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Now Tubularsock was sittin’ on his big fat ……. ahhh, Gothic office chair in his top floor corner office in his underground bunker over looking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA when he turned his attention to SCIENCE.

Yes, it is true that at the time Tubularsock was nestled in his lab coat and yes it is white, standing for purity of thought. Because Tubularsock was thinking SCIENCE!

Now, is Political Science truly SCIENCE or is it “pseudoscience”?

Are political polls REAL Science?

And if they are real science why don’t REAL SCIENTISTS with white lab coats do the polls?

Well Political Science is part of the Social Sciences and is considered a “soft” science, meaning it revolves more around subjective interpretations than hard data. Yet, within the study of Political Sciences there are people that call themselves experts in statistical methodology. And it also allows the “soft-scientists” to wear plaid rather than white, a little known fact!

Political science is both a social science and a humanities field. Social sciences analyze and evaluate human behavior, with an emphasis on empirical research. Humanities, in contrast, study human culture and are primarily critical or speculative in nature. Students of political science learn theoretical tools to help make sense of political behavior and analytical skills to help investigate and understand political choices and their consequences.

Political science is methodologically diverse. For example, psephology, game theory, political psychology, and model building are all part of the methods used and because the Political Scientist’s work is based on, concerned with, or verifiable by observation or experience rather than theory or pure logic: they provided considerable empirical evidence to support their arguments.

Which leads Tubularsock to THE ONLY Political Science method that Tubularsock can truly rely upon ……….. RUMPOLOGY!

Butt, what is it,  you ask ……….

It just happens to be the most accurate, prosaic and precise method known.

Rumpology was practiced by the Babylonians, the Indians (from India), the Ancient Greeks and Romans. Well, there is actually no evidence of this except from the proclamations of Jackie Stallone, the American astrologer. But Tubularsock really trusts Rumpology for evaluating political leaders.

AS PROOF Jackie has predicted the outcome of Presidential elections and Oscars by reading the “bottoms” of her two pet Doberman Pinschers. Now tell Tubularsock just how perfect is THAT?

Tubularsock does know what you are thinking right about now but for those that have eyes to see you’ll follow ………

Even if you don’t have eyes to see Rumpology works. At least says Ulf Beck, the blind German clairvoyant. “Ulf claims he can read people’s futures by feeling their naked buttocks!” (Wikipedia) Sure he can …….

Tubularsock realizes at this point that you may think that Ulf is putting this stuff out on the HOT DATES dating service on the web but no …….. he’s clairvoyant!

So enough already!

Rumpology is the practice of “reading” one’s “posterior characteristics”. This can be done by the “hands-on method”, by email using digital photographs or by plaster buttock prints.

And from this information the Rumpologist can: reveal a person’s past and future, diagnose one’s personality, and detect one’s charismatic potential.

In fact Jackie states that, “The crack of your behind corresponds to the division of the two hemispheres of the brain”. So hells-bells, what more does Tubularsock have to say?

Well, Tubularsock figures if we could get the “Butt Prints” from the candidates running for President of the United States and run the “numbers” we could just pick the best candidate and that would be that.


Tubularsock realizes that it is a radical idea butt hey, THAT IS WHAT TUBULARSOCK IS ALL ABOUT!

Oh, by the way ……. Jackie is Sylvester Stallone’s mother. And DrB, she never dated Henry Kissinger!

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  1. Lou says:

    And I’ll bet ya her husband is a phrenologist. They compliment each other.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. donzo442 says:

    Ergo, humanitarian rumpology would be the study of hypocrisy at war?

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Hariod Brawn says:

    This is a load of pollocks.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. sojourner says:

    And…. they’re off and running!

    Horse’s asses? I resent the fact that you have insulted horses in this manner, sir! You have made horses the BUTT of your humor!

    And what a pile of shit, and I do mean pile of shit!

    Butt I beg to differ!

    Observe one arse (butt), and you’ve observed them all!

    “She blinded me with political science?”

    “Good heavens, Ms Stallone, you’re beautiful?”

    I know my comment will make me the BUTT of the jokes here! Butt, I cannot help myself, my BUTT lumps hurt!

    Liked by 4 people

  5. swo8 says:

    Tubuarsock, does that make you a Rumpophile or a Rumpophobe?

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Tubularsock, Butt prints? Please, do not give these (oops, I can’t call them ‘assholes’, we’re being scientific today, so … let’s say these earnest anal sphincters, is that better?) any ideas! Then again, it might actually elevate the overall tone of our current political discourse. With your own exemplary campaign excepted, naturally. Maybe all the candidates could wear thongs for the debates? Our media is always most conscientious about exploring … all points of view … and it would allow for more interesting camera angles. Or not. Sigh. – Linda

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I can’t imagine why the mainstream media continues to lend credibility to public opinion polls. Traditional opinion polls are based on randomly ringing landline numbers of registered voters. This strategy leaves out nearly half of US households which don’t have landlines but are cellphone only. Because there is no official directory of cellphone numbers, there is no possible way to ring registered voters who only have a cellphone. Because these households are typically young people under 35, poor people and minorities, they are routinely omitted from political polls.

    Also it saddens me to see you demean horseshit in this way. Here in Taranaki, we pay a pretty penny for quality horseshit, which is one of the absolute best manures due to its high fiber content.

    Liked by 4 people

    • tubularsock says:

      It sometimes is a harsh reality in these times when even horse shit references brush up against the “politically-correct”. It’s just a risk Tubularsock has to take.

      Tubularsock would rather have weak, worthless polls than have a cellphone directory.

      Thanks DrB for your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Okay, I know, enough already! But … I just happened to see there’s a really important anniversary coming up … serendipity? … coincidence? …. or a good excuse to party?

    Liked by 2 people

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