TUBULARSOCK SAYS: SERIOUSLY?

Posted: February 18, 2015 in Afghanistan, economics, SYRIA, Yemen
Tags: , , ,

Tube heading slingshot

 

Tube Such a Deal

 

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Comments
  1. donzo442 says:

    Clean one owner?

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Don, of course! It was only driven by a grandmother to deliver AK-47’s to her grand children. She has provided all the service records and she never drove it over 25 mph. Sweet deal! Can get you a great price. Let Tubularsock know, this deal is too “HOT” to last long!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You bought it from Halliburton, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sojourner says:

    Does it come with a warranty?

    Like

  4. ROTLMAO!!! You should be ashamed!! I come here expecting to find a bright, shiny, brand spanking new red Ford to drive around and instead, I see THAT!!! You are right, it comes with a WARranty alright. That thing has seen more war action than Iraq. Oh wait! It’s seen much war action IN Iraq! My bad! I wasn’t thinking straight for a minute. I’m still trying to concentrate on your capitalism course for socialists. LMAO!! You’ve got just too many irons in the fire, how you keep up, I’ll never know!!

    But keep out on the lookout for me another vehicle, wouldya? But I can’t do a thing with THAT! LOL!

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Shelby, come now! Ashamed? What with all your capitalistic knowledge you’ve become part of the 1% or what?
      This is a previously owned vehicle. And sure it needs a little paint and a headlight or two but other than that it’s as good as new.

      You may want to jump on this deal because sojourner is thinking about making an offer.

      Like

      • LMAO! I’m outta the running! Tell Sojourner, it’s his! And the auctioneer says, “Sold to Sojourner! Come claim yer bargain!” LOL!!

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Shelby, Shelby, Shelby ……….. you are passing up a vehicle that is already wrecked so you don’t have to wreck it yourself? Tubularsock is thinking ONLY of your safety. Tubularsock may be able to talk sojourner out of the deal if you will pay just a little bit more for this fine safety device.

        Like

  5. sojourner says:

    I thought my ears were burning. I’m going to have to back out, my parents finally bought me the pony I always wanted. This little horse better have a strong back, is all I can say. So let Shelby have this fine machine!;-)

    No wait, my parents are deceased. Oh crap, it was my tumor again! No pony!

    Ill get back to you on this fine machine soon! NOT!!!

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      sojourner, Tubularsock was surprised but tell you what I can do for you. Tubularsock will throw in that pony for the same price.

      A nice previously owned truck with some signs of wear and a solid-ish WARranty and a brand new shiny phony. (sorry, meant pony.)

      Now Tubularsock doesn’t like to deal with family but I asked my dead parents to talk with your deceased parents and see if some other worldly advice would be helpful.

      It wasn’t. They sure are an opinionated bunch!

      But if you really want to back out of our iron-clad contract there is that loop-hole that states, “if a female buyer that is looking to buy a wrecked vehicle so she doesn’t have to wreck it herself steps up and buys it then it’s all good”.

      Wow, Tubularsock wonders where you could find someone like that.

      Like

  6. sojourner says:

    First, you would know if it was my deceased father, because he would of told your deceased parents to ask you if his not yet deceased “Fat-ass, lazy son had a job yet!” If there was no message like this, then I think your parents were talking to an impostor! There are many deceased men who would like to be my father, or at least I think so?

    The ‘iron-clad’ phony, oops, I mean ‘iron-clad’ pony deal sounds tempting, but I’ll have to sleep on it. ‘Iron-clad”, huh?

    And on the last portion of your message:

    You’re not getting me in trouble, so where would I find a woman like the one you described above? Uh, I ain’t no dummy! Well, I’m not much of a dummy! I have some smarts! Forget it, I’m a dumb-ass!

    Like

    • On second thought, I might have to ‘think’ this over because I’ll eventually need a vehicle,(mine having been totaled sorta like this one here. But since they’ve long since hauled mine off and this one appears to be available, I’ll consider it seeing as how it’s already been wrecked and lightning, I mean wrecks never strike the same vehicle twice. LMAO!!! Of course, since my pockets are to let, I ain’t got much spending money, so this is going to have to be one really, really sweet deal for me!

      Can I get the hook up? Uh..on this wreck I mean, uh..this hardly damaged vehicle and haul it to my neck of the woods? With a couple of wheels and a new steering wheel, I am sure it’ll pass inspection and be road ready in a few days. I am ever the optimistic one! LMAO!!!

      Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Yes, Shelby! It is a known scientific fact that lighting does not EVER strike a broken-down pile of junk great slightly used truck. And yes, Tubularsock will ship it as soon as possible.

        And because of who YOU are (aka VIP at the Tubularsock Dealership) YOU can have this truck with NO MONEY down and a HUGE fair interest rate. Congratulations!

        Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Well Tubularsock knows little about our deceased parents conversation. The connection was weak because COM-CAST hasn’t completed the cable service so pretty much what I discovered was through my psychic-reader and her connection increases with a high cash flow into her hand much like COM-CAST. Being that Tubularsock is short on funds due to weak sales in the auto sales business Tubularsock has been unable to get a clear signal. Sorry.

      It appears a female has stepped forward as per pervious description so you are free and clear of our iron-clad contract.

      Tubularsock does have a slightly used pony for sale however ……. You can’t sleep on it because the pony doesn’t come with night-running lights.

      Like

  7. sojourner says:

    Tube, your expertise in capitalism is failing you! Everything is getting fuzzy, I feel lightheaded, etc

    Well, how about it, can Shelby get a hook up?

    Like

  8. wolfess says:

    Ahhhhh, this outstanding piece of road-ready vehicle looks like the one I had when I first moved to the city; I’ve got a few tires piled up in the corner of my front yard that I’m sure would fit this fine vehicle! And the bed of that truck would be perfect for hauling away all the garbage that is stored in the front yard and garage; and I could paint it periwinkle to match the railing on my front porch! If Shelby and Sojourner are no longer interested I definitely AM b/c if I can’t actually get it to run I can always just park on my lawn and pretend it’s a lawn ornament!!!!

    Like

    • LOL!!! Wolfess, I’ve changed my mind AGAIN! This really nice, well set up hunk of junk can be yours IF ‘the price is right!” LMAO!!

      Somebody heard that I was too broke to buy it and they delivered a bicycle to my door. So, as soon as I’m able, I’ll be pedaling. So, this good looking, great deal is ALL yours! Congratulations are in order! Whew! I dodged a ‘bullet’ or would that be a ‘missile’? ROTFLMAO!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • wolfess says:

        You are such a kind friend Shelby — stepping out of the way so I can have this ‘hunk of junk’, er, outstanding vehicle! And I think you are right in believing you ‘dodged a missile’ but if you’re ever in need of a fine, clean, used missile I’ll be glad to share mine with you as I’m sure I have more than a couple on my front lawn! 😀
        Concerning that bicycle — you have such wonderful friends that are willing to donate some wheels to you so you don’t have to ride the bus … sometime when I am a whole lot drunker than I am tonight I will have to tell you about my experiences riding the city bus; suffice it to say that I would have been THRILLED, thrilled I tell you, to be given a bike to ride!

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Shelby: This is to inform you that a peddler from the Tubularsock Institute of Fine Products will be calling on you in the near future to help you with all your bicycle needs. Lights & helmets made in China and chain oil from Saudi Arabia. And even a bike pump from Istanbul! Tubularsock Institute of Fine Products has ALL your biking needs. Sure there’s credit! See you soon.

        Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Finally ……… someone with vision! Thank you so much wolfess. It just so happens that this previously owned vehicle is back on the market. And it sounds like your front yard with all its garbage could be handy to put the finishing touches on this fine piece of junktruck/art installation. And periwinkle is just the perfect color too!

      Tubularsock knows for a fact that both Shelby and sojourner will regret their lack of foresight but a Tubularsock sales representative will be calling on them soon for other great one of a kind offers.

      Liked by 1 person

      • wolfess says:

        Please contact me about the cost to take possession of this outstanding lawn ornament!!!! I had such trouble sleeping last night b/c I was so excited about the possibility of being within striking distance of owning your outstanding truck/art piece, and as I’m sure you realize, women of my advanced age need their ‘beauty’ sleep so don’t keep me waiting much longer!

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        First wolfess, Tubularsock doesn’t believe in chronological age. So to Tubularsock you are still a chick. Second, beauty is ONLY inner the rest is illusionary, ask Revlon. And by the way, happy new year ……. the Chinese think they are 4,713 years old this year speaking of age.

        Now down to business. I have taken the liberty of putting your newish truck/installation in a regular letter size envelope and mailed it today.
        Tubularsock figures no one will notice even though the envelope did stick out of the mailbox a bit. But by sending it first class shipping was only 53 cents. I added a little more just in case the post office weighed it.

        Now just wait by your post box or P.O. Box in anticipation. Kind of like Christmas.
        And thank you for doing business with TUBULARSOCK INTERNATIONAL, LTD.

        Like

      • wolfess says:

        Goddess I love you Tube! As Sojourner so astutely noticed — this article has developed a life of its own! 😀

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Only goes to show you wolfess, you can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear after-all!
        And thank you for the help!

        Like

  9. sojourner says:

    Wow! Tubularsock, this whole thing you’ve created, here, has taken on a life of its own!

    Unfortunately, I’ll have to pass on the pony, since the ASPCA has evidently been monitoring my communiques, here and elsewhere, and have gotten the PETA folks involved. I think that rat-bastard, Obomber, turned me in. I received an email from PETA, today, warning me not place my fat-ass on a pony or even an elephant. I have since replied and assured them I will not purchase the pony from you. I also promised them I would donate my elephant to the local zoo.

    Oh, and just a heads up, you might be getting an email from both of these fine organizations. I tried to get them off of your trail, but they threatened to tie me up, make me listen to Obama speeches, and lastly, and worst of all, confiscate my two gold fish: God Damn It, Sam and Measure Twice, Cut Once! And I can’t lose them! I’m old and alone, and my fishies are all I got left.

    So I hope you understand!

    Hey, on a side note, I wonder how long we can keep this going? This sure is more fun than frothing at the mouth while blogging!

    Oh, and I almost forgot, Caption my Captain!

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      sojourner, Tubularsock has discovered that nonsense usually makes more sense than anything else. Especially in the illusion we as humans live in.
      Tubularsock understands about your threatened torture and totally gets the dilemma. Luckily Tubularsock is a shape-shifter so no worries.
      And the pony will still find a home but the elephant Tubularsock would recommend that you place him on your car as a hood ornament. That would throw them off.

      “. . . my fishies are all I got left”, dude at least they are gold! Keep the Federal Reserve away from them is all Tubularsock has to say about that!

      Now, Tubularsock does have to get back and finish his frothing …….

      Thanks for your comments brother, they are fun!

      Like

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