Posts Tagged ‘Kim Kardashian’

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TUBULARSOCK SEES CLEARLY ……..

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Tubularsock has always wondered how it would be to live in a country which had an educated and informed electorate but Tubularsock has come to the conclusion that the possibility of that will NEVER come to pass ….. EVER.

Not in the United States of America …… that is a given.

In former-times the learned had to read from parchment texts by candlelight and write with a pointed feather. In even earlier times they “wrote” on the walls of caves. And “In the beginning” they “wrote” on stone tablets using a chisel and hammer but in truth you’d have to be stoned to believe “those” stories.

Our society has the ability to be informed IN DETAIL and in REAL TIME to information 24/7. And information is just pouring out of every electronic orifice we have in our pockets, on our desks, in our cars, on our laps BUT the populous knows less now than they ever have in the history of our nation.

Why is that? No really ……… we can Twitter and Blather, we can Facebook and Flickr, we can Pinit and Postit, we can Linkedin and Pinterest and if all else fails we can Google Plus. You’d think we’d know something, right? WRONG!

Now, not that EVERYTHING is pointless in our “information age” it is all backwards and you have to know how to read it. Here is a clue. By the time “Madison Avenue” has come up with the proper catchall phrase or jingle for an experience it is too late. So even the term “information age” isn’t informational but the opposite, just like “democracy” isn’t, or “precision targeting” isn’t, or “humanitarian war” isn’t!

And take note, the catchall phrase or jingle LEADS the experience. THAT is what “Madison Avenue” was created to do and is still doing but not under that archaic title.

Now it’s called psych-ops. See how that works?

Thought control has been in operation for so long that it now appears to not exist. Even the government, religious and academic institutions BELIEVE their own crap! And leaders lead from their own concoctions of their own crap ………… the witches brew has taken root!

So just sit back, eat another organic pretzel. Have another cup of chai tea and ruminate on the true meaning of this:

About five days ago the New York Daily News reported that they had talked with the “esteemed forensic linguist Professor Rob Leonard, who gives expert testimony about language and writing in murder trials” and had him analyze THE RECENT TWEETS OF KIM KARDASHIAN to determine if it was she who had written them.

Yes, you see Kim posted a “nude selfie” (no, that isn’t the newsy part) and there was a flurry of criticism of her which led her tweeting a series of “humorous” tweets bashing Bette Midler, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Piers Morgan.

Now, Tubularsock hopes you are following this …….

Many didn’t believe that Kim was “behind” those tweets and she responded, “Wait I can’t believe people thought Kanye or Khole hacked my Twitter. I swear I’m funny too!!!”

Well Tubularsock does have to mention here for clarification that, Kim IS “funny too” and that’s an understatement. Just in case you had become lost in this drama not to have notice it yourself.

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The good Professor pointed out after extensive review of all the Tweets that the term “hey” is often used by Kanye but NOT by Kim, the hashtags were all in lowercase letters but Kim usually uses ALL CAPS or Caps The First Letter Of Every Word while Kanye uses ALL CAPS, no caps, or just the first word capped. And finally “Twitter” is always spelled “twitter” by Kim but always capitalized by Kanye.

So the verdict is …….. the envelope please ………. Kanye hacked Kim’s TWITTER and made the “funny” bashing comments!

So this is what the “information age” has become and WE ARE ALL collateral damage!

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The Story Behind the story that is behind that story.

So here is THAT story:

Today Tubularsock, it has been reported in the Washington Toast, resigned from all his positions in management and supervisory boards of companies and foundations. It is assumed by this reporter that Tubularsock has taken this step in order to position himself so as to avoid conflicts of interest for high political office.

Though Tubularsock has said publicly that he has no intentions of running for President this nano-second, rumors have been spread by TubePact that he would consider running but not as a fucking-corporate-ass-licking Democrat or a head-up-their-ass Republican.

Rumor has it, from a source this reporter trusts as much as himself, that Tubularsock has been asked by the

Groundswell Party to carry the banner of victory all the way to the Oval Office on Pennsylvania Avenue!

This is a late breaking story so new information will be disclosed in the future as this story progresses.

In the meantime my we suggest getting your update from Tabloids. They also seem to know shit before it happens as well.

Daily Snooze..Morning edition

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TUBE ON DIPLOMACY

 

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You know Tubularsock has been thinking about ISIS because Tubularsock doesn’t know what action is the patriotic thing to do.

Too much thinking CAN spoil the broth.

ISIS on the one hand is the evil of all evils. Or is that Dick Cheney? God! I get them so confused. ISIS on the other hand is the creation of the US, UK, and Israeli intelligence apparatus or at least that is what has been revealed by the leaked NSA documents by Edward Snowden. (Thanks Ed.)

The US, UK, and Israeli intelligence apparatus created a strategy known as the hornet’s nest in order to attract the fundamentalists from around the world to Syria to overthrow Assad’s Government.

Now does Tubularsock support ISIS because America created them or does Tubularsock not support ISIS because they are the most evil of evils, except for Dick Cheney? What would a real patriot do?

You see the U.S. wants a U.S.-friendly government in Syria. You know like a puppet government that would not cooperate with Iran and block the oil pipeline that is being built. If the Assad government had gone along with the U.S. and did their bidding then Syria would be classified as a wonderful world government. You know like Israel, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Kuwait all with police state governments. But that works for the United States much like the newly American created neo-nazi government now in the Ukraine.

The United States support of oppressive governments is done because it’s GOOD FOR BUSINESS but the mantra has always been that we are doing this to BRING DEMOCRACY to the people.

You guessed it ……. the mantra, in truth, goes like this:

BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT …

Try it …………… no, aloud. It’s got great rhythm like most truth does. 

Now anyone who is just this side of mental retardation knows all this already. But Tubularsock likes to keep his eye on the prize and that is that repetition keeps the facts from falling down that sucking rabbit hole. You see once the news cycle spins the bull shit to scare you then they move on and funny thing ……. they don’t review. Especially when the “new facts” show that the stories being pushed are FALSE. It’s called propaganda.

Which brings Tubularsock to this, that may have been skipped over by the maimed-streamed-media. A document released by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden revealed that Ibrahim al­ Samarrai AKA Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, the man who leads ISIS, is an intelligence asset. Well imagine that!

An Intelligence Asset? You know, a CIA patsy. And he is the guy that is leading this evil of all evil (besides Dick Cheney) military operation.

Funny story, Abu Bakr al­ Baghdadi was radicalized by the 2003 invasion of Iraq and was captured in 2005 and spent four years in the United States’ Camp Bucca where he was constantly humiliated by the American forces much like the torture and humiliation conducted at Abu Ghraib Prison.

So here we have exactly why attacking and bombing isn’t effective. By doing it it only creates more terrorists and humiliation is a very powerful factor in solidifying resolve.

It has been reported that ISIS has grown in number by over 6000 since the beginning of this American bombing escapade. Now exactly what is it about the reality that bombing and drones create MORE terrorists that the Western mind doesn’t seem to understand?

It was reported around September 8th that Abu Bakr al­ Baghdadi had been killed by the American bombing but it still hasn’t been officially confirmed. But even if this is true Tubularsock hopes we don’t have to go through that same silly game that we did with Osama bin Laden’s death —— do you recall, he was reported “confirmed-dead”  seven times! And now that he is reported at the bottom of the sea we still can’t say for sure that he isn’t hiding out in Geneva, Switzerland.

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And did “killing” bin Laden even matter to al Qaeda? Nope!

And if true, will Abu Bakr al­ Baghdadi death matter to ISIS? Nope!

And if someone on Halloween reaches into Dick Cheney’s chest cavity and rips out his previously-owned heart and eats it ……… will that end evil? Well, Tubularsock thinks it may be a good start!

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NEW OLD NEWS: Deja vu ?

Well Tubularsock was sitting in his top floor corner office in the underground bunker overlooking Washington, D. C. from Oakland, CA. and it’s Deja vu all over again.

Remember in the Matrix when Neal sees a black cat twice and says, Deja vu ? And everybody freaks because that is a sign that there’s a change in the matrix. Which means that they have been detected while on a mission.

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Or remember the magician who does slight-of-hand right in front of you but he’s able to divert your attention so he can trick you? Time and again, and again and …….

It appears to Tubularsock that all the news around the world is all playing back old programs and attempting to convince us that it’s new.

Now would you people with cable TV with 6,0304 channels put up with reruns of all last years and previous years shows being played over again. (no, hold it ….. Tubularsock knows you would because you already do ……. but there’s more.)

And on top of that sell you the idea that it’s all new programing. And because of that the cable rates are going to go up 50%.

Well, that’s what we got here folks ………….. illusion

Israel is bombing Palestine AGAIN and Palestine is sending these ratty-ass “missiles”

back at Israel. As well as their regular supply of rocks.

Tubularsock thinks it’s time to sell some dependable missiles to Palestine. The crap they are trying to attack Israel with is shit. Who is providing them with weapons? The United States sells weapons to anybody. Why not Palestine? Their money’s good. Right?

Business is business, come on capitalists, where is that “free market” spirit?

And then there’s Tubularsock’s good friends at ISIS. Allah be tazed.

Palestine could hook up with them because now ISIS can provide Palestine with American missiles, trucks, helicopters, tanks, planes, and even 90 lbs. of raw nuclear stuff.

Now don’t worry, the officials who know nuclear stuff say, “There is nothing to be alarmed about a group of highly armed-psychopathic-homicidal-maniacs with a 13 century vision acquiring this raw-nuke-shit.” 

Aren’t we so lucky …….. wow, and for a minute Tubularsock started to worry.

And then all the fucking immigrant children that are flooding our boarders. You know those boarders that we have put fences up, check points, Boarder Patrols those boarders! And Homeland Security hasn’t scanned any of these children upon entry because they aren’t cooperating like terrorist do and come in through airports! Shit!

Now what is that all about?

Why are the immigrant children picking on us? Why don’t they just go back to their dictatorships that the United States set up for them. Ungracious foreigners!

No, what is happening is just regular TV programming. It is more economical for the major maimed-stream-media to re-run old news than to send out reporters to gather new news. Really, you can see that can’t you?

And it is so American! 

The citizens of the United States sit by as the Government and corporate interests take their houses, send their children off to endless wars, renege on their retirement, close down their public libraries, schools, parks and replace them with for profit zones, replace their jobs, break up their unions and spy on each and everyone of them. Yet those citizen just can’t get up from their 60” Plasma televisions and go to the streets to protest any of that.

BUT they can grab their American flags and paint signs and go out into the heat to tell children to go back to where they come from and act like they are taking charge of their empty white-ass lives. FUCKING PATHETIC!

And to top this all off the Kim Kardashian Video Game is “on track to earn $200 million!”

Now Kim’s game is called Kim Kardashian: Hollywood !

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Is that just fucking awesome or what? And the entire point of the game ……. wait for it,

is to get your avatar to recharge itself with enough energy to attend all the photo shoots and club openings necessary to journey from the E-list to the A-list. 

Now isn’t that just what everyone really wants to do with their lives ……….. go from the E-list to the A-list in Hollywood?

Now the game itself is a FREE download so where does Kim get her 45% of the net profits of the $200 million sales?

Well, the game is free but to upgrade your avatar power position so you can get yourself to the Hollywood A-list quicker you have to pony-up nearly $500! AND HERE’S WHERE STUPID COMES IN ……….. thousands of people are willing to do this.

Dumb fucks is too weak of a term to describe these dumb fucks!

And some people always seem to wonder, “How does the government and corporate interests seem to get away with what they do without any negative consequences being imposed on them.”

Deja vu, ASK KIM. 

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BLAME THE TEACHER!

Granted that Tubularsock has been distracted by Jay Z cheating rumors being denied by reality star Casey Cohen. She says they ‘Have Never Been Intimate’! Well, rest assured that Jay Z and Tubularsock have “never been intimate” either. Feel better?

And then just getting Kimye married off to Kanye was enough to put Tubularsock over the edge. What with trying to arrange baby North West in the proper position so not to cry or poop during the ceremony.

It’s great to start off in married land with a head start in family planning.

And with that fabulous Givenchy Haute Couture white gown you’d almost mistake Kim for a virgin. But you’d quickly realize that you have been deceived when the his-and-hers leather jackets came out. You could tell neither were virgins!

Now Kimye is on her third husband and the bets are already down that West will be her third divorce. Wow, Tubularsock can never rest with this news.

It seems that the odds are high enough to put money on it!

Supposedly, 73 percent of people who have been divorced twice already also see their third marriage end in divorce. What’s more, people who have a family member who has been divorced are 75 percent more likely to get a divorce than those who don’t. And for Kimye her mother is ending #2 and her sister is in the process of getting a divorce from #1. 

Just how can Tubularsock process all this and still have time to come up with this thought provoking question?:***

Have you ever thought why American teachers are being evaluated and held responsible for their students testing scores as an indicator of the teachers competence?

While the corporation (DynCorp) that trained all those Iraq police and military in Mosul who ended up running away from the ISIS fundamentalists and even throwing off their guns and stripping off their uniforms as they ran are not taken to task for spending billions of dollars and FAILING to train those police and military?

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Have you heard Obummer or even one Congress member suggest that DynCorp be even evaluated for their poor performance? Has anyone ask for our money back. Has anyone stated that we won’t hire DynCorp again?

And yet a teacher is criticized for poor performance if the students don’t pass a test!

Yes, this is an essay question and Tubularsock expects all work to be handed in post-haste.

*** answer to above ….. multi-tasking WITH A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN!

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Tubularsock was out of his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA. for several days due to an intense family emergency. It was worse than having to eat dinner with the Cheney’s. It was hell personified and Tubularsock doesn’t even believe in the hell concept but it is the best descriptive for a quick picture.

Happily all’s good now and I’m back in the bunker viewing the collective mess that we live in and feel good that nothing has changed for the better which is rather comforting.

You know, the shit you live in in the collective culture is shit we’re familiar with and just like any abusive relationship it’s still home. Yes, we’re sick mother-fuckers!

So while Tubularsock was focused elsewhere he missed:

 The State of the Union Address..

 

 The flair-up Kanye West created in his quest to get Kim Kardashian on the Vogue Cover.

 

 Some football game with a lot of custom ads.

 

 Brig. Gen. Hossein Salami, a top commander of Iran’s Revolutionary Guards boasting that Iran “ . . . have targets within America.” But so does Tubularsock! 

 

The Justin Bieber’s DUI. 

 

And the State Department’s release of the XL Keystone Pipeline environmental report written by the oil industry for the occasion.

Wow. Turn your back for just a minute and the shit just keeps hitting the fan!

So where does Tubularsock start?

Where-else Justin ………….

MSNBC was in the middle of an interview with Congresswoman Jane Harman about the NSA  spying scandal when they interrupted that interview to bring forth a BREAKING NEWS story.

And what was that BREAKING NEWS?

The judge was reading the charges against Justin Bieber at THAT MOMENT!

Really, need Tubularsock say more about this crap?

Sure.

There was also a big discussion about Justin having zits that showed up on his mug-shots. It appears that the cops don’t air-brush out blemishes. What a travesty.

How is Tubularsock going to handle that a 19 year old boy who drives a yellow Lamborghini has zits?

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And not to overplay this cathartic bull-shit but the White House had to pay attention to the incident because of enough people had signed an on-line petition demanding that Justin be DEPORTED back to Canada for being a “bad influence on American youth”. Like a border make’s a difference.

It seems that the White House has a page that citizens can present grievances and if the numbers are great enough then the White House will take some type of action.

Well, bottom line …….. a DUI just doesn’t rank high enough in the pantheon of crimes to warrant deportation. Zits, however …….. you may have a case!

Then the State of The Union Address. 

Gag Tubularsock with a spoon. The bull shit was stacked so high that even Joe Biden couldn’t add to it with his inept personal deficiencies.

I don’t know about you but Tubularsock just has trouble listening to abstract when I’m stepping over the homeless on the streets whenever I go out. Now granted, riding a bicycle puts me more in tune with the direct environment than say riding around in your SUV with the music on and the tinted windows but even you have to get out to buy your food.

At times Tubularsock thinks he’s in India as he criss-crosses a human sea of men and women with card-board signs asking for help.

And to have Obummer say that women aren’t getting paid as much as men for the same work ………. well no shit Dick Tracy.

“Let’s make this a year of action,” Obummer says. Sure. What has changed from last year?

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Well according to Bummer’s intro, A teacher has helped her student, AN entrepreneur does her part to create 8 million jobs, An auto worker fine tuned some of the most fuel efficient cars in the world to do his part to help America to WEAN ITSELF OFF FOREIGN OIL. And on and on until we come to the military families who tuck their children in bed and remember fallen comrades BUT NOT REMEMBER ALL THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN THEY WASTED AS THEY MURDERED THEIR WAY THROUGH IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN.

And all the while the camera flashes over the dumb shit that can’t clap but beats his chest with his hand instead because he’s the poster-boy of the deformed and maimed “military-hero” who still doesn’t get it. Nor does his stupid bloated father standing next to him. He may be even more of a fucking dumb shit than his son!

When will they wake up? What a price to pay to be cannon fodder. You get the President to point out what a hero you are for getting yourself blown to shit and then forgotten when the lights go out and the cameras are put away.

A State of the Union Circus would not be complete without a freak show so they propped up Cory Remsberg the current military excuse of a hero and the Congress that sent him and so many to die and become crippled all applauded and thereby absolved their collective guilt.

What a sad commentary on the nation.

And it is that propagandistic bull-shit that is continually pushed and as long as everyone focuses on the sacrificial, emotional horse shit ol’ Cory will be rolled around as an example and Cory says he still wants to serve his country.

Well, Cory ……… you are still severing the ends of the war profiteers. The fact that you and your father are both fucking brain dead helps push the war agenda. Congratulations.

But without a chance to rest your mind let Tubularsock deal with the flair-up Kanye West created in his quest to get Kim Kardashian on the Vogue Cover.

Kanye for some reason is not the brightest crayon in the box. Recently he has punched a couple of guys for comments they have made to him. One was in a chiropractor’s office of all places.

It seems guys say shit to Kanye, then he punches them, then they sue him, and then they collect an out of court settlement of $125,000.00.

Sound like a plan? Tubularsock is working on his retirement program. Where does Kanye hang out?

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Well the hip-hop artist allegedly confronted Vogue’s chief editor Anna Wintour at the Beverly Hills Polo Lounge, and got right up in her face over the issue of Kim not being placed on the current cover of Vogue.

Because Anna is a personal friend he can’t see why she isn’t willing to do him this personal favor and put Kim on the cover.

In truth, Tubularsock can’t figure out why Anna won’t put Tubularsock on the cover of Vogue. It just seem like the right thing to do.

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Now who would believe a guy named Salami? It sounds like baloney to Tubularsock. And all this Iran’s Revolutionary Guards shit. Remember how Saddam Insane’s Revolutionary Guards were this huge danger to our troops before our invasion of Iraq?

TARGET AMERICA!

The mass media played that wild card and pumped up everyone until when we invaded they weren’t even there. Another crack intelligence failure. OR a sly propaganda ploy by  American for Americans.

Pretty much all Tubularsock can recommend to assist Iran with suggested targets within the United States is to call 1-800-al-Qaeda and leave a message.

Ah, yes. That football game with the custom ads. The least said the better. I was hoping that Iran would have taken that out but alas Tubularsock can’t have every new years resolution come true.

And while no one was looking including the State Department the environmental impact report produced by the oil industries was rubbered stamped out by the State Department and in general the conclusion ……… what impact?

The fact that the XL pipeline crosses over 1700 bodies of fresh water, ahh ……. just what could go wrong. And the argument goes like this ……… it would be more dangerous to transport this shit oil by train so leaky pipelines that will be thoroughly inspected maybe once (if they can spare the time) will be way safer.

Well the unions want it because they’ll get almost 2000 new jobs for ten minutes and then years of catastrophic leak repair which the pipeline owners will have only limited liability before the federal and state governments put up the bucks.

EVERY oil leak in the current pipeline coming out of Canada that has leaked has caused irreparable damage to the environmental balance of the areas involved that can not be corrected for a hundred years. Now who has that kind of time?

And yet you’ll see Obummer sign off on this XL pipeline ……… why? Oh come now. Haven’t you noticed yet?

Barack Obama is the first black president in white-face and as long as the-slave-boy keeps up the “good-nigger” role the white power structure will let him play golf with them.

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Yes’em massa!

Come on everyone …………. let’s sing the blues.

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