Archive for the ‘MELANIA TRUMP’ Category

TRUMP: THE TURKEY REFLECTION

 

Now tell Tubularsock, just what in the fuck is the President of the United States of America taking the time to “PARDON A TURKEY”?

Well, it makes perfect sense.

It is a perfect extension of American policy. What we do in reality is ALWAYS the opposite of what we say we are doing! Get it yet?

We support the concept of Democracy for the People of the world by supporting, arming, training any dictatorial regime that will support U.S. imperialism. EVEN IF WE have to overthrow a democratically elected government voted in by the people if it doesn’t conform to American hegemony!

Our national leader pardon’s ONE Turkey and then we as a nation go out and have 46 million turkeys slaughtered to eat on one day EVERY YEAR!

Eighty-eight per cent of American families surveyed by the National Turkey Federation eat turkey at Thanksgiving.

 

Which bring us right to the National Turkey Federation. Tubularsock bets you never knew we had one, now did you?

Yep, we sure do and it is an international non-profit organization whose mission is ‘the conservation of the wild turkey and the preservation of our hunting heritage” to kill wild turkeys. Wow, another loyal corporate lobbying group pushing ahead for managing the kill.

Pretty much like Boeing, Lockheed Martin and BAE Systems for people killing. Sautéed in a French wine sauce and it almost brings our taste buds back to our colonial past.

JUST LIKE THANKSGIVING!

But you really have to ponder, just a little bit, don’t let it get in the way of the leftovers ad nauseam.

Just how culturally programed are we? FUCKING, LIKE TOTALITY!

Here is how, and it will show you that most people BELIEVE ANYTHING if it is packaged right and repeated long enough. (WOULD YOU like to name a president that hasn’t used that technique?)

National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation is a ceremony that takes place at the White House every year shortly before Thanksgiving. It dates back to the 1940’s as a lobbying technique to promote turkey sales. For a while it was a joint lobbying and marketing tool for the egg and poultry industry as well but that ended and the turkey trot won out.

It wasn’t until 1989 that the concept of “pardon” took hold and caught on to this day. Interesting that the CIA President Daddy Bush was the President to start that tradition.

But still what is lost in this entire scam is the only “tradition” in any of this is turkey sales!

Capitalism at its best ……. NO MEANING, JUST MONEY!

An important moral side note for those that have any morality left in this society:

Benjamin Franklin, who proposed the turkey as the official United States’ bird, was dismayed when the bald eagle was chosen over the turkey.

“Franklin wrote to his daughter, referring to the eagle’s “bad moral character,” saying, “I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country!

The turkey is a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America.”

Just goes to show you that the birds you hang with corrupt your vision. Tubularsock believes your mother told you the same thing about your friends. Right?

 

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THE DEAD CAN DANCE MIDTERMS

Now here is a happy election note for one to play on their Horny-Trumpet!

It appears that Dennis Hof, the Trump-Ass-Hole-Like brothel owner, a true total PIG of a man, won his Nevada’s 36th Assembly District by a LANDSLIDE victory.

And it really shows the depth of intelligence of the Republicans in Nevada’s 36th Assembly District because HE’S DEAD!

Yep, Dennis died three weeks BEFORE the election after his celebrating his 72nd birthday by OVER partying.

But even though he was dead the Republicans in the district voted to have him represent them by 63% of the vote.

Maybe because they are DUMB or maybe because they had voted overwhelmingly for another loser a couple of years back, Donnie Trump.

But there is an argument to be made that the Republican’s in the 36th Assembly District voted for the dead Hof in order not to flip the seat to the Democrats. Which may be a possibility. And this could hold water for Tubularsock except Tubularsock has been in this part of Nevada and brilliance is not a strong suit!

But Tubularsock will give them this; that in the 36th Assembly District they would have been better off electing a rattle snake rather than a gross dead pig!

 

Now both Dennis and Donnie had a lot in common.

First they BOTH are 72. Hmmm. Maybe that’s a sign.

And second, Dennis wrote a book, “The Art of the Pimp” (Tubularsock is not kidding here) based on Donnie’s “The Art of the Deal”.

Damn they are like brothers! Both FAT, STUPID, and INTELLECTUALLY VOID!

But why should those qualities stand in the way of a Republican?

You see Republicans in this election went ahead and voted in two other Republican candidates that have current Indictments against them.

Rep. Duncan Hunter (R), 50th District of California with a 60-count indictment on felony charges of wire fraud and campaign finance violations.

Rep. Chris Collins (R), 27th District of New York with an indictment on federal insider trading charges.

But hey, crooks have to make a living too! Why not have them represent you in government with their friends.

Once people get an eye opening event with the Trump tax returns …….. will any of the Republicans even take note?

Ok maybe a C-note. It’s par for the Republican mind set.

Now don’t get Tubularsock wrong here. All this is not to say that the Republicans are the only ones that have dirty laundry.

The Clinton’s are right up there with the Republican criminal element for sure. They all belong to the same social circles and private clubs and even play golf together at times.

And no surprise, the people that AREN’T in those circles are YOU and your friends!

BUT IT’S YOU that pays the price …….. do you get that, yet?

 

So now we have the dead being elected and the voters with their addresses listed as the local cemetery must be voting for their own kind.

So all this “voter fraud” being bantered around is really only sour grapes because the dead representatives are just being elected by the cemetery crowd and thereby just being supportive of their base!

Ahhhh ………. all’s good with democracy!

 

BEHOLD THE VIRGIN KAVANAUGH!

 

Oh saints be praised, HE HAS RISEN!

Or rather ………. Maybe Brett just couldn’t GET IT UP unless he was blind drunk and obnoxious.

Well how can we tell, America?

EASY!

Now let’s not get all carried away with all these accusations and look at Brett full frontal!

Do you remember when your mother told you that you should be careful of the friends you hang out with?

They could put you in a bad light or influence you in an adverse way. REMEMBER?

Well if you have attacked a woman and attempted to rape her and then allowed your integrity to be defended by a man KNOWN FOR GRABBING PUSSY, well what type of character witness is THAT to be defending you?

And then your second accuser says that YOU, Brett Kavanaugh, shoved your penis in her face.

And President PUSSY GRABER’S response: “Oh gee, let’s not make him a Supreme Court justice because of this?”

Now you see how correct your mother was, Brett.

But it really isn’t about President Shit For Brains, now is it.

It is about YOU, Brett.

 

All that business about being a virgin with a deep respect for women is a very, very, VERY weak defense. In fact, that is more of a reason for you to get blind drunk and act out and maybe why you lost control! Virgin Vengeance, perhaps.

Brett’s former roommate reports that Brett Kavanaugh spent his time at drunken parties and ran with a hard-drinking crowd. This pattern followed him from his high school days into college according to the facts that have been uncovered.

And because Brett Kavanaugh was so weak in moral character that when he Clerked for Judge Alex Kozinski he never noticed Kozinski’s pornographic tendencies and his sexual harassment tendencies which led to 15 women’s complaints that forced him into retirement. As Other clerks have called that culture, which ultimately forced Kozinski’s resignation, an open secret.

Kavanaugh clerked for Kozinski in 1991, they sat on panels together, and co-authored a book together and even helped Kozinski vet law clerks for Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.

And somehow with this close relationship Kavanaugh missed that Kozinski was a total creep?

Maybe Brett was just too busy masturbating his virgin-Catholic-dick to notice Kozinski antics. You know how Tort Cases turns one on!

And when asked by Senator Chris Coons about Kozinski’s inappropriate behavior, including his circulations of sexually explicit emails via his “Easy Rider Gag List”, Kavanaugh’s written and oral responses were vague, and skirted the senator’s direct inquiry.

As Elie Mystal wrote in her article in Above The Law,  “Who knows what kinds of sexual harassment issues Kavanaugh will have the opportunity to decide on over the next 30 years or so, whether the man can even recognize sexual harassment WHEN HE SEES IT is relevant.”

And now today a third woman has come out with more accusations for Brett to deny.

Julie Swetnick claims that, Kavanaugh and his best friend Mark Judge, who by the way has come out previously in defense of Kavanaugh, “. . . would attempt to ‘spike’ the ‘punch’ at house parties I attended with drugs and/or grain alcohol so as to cause girls to lose their inhibitions and their ability to say ‘No.”

Julie Swetnick further claims that Kavanaugh and Judge were present at a party where she had been “gang raped” by others but not by Brett and Mark. (as far as she knows)

But hell, Brett has come out in full denial of all the accusations and has put on his choirboy virginity stance and said,

“This is ridiculous and from the Twilight Zone. I don’t know who this is and this never happened.”

Have you noticed that Brett Kavanaugh is using the exact same tactic that the Grab-Your-Pussy-In-Chief uses.

No matter HOW OUTRAGEOUS the accusations are against them the answer is ALWAYS the same:

THIS NEVER HAPPENED! THIS NEVER HAPPENED! THIS NEVER HAPPENED!

And then they keep repeating it EVEN when all the evidence shows they are lying!

These two guys DO LIVE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

But if you took the time to listen to Kavanaugh’s answers given to the Senate Judiciary Committee you would have realized just how often he evaded questions which to an intelligent person would surely inspire doubts about his truthfulness before the misconduct allegations surfaced.

But it is not about integrity or intelligence or even character that the Republican’ts care about. It is about pushing their agenda ……… nothing more.

Get him in there before the midterm election no matter what! Not good governance if you ask Tubularsock but it is the way the system works and it is the major reason why it doesn’t!

 

 

 

 

JEFF SESSIONS, GOAT FUCKER?

 

It has been many years now that Tubularsock was wandering Europe. But all of this Naziesque crap being directed by OrangeTurd and his trusty companion BibleThumper Jeff has brought back a long forgotten conversation.

Tubularsock was driving through Germany with a trusted friend. We were taking the “slow” way through the German hinterland and was driving through the Black Forest area with no real destination in mind.

The evergreen forests and picturesque villages were right out of a “living” traveler guidebook. An amazing area of Germany to visit especially if you are a meandering traveler.

It was there, sitting in the car at a pullout that our conversation began. If we had been German citizens during the rise of Hitler and if we had been living in this area of German, just how knowledgeable would we have been about Auschwitz in Poland and what was happening in Germany at large as well?

As the hate and fear was propagated that “others” were not worthy of our concern just how shutdown to this oncoming evil would we have grokked?

Tubularsock has many German friends that have stated that their parent’s generation, after the war, would NOT EVEN discuss this subject or explain how they had been duped by Hitler and his hate filled belief system. The shame was too great and they didn’t want to explain their role of even being citizens in that mess.

Jump to Jeff Session interpreting the Bible, Romans 13 suggesting that God supports the government in separating immigrant parents from their children.

 

And it looks to Tubularsock that Jeff has as much knowledge as Tubularsock has about Biblical interpretation when Tubularsock interprets Isaiah 11:6 “. . . the leopard will lie down with the goat . . .” to mean that Jeff Sessions fucks goats!

Now, Tubularsock may not be the best Biblical scholar, however, it just goes to show you that Jeff too is rather selective at cherry picking passages of the Bible for his own political purposes. Shame on you Jeff, you old goat fucker!

 

And then we have Plastic Melania in her “I Don’t Care, Do U” coat going off to see the children in jail to bestow her “motherly love” with her magic wand.

Leaving Barron home alone with his unstable Orange-“father”.

Poor, Poor Barron, assumed to have been born from a turkey baster impregnation so Plastic Mom didn’t have to have that gross Fat-Orange-Body thrusting and panting attempting to get a hard on to do the job.

 

FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!

 

Wow, speaking of child molestation! Can you imagine having to be trapped in a “family” with Donald Jr., Ivanka, and Eric!

Tiffany is not so bad.

But leave it to Peter Fonda to hit the nail on the head with his tweet calling for Barron to be “. . . ripped from his mother’s arms and put in a cage with pedophiles.”

Of course, Peter apologized later saying he had been upset over Trump’s Policy and he had “. . . tweeted something highly inappropriate and vulgar about the president and his family in response to the devastating images I was seeing on television.”

OH CONTRAIR!

The pedophile part WAS a little bit over the top but at least the cage would help protect Barron from Plastic-mom, Orange-dad, and the evil Munchkins!

But unlike the children stolen from their parents at the border Plastic-mom had the U.S. Secret Service notified. Some kids warrant special attention.

 

FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!, FREE BARRON!

 

So Plastic-I-Don’t-Care wanted to see for herself what was happening to the imprisoned children of Latin American descent so, if you can believe this, she was sent to a facility opened to the first lady which was, of course, selected keeping in mind the press would be accompanying her.

“Other such facilities around the country have denied access to Democratic lawmakers and media”.

You know, like any good DEMOCRATIC society would do. Prevent Congress from representing the people they are supposed to represent and be the eyes of the people. Republicans are prevented as well. You know, to keep it fair.

Well, it sure fooled Plastic I-Don’t-Care!

Tubularsock is sure that everyone was on best behavior for the Plastic-Lady! She thanked everyone for a job well done and then got into her jet and flew back to Washington, D.C.

She left with her parting words that the U.S. should “govern with heart”!

And Tubularsock agrees and just maybe it has come time to pull that used heart of Dick Cheney and plant it into Donald. That heart never seemed to work for Cheney anyway.

The Nazi mind set is running again and the American public can be awakened to the possible further destruction of what is left of American Values which weren’t that strong to begin with or we can watch the edges of the toilet bowl as we all swirl down into the depth of the Black Forest never to be seen again.

 

It actually is up to US!

Trump has embarrassed the United States of America in the World and as his Scottish-born mother’s relatives have stated: “His Mother had been acutely embarrassed by the antics of her fourth child during the 1990s when his failing marriage and business were the subject of intense tabloid scrutiny.

Mary Trump died in 2000, but if his mother was upset with his crap in the 1990’s she must be turning over in her grave NOW!

And as for dear daddy, Fred C. Trump with his German ancestry as a nap-sack was arrested at a Ku Klux Klan riot in New York in 1927, records reveal. He died in 1999.

 

Need Tubularsock say more? The racist apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree, now has it!

 

 

PRESIDENT DENNISON

 

Tubularsock is sitting at his desk in Tubularsock’s top floor corner office in the Underground Bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA (see BUNKER TOUR for background) and Tubularsock is in overwhelm.

Just how much information-shit can one person fill up with before an explosion takes place spreading information-shit all over the place?

You want school shootings? You’ve got school shootings.

You want white people bombings? You’ve got white people bombings.

You want the LAST white rhino dying? You’ve got the LAST white rhino dying.

Yeah, it is all happening and one could take comfort that solid leadership would at least set one’s mind at ease.

 And that is where PRESIDENT DENNISON comes into play.

You see traditionally there was an idea that the leader whether it was the local chief or the Grand Wizard or even a President or Prime Minister could “set the tone” for the society and create calm because someone was in charge.

But like Tubularsock said, that was a “traditional idea”. In truth it was untrue in the past and is still untrue. The difference today is most people know we are FUCKING IN TROUBLE!

There is NO ONE at the rudder and what’s more, it is now realized more and more by the masses that there is NO SHIP OF STATE for the rudder to direct a direction!

And even more frightening, there is no LEADERSHIP even to deceive all of us that there is a possibility for change. (Visualize a rubber raft headed toward Niagara Falls and the ONLY hope is that global warming will dry out the river before we get to the Fall’s edge.)

 

                                                                                                                                                              

L/R Stormy Daniels, Tubularsock, Asa Akira, Jessica Drake

                                            

 And that is where PRESIDENT DENNISON comes into play.

Do you recall as a child you had “imaginary friends”? Well this is not uncommon for many children. Sometimes more than one.

As one grows into adulthood those “imaginary friends” are incorporated into your regular mental chatter and are consumed so as in most cases forgotten.

BUT President Dennison has THREE “imaginary friends”.

His first one was John Barron. Back in the 1980s Barron would be introduced as a spokesperson for Trump. (In 2006, Trump named his youngest son Barron.)

This “spokesperson” would explain Trump’s actions to the press. (He was never seen, only heard by telephone and he sounded very much like Trump.)

And then in 1991 John Miller who was introduced as a “publicist” for Trump was brought in to explain to the press about the end of Trump’s marriage to Ivana and his rumored association with other women.

John Miller, as well, conducted his interviews over the phone and was never seen but, the funny thing was, he too sounded very much like Trump.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            

And that is where PRESIDENT DENNISON comes into play.

David Dennison IS Donald Trump ……. or could it be the other way around?

You see, it was David Dennison(aka Donald Trump aka John Barron aka John Miller) who was supposed to sign the 2016 non-disclosure agreement with Peggy Peterson(aka Stephanie Clifford aka Stormy Daniels) regarding her allegation that the two of them had an extramarital affair in 2006.

However David Dennison(aka Donald Trump aka John Barron aka John Miller) never signed the agreement! Which should make the agreement null and void. The verdict is still out.

 

So will the REAL DONALD TRUMP PLEASE STAND UP.

You can see why the Italian and Russian mafia gets along with this guy. With that many aliases he’s got to be a crook!

So President David Dennison (aka Donald Trump aka John Barron aka John Miller) has “imaginary friends” and just think of the savings to the United States. Four guys for the price of one.

And THAT IS WHY President Dennison changes his mind mid-sentence. He’s really FOUR and thus why golf is so natural FOUR him!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

Learning,  you have to do on your own!

 

PRESENT AT THE CREATION

Tubularsock was sitting in his Corner Office In His Underground Bunker Overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. (see BUNKER TOUR for background) and pondering the absurd world we find ourselves.

But hey, what in the fuck would you expect if in each last election you had to vote for the “lessor of the two evils”!

 

 

It is just logical that in time you’d have to reach the bottom of the barrel, RIGHT?

And the real scary thing is that Orange Fuck and his deranged offspring and his third plastic wife may not be at the bottom.

Think about it! Makes WW3 look better already, doesn’t it!

 

 

So is there a way out?

So kick back and think of your options.

Sure Tubularsock has some options to suggest.

And remember these are only for fun, not real change.

 

 

First: We grab Pussy-Whipped-Session’s and give him a marijuana suppository to loosen up his dysfunctional brain and bring him into the 21st century!

Second: We remove the Christian Cross turned sideways from Pence’s ass to relieve the pressure on his brain as he waits for the second coming.

And Third ……. oh hell you come up with one! After all isn’t that what democracy is all about?