The Story Behind the story that is behind that story.
So here is THAT story:
Today Tubularsock, it has been reported in the Washington Toast, resigned from all his positions in management and supervisory boards of companies and foundations. It is assumed by this reporter that Tubularsock has taken this step in order to position himself so as to avoid conflicts of interest for high political office.
Though Tubularsock has said publicly that he has no intentions of running for President this nano-second, rumors have been spread by TubePact that he would consider running but not as a fucking-corporate-ass-licking Democrat or a head-up-their-ass Republican.
Rumor has it, from a source this reporter trusts as much as himself, that Tubularsock has been asked by the
Groundswell Party to carry the banner of victory all the way to the Oval Office on Pennsylvania Avenue!
This is a late breaking story so new information will be disclosed in the future as this story progresses.
In the meantime my we suggest getting your update from Tabloids. They also seem to know shit before it happens as well.
Tubularsock 
Breaking News From Redneck, Arizona –
We the rednecks from Redneck, Arizona vote in the affirmative.
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Press release:
TubePact knows that Tubularsock feels the warm act of support from the rednecks from Redneck, Arizona and wishes to thank you all for this overwhelming affirmative support.
As Tubularsock has so often stated: “No matter what color your neck is we in America stand together for “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” and rest assured that Tubularsock stands with you as well.
With red neck support Tubularsock, if he runs, will be the next President of the United States. Thank you and be sure to send your campaign contributions in small but a lot of unmarked bills to TubePact, Washington D.C.
And remember: “the time is now motherfuckers!”
Either Tubularsock is elected President, if he runs, or the terrorists WIN! Do you want that to happen?
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We the rednecks of Redneck, Arizona say “NO!” to terroristas and “YES!” to Tubularsock,
We don’t like the terroristas, they’re icky.
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Press release: Tubularsock says YES to Tubularsock as well and no to terrorists! Therefore if Tubularsock accepts the nomination of the Groundswell Party and does run for President he will look backward as well as forward and side to side as well. Terrorists will be tried in the courts and Tubularsock just happens to have a list. Because we all know that terrorism begins at home! Thank you rednecks of Redneck, Arizona.
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Many of us hillbillies from the southern states do indeed back Tubularsock for president of these dirty states of Amurderer come 2016! Clean this shit up Tubularsock!
Also onboard in wishing you a speedy journey straight inside the Oval Office are the Midwesterners thanks to this intrepid wanderer who just can’t stay put. So, Tubularsock, I can promise you the votes from the hillbilly south and from the mild Midwesterners! All you need is to get the west coast, onboard and that should be easy for you, Mr. Oakland Cali himself. So, I see no reason why we can’t get this campaign rolling.
I volunteer to write up all the catchy phrases for your campaign and all jingles and I am also available to put to bed any outrageous and unmerited accusations and aspersions cast upon your character by your detractors. I will make sure that your reputation remains, untarnished or unblemished, if you will. I will make it so that you look more ‘virginal’ than even one Vestal Virgin. Now, you can’t ask for more than that.
Shelby, at your service, Mr. President! Because “The time is now motherfuckers!” ROTFLMAO!!!!!
I fucking love it!
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Press release: A major boost to Tubularsock’s exploratory committee for the feasibility of a run for the White House occurred with the announcement by a Midwestern political operative that may just seal the deal with the Groundswell Party and put Tubularsock in the running. To date there has been movement from rednecks and now with hillbillies and Mild Midwesterners the path to the White House may be closer than one thinks.
Tubularsock has stated that “at this nano-second” a Presidential run can not be announced.
In real borning news Mit Romney has indicated that he may run for President and Jeb Bush is thinking about it as well.
……….
Shelby, Tubularsock may need your help to create an unblemished self. Karl Rove only is good at blemishing others and Tubularsock is already very good at that!
Thanks for comment!
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You need to be careful mocking Republicans with their heads up their asses, as this is a recognized disability on the autistic spectrum.They are born this way.
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Thank you for the “heads-up” sort of speak, DrB. Tubularsock will turn this possible issue over to his unblemish-er. She handles all these issues. Perhaps by taking an autistic child to lunch with a huge press coverage.
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Speaking on behalf of a large block … well, it should be large anyway … of disgruntled Ohio Valley voters, we are almost officially behind Tubularsock a thousand percent! Possibly even more — the excitement is palpable here — at least it will be once it’s above freezing again. I can’t remember such a stir in this area since Jerry Springer was paying hookers with bad checks. This is definitely the time for a real alternative to the same old shit! Onward to victory! – Linda
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Press release:
Word has just come across the wires that Tubularsock has taken a significant advance in the disgruntled Ohio Valley. A should be large block as reported by our source in the heart of the disgruntled Ohio Valley and an almost officially 1000% endorsement has been reported.
With this much clarity it appears to be a landslide victory for the backing of Tubularsock in 2016. The excitement of support has even dwarfed the Jerry Springer scandal in part because Tubularsock is a real alternative from the same old shit and always pays in cash.
“The time is now motherfuckers!” rang out in the disgruntled Ohio Valley.
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President? Screw that! I say we elect you Emperor and Oligarch Supreme of the Known Universe!
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Press release:
A source, who was not authorized to speak on this subject, did speak on this subject and reported that in a shopping district in NYC today a person that may have been Tubularsock was busy trying on ornate well tailored uniforms at Kings Apparel and Oligarch Outerwear on the Upper-East-Side.
Attempts to contact Tubularsock or his minions for confirmation of this sighting were not successful.
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LMAO!!
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Pwr 2 PRESIDENT TUBULARSOCK!
GUILOTINE KILLARY & JEBBIE!
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Press release:
The fact that no one to date has announced their candidacy for President in 2016 hasn’t prevented the radical fringe from stating their preference early. The radical fringe has called for the head removal of both Clinton and Bush and a strong rally around Tubularsock. This reporter was able to reach Tubularsock at a fundraiser while he was assisting wealthy old seniors to their banks.
“Tubularsock, Tubularsock! What do you say to your radical fringe who say they want Clinton’s and Bush’s heads?”
“Let me say this about that. In our great God fearing nation, we as a people have always loved the red, white and blue. So much so that we incorporated those colors within our great freedom loving nation’s flag.”
“Yes, yes but the allegations sir”
“Ever since 9/11 Americans of all types have stood shoulder to shoulder against terrorism. And we all agree that the terrorists won’t win!”
“Sir the allegations.”
“You will hear Tubularsock say time and again that the war on terror begins at home. And ISIS may have some types of actions that may prove handy for my run to the White House. Thank you.
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My Goddess Tube, you are really starting to sound like a politician — at this juncture I am withholding making a decision on if that is a good thing or a bad thing! 🙂
Goddess bless Tubularsock, and Goddess bless uh-merikkka!
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Press release:
There are rumors abound this afternoon that there are signs in the early stages of the Tubularsock bid for the Presidential run in 2016 that some are not sure if Tubularsock is the change they are looking for due to his actions.
“He sounds like just another politician, if you ask me.” stated a random passerby at the Baby and Cute Puppy Show here in Del Rio, Texas.
Tubularsock had just finished his four hour and fifty minute speech on the Importance of Being Earnest when this reporter was able to have an impromptu but short interview with the possible candidate as he moved to his awaiting helicopter.
“Mr. Tubularsock, some are saying you are sounding to much like just another politician and not …….
“Now just hold on one minute Walter! The truth is that I, Tubularsock, is not that of which you speak and these are just the unfounded flailing of my opposition.”
“But sir, the …..
“Poppycock! Walter, if Tubularsock didn’t have to fly off to the Cow Milking Contest in Madison, WI we could discuss this until the cows come home but not at this time. With terrorists at our doors creating divisiveness in the underpinnings of the Tubularsock’s campaign is not helpful in protecting our women and children and these adorable little puppies of this great land of ours!”
“Sir what do you say to the Goddess Movement who are attempting to usurp our male God for their lessor female deity?”
“Tubularsock’s position is very clear on this issue if you read position paper #666. Tubularsock is not going have anything more to say on this issue at this time. The udders of Wisconsin await!”
As the VH-3Ds helicopter lifted off you could hear cheers for the crowd possibly a sign that Tubularsock still has the hearts and minds of the people.
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I have heard of this ‘position paper 666’ and am now wholly behind Tubularsock for President in 2016!
Pwr 2 TUBULARSOCK and his peons!
GUILLOTINE OUR ELECTED TERRORISTS!
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Press release:
A surprise up-turn has taken place this evening that appears to have thrown support for Tubularsock for President into the upper single digit range.
A source close to Tubularsock that was not authorized to speak on this issue blabbed that Tubularsock was in the middle of a late night dope and drink extravaganza! Because of the nature of the information this reporter was unable to confirm the source’s information. This reported can confirm that there is late night burning of the oil in the bunker. Stay tuned.
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🙂 😀 You have a marvelous sense of humor Tube!
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Thank you wolfess.
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I’ve always thought you should run for president. In exchange for my support, should you win, I want the ambassadorship to Jamaica.
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Thank you Mike for your almost support ……. What is this “should you win” viewpoint? Tubularsock has to date secured the rednecks, Southern hillbillies, mild Midwesterners, and an almost officially 1000% endorsement of the disgruntled Ohio Valley! Tubularsock believes we are looking at a landslide victory into the White House and you Mike state, “should you win”?
Now Mike both you and Tubularsock know that an ambassadorship requires that one needs to know the language and culture of the country that they are assigned as well a keen understanding of the historical foreign policy positioning of that country in relationship to the geopolitical positioning of that country on the global spectrum. OR if you lack all of that a huge political contribution to the Tubularsock Presidential Campaign.
That being said ……. Tubularsock suggests a lot of small unmarked bills in a brown sack will suffice as a down payment.
“The time is now motherfuckers!” TUBULARSOCK FOR PRESIDENT 2016
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