Posts Tagged ‘International Space Station’

Tube Heading Steamed



Tubularsock wants to get right to the point today.

Do you know what is one of the major dangers today in space travel?


And you can start your day now with that knowledge or you can waste some more time following out Tubularsock’s train of thought. Your choice. It’s a free world …. kind of.

Now you may have noticed all the hype around this recent asteroid that is barreling down on earth and will hit North America on September 24 and destroy it. For one, Tubularsock can’t wait. KABOOM! Goodbye grandma.

Ok, Tubularsock’s grandma is already dead so fuck that imagery.

But we are all doomed.

Tube Asteroid

Well NOT SO FAST. NASA has put out a statement that says Rumor-Not-So.

But it is some kind of prophecy and hey you kind-of-have-to believe a prophecy off the internet, right. Come on …… yeah of little faith.

But then there is that science thing and NASA says that no asteroid is going to hit the earth and they have an entire division of scientists that track those things.

Wow, decisions, decisions. Internet Prophecy vs. Science. What to believe.

And you know the government lies to us all the time. In fact it is their full time job. So, how do we know that NASA isn’t lying to us?

Well that is simple …… our government officials are still in North America. If you happen to notice as September 24 rolls around that they have left, PACK YOUR BAGS. Otherwise, all’s good.

Now greater “mankind” has always thought highly of themselves and Western Civilization has out stripped all others in ego driven mis-conceptions of “our” greatness.

So of course “our civilization” is not under threat from mere asteroids from space!

Which then leaves all of us at the mercy of SPACE JUNK or GARBAGE.

And there is the downfall of all earth bound Civilizations. Or at least from Tubularsock’s point of view. No really, we earthlings are rapidly trapping ourselves on earth. The garbage we are creating on earth and the garbage we are creating in space IS going to be the end of us all. Not some grandiose “fire from the sky” ……. nope. OUR OWN GARBAGE. And the Mayans thought they had problems!

Tube litter

Now just for the record, as of 2009 there were 19,000 pieces of debris larger than 2” that are tracked. And there are 300,000 pieces of debris larger than 1/2” orbiting the earth at the 1200 mile level.

The International Space Station orbits about 250 miles above the earth and the 2009 satellite collision with space junk happened about 500 miles above the earth.

So, Tubularsock figures you have already figured out WHO PUT THE SPACE JUNK THERE? We did!

There is dust from solid rocket motors, paint flakes and frozen coolant droplets. These particles cause erosive damage ….. like sandblasting. And even though they have attempted to shield satellites not all parts can be shielded, say solar panels and optical devices which are heavily affected.

Larger debris has to be avoided by maneuvering a spacecraft to avoid a collision. This is an ongoing task and one of the reasons for NASA’s tracking.

If a spacecraft is hit by large debris it causes more debris which becomes a larger problem.

Are you still with Tubularsock here? Just light another joint and space dudes and dudesses.

So the bottom line here is the Kessler syndrome. And your therapist thought you had problems!

Chance collisions are influenced by the number of objects in space.

And there is a critical density when new debris occur faster than natural forces can remove them and at that point a “runaway chain reaction” may occur (theorized by Kessler) rapidly increasing the amount of debris in orbit and the risk to operational satellites.

What, Tubularsock worry?

To date we have left 400,000 pounds of junk on the moon.

It appears that litter is earthlings middle name.

There are commemorative plaques (dogs too have to piss on everything if it makes you feel better) broken space probes and lunar rovers.

Even astronaut’s shit has been left behind from their behinds.

There are flags, and pins, crashed satellites, and fucking golf balls, space boots, empty food bags, cameras, tools, “defecation collection devices, urine collection assemblies”, and a silicon disk carrying statements from Presidents Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy, and Eisenhower which to Tubularsock is the ultimate in shit collection!

But if all that isn’t bad enough San Francisco based Elysium Space announced last week that it will start to send cremated remains of your loved ones to the moon for $11,950.00.

As they stated: “Families now have the historic opportunity to commemorate their departed love ones every night through the everlasting splendor and soft illumination of the Earth’s closest companion: the Moon.”

Tubularsock can see it now …… the ultimate business opportunity and Tubularsock will let YOU invest in the ground floor (send cash) and you too can be an investor in space by being a partner in Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK,Ltd.

Here’s how it works ……. say one discovers after they ship their deceased husband or wife off for the forever moon trip that during their entire loving marriage that they had been cheating on them. Sleeping around with every Tom, Dick, and Jane!

So every time they view “the everlasting splendor and soft illumination of the Earth’s closest companion: the Moon” ……. well, heartbreak.

Solution: Contact Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK, Ltd. and let us ease the pain.

For just $28,000.00 we will end the heartbreak and remove them from the moon FOREVER!

And for an additional $23,000.00 Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK, Ltd. will subcontract to Tubularsock’s SEND THEM ON, Ltd. and we will ship them (postage paid) on to the SUN to burn to HELL!

So you can see that there is profit in garbage and even though garbage will bring down our Civilization why not profit on the decline? At the heart of Capitalism is DEATH.


Screen Shot 2013-04-23 at 6.13.33 PM

Tubularsock is not surprised nor will you be so get a cup of coffee, tea, bourbon, scotch,  sake, a bowl of Afghan hash ……….. whatever it takes to settle in and read what you already know and be amazed once again at the shear stupidity and narrow-mindedness of presumably intelligent individuals. Basically there is dumb and dumber. This can hold it’s head up high in the pantheon-of-dumbolgy to the level of dumbest!

Let Tubularsock start at the simplest level and progress up the ladder of understanding.


Take a thimble full of black ink and dump it into a glass of water.

Take a stone and toss it into a pond.

And the results, please ………….

The glass of water is now black and the pond has concentric circles moving away from the spot where the stone entered the water.

Another example of the phenomenon about to be discussed is found in this true-life-experience. Tubularsock likes to run and every once in a while he takes BART (a rapid transit system) from Oakland to San Francisco. He exits at the Embarcadero Station which puts him at the foot of Market Street and he walks a short distance to the famous SF Ferry Building.

The Ferry Building is the starting point of the run which proceeds along the Embarcadero across the Golden Gate Bridge down into Sausalito. A little city north of SF. It’s a nice 12 mile run. Then Tubularsock hops on a ferry and returns to the Ferry Building and then back to his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. in Oakland, CA.

Well more than once while running across the Golden Gate Bridge which more often than not has a strong wind blowing I’ve encountered a cigarette smoker exhaling their smoke. And even with a strong wind and a HUGE amount of air space the smell of that smoke is present.

So, let’s review: Ink, ripples, smoke.

Now like terrorism we are all supposed to be scared of HACKERS and CYBER-ATTACKS! Sure we are ……..

So like always if you follow terrorism, hackers, and cyber-attacks down to their fundamentals ONE ALWAYS (THAT’S ALWAYS) finds the United States Government creating, promoting, and actively engaged is these activities. IT’S WHAT WE DO.

Another FEAR we are all programed to have is IRAN GETTING A NUCLEAR BOMB!

And you know the reasons ……… they’re Middle Eastern Crazies and oh my god if they had THE bomb then they may use it.

“Crazies”? The only country in the history of the world that has EVER dropped a nuclear bomb on people is the United States of America. And we dropped TWO! On civilians!

So much for CRAZIES.

Well in order to screw up Iran from developing nuclear weapons the U.S. along with Israel (who happens to be crazier than bat shit) created a computer virus to fuck up Iran’s nuclear enrichment machinery. This virus is called “Stuxnet”.

Fun side note: Just in case you may have forgotten Iran received nuclear machinery for the development of their nuclear reactor from Halliburton while Dick Cheney was CEO even though it was against United States law to trade nuclear products or information with Iran at that time. Never say one person can’t make a difference!

Well, just like any good Laurel and Hardy movie Stuxnet not only infected Iran’s nuclear facility but this malware has spread outside of Iran to Russia and has even infected machines on the International Space Station, according to Eugene Kaspersky, a Russian specialist in the information security field.

Now how fun is that?

But it even gets better. Last November, U.S. oil giant Chevron also revealed that Stuxnet ran loose beyond its intended targets in 2010 and infected its network. At the time, a Chevron spokeswoman claimed that the company was not negatively impacted by the cyber attack. According to SC Magazine, a security magazine for professionals.

And according to Sean Sullivan, a security analyst for F-Secure, “It didn’t spread via the internet. It spread outside of its target due to a bug and so it started traveling via USB. Given the community targeted, I would not be surprised if other countries had nuclear plants with infected PCs”.

Stuxnet is traveling by those little portable USB gadgets which seem to bypass the traditional defenses used by computer security.

This is the perfect example of the art of unintended consequences and as Kaspersky stated in a Q&A at the Australia’s National Press Club last week, “Everything you do is a boomerang . . .”

So you see, Stuxnet is the ink poured into the water which has become the concentric cycles continuing to spread in a very large pond.

But before Tubularsock can wrap up his Nuke discussion this little bit of information will heighten your awareness of just how far the U.S. has fallen from the rotting nuclear tree.

Now you all know Major General Michael Carey, right?


You should be glad Tubularsock is in your life!

Major General Michael Carey WAS commander of 20th Air Force, in charge of the Air Force’s fleet of 450 Minuteman 3 nuclear missiles.

Carey was removed from his duty for unspecified personal misbehavior that other officials said was related to alcohol use.

Fun side note: If “A”  follows “B” and “A” is misbehavior related to alcohol then “B” MUST BE  SEX! Well, NO the misbehavior IS NOT sexual misconduct nor is it related to operational readiness.  So just what kind of “misbehavior” that is alcohol related would result in a guy with 35 years of commendable service be fired? Stay-tuned.

Now don’t worry …….. you know he had a couple of beers just once and ………..

The Air Force has stated that future candidates for nuclear commander positions WILL NOW BE more carefully screened! (will now be?)

Wait for it ………. including the addition of an Internet search of the person’s name that could turn up any damaging information.

Wow, with a sigh of relief, you and Tubularsock can feel more secure that the guy who is the commander of the Air Force’s fleet of 450 Minuteman 3 nuclear missiles has been given the ALL CLEAR by Google!

But hold everything. Carey was shifted to an unspecified job at Air Force Space Command, which has no responsibility for nuclear weapons but will most likely get the Stuxnet virus because with the International Space Station infected, well we’re all one!

“Carey was fired two days after the sacking of a senior Navy (Vice) admiral (Tim Giardina) who was second-in-command at U.S. Strategic Command, which is the military’s nuclear war-fighting organization.

Their removal came amid a series of disclosures by The Associated Press about security and leadership lapses, training problems, and an assertion by one mid-level nuclear officer that he had found ‘rot’ inside his nuclear missile unit at Minot Air Force Base, N.D.” (Robert Burns, AP)

tube ad&gen

Fun side note: Vice Admiral Tim Giardina was removed from duty because of ……… of all things, vice! He was caught by the police using fake porker chips at the Horseshoe Casino in Council Bluffs, Iowa . You have got to admit …. that’s funny!

However because of this ……….. candidates for these positions will now be reviewed for BOTH  physical and mental health issues! (will now be?)

So. With the Stuxnet virus running wild, the Navy admirals and Air Force generals running wild, “rot in the missiles” becomes the allegory for the entire set of events.

Now, all that is left is for Tubularsock to explain the smoke contamination on the Golden Gate Bridge.

You see in any good film somebody gets screwed and in the nuclear afterglow of Stuxnet, admirals, and generals they always light up a cigarette and ask, “was it as good for you as it was for me”?

Well trust Tubularsock on this ………  this affects all of us because we all are contaminated by the same “smoke” and it will be us being screwed AND THAT’S NOT GOOD!

And some of you doubted “American Exceptionalism”!

Screen Shot 2012-07-21 at 11.55.56 PM