she’s listed under music on YouTube anyway. Or maybe Tubularsock should say she isn’t Guy Lombardo.

Tubularsock likes rap as a form and the beat is hot but the lyrics get a little boring unless they are actually saying something.

Nicki’s lyrics do have a nice rhyme to them but the subject matter is well here’s an example:

“This dude named Michael

used to ride motorcycles

Dick bigger than a tower,

I ain’t talking about Eiffel’s

Real country-ass nigga,

let me play with his rifle

Pussy put his ass to sleep,

now he calling me NyQuil . . .”

Tubularsock can’t wait for NyQuil to pick up Nicki for an advertising contract. Hey! Like it could happen at the Super-Bowl!

Or maybe this “song” Anaconda could end up like one of those wedding song the bride and groom sing to each other after the ceremony. You know they may have to change some names around but the wedding consultant deals with that! Like it could happen!

That was her old video. Her new video is the “song” Only.

And I’ll bet you can not guess what people are “UNHAPPY” about in this new video.

Yep. You guessed it ……………. The Video included Nazi Imagery!

NAZI THEME

Oh Yeah! Wow, can’t have that now can we ……… I guess it clashes with the lyrics like,

“Yo  I never fucked Wayne never fucked Drake

On my life man fuck sake

If I did I’d Minaj with wid’ him and let ‘em eat my ass

like a cupcake

My man full he just ate. . .”

The social media went off the deep end about the Nazi shit but seemed to miss the lyrics as objectionable. But if Nicki’s life man doesn’t give a shit Tubularsock isn’t going to get work up over it! It did make Tubularsock sit back and wonder about “our” cultural priorities. But on the other-hand Drake rhymes well with sake and cupcake so all’s good.

Tubularsock figures people noticed how close our country is coming into it’s Nazi phase and have become alarmed. Yeah, right! But on the other-hand Nazi phase rhymes with USA so all’s good.

Now Tubularsock realizes that to transition into the second subject will seem like “A Tube Leap Forward” but trust Tubularsock here and we’ll end up in China.

And yes, as difficult as it may appear …….. there is a connection, or at least in Tubularsock’s mind. (scary isn’t it)

You know that Obummer and Putin are party’en down in China at the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation forum. And hey, they spoke to each other for a good twenty minutes. You know there isn’t a lot to say about economic cooperation when Obummer is pushing economic sanctions against Putin.

HEY GUYS, THAT'S TUBULARSOCK'S iPAD.

HEY GUYS, THAT’S TUBULARSOCK’S iPAD.

But that is the boring part!

No the part of all of this China stuff that Tubularsock wants to bring to your attention is Putin hit’en on Peng Liyuan, China’s First Lady.

(L TO R) Putin, Tubularsock, Xi Jinping, Peng Liyuan.

(L TO R) Putin, Tubularsock, Xi Jinping, Peng Liyuan.

According to the Washington Times Putin presented Peng Liyuan a bouquet of flowers at a public event! There’s that Putin right out there with the hustle, right?

BUT LATER at the opening dinner for the APEC forum Putin was sitting next to Peng Liyuan and he got up and draped his coat over her shoulders because she was cold.

Or as the Washington Times put it:

With zero hesitation, Putin stood up, grasped his tan coat with both hands and draped it over the Chinese first lady’s delicate shoulders.

It was move that oozed smooth, though skirting dangerously close to flirtatious. (Cue jokes about Russian  aggressions.)

Peng, faced with the awkward prospect of sitting through dinner beside her husband with another man’s coat around her shoulders, handled it quickly.

After five seconds — long enough perhaps to show appreciation for the chivalry, short enough not to call attention to the awkwardness of it all — she stood up, discreetly handed Putin’s coat to an attendant and slipped on another jacket.

Now what struck Tubularsock about all this is that there was a time in our cultural history that a man who gave flowers to a woman or took it upon himself to drape a coat over the shoulders of a friend that was cold was considered to be chivalrous.

So you see how the times have changed and it may be considered “old-fashioned” but it does not mean that Putin was “hit’en” on her!

No hit’en on her in our modern culture today would require that Putin say loving words in her ear like,

This dude named Vlad used to ride motorcycles

Dick bigger than a tower,

I ain’t talking about Eiffel’s

Oh, and Tubularsock suspects he’d have to do that in Chinese:

这家伙名叫弗拉德用来骑摩托车

迪克 · 比塔

我不在谈论埃菲尔的

(Bing translation)

Oh well, Tubularsock is just going to have to get with it and get modern

…….. damn, where are those cupcakes?

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube heading garbage2014

 

 

From a series of informed sources who are not authorized to speak on this issue but have nothing else to do today in the bloated government bureaucracy has presented an outline of the influence of the new Secretary Of The Inferior on the Obama Administration.*

The Tubularsock News Team has also sent our stealth photographer into the mix and has documented photographic evidence of all the rumor and innuendo.

As we like to say at the Tubularsock News Team break-room, “If a picture is worth a thousand words then this story is worth ten thousand words!”

Rather than be accused of conflict of interest we have turned our investigative journalism over to the tabloid, The New York Toast.

NY Toast Cover

From the very beginning fear in the Administration was palpable. Could a “commoner” be able to bond with the elite?

Well, our inside sources all concurred that the new Secretary Of The Inferior fit like a hand in a glove.

Lunch

The new Secretary Of The Inferior was asked by the press how he felt to be at the left hand of The President of the United States and he clearly stated, “no, the steak tartare please”.

The more comfortable the Secretary Of The Inferior became the more cautious distrust  appeared within the West Wing. In fact, down right suspiciousness of his intentions were felt and cloaked in plutocratic innuendo.

This type of approach to an obvious “outsider” was lost on the Secretary who felt that they liked him. But he started to isolate himself in the President’s office.

Tube pres office money

That suspicious attitude became more prevalent within the President himself.

Tube Obama family issues

However the Secretary Of The Inferior and Michelle became more ……..

Say ………… ahh, shall we say “friendly”?

Not being sure of the Secretary Of The Inferior’s intentions Obama started to take him with him whenever he traveled.

Tube obama plane door

Plane Wave

And then one day the President and the Secretary Of The Inferior were scheduled to fly to the Asian Conference in Kuala Lumpur.

Tube wave plane

Tube in cockpit

Stolen

Obama left

Now in any Presidential Administration lots of stuff gets stolen. Paper clips, ball point pens, computers, ground-keeper tools, ballistic missiles, large sums of cash, larger sums of cash, cash of larger sums than that and one’s integrity.

The biggest surprise is that anyone noticed.

Immediately Congress formed two committees, one in the House and one in the Senate. Each committee member and staff took it upon themselves to fly to Kuala Lumpur to see where Air Force One should have landed if it hadn’t been stolen.

It was verified that there was NO, they repeated NO, Air Force One on any golf course in Kuala Lumpur.

Senator John McCain was unable to say, “The terrorist have been part of this Obama Administration for some time and the Ukrainian people need all ….. no, I mean Palestine has to be considered ….. no, I mean  …”

The CIA, NSA, DIA, NGA, NRO, AFISRA, MI, MCIA, ONI, OICI, I&A, CGI, FB/NSB, DEA/ONSI, INR, and the TFI were all called into service but many of them were out of the office so a message was left with their respective receptionists. **

All of these agencies work separately and together to conduct intelligence activities and are under the I.C. which is headed by the DNI, who reports to the President.**

The FBI, DOS, DSS, IRS-CID, TIGTA, USMP, DOD, DCIS, CID, OSI, NCIS, DOJ, ATF, USDI, USDA, DOC, HHS, DHS, USCG, FPS, CGPD, CBP, ICE, USSS, SPS,USCP, USPIS were also all put on the case. **

It appears that the USPIS (United States Postal Inspection Service) may have not been necessary however Senator Diane Feinstein insisted that it was not because her husband was well invested in post offices that the agency must play a role. It was because of “. . . her keen concern to protect every woman and child of this great land”.

As Senator Feinstein did not say, “That plane could have been easily packed up in a pre-postage-paid-priority-mail-express-package and shipped to the Russians for all we know!”

As a result over seventeen million dollars will be allocated to throughly inspect ALL the P.O.Boxes in every post office within the United States.

Representative Robert Fuckoff (R) Ohio demanded that for national security concerns he would pursue drafting a bill to create an inspection team to investigate all “general delivery” windows of every post office in the United States.

During an impromptu stop over at the employee’s break room at Postal Inspection, Inc. Rep. Fuckoff stated, “This twenty-seven million dollar allocation bill will ensure that inspections would be conducted on all “general delivery” locations. What better way is there to protect our citizens from terrorists who want to harm our home-land?” 

When the maimed-stream media asked about the rumor that his family was involved in Postal Inspection, Inc. Representative Fuckoff stated, “Those accusations have been made before!” 

……………………………………………

A Special Blue Ribbon Committee was appointed immediately if not sooner by the President to “investigate the disappearance of Air Force One and The Secretary Of The Inferior” and to report back to him. The President insisted that the Committee’s work would be totally transparent and would be held in secret for national security reasons.

The maimed-stream media didn’t pursue the definition of transparent assuming the President is a Constitutional Scholar and knew the definition better than they.

Congress announced that it will immediately take up the issue of funding the Special Blue Ribbon Committee as soon as they return from their inter-session break and before their fall break. This leaves “. . . a corridor of six full hours” stated Senator DipStick (D) from Louisiana. 

Conspiracy

First there were the sightings.

DairyQueed gang

(UPI) “They were ALL there”, said Jimmy Insano from DelRio, Texas. “Right out in front of the Dairy Queen! Elvis, bin Laden, Kennedy and the Secretary Of The Inferior!

“I didn’t see no plane or anything like that …… but I didn’t go in the Dairy Queen. Sure, it could have been in there.”

 The heat in DelRio at times reaches 135 degrees in the shade.

(The Sun, UK) “The chances of Air Force One being snatched from the sky by an alien space craft isn’t as far fetched as it may appear” says Jay Jay Johnson. “There have been sightings recently as far away as Denver”, he continued. “Space IS the final frontier, you know, and if and I’m saying IF, The Secretary Of The Inferior had been sent with a message to give to extraterrestrials, then why not?” Jay Jay Johnson concluded.

(New York Times) It was reported today that the Malaysian Government was asked by President Obama to assist in the tracking of the missing Air Force One. Critics say this new development has created perhaps a “hint” that the President isn’t sincere about finding the Secretary Of The Inferior.

President Obama’s new Press Secretary Josh Earnest, stated at todays news briefing that “. . . he was earnest that the President was earnest about the search for Air Force One as well as The Secretary Of The Inferior”.

This confused the White House Press Corp because they thought the President was not Earnest because Josh Earnest was Earnest. And Josh Earnest stated that he was earnest and the President was earnest as well. The White House Press Corp reiterated that Earnest was Earnest and Earnest was not Obama.

After forty-five minutes the Earnest – earnest conundrum was tabled until a later date.

(FOX News) Donald Rumsfeld was asked to comment on the incident and stated: “we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And he continued, “The missing Secretary Of The Inferior is the ultimate in unknown unknowns, if you ask me.”

And of course, Dick Cheney was asked for comments on this new international mystery but was unable to make it to the interview because he had “left his heart in San Francisco” and hadn’t noticed until his flight was over Wisconsin. Which at that point had to turn his flight back to the West Coast.

 

 

 

Mystery

 

 

 

footnotes:

* To catch up with The Secretary Of The Inferior refer back to: blog post, NEW EMPLOYMENT, NEW ECONOMY.

** Those are all investigating agencies of the United States Government. Tubularsock doesn’t have time to make that much shit up!

All photographs may look like they have been altered in some way. They have NOT! However they are a different angle from the original photo.

Photography is in the eye of the beholder.

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

 

 

 

 

Tube heading slingshot   how war are chosen   Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM

Tube heading-Ukraine

 

 

PROPAGANDA BY ANY OTHER NAME IS TRUTH

There is so much bullshit around this Ukraine mis-adventure that it is starting to make “regular crap” look good!

Now I was talking to a highly educated friend of mine just the other day and he was asking why is it that Tubularsock “likes” Putin and didn’t Tubularsock realize that Russia was posing a threat to the Ukraine by concentrating troops along its boarders?

Well Tubularsock wasn’t surprised by this limited view because he keeps up with current news by reading Newsweek and Time Magazines. And he believes he’s “informed”!

Well sure, the guy has a stressful job and limited time to “keep up” with the world. What with all the different countries doing different things EVERY day and all.

Why not get it ALL your news under one fast-third-grade-level-read-umbrella?

Now, far be it for Tubularsock to go off on Newsweek and Time Magazines except to say that Tubularsock wouldn’t use either even as toilet paper. In part because I think one or both are only on line now and not in physical form any longer which causes a logistical problem as toilet paper. And the other reason is then what would I do with the New York Times?

Oh my, Tubularsock does digress!

Now there seems to be a bit of a disagreement between John Kerry’s view of the Ukraine and what is happening and RT’s (Russia Today News) view of the Ukraine and what is happening. No surprise there!

John (you remember him, right …. Secretary of State) called RT a “propaganda bullhorn” and it was pushing Putin’s “fantasy”. My, my.

Well according to DIPNOTE the U.S. Department of State “Official Blog” posted by Richard Stengel : that Kerry’s remarks resulted in “. . . a predictable howl of protest from RT’s editor, who claimed the State Department knows little about what is really happening in Ukraine today and had the audacity to request an apology.”

Now Richard Stengel continued with, “I spent seven years as the managing editor of TIME magazine [now that’s clear] before joining the State Department. I understand the difference between news, propaganda and opinion. Propaganda is the deliberate dissemination of information that you know to be false or misleading in order to influence an audience.”

Well Richard seems, to Tubularsock, to be the one who is propagating “falsehoods” when it comes to the Ukraine and if Kerry doesn’t really know what RT is pointing out then he is truly an idiot!

Let Tubularsock just lead you through a few of the things RT has brought to the attention of the world and how Richard Stengel and John Kerry seem to be the ones who are “misleading” and attempting to twist the information.

Last week it was claimed by RT that the United States had “invested” $5 Billion in regime change in the Ukraine. Richard Stengel says that that is a “ludicrous assertion”.

Yet it was Assistant Secretary of State for European Affairs Victoria Nuland who told a business group on December 13, 2013 that “. . . we have invested more than $5 billion in what was needed for Ukraine to achieve its European aspirations.”

In addition remember the intercepted, phone call where Victoria Nuland said her choice was to replace Yanukovych was Arseniy Yatsenyuk. The call was to U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Geoffrey Pyatt. 

Arseniy Yatsenyuk ended up as Prime Minister after the coup. Which shows collusion by the United States with the U.S. and European banking interests. 

But not a word about that from Kerry or Stengel. They act like it was a natural “democratic” process. Like the CIA involvement in the process was akin to boys scouts helping a little old lady across the street. 

Nor does Kerry or Stengel take on the issue of the dominance of Neo-Nazis in the new created Ukrainian Government as exposed by RT.

Now in Eastern Ukraine there was the incident cited by Kerry at the Geneva Conference that had been called to reduce tensions in Ukraine. Kerry said that, “Just in the last couple of days, notices were sent to Jews in one city indicating that they had to identify themselves as Jews. And obviously, the accompanying threat implied is – or threatened – or suffer the consequences, one way or the other.”

But a few day before Kerry’s speech that bit of information had been found to be the work of pro-coup operators NOT the pro-Russian Ukraine supporters.

Yet Kerry sited the information any way as if it were true. And he has the nerve to call RT a “propaganda bullhorn”?

It appears that what RT exposes The State Department just doesn’t discuss and thereby claims that it is RT that is doing the PROPAGANDA!

There is also the total lack of any discussion in the maimed-stream-media in the U.S. of the breaking of the deal made with Russia that NATO would not push for an eastward expansion which is why Ukraine has been overthrown by the U.S. and NATO backed cronies. It is NATO and the U.S. that has broken the agreed understanding with Russia not some aggressive move by the Russians!

The Russian move is a response. They, in this case, are not the aggressor!

Well the beat goes on. And the “free press” in the U.S. are so busy licking the asses of the government just like they did over Iraq that they have become again the government’s mouth piece.

Few in the maimed-stream-media do any investigation of ANYTHING with the exception of the detailed pictures of Kim Kardashian’s last bikini photo shoot!

Where RT, Al-Jazeera and CCTV (the new English-language programming set up by China) all give a more honest view of the Ukrainian mess than any press in the U.S.

Now this isn’t to say that one doesn’t have to be awake to bias from these news organization. But, if you try to broaden your news reading you will be able to find a broader world view than just “American Exceptionalism”. 

It was just a couple of years ago that Hillary Clinton was saying that the U.S. was “. . . “losing the information war”. And just couldn’t figure out why.

Well, let Tubularsock let you in on a little secret that he has discovered and that is that more and more of the American people are just sick and tired of “. . . the U.S. corporate media’s regurgitation of the manifold and manifestly deceitful justifications for U.S. actions abroad” as Ray McGovern (former CIA intelligence – Soviet Foreign Policy Branch) so clearly stated.

As for Tubularsock siding with Putin. Not so but I do like his coat!

Tube&Vlad

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM