Posted: October 23, 2015 in 2016 Presidential Election

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If you had a huge apple tree and the entire “crop” on that tree was dead or at best was withering to death and you were told that YOU had the opportunity to choose the best apple on that tree, what do you do?

Add to that you were told that this was one of your most prized RESPONSIBILITIES. And it was constantly repeated to you that it is YOU that makes the choice FREELY. And the FREELY was all covered with red, white, and blue.

What do you do?

Well right away you might THINK, “I’ll find a better tree”. But you are TOLD you can’t! Because this is the BEST tree.

So you might THINK, “I’ll find a better orchard.” But you are TOLD you can’t! And if you THINK on this idea too much you’ll be suspect.

Then you THINK, “I’ll cut down this tree and plant a new one.” But you are TOLD that you are under arrest for EVEN THINKING THAT!

Well needless to say you grab your ladder and go off to pick the “BEST DEAD OR AT BEST WITHERING TO DEATH APPLE from the tree.

But when all is done the PIE turns out to be not worth shit and funny thing is that it actually looks, smells, and tastes just like the last one.

And you don’t get a very big slice anyway. So you go back to your TV and watch how some big basketball star who has a much bigger slice of the pie than you’ll EVER have and has a beautiful wife and a huge house and big car and is UNHAPPY to the point of sucking down VIAGRA and booze in a whorehouse.

Oh, America …….. Land of the Free?


  1. swo8 says:

    I don’t believe that that is the only tree to find your apple.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sojourner says:

    I choose to just eat grapes, or any other fruit that does not cost me my life and freedom, as well as the lives and freedom of others all around the world! Fuck the apples and the fucking, putrid tree they grow on! Fuck this every-four-year “choice”, this every-four-year farce, that is no choice at all!

    If all of us had this kind of anarchist attitude, the apple tree would either wither and die or we would collectively destroy it from the roots up, so those withered, dead and USELESS TO US apples, and their DISGUSTING SEEDS, no longer existed!

    Okay! All together now: “God, make Putin nuke Merica, land I despise!”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. sojourner says:


    I’m such a not-so-little devil, ain’t I!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lara/Trace says:

    Somewhere in cyberland is news about voting machines that don’t work right (sigh)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. onnovocks says:

    I’m sure Tubularsock meant Land of the Tree! Apple cider anyone?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Time to set fire to the orchard, I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. onnovocks says:

    Love your posts, I’ll bring the cider AND the Vodka! Greetings.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. wolfess says:

    I don’t like apples anyway! So there!

    I’m with you — let’s guillotine that goddamned apple tree and then I’ll share my pears and tomatoes with you!! 😉 Ooh-ooh, let’s plant a peach tree b/c they’re sooooo much better than apples, unless you have caramel to dip the apples in; but peaches just have 40 calories and they don’t need all that caramel to taste good!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Genie says:

    You are mean, demanding apples, what has possessed you?
    I think that book on spooky geometry that you wrote, might have <em<spooked you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Genie says:

      I meant demeaning! See, your spooky geometry has me not paying attention to the iSlave’s spelling error antics!

      Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      A sassy saucy “demanding” apple being “demeaned” isn’t Tubularsock’s problem. It does not make Tubularsock “mean”. And the near famous book Tubularsock wrote, Spooky Geometry clearly states in chapter 3007 paragraph 1500 that “Only a peach can become a peach pie”.

      Genie, you may not have gotten to that chapter yet. You know, after all that struggle attempting to receive a signed autographed copy for free. But Tubularsock urges you to do so.

      It may also be beneficial Genie for you to read the chapter on the square-root of rutabagas.

      Thanks for your comment and for realizing that Spooky Geometry is the best excuse for all people’s errors.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Michael Fuhrig says:

    Are you trying to say (in your own inimitable way) that our political candidates are a bunch of rotten apples? That’s food for thought. Spoiled food I might add.

    Liked by 1 person

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