Tubularsock

FOURTH OF JULY, 2016

 

Oh yeah, The 4th Of July. This country is 240 years old today and as a nation we are doing quite nicely destroying everything our founding fathers philosophically created.

Today we have hit the pinnacle of stupidity by creating a situation where the height of national leadership is between dufus one and dufus two. And because we have discovered a “woman” who is as fuck-up as a “man” we think we have made some sort of progress.

What we have accomplished is the choice to “vote” (a meaningless term, in truth) for TWO EVILS!

Finally we have broken that mold of having to “vote” (a meaningless term, in truth) for the “LESSER” of two evils to the ultimate prize of putting our support toward EVIL!

You have got to admit that that is American Exceptionalism at its finest!

So get out the old red, white, and blue and hang that fucking flag out on your doorstep so at least Tubularsock will know the people to avoid in his neighborhood when he does come out of his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA! (see: The Bunker Tour)

But really, we as a country have made progress. We now know that a “Black-man” is just as fucked up as a “White-man”. And really you can’t trust buying a used car from either.

And speaking about buying, the American pastime (not baseball), we Americans spend over ONE BILLION DOLLARS a year on …… wait for it ……. FIREWORKS! Yep, fireworks. That is according to the APA. Yes, we even have an APA. Oh, in case you were not up on American reality the APA is The American Pyrotechnics Association!

Really, a lobbyist group to advocate for MORE FIREWORK SALES!
And most of these fireworks are imported from China! You know, that country we can’t “trust” so Obummer pivoted toward Asia with our military to ahhh …… hmmm, maybe to protect the APA’s interest.

And this is a business Tubularsock wants to get into. Think about it. Some American smuck will work a twelve hour work day at a job he hates and then goes out and buys a loud, smoky firework that when lit lasts about 6 seconds for $14.95. And he’ll buy eight of them! It would be proper to call him a dumb shit but Tubularsock will refrain from even giving this dumb shit dumb shit recognition!

And to top this bull shit off, Americans love to express patriotism on Independence Day by displaying the stars and stripes. And according to the U.S. Census Bureau the U.S. imports FOUR MILLION DOLLARS worth of American flags from overseas, including $3.6 million from China!

But that is not all folks! According to the National Retail Federation it is expected that the spending on food over the “holiday weekend” will be in the neighborhood of $6.7 billion. That is a lot of fucking hot dogs to choke on! Or maybe Chinese Take-Out to keep with our trend.

And you thought it was all about patriotism didn’t you!