Posted: August 26, 2015 in Garbage, NASA, space junk
Tags: , , ,

Tube Heading Steamed



Tubularsock wants to get right to the point today.

Do you know what is one of the major dangers today in space travel?


And you can start your day now with that knowledge or you can waste some more time following out Tubularsock’s train of thought. Your choice. It’s a free world …. kind of.

Now you may have noticed all the hype around this recent asteroid that is barreling down on earth and will hit North America on September 24 and destroy it. For one, Tubularsock can’t wait. KABOOM! Goodbye grandma.

Ok, Tubularsock’s grandma is already dead so fuck that imagery.

But we are all doomed.

Tube Asteroid

Well NOT SO FAST. NASA has put out a statement that says Rumor-Not-So.

But it is some kind of prophecy and hey you kind-of-have-to believe a prophecy off the internet, right. Come on …… yeah of little faith.

But then there is that science thing and NASA says that no asteroid is going to hit the earth and they have an entire division of scientists that track those things.

Wow, decisions, decisions. Internet Prophecy vs. Science. What to believe.

And you know the government lies to us all the time. In fact it is their full time job. So, how do we know that NASA isn’t lying to us?

Well that is simple …… our government officials are still in North America. If you happen to notice as September 24 rolls around that they have left, PACK YOUR BAGS. Otherwise, all’s good.

Now greater “mankind” has always thought highly of themselves and Western Civilization has out stripped all others in ego driven mis-conceptions of “our” greatness.

So of course “our civilization” is not under threat from mere asteroids from space!

Which then leaves all of us at the mercy of SPACE JUNK or GARBAGE.

And there is the downfall of all earth bound Civilizations. Or at least from Tubularsock’s point of view. No really, we earthlings are rapidly trapping ourselves on earth. The garbage we are creating on earth and the garbage we are creating in space IS going to be the end of us all. Not some grandiose “fire from the sky” ……. nope. OUR OWN GARBAGE. And the Mayans thought they had problems!

Tube litter

Now just for the record, as of 2009 there were 19,000 pieces of debris larger than 2” that are tracked. And there are 300,000 pieces of debris larger than 1/2” orbiting the earth at the 1200 mile level.

The International Space Station orbits about 250 miles above the earth and the 2009 satellite collision with space junk happened about 500 miles above the earth.

So, Tubularsock figures you have already figured out WHO PUT THE SPACE JUNK THERE? We did!

There is dust from solid rocket motors, paint flakes and frozen coolant droplets. These particles cause erosive damage ….. like sandblasting. And even though they have attempted to shield satellites not all parts can be shielded, say solar panels and optical devices which are heavily affected.

Larger debris has to be avoided by maneuvering a spacecraft to avoid a collision. This is an ongoing task and one of the reasons for NASA’s tracking.

If a spacecraft is hit by large debris it causes more debris which becomes a larger problem.

Are you still with Tubularsock here? Just light another joint and space dudes and dudesses.

So the bottom line here is the Kessler syndrome. And your therapist thought you had problems!

Chance collisions are influenced by the number of objects in space.

And there is a critical density when new debris occur faster than natural forces can remove them and at that point a “runaway chain reaction” may occur (theorized by Kessler) rapidly increasing the amount of debris in orbit and the risk to operational satellites.

What, Tubularsock worry?

To date we have left 400,000 pounds of junk on the moon.

It appears that litter is earthlings middle name.

There are commemorative plaques (dogs too have to piss on everything if it makes you feel better) broken space probes and lunar rovers.

Even astronaut’s shit has been left behind from their behinds.

There are flags, and pins, crashed satellites, and fucking golf balls, space boots, empty food bags, cameras, tools, “defecation collection devices, urine collection assemblies”, and a silicon disk carrying statements from Presidents Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy, and Eisenhower which to Tubularsock is the ultimate in shit collection!

But if all that isn’t bad enough San Francisco based Elysium Space announced last week that it will start to send cremated remains of your loved ones to the moon for $11,950.00.

As they stated: “Families now have the historic opportunity to commemorate their departed love ones every night through the everlasting splendor and soft illumination of the Earth’s closest companion: the Moon.”

Tubularsock can see it now …… the ultimate business opportunity and Tubularsock will let YOU invest in the ground floor (send cash) and you too can be an investor in space by being a partner in Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK,Ltd.

Here’s how it works ……. say one discovers after they ship their deceased husband or wife off for the forever moon trip that during their entire loving marriage that they had been cheating on them. Sleeping around with every Tom, Dick, and Jane!

So every time they view “the everlasting splendor and soft illumination of the Earth’s closest companion: the Moon” ……. well, heartbreak.

Solution: Contact Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK, Ltd. and let us ease the pain.

For just $28,000.00 we will end the heartbreak and remove them from the moon FOREVER!

And for an additional $23,000.00 Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK, Ltd. will subcontract to Tubularsock’s SEND THEM ON, Ltd. and we will ship them (postage paid) on to the SUN to burn to HELL!

So you can see that there is profit in garbage and even though garbage will bring down our Civilization why not profit on the decline? At the heart of Capitalism is DEATH.


  1. Ken says:

    THAT was a good one! Lol
    Creativity never sleeps,

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wick Burner says:

    If I wasn’t at work, I would definitely light that joint for a trip into orbit…

    But then, I might get taken out by a paint chip, dislodging a ceramic tile on my hull.

    Oh, the humanity…

    Let me know when shares are available for SEND THEM ON, Ltd. There’s your real cash-cow.

    Liked by 4 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Wick Burner thank you for your investor inquiry. You have a keen and precise appreciation of mankind’s weaknesses. Yes, SEND THEM ON, Ltd. has a chance for huge market share. Tubularsock will send you the portfolio written on small rolling papers. Or the more healthy way is the portfolio via vapor.

      Paint chip precautions are advised.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. swo8 says:

    Do you really want that stuff back?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. donzo442 says:

    Fly me to the moon takes on an entirely new dimension…
    Good one Tubularsock.

    Liked by 4 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Thanks Don ……. Tubularsock figures several song may be affected.

      Liked by 2 people

      • onnovocks says:

        ..and some movies. Cosmo’s Moon (Moon Struck) as a Landfill, or Way Station for SEND THEM ON, Ltd. How about IPOs? Moonraker also conjures up a whole different image, does that mean that James Bond will be on the board of Directors? Sign me up!

        Funny they have to track their own garbage to safely launch the next mission. How about that Posted $500 fine for littering in Fl, 19,000 objects X $500 is a lot of cash. Giggles!

        Liked by 2 people

      • tubularsock says:

        Good point onnovocks! The affect on moon movies changes things up for sure. Tubularsock likes the Landfill/Way Station idea …. Way cool if they don’t get in the Way!

        And James IS on the board of Directors, of course! Tubularsock needed someone to carry the heat and enforce the contracts. Why not the best?

        Tubularsock is looking for a director of finance and with your experience with multiplication it may be a good idea to send you resumé.

        Thanks for the comment ….. some ideas to think about around a bottle of Wild Turkey.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. What I find mind boggling is the incredible stupidity of the scientists running the US space program. Surely the accumulation of tons of space junk was preventable with foresight and planning.

    Liked by 4 people

    • tubularsock says:

      There are two kinds of scientists, DrB ….. the ones that work for corporations and the government and the four that don’t.
      Haven’t you noticed that we have always been in a race to go to space? We also seem to always be in a race to go to war too.

      Being is a race requires speed NOT thinking and we have always gone for speed and the results are obvious.

      Thanks for commenting.

      Liked by 3 people

  6. “Tubularsock’s BRING’EM BACK,Ltd” – Brilliant idea – Hahahaha, great post, entertaining and informative about shit in space. Thank you Mr T. Sock.

    – sonmi not pooing upon the Cloud

    Liked by 3 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Tubularsock is glad you liked the idea and of all people you should be sending cash to invest! You are much closer to the problem, being upon the clouds and all, than Tubularsock, being in his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. True, Tubularsock is in the TOP FLOOR but you are upon the clouds …. get Tubularsock’s point? Invest now.

      And “. . . not pooing upon the Cloud” shows class!
      Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      Liked by 3 people

  7. Jay says:

    What an incredibly sad legacy that before we were even down wasting our own planet, we were already doing out in space, too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock says:

      So correct, Jay. Tubularsock feels the same way. One would think that we’d figure out that we are all one but somehow that has escaped us.

      But at least you keep Tubularsock from going to shity movies. Your move reviews are very helpful, all kidding aside …. thanks.

      And thanks for taking the time to comment.


  8. Tubularsock, You can always cheer me up, thanks! If we die in our own trash … well, we’ve earned it. I just hate this feeling of claustrophobia, now I know there’s no way out. Except for these wonderful “services” we can now buy. The better to spread our garbage even farther? Maybe we are too generous sometimes. This might appeal to my narcissistic mother though, as becoming space junk would constitute a pretty tangible bit of immortality. – Linda

    Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock says:

      OH YES … MOTHER!

      Well Linda, mother as space junk is a topic for another day!

      And just think of the issues that could occur when ashes commingled … a “new” morality on the horizon? And your mother’s narcissistic issues blended with others. And then what would immortality bring? A poly-mother forever?

      The great thing about claustrophobia and space is that regardless how large space happens to be it is ONLY the immediate space that counts. So, Tubularsock is going to clean his bunker today. Thanks for the reminder.

      And Tubularsock is glad that he cheered you up ……. loss and gain are the same within the illusion … they don’t exist. See how easy is THAT?

      Liked by 2 people

  9. sojourner says:

    “At the heart of Capitalism is DEATH.”

    Couldn’t have said it any better!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. How about this one!

    “Oh, moon beneath my Angel wings,
    St. Peter, where you be?
    Oh, tis Scotty of the Star Trek crew
    who waits instead for me.”

    Or this one!

    “Ethel, I will moon you.
    You plagued me nigh to death
    and to your reward I send you
    thus I’ve gone and spent your wealth.”

    Hell! I could keep going in this vein as this particular post as brought out the creative ‘moon’ spirit in me.

    “Spirit of the moon,
    receive me unto you.
    I rest in peace tonight.
    Oh, what a gorgeous view!”

    LOL!! This one was a complete ‘hit’ with me Tubularsock! Thanks man!

    Liked by 3 people

    • tubularsock says:

      Oh moon beam Shelby is the one
      Just too much champagne there for some

      She skips the moon beam dance so well
      And drinks that bubbly, oh what the hell

      In Shelby’s space there’s plenty of room
      For running off howling at the moon

      Where Tubularsock may croon a tune
      And light a joint that will last ‘till noon!

      So moon beam poems can come and go
      Probably would last longer with some blow.

      Liked by 3 people

  11. wolfess says:

    Oh drat! And here I’ve been fantasizing about sending our Wall St terrorists up in a rocket and shoving them out into space a few thousand miles up! This well thought-out article means I can’t do that b/c the last thing we need in space is the shit that emanates from Wall St! I guess it’s back to the guillotine … 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      TOO BAD, wolfess! And that is such an excellent idea. But there is an upside but off hand Tubularsock is not sure if it is an inflationary or deflationary idea …… Tubularsock will get back to you on that. Don’t worry, we can work it out.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Daintytime says:

    You are on a role! Very funny. I think that is what happened with the Mayans – kind of. Didn’t their civilization collapse because they ran out of resources?

    Liked by 1 person

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