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RELIGIOUS FORNICATION AND BEYOND

Now today Tubularsock was in the process of cleaning his underground solar panels that provide off-grid power to Tubularsock’s top floor corner office of his underground bunker that overlooks Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA when Tubularsock started to think about sex.

Now it is almost a proven fact that when you are in the process of cleaning, your mind wonders off to thoughts of sex. No really, it’s kind of scientific.

And maybe just the monotony of cleaning reminds one of the monotony of the “missionary-position” of sexual intercourse. No really, it’s kind of scientific.

Now if Tubularsock just thought of the hedonist’s position toward sexual intercourse, a voluptuary thought indeed, then that could be satisfactory. But no, Tubularsock’s thoughts penetrate to a deeper level. That of the role that religion plays within the sexual formula. No really, it’s kind of scientific.

Now, I know many of you are going to say, “There goes Tubularsock and his prurient interests again”. But no, Tubularsock is ONLY doing this for YOUR prurient interests because if you have not stopped reading this yet then you are wondering, where in the fuck is Tubularsock going with this? And really, Tubularsock knows that you too are interested in Tubularsock’s almost scientific pontifications.

Well sex and religion go together as well as gonorrhea and syphilis so to speak.

Religions have always been interested in sex ….. in THOUGHT and in DEED. No stone is left unturned here.

Every religious organization (Church, Synagogue, Temple, Mosque) have lessons in sex usually for those who are getting married. And sometimes instruction in celibacy for teen groups.

So because the fundamentalist religions are so voicetress about their views on sexural behavior in our society, Tubularsock will start with them.

The fundamentalist religions don’t want ANY fun in sex. Sex is a duty to produce more fundamentalists for the “flock” so that it increases. Much like chickens but not because according to the fundamentalist religions having sex with chickens is “a sin”!

ABORTION  is “a sin” and against the WHITE MALE GOD LAW as well. But killing a child with a drone is fine because of “GOD’S WILL”.

And killing an entire village is a   “A JUST WAR”.

Having sex before marriage is “a sin” according to the WHITE MALE GOD and so is teaching young adults “how babies are created” because it may stimulate an interest in sex.

Showing how to prevent pregnancy is NOT ACCEPTABLE because it may increase sexual activities among young unmarried adults who are without knowledge or foresight statistically having unprotected sex like rabbits which is “a sin” as is having sex with rabbits!

Do you see a pattern here?

Yet, the brain dead which make up the bulk of the fundamentalist religions say way more bull shit than any truth but they just keep repeating this shit which actually should be “a sin” but isn’t!

And to top this all off there are some who feel that demonic spirits can be transferred to you during sex and/or sexual activity. And to others, like Tubularsock, who thinks that that must be some great sex!

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And then there are the Catholics.

Now the Catholics too want to be in control of the sexual activities of their followers and just about everything about sex is “a sin” including thinking about it!

The amazing thing here is that the teaching and direction of proper sexual behavior is directed by Priests or Nuns who have vowed NEVER to have sex and even worse never have had it!

Sex outside of marriage is “a sin” and can get you excommunicated but like many “sins” there are ways around that. Usually by money and prayer.

Once again the only sex that is considered acceptable is that which increases the “flock” and the more the merrier.

And the use of condoms are prohibited and is “a sin” because it prevents pregnancy which is the ONLY reason for sex and the logic goes that using a condom creates the possibility of sex for fun and pleasure ……. and we can’t have THAT!

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And once again ABORTION  is “a sin” and against the WHITE MALE GOD LAW. But killing a child with a drone is fine because of “GOD’S WILL”.

And killing an entire village is a “A JUST WAR”.

But the cool thing is Papal infallibility and that’s a neat little package that says when it comes to Church dogma the Pope in virtue of his supreme apostolic authority, (which is another way to say he was voted into Popehood) defines the doctrine concerning faith or morals to be held by the whole Church. Much like the buck starts here. And the Pope hasn’t had sex at all (in theory) so there you have it!

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The Mormons almost take the cake when it comes to religion but only because it’s a “modern” day religion formulated by Joseph Smith in the 1830’s. A little late compared to other religions.

Some believe that Mormonism is a cult but Tubularsock still hasn’t figured out where a religion and a cult part company. Oh well.

Mormonism is just an upgrade religion using the same basic Christian stories but those stories were formed from the Book of Mormon which Joe said he transcribed from “. . . a buried book made of golden plates”. The angel Moroni revealed their location to Joe and he dug them up and worked out the translation.

Be that as it may, it is clear that when it came to sex it was only good for creating more offspring for the flock like the aforementioned religions but with a twist. In order to do that task multiply wives were needed so early Mormons believed in the sanctity of polygamy.

Sex out of marriage is not permitted which may have accounted for the most common name for patrons of motel sex being Mr. & Mrs. Smith. A fact, Tubularsock will leave to your imagination.

But true to form with the rest of the Christian Religions Mormonism believes that ABORTION  is “a sin” and against the WHITE MALE GOD LAW. But killing a child with a drone is fine because of “GOD’S WILL”.

And killing an entire village is a “A JUST WAR”.

                                                                 

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Now Protestantism in general is any of those European religions that broke away from the Catholic Church back in the day. And the Protestants disagree among themselves over all the silly little rules they each came up with but they all agree that sex is “a sin” unless in marriage and ABORTION  is “a sin” and against the WHITE MALE GOD LAW. But killing a child with a drone is fine because of “GOD’S WILL”.

And killing an entire village is a “A JUST WAR”.

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Now Tubularsock doesn’t really care what one believes. And Tubularsock doesn’t even mind religious minded people spinning their belief mantras and through example showing others why one should join their “flock”. That is all well and good.

What Tubularsock sees as an abomination is ANY group attempting to DICTATE how things should be and attempting to force it on to everybody else.

Believe what you will, practice it but DON’T force it onto others!

Now how fucking simple is that?

The force is you, use it wisely.

sigtube

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Comments
  1. sojourner says:

    That’s it! Live and let live!

    This is my fault: “Tunnel of love…!” is responsible for this post, I just know it!

    Correctamundo, as the Fonz would have said. But you know who else spoils sex? Fundamentalist Darwinians, not in a dogmatic way, mind you, like the other religious, but in a lab-coat, pocket-protector, reading-glass way: sex is for procreation, sex is very mechanical, sex is for keeping the species alive and going, a male chooses the best partner for reproduction purposes, and NOT because she has beautiful eyes, full lips, nice hair, nice breasts and posterior, and killer calves and thighs!

    I Think I just gave myself a heart attack with that last description!

    You, however, by writing this, have narrowed your base by approximately half to two-thirds. I mean you have nailed a large portion of the population with this one, my Capitan! There are bible-thumpers a plenty out there, and they ain’t fond of this here kinda commie-type talk, you know!

    I know, I know, you want me to handle this, right? We need to talk about a raise!

    We will still have the west coast, Colorado, New England and parts of Wisconsin. Yes, there are a lot of atheists in Wisconsin! I guess they like cheese and freezing their arses off in the winter?

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Well sojourner you are incorrect. The Tunnel of love came after the writing of this post, BUT you are correct that I expect YOU to write a speech that will get Tubularsock out of that corner that he has painted himself into with the wacko fundamentalists!. Oh sure, there’s a raise for you, it’s the PAC’s fucking money ……. Shelby are you on the same page?

      Tubularsock finds it hard to believe that the Darwinians are not panting like you are over your “make-believe full-lipped goddess”! Forget the pocket-protector!

      We’ll always have the LEFT-coast, rocky mountain high Colorado, New England and parts of Wisconsin, ok at least Madison!

      Now cover the rest with your glowing words! That is way you are getting the big bucks!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. swo8 says:

    There now are you feeling better? :D, :D, :D,
    Leslie

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Leslie, thank you for your compassion. Yes, Tubularsock is feeling much better. It only takes a little Bible smacking as opposed to Bible thumping and Tubularsock gets centered again.

      Like

      • swo8 says:

        Well I agree that that Bible may need a smack or two, but more especially, those supposed expert interpreters. I think they may have it all wrong!
        Leslie

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Yes, Tubularsock agrees with you there. That is why Tubularsock is busy interpreting his very own golden tablets. But they are just so heavy to carry along with his laptop to the cafe.
        Thanks for your comment.

        Like

  3. Lisa says:

    The WHITE MALE GOD is mean.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I find myself wondering … what do we have here a sensible person, running for president? We’re not used to that. Next question — could a sensible person get the job? And if so could he or she stand it?

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Linda these are all sensible questions that you are asking. So let Tubularsock say this about that, Tubularsock is just going to take in the new Willie Nelson strain of marijuana that will be on the market in Colorado soon and by golly, Tubularsock could stand it!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. donzo442 says:

    So and according to the Book of Disputeronomy, God is a gigantic cosmic penis in search of a gigantic cosmic vagina. When God the gigantic cosmic penis eventually finds the divinely desired gigantic cosmic vagina, well and in keeping with oral and/or proto-typical religious tradition breath to be inserted here, God the gigantic cosmic penis will stick “his” head into the gigantic cosmic vagina and thus it shall ever be. Amen.

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Don, Tubularsock is sure that you have heard that “the HARDER they COME, the harder they fall”. When it comes to size, gigantic is no different.

      The cosmic vagina can always out last the cosmic penis except for Tubularsock but that all has to do with centering. Om.

      Liked by 1 person

      • sojourner says:

        I don’t know about this kind of self-promotion, my Capitan? You’ll offend the not quite so virile and long-sustaining males in your base, not to mention your speech writer! And we don’t want the women in your base fainting either!

        You are already a SEX GOD, a STUD OF ALL STUDS, so let’s not overplay our hand in this area!

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Well, speaking with Bill this morning might have affected Tubularsock a little bit more than was expected. Thanks for the advice but I know you can handle it with your forceful ahh, pen!

        Like

  6. In my view, organized religion is an essential institution in perpetuating patriarchal control of women’s bodies. For the most part the religious sex laws you describe seek to control women, whereas men are pretty much free to do as they please.

    Like

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