Guantanamo Gone! …….. THE STORY

Now Tubularsock has come up with another brilliant idea but I’m not going to tell anyone until I can secure a government contract to carry it out.

Ok. I can hear you right now saying aloud …….. “How could you, Tubularsock, acquire a government contract?”

My-my, such little faith ……….

Now even at the risk of making Obummer look good, here’s the plan.

Side note: Some parts of this plan have been redacted in order to protect the identity of the agents who are risking their lives for our nation.

In order to close Guantanamo we establish a top secret project called EEE-RACE.

It will be run by the CIA but will be subcontracted to a little known private corporation known only as Xsock,Ltd. (clever, yes?)

And here is how it will work.

First: Xsock,Ltd. will order 254 black plastic bags and a 107 rolls of standard duct-tape.

In order to hide any attention to these purchases agents will purchase these materials over a period of six months at different hardware stores in different locations throughout the nation.

redacted 1

Third: The current detainees will be bound and gagged and a black plastic bag will be placed over their heads (in a very respectful way) and duct-taped in place.

Side note: These activities are so familiar that the detainees won’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

Four: The detainees will be placed into air cargo planes with loud Grateful Dead tunes being played in order not to alert the detainees that things are changing for them.

Five: Each and every detainees will be dropped off exactly at the location where they were kidnapped with a new passport and an envelope with $50,000.00 in cash.

Side note: This process will be known in the secret files of the CIA as REVERSE-RENDITION  or R-R for you acronym types.

redacted 2

and ship it to China to join all the Trade Tower debris that Rudy Giuliani so quickly removed.

redacted 3




The United States Government will deny the Guantanamo Bay “Detention” Camp ever existed. Just another concoction of conspiracy theorists.

The United States Congress will convene a Select-Committee to investigate the situation. They will fly to the Bahamas for a six week FACT-FINDING-TOUR only to discover that Guantanamo is in Cuba.

Side note: You know how all islands look alike.

Obummer will hold a press conference in the Rose Garden and tell the main stream media that when he promised to close Guantanamo he had meant the military base NOT the “Detention” Camp that never existed.

The main stream media for their part will copy down verbatim what Obummer

said and then ask the obligatory question about Michelle’s Jay Crew dress.

Ahhh, all’s quiet on the Western Front.

redacted 4






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  1. Dearing says:

    Tube – ’tis a splendid plan, indeed.
    I have spoken with O’bomber and he intends to repent for all his screw ups, cover ups and shut ups. If you can pull this one off, he says he will throw in the Congressional Medal of Honor – so your children will all get to go to West Point or the Air Force Academy! See, finally you will be recognized as the true patriot that you are.


    • tubularsock says:

      Splendid,Dearing! What the military industrial complex needs is “Littles Tubes” that know how to blow whistles. The plan has been advanced. I bought the first roll of duct tape just this morning.
      Watch for the shift at Guantanamo. You’ll recognize the changes! Thanks for your comment.


  2. Jeff Nguyen says:

    “The United States Congress will convene a Select-Committee to investigate the situation. They will fly to the Bahamas for a six week FACT-FINDING-TOUR only to discover that Guantanamo is in Cuba”…but Americans aren’t allowed to travel to Cuba so the Committee might as well enjoy themselves, since they’re already in the Bahamas. They work hard for our money.

    The sad part is they may be safer there then back on the streets where they’re fair game for a Predator drone with a DOJ white paper attached to a Hellfire missile doubling down on them. Brilliant plan, by the way.


    • tubularsock says:

      OMG, Jeff! You are so correct. How could Tubularsock forget that Cuba is a terrorist state. We have to do whatever is necessary to protect ourselves from the dangers of those Cubans! And we both know that a Congressman wouldn’t break the law.

      Now there you go again droning on and on about those drones. The Homeland must stay safe.

      And thanks for taking the time to comment. Glad you liked my plan.


  3. ThePoliticalVagina says:

    Nice one centurion!


  4. ThePoliticalVagina says:

    Hm not sure….because I always am (kind), it gets me into trouble all the time.


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