I want you…me too

 

This is a paid political announcement and does not reflect the editorial position or implied endorsement of any political candidate even if TUBULARSOCK is by far the best and most qualified candidate running for President of the United States of America in 2016.

The following is a paid political message:

 

GET REAL

 

Jeb Bush announced he will be running for President. Like you were surprised. And Hillary, well we know.

So let’s talk about qualifications ………. Tubularsock got up this morning and tied his own shoes.

 

 

sigtube

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Comments
  1. Jeff Nguyen says:

    My worst nightmare realized…one of them, at least.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. tubularsock says:

    Now there’s some truth!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sojourner says:

    Wow! That’s it, you’re going to the top!

    I couldn’t tie my shoes until I was sixty, and I still have to use a manual!

    I expected this post to be about the “bloviating nincompoop”, Donald Trump, since he slimed his way to the podium yesterday, and announced his candidacy.

    With this kind of competition, you are a sure thing! But you better start cozying up to the real voters, the elite-swine, or have you already?

    Liked by 3 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Well sojourner, Trump is a lost cause because he just can’t compete with Tubularsock’s hair! And Tubularsock is working on the elite-swine. Come on, with Tubularsock’s charm you don’t think he hasn’t gotten the slick oil money from Texas in his hip pocket? Tubularsock is going to the top and his elevated shoe heels will help. Thanks for your comment.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. swo8 says:

    If you can tie your own shoes then you are doing more than those guys can. You have my vote for sure.
    Leslie

    Liked by 3 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Thanks swo8. Tubularsock is the only running candidate that lifted himself up with his own shoe strings to the top rungs of the American political ladder. It is only a small matter of some votes that will be necessary. Your vote will toss Tubularsock over into the winner’s circle. Thanks.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Johnny Ojanpera says:

    What a relief! I was on the verge of relinquishing my voting powers -again. You bring hope to a hopeless State, Tubularsock.

    Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Johnny, welcome to Tubularsock.
      Tubularsock is so happy that he has saved you from throwing away your vote. As Tubularsock stands at the pinnacle of holding the highest office in this land my entire desire is to bring hope to the hopeless. But never fear Tubularsock will stand firm against THEIR political corruption and replace with a new, fresh approach to political corruption. Rest assured that the White House, under Tubularsock’s control will become the symbol of “me casa, su casa”!

      Like

  6. Now Tubularsock, you know that I would check your name on the ballot if’n I could but the problem is see? I am a registered voter in Virginia and when I left, I never did update my voting status to the state in which I now live for the extremely GOOD reason that I don’t want all those political ads flying left and right to my door. So, if it looks like the election would be so damn close that ONE vote would make the difference in whether you get elected or Jughead Bush or Hillghazi Clinton or heaven forbid, Donald ‘is that a rug on your head’ Trump, well now, I’d just have to mosey on down to ole Virginie and attempt to use an out-of-state ID to vote, whereupon this would not be allowed and I would, of course, get to cussing and carrying on something awful once I landed in Arlington County, VA where upon they’d fine me $250 per profanity-laced tirade and I could end up owing at the very least $300 million dollars and of course, get thrown in the clink for not being able to pay up.

    So, do you want me to risk it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • wolfess says:

      Never fear Shelby — Chaco, Frodo, Persephone, Musket, Dulcinea and I will be more than happy to vote for Tube in your stead; and yes, those ARE my five children and while Chaco might not be old enough to vote, what she lacks in age she makes up for in S-I-Z-E!!!!!! 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      • Thank you Wolfess! What a load off my mind and my empty ass pocketbook. I can now rest assured that Tubularsock will not miss a beat, uh…I mean, a vote, not even mine since you have so willingly come forward and announced that your children, along with you, got Tubularsock’s back!

        Tubularsock is most definitely a shoe-in now! Thank you much Wolfess!

        Liked by 2 people

      • wolfess says:

        No need to thank me kind lady, it’s only what any good, upstanding ‘christian’ would do! 😉 After all, sardines are much too abhorrent to risk letting her royal clinton anywhere NEAR the WH!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. tubularsock says:

    Shelby, there comes a time in every revolutionary life cycle where one has to take a stand and vote in Ol’ Virginie AND in each of the other 49 states of these United States. Tubularsock knows the cab fare on election day will be substantial but remember IT’S FOR YOUR COUNTRY!

    And if you would like to have a copy of each of the State’s cemetery voting list Tubularsock would be glad to send them to you. You could be very helpful in Tubularsock’s voting campaign known as,
    GET THE DEAD OUT FOR TUBULARSOCK.

    Thank you, Shelby. Tubularsock knows he can count on you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Tubularsock! You are a veritable well of information. Please to send each state’s cemetery voting list to the headquarters of my Super Pac:

      c/o WALNUT
      Funny Business Manor
      666 Highfalutin Highway
      Molten Rock, MN 66666

      LMAO! You’re a riot! Oh and also a shoe-in to win!

      Liked by 1 person

      • tubularsock says:

        Shelby, you are a dream. Tubularsock has sent the required information to you via Karl Rove who knows more about this cemetery voting than anyone.
        And if anyone could fit into “Funny Business Manor” more than Karl Tubularsock can’t think of who that would be.

        Thank you so much for your help in helping American Democracy ring!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. 1EarthUnited says:

    Kiss any babies lately? Warning: the opposition may play dirty and launch a pedophile smear campaign, aligning you with Vatican insiders!

    Liked by 4 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Now don’t you worry 1Earth, Tubularsock has looked into the pedophile vote pattern and has found that their voting power is worth going for ……. they seem to “capture” the youth vote.

      But thank you for your moralistic concern but THIS IS POLITICS!

      Liked by 3 people

      • 1EarthUnited says:

        Great to hear that you’ve so diligently researched the demographics. Do you know how many registered sex offenders that would love to give it to you, ahem… their vote that is. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • tubularsock says:

        Well thank you 1Earth for your fear concern for Tubularsock’s chastity. But don’t be alarmed. Tubularsock has been around the block several times so naivety is not an issue. Yes, Tubularsock knows exactly how many “registered sex offenders” are willing to “give it to him”, their vote that is but Tubularsock also knows just how many non-registered sex offenders are willing to “give it to him” and it’s impressive to say the least! Hey, it’s a free world and a vote is a vote! Thanks for your comment and concern.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. So where do you stand on destroying countries for humanitarian reasons, and, more importantly, sex with interns?

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Thank you NFTR for your questions about where Tubularsock stands on two important issues of the day for our great country.

      The continued policy of destroying countries for humanitarian reasons will be stopped when Tubularsock becomes President. We must stand firm against humanitarian reasoning. Bombs are too costly to be just given away like the Obomber and Shrub Administrations have done.

      In a Tubularsock Administration those countries that need humanitarian bombing will be charged accordingly. There will be no free lunch any longer for those countries who seek our assistance in bombing them into democracy.

      Democracy is a privilege not a right and we must be sure that each democratic bomb that is dropped for that noble purpose of destroying the past to ensure the future will be paid for by the country seeking the privilege.

      Now, as you are well aware, NFTR, “sex with interns” is a well established tradition in our nation’s capital, in our military, in our secret service, and halls, closets, and desks of our Congress and within the West, East, North, and South Wings of our White House. And even in our beloved Supreme Court where they may no longer be are able to rise to the occasion but the Tradition is preserved in the minds of most of the Justices.

      As we as citizens discovered when our great land was brutally attacked on 9/11 our government was caught with it’s trousers down. And it was a sad day indeed when that brutal attack interrupted so many attempting to maintain our American Tradition.

      Now Tubularsock asks you, NFTR, is it the responsibility of the President to destroy American Tradition? Would you suggest that Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny be eradicated?

      Of course you wouldn’t.

      American Traditions are as Traditional as apple pie, George Washington and the Cherry Tree, and Baseball.

      So you won’t see A Tubularsock Administration harming the Traditions we hold so dear.

      Thank you for your questions.

      Liked by 4 people

    • wolfess says:

      Now, now we all know that a blow job in the Oval Office falls far short of actual s-e-x, but I do hear that the main reason her royal clinton is running is so that SHE gets the opportunity to have sex in the Oval Office.

      Liked by 3 people

      • tubularsock says:

        wolfess, you have a discreet way of getting to the heart of a political issue. Tubularsock is well aware of all the definitions but few know that “I didn’t have sex with that woman . . .” was directed at Hillary. In part, because she didn’t like licking Cuban cigars.

        That being said, you have to admit that an Oval does lend itself to s-e-x-u-a-l imagery and if it just happens to be an entire office well, ahh . . . . . size matters to some!

        Now as for Hillary’s motives for running for the Presidency just for her prurient interest may be possible but Tubularsock doesn’t think that is likely. Having s-e-x on a historical desk may be interesting but from Tubularsock’s experience rather unpleasant even if it has a blotter.

        And speaking of prurient interests, Tubularsock feels that the Republicans have been fantasying for a long time attempting to get into Hillary’s “benghazi”!

        Thanks for your comments.

        Liked by 3 people

      • wolfess says:

        I KNEW there was something fishy about Benghazi — come to find out it was actually her royal clinton’s ‘sardine’!

        Liked by 2 people

      • As much as I believe it, I don’t want to think about it. Especially while eating breakfast

        Liked by 3 people

  10. Jay says:

    Wow, have you got any campaign buttons to pass out? I like buttons.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Jay, thanks for your comment. Tubularsock likes buttons as well and as soon as Tubularsock’s Super-Pacs deliver wheelbarrows of small unmarked bills Tubularsock will go on a buying spree and you’ll get the buttons you desire. The first one will say” TUBULARSOCK 2016 …. “The Time Is Now Motherfuckers!”

      It will be just another “family-friendly” political button.

      Liked by 1 person

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