Tube Africa Report heading

Oh sure, Tubularsock was just sitting in his top floor corner office in his underground bunker over looking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA in a sea of tranquility from the aroma of his flowering hydroponic marijuana plantation. Few realize how much space happens to be underground and especially while overlooking Washington, D.C.

But enough about reality.

Have you ever noticed that AFRICA never gets into the news in the United States. Ok, maybe “never” is an overstatement but so little that it has earned its title as the “DARK CONTINENT” all over again.

Now for those of you who missed the history of the “Dark Continent” when you were not engaged in your early historical studies, here’s a hint.

The name “Dark Continent” was not given to Africa because of the color of the people living there, but because of the mystery that surrounded the place back when the Europeans visited there. And this holds true today.

Don’t think so? Ok, name ten African nations that exist right now ………..

Now we do get the news when the genocides happen or terrorist activities because that is a significant part of the accepted narrative. And the U.S. and Europe want to take those who are doing the genocides and terrorist activities and put them on trial as long as the U.S. and Europeans aren’t tried for the genocides and terrorists activities they create.

It has always been that way. And the U.S. and Europe doesn’t want to place any responsibility for these slaughters on those who sell the guns, rockets, and tanks to the crazy bastards that use them on their people. Primely the U.S., England, France, Israel, Russia and China do the gun running.

But it is most interesting but not at all that surprising to discover that there is and has been for some time a huge amount of corporate positioning in the entire continent.

You see, Africa has a shit load of natural resources that “we” want to “assist” them in removing them from their possession. What a surprise.

And on top of that …….. gosh, speaking of slave labor, and no worker safety or environmental regulations, well the place is awash with corporate capitalism at its best!

So here are some fun facts ……….

Tubularsock can’t report on Africa without sitting down with a bowl of Chinese noodles and some rice wine and list how much China is involved in the extraction movement in the  “Dark Continent”.


The Chinese seem to have a stack of cash they have picked up from the war torn American Government and are investing heavily in East Africa’s recently uncovered stores of mineral resources.

Of course they have to compete with the Brazilian, Japanese, Indian, Irish, and Anglo-Australian investors. Gosh, everyone seems to love Mozambique, Tanzania, Uganda, Kenya and Ethiopia.

According to the Wall Street Journal – ChinaRealTime once extraction projects are in full swing in 2020 the mineral wealth could be between $17-$24 billion a year.

But like all mineral wealth the damn stuff is under the fucking ground so the Chinese are prepared with the cash to partner up with the likes of Tullow Oil Plc. which is leading exploration activities in Uganda.

In Kenya the government awarded China’s Fenxi Mining Group development rights for coal reserves which will help Kenyan cement and steel industries to create the very same unbreathable air that the Chinese have developed so well in Beijing!

And then there are roads to be built and holes to be dug and train tracks to be laid and ports to be constructed all without those silly environmental considerations that slow progress down. Because we all know that humans are not responsible for climate change because there is nothing that we do that affect the world we live in except improve the GNP!  

As you are well aware as jobs are created and the asphalt is spread the workers will need to be provided with 60” HDTV’s and iPhones and who can do that better than Walmart!

tube walmart

From the venture capitalist point of view,  Africa is seen as the major investment frontier because of its young population, untapped resources and economic instability.

Now WALMART’s push for a foothold in Africa came a few years ago when it bought controlling interest in Massmart in South Africa and is currently pushing into Kenya. That attempt hit a hurdle after Kenyan retailer Naivas said it was no longer selling a controlling stake to the US company’s South African subsidiary, Massmart.

Naivas chairman Simon Mukuha had said in August they were looking to sell a majority stake, 50% plus one share, to Massmart, to bring in fresh blood and ideas.

“We are fattening our cow. As and when we are ready we will do that (sell) but as it is now we are not,” Gilbert Mwangi, the administration manager at Naivas, said. “They (talks with Massmart) are off. We are not selling now.”

Massmart CEO Grant Pattison, . . . said the company was still keen on entering Kenya.

“We are not rethinking our investment decision in Kenya. We are still looking for a partner . . .”. Massmart runs 29 stores in 11 African countries outside South Africa that contribute about 8% of its total sales.

A Massmart and Naivas deal could have fallen victim to the tightness of the market in the region. “Smaller supermarket chains are in such high demand that they would ask for a horrendous price.”

Now with all this Wall Street Journal gibberish you may have noticed there was NOT ONE reference to people. That is significant, in fact very significant. NOT ONE PERSON is considered! It’s all “. . . failed to keep up . . .”, “. . . still opening . . .”, “. . . 8% of its total sales . . .”, and “. . . major investment frontier . . .” !

In there lies the crux of the entire Capitalistic System and it’s eventual downfall from implosion!

One can only disregard PEOPLE so long and then the extreme shift takes place. Don’t think so ……. Tubularsock knows it’s true … proof is in the pudding. Just wait.

But even as Walmart worms it’s way into Africa that doesn’t change the fact that Robert Mugabe turned 90 and Zimbabwe spent about $1m on the celebration. And what better way to spend all that money than with releasing 90 balloons. Wow. Costly balloons.

Tube Mugaba Birthday

Mugabe has been in power since 1980 and still can whip out an hour long speech with vigor. Holding his fist in the air he proclaimed that Zimbabweans didn’t hate the British, who were their colonial masters, but loved their own country more. Sounds like bull shit to Tubularsock.

In contrast, Libyan leader Muammar al-Gaddafi nationalized the oil industries and attempted to create a United States of Africa. With his image of a revolutionary, Col Gaddafi inspired South Africans to fight for their liberation, funding and arming the anti-apartheid movement as it fought white minority rule.

Funny how Libya just happened to have a civil war and Gaddafi found himself dead ………… maybe balloons are the way to go!

Which brings Tubularsock to the role of the United States in Africa.

And what is that role? 


Now in order to counter the Chinese and other nations from moving in on Africa’s natural resources The United States rushes in to “PROMOTE DEMOCRACY”.

The United States has long maintained influence and indirect control in Africa through financial institutions such as the World Bank, International Monetary Fund, and African Development Bank. These financial institutions are the tools the U.S. keeps Africa in debt.

Over the last decade, America has quietly expanded its military presence throughout Africa. And the main tool of this conquest ……… AFRICOM!

Now this goes back to Baby-Bush’s Reign of Error period. As Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense Theresa Whelan stated in 2007,

“AFRICOM is about helping Africans build greater capacity to assure their own security.”

But in truth Vice-Admiral Robert Moeller, in 2008 stated that AFRICOM’s goal was “protecting the free flow of natural resources from Africa to the global market.”

And in 2010, Moeller wrote  “Let there be no mistake. AFRICOM’s job is to protect American lives and promote American interests.”

A good example of American interests is the US-sponsored break up of Sudan and the creation of South Sudan.

With the oilfields being located primarily in the south of the country, the US led the charge to dismantle Sudan and create a South Sudan that would be dependent on US finance and military muscle for its very survival.

The United States has attempted to destabilize Zimbabwe throughout the last decade, going so far as to impose crippling sanctions and attempt regime change in order to block China’s influence.

And all this is well represented in the perfect news allegory out of Ghana.

Now, Tubularsock does admit that his own habit of following news out of Ghana is sketchy at best but how could he not report to you this top news story from GNA (Ghana News Agency).

It was reported that Two lovers got stuck during sex in Sunyani.

Now granted, it wasn’t a big news day in Ghana.

“A man and a woman who were having sex in a guest house in Sunyani were reported to have got stuck on Wednesday when the man could not remove his penis from the woman’s vagina and that it took the timely intervention of the police to whisk the inseparable lovers from the scene.”

An attendant at the guest house said that the two lovers booked the room for 30 minutes but when their time elapsed, they failed to come out.

He said he knocked at the door but heard some unusual sound from the room and informed some traders in the market.

“When we forced the door open we saw the unexpected as the two lovers were lying  on the floor in torment,” the attendant said.

When the Ghana News Agency got to the scene at 2:30pm, activities at the market had halted and people had gathered at the guest house.

The police moved in, put the two inseparable lovers in a vehicle and drove them away.

Some of the market women said the woman was a trader from Berekum who sells soap every market day. But the man seemed to have been not from this area due to his hair style.


Some of them suspected that a curse might have been placed either on the man or the woman and said rituals had to be performed before they could be separated. Seems reasonable to Tubularsock when asked on his return flight from Ghana. 

But there is a clear message in this story. Tubularsock sees that whenever the United States gets involved in “protecting it’s interests” it just doesn’t know “when to pull out”!

Yes, Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq are all good examples of GETTING IT STUCK!


And it will be the same outcome in Africa, I’m afraid. 

But the U.S. destabilization work isn’t the only gang-bang taking place in Africa to thwart  the Chinese.

France and Japan have agreed to cooperate on military and economic issues as was stated by Japanese Foreign Minister Fumio Kishida when he said in Paris recently, “The agreement will open up a new dimension for our cooperation on security and defense.”

Which means that these current France-Japan talks focused largely on a stepped-up imperialist intervention in Africa. Japan pledged to support ongoing French wars in two former French colonies, Mali and the Central African Republic.

Well it’s good to have friends.

And the beautiful thing about the military build up in Japan is how it is explained ………

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe calls it “proactive pacifism”. Now what could possibly go wrong with THAT?

But let’s not forget Great Britain and her African adventures. And they are many but the one Tubularsock is most fascinated with is the ARMS-SALES INSURANCE SCAM.

This is priceless.

The English Government in the last fifteen months have shipped 44,000 guns to East Africa. And like any good government agency the House of Commons Arms Export Controls Committee admitted that the government’s Business Department which “approves” these massive weapons exports stated that in order for this river of arms to keep flowing it, “. . . did not thoroughly assess where the weapons were going”.

Some of these guns happened to end up into the hands of the “rebel” fighters in Libya and Syria but that isn’t the fun part ………… many of these weapons have ended up into the hands of Somalian pirates.

Now hold it ……… that’s still isn’t the fun part.

Here’s the fun part …… “Who benefits from Somalian piracy in the Gulf of Aden? According to a study conducted by the German Institute for Economic Research (DIW), insurance companies have seen a windfall in profits from the Somali pirate attacks, with insurance premiums sharply increasing.

And the English Government is providing arms to the Somalian Pirates?

Another oddity here reported in Forbes Magazine in 2010 is that if one was willing to buy from Willis Group Holdings plc. their highest insurance package per voyage ($35K) somehow, you would completely avoided being targeted by Somali pirates.

Funny how shit works, isn’t it.

But the Somalian Pirates are just the diversion. So when you are looking for which nut shell the Pirates are under in the shell game the British Government has funnel £2.2m into the UN’s Office on Drugs and Crime’s, “counter-piracy program”, in Somalia to help fund the reinforcement police and maritime forces which will defend British interests in the region.

Now Tubularsock just can’t help from noticing that the terms “counter-piracy program”, “counter-insurgency program” and “the war on terror” all seem to sound alike. Hmmm ……… Could there be something going on here?


It may be as simple as all these governments use the same Public Relations firm in London …… what do you think?

So how does Tubularsock see the future of Africa?


aframall, un-Ltd.

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  1. Tubularsock – “Funny how shit works” Oh, funny just isn’t the half of it. Great post, even if I am gritting my teeth, again. There’s a curse in effect all right, on all of us. I’d like to hope the infamous mythical Toothed Vagina might make itself felt soon,so to speak, and vigorously let loose with its own version of the clampdown! Sigh. Sometimes, I do wish I knew how it would feel to have a government I’m not profoundly ashamed of. – Linda


    • tubularsock says:

      You know, Linda ….. Tubularsock feels that it would really feel great if a government almost anywhere would appear that wasn’t shameful. That would be a bright star but alas it can only be done in TUBELAND and first Tubularsock would have to kick out some native peoples in order to have world street creds and then we’d be back full circle. Oh better yet I’ll declare MY homeland where Israel stands now …… no really, Tubularsock’s religious documents which were xeroxed by GOD to Tubularsock declares that before the Jews had a tribe in that area Tubularsock was there in his condo! Oh shit! Now what will Tube do with the Palestineians who think they lived there too. Wow this shameless government isn’t as easy as I thought. Oh fuck it …. I’ll just go bomb somebody weak and poor ……. that’ll show them!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, Linda.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So, they haven’t stolen enough of Africa? They stole MY ancestors, they stole the minerals and precious metals and other natural resources and they’re still doing it. Every country still has its damn hands dipped in Africa, just scoop, scoop, scooping and telling the Africans that it is all for their own good, see! In the process of raping and pillaging the African continent, we’re building roads and bridges for you guys and just forget about the fact that the reasons why we’re building ’em is because we need them to haul off all of your assets. Now, here, take this pittance of what your shit is worth and keep letting us drain you dry and when we’re finally done, you’ll still have all of those lovely roads and bridges. Win, win ain’t it? And America of course wants in on that goldmine and any other mine filled with riches of precious gems and all. And of course, well America will assume the position of the benevolent uncle who is going to save Africa from herself because those Africans are just mistreating their own people, what with the weapons that they got from us. It ain’t our fault, no it ain’t. But we’ll draw the attention of the world to the plight of the African people who are being fucked up by other Africans who are using weapons from the West and say, “oh yes, we’ve got to intervene.” “It’s the ‘christian’ thing to do!”

    Africa never started out with firearms. That was why it was so easy for all and sundry to go over there and cart off people and then lie about how that came about. Now, they’re still telling lies about what’s going on over there and trying to act as if their shit don’t stink. It is a damn shame what China, Japan, the U.S., Australia and all the other shits, are doing to that great continent. Corruption, vice and greed run amok and wreaking havoc and they don’t give a damn about the natives, just as the colonists didn’t give a damn about the Indians and the Australians never gave a damn about their Aboriginal peoples and they still don’t.

    And I ‘heave a sigh’! SIGH!!!

    Thanks Tube!

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Well Shelby, you pretty much covered it. The sad part is the cooperation of the African power elite that will plow over their own people for a couple of bucks!

      Just shows you that when it comes to greed ……… we’re all equal.

      Except for the Christians ……. they have God on their side as well. Amen!

      Thanks for your comment, right on!

      Liked by 1 person

      • “The sad part is the cooperation of the African power elite that will plow over their own people for a couple of bucks!”

        That IS sad, but at least the Africans are not roaming the world hell bent on destroying every other culture in their wake WHILE pillaging, enslaving and destroying others and their country. I am making no excuses for the actions by the elite fucks in Africa that are not doing right by the people, but I have talked to many people from different parts of Africa and all of them go back for visits. They all have family still there and they tell me that the West’s portrayal of Africa is not all true. Yes, corruption is everywhere and no matter where it is, there are those who will suffer because of it. The Africans I know are extremely ‘pro’ family. I have attended parties and they are so giving and have such wonderful traditions. I was at a birthday party of an African couple and when dancing, it is a tradition where the men weave through the crowd of dancers and rain money on any female they choose to rain money on. I must say, I made a killing. LMAO! I love their traditions, man! LOL!

        The power elite everywhere will plow over their own people for a couple of bucks as is occurring, again, everywhere and most definitely here in America. We’re some real shits too ya know!


  3. Dearing says:

    There’s an old saying – “the opposite of what is said is equally true”. Now, when I hear the words “promote democracy” or “make them safer, I think, here we go again and I get ready for the blood bath and the destruction! As usual, follow the dollar or the yuan or the pound or the yen – anything but what is said!


    • tubularsock says:

      You’ve got that right Dearing! But Tubularsock is stacking up his bitcoins to back up his destruction! It is more difficult to follow the bitcoin especially if you have them with MtGox in Japan ………$429 million gone! There goes the revolution.

      Thanks for your comment, Dearing. You always “pound” the nail on the “yen”! Ok, some comment responses just don’t work even if you get a “yen” to do them again!


  4. Jeff Nguyen says:

    Unfortunately, Americans would care more if we invaded Antarctica, the “white continent”, than if we launched simultaneous drone strikes on every single country in Africa at the stroke of midnight. AFRICOM really doesn’t need to be so covert, it’s not like anyone gives a damn in the U.S. what the hell they’re doing over there. Love your exposés, Tubular.


    • tubularsock says:

      You are so correct once again, Jeff. But it sure would cause attention if that “Dark Continent” attacked that “white continent” Tubularsock can hear the outcry even in his bunker! The white man’s greatest fear …….


      • Jeff Nguyen says:

        Your comment made me visualize another Hollywood blockbuster…The Emperor (penguin) Strikes Back. What’s George Lucas doing these days?


  5. H3nry J3kyll says:

    More useful info in this post than an entire hour of local news. Nice investigative journalism. Hey you know the old adage, if it looks like a duck…


    • tubularsock says:

      I’m glad Tubularsock can keep ahead of the local news. Throw in a little sex and a million dollar birthday party and hell Tubularsock has out produced them hands down!

      Tubularsock attempts to duck old adages but …… if it walks like a duck . . .

      Thank you H3nry for taking the time to comment.


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