Posted: December 5, 2020 in CHRISTMAS, Christmas Jobs, MELANIA TRUMP


Well it is that time of year when most Americans rush out and kill a baby fir tree or if you are an urbanite, pick out a dead baby fir tree in the well lit dead baby fir tree cemetery temporally set up in the parking lot of your local mall.

After buying the dead baby fir tree you bring it home and decorate it with plastic shit from China and drape it in Chinese made strings of lights and proclaim Merry Christmas! FOR WHOM?

Aren’t fucking traditions fun? NO! They suck most of the time. And if you don’t think so, well then you are just WRONG!

Well that is according to Tubularsock anyway.

This year because of the economic depression this country is in, Tubularsock went off and got a part time job to help with Tubularsock construction of “homemade suicide vests for all occasions”. Yea, kind of a jazzy advertising jingle.

And of all things Tubularsock got a call from Stephanie Grisham, Melania’s, chief of staff, asking if Tubularsock would prepare The First Lady’s personal Christmas Card.

Well like everything dealing with a Trump, Tubularsock agreed and collected cash in advance (small unmarked bills). DONE DEAL!

For artistic inspiration Tubularsock went right to Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, tell-all book, Melania and Me.

It is the typical “tell-all-book” in that all an author has to do is copy ANY “tell-all-book” and just change the name of the protagonist. WELL DONE STEPHANIE!

Steph, like any good friend and comrade, secretly taped conversations she had with Melania so she could use the information as PROOF that the several conversations were as she later described in her tell-all-book. Sweet.

And as Melania stated in one of the conversations, “I’m working my ass off on Christmas stuff … Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decorations?”


But in this case it gave a more positive view of Melania Trump, in the eyes of Tubularsock, because on the Christmas issue Tubularsock and The First Lady stand together on their view of Christmas! DECK THE HALLS, MOTHERFUCKERS!”





  1. Lara/Trace says:

    Well, I would choose you to design my f*ck christmas card… you are GREAT at this!

    Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock says:

      LT, great to hear! Tubularsock was thinking like a huge Bulldozer with an indigenous person as driver running over the Bureau of Indian Affairs in Washington, D.C.!

      Very picturesque in Tubularsock’s opinion!

      And sure they’d be a big merry xmas on the bulldozer!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sha'Tara says:

    From the horse’s mouth, hey?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. swo8 says:

    I wouldn’t call it “Scrooge” but boy are you grumpy. Maybe you just need some Christmas cheer – the liquid kind?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Maybe we should draft Melania to run in 2024.

    Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Now, that isn’t such a bad idea DrB.

      It would at least show that gender isn’t the end all be all for competence!

      Tubularsock looks far more toward integrity than over race, color, sexual orientation or creed.

      NOT all jerks have a penis. Yet, a fair number do. And EVEN with a small one much harm can be done!

      Liked by 2 people

      • wolfess says:

        Tube sez; “NOT all jerks have a penis.”
        Wolfess sez: Penises are kinda like bellybuttons — women have innies while men have outies! That’s why some of us (both men and women) find it necessary to ‘come out’! Oh and, joyous Winter Solstice to you!

        Liked by 2 people

      • tubularsock says:

        Thank you wolfess and a “joyous Winter Solstice to you” as well.

        As for the “innies” and the “outies” you do make a very good point.

        It may be best for Tubularsock not to get thinking too deeply about

        all this. However, Tubularsock has always said that if one “comes”

        outside they’d be less bellybuttons in the world today.

        Liked by 1 person

      • wolfess says:

        Ah yes, thinking too deeply about anything in this current Age of the Covidiot can be seriously deflating, and the last thing we need is anymore deflated outies! 🤗😜 Now … what’s your opinion on mushrooms??? 🍄😉

        Liked by 2 people

      • tubularsock says:

        Well wolfess, deflated outies are more difficult to hide than deflated innies in many applications.

        Perhaps Tubularsock should set up a research approach in order to FIT the study into HARD facts. That’s Science!

        Tubularsock has discovered that mushrooms many times can make your hands small even if one has an inflated outie. But having enough mushrooms many hover over and float above innies with no contact with one’s own outie.

        And yes, Tubularsock has photos!

        Liked by 2 people

  5. selizabryangmailcom says:

    Yeah, what good friends! I know I always tape my friends’ conversations secretly. Who doesn’t?
    If I cared about Melania, I’d feel bad for her. But since I don’t, I don’t. ‘Cause, gosh, she has such a hard life, Christmas stuff and all that. Oh my god, are you okay, Melania? Did you break a nail? Did you have to bend over instead of getting a servant to do it? Geez. Get your obese, orange hubby to help you. All he does is (cheat at) golf. I’m sure he can help. He’d probably do anything to get you to shut your f***ing whiny mouth. Not that I care about him, either, naturally, or if her whiny “I was a hooker somewhere in Central Europe before Donny scooped me up to become First Lady ’cause I deserve it” voice makes his ears bleed. I hope it does. An unstoppable hemorrhage would make everything much easier for all of us–or at least 80 million of us–here in the US.

    (I don’t think I’m gonna reach enlightenment in this life. Maybe the next one)

    Liked by 4 people

  6. tubularsock says:

    Well good morning to you SB! You know you shouldn’t hold back your feelings and just tell it like it is ……… oh, Tubularsock sees that you have.

    Can’t argue with you here at all except that your conclusions seem like enlightenment to Tubularsock.

    But could you speak just a little louder? Tubularsock’s microphone isn’t pick up all your nuances.

    Love it! Thanks for your comment.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Lara/Trace says:

    The scoop in Europe was good ol’ Mel had lots of Johns prior to The Don.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. This is one instance where I wholeheartedly concur with your sentiments TS!

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      EML, thank you for your comment. It was music to Tubularsock’s ears!

      Tubularsock has always believed that if one rolls the dice of ideas often enough
      agreement will occur occasionally.

      Tubularsock will take any “wins” that come Tubularsock’s way. Would be interested in the area of your disagreement as well.



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