HOW TO SPEAK FOREIGN
Just how many Russians are YOU actually friends with? Syrians, Pakistanis, Germans, Iranians, Cubans?
EVEN Ohioans?
Not many, if you are an American, Tubularsock would guess. But so many people have an opinion about “Others”.
According to what “news” reports one reads, how much better or less of an understanding do you really have regarding people you have never met?
Same goes for religious groups, Jews, Muslim, Christian, Buddhists, Taoists. What do you really know about any of these religious groups? Really!
Most people don’t KNOW much about even their “own” religion let alone about someone else’s.
In most all these cases we all have “judgments” about other people and religions but we don’t really know much at all about them in truth.
Why is that?
Doesn’t that seem strange to you?
Our nation will go off and KILL these people but we don’t even know them.
What is that all about?
Let’s say you are walking down a street and you see an Ohioan walking toward you.
How do you prepare yourself for the approaching encounter?
Do you pretend you don’t see them and pass on by. Most likely the best idea.
But after reading this from Tubularsock you may “reach out” and engage in a conversation.
Well a sure bet is something like this: Hi, so the Ohio state reptile is the black racer.
Oh sure, you could continue with the added information that the state approved the choice in 1995 but that may be a little too much.
You know, you might look like you are trying too hard.
Be careful of your wallet. Perhaps reaching into your pocket and just hold it as a precaution.
This tactic is well advised while dealing with Ukrainians as well.
You’d perhaps want to continue your conversation with references to the Aesculus glabre
to appear more intimate using a reference to your knowledge of their nickname
or you may just leave that for another day and just hurry on your way.
So you see, it is good to know things about “foreign cultures” so as not to be so judgmental.
Well, that is all the time we have today with Tubularsock’s continuing series:
HOW TO SPEAK FOREIGN.
Tubularsock 
WTF?!
“EVEN Ohioans?”
“Let’s say you are walking down a street and you see an Ohioan walking toward you.
How do you prepare yourself for the approaching encounter?
Do you pretend you don’t see them and pass on by. Most likely the best idea.
But after reading this from Tubularsock you may “reach out” and engage in a conversation.
Well a sure bet is something like this: Hi, so the Ohio state reptile is the black racer.
Oh sure, you could continue with the added information that the state approved the choice in 1995 but that may be a little too much.
You know, you might look like you are trying too hard.
Be careful of your wallet. Perhaps reaching into your pocket and just hold it as a precaution.”
“Aesculus glabre:” good one, Tube! The good old Horse Chestnut (or “Buckeye”, as named by the indigenous peoples), whose nuts are extremely poisonous, unless that is, they are made of milk chocolate and peanut butter. YUMMY!!
I didn’t know the black racer was the state snake? A nasty and fast reptile, as the name implies, but nonvenomous. Never seen one, never hope to see one, which reminds me of this old poem:
“I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one”
What’s the state bird, Tube?
Hint: the Cardinal!! You know, as in the “Stanford Cardinals” or the “Arizona Cardinals”?
Moving on:
I’d like to say I’m highly offended by these jabs at the sixteenth state in ‘the union’, but slam away, Tube, this state doesn’t mean a thing to the old, brittle, and very, very sweet sojourner. After all, throughout the years, the sojourner has called Washington DC, Los Angeles and Nashville home, as well.
But your point here, is spot on, Tube! Why would we despise and fear people we don’t even know? And the answer is, of course, because we have been programmed/mind-fucked into doing so, just like most of the rest of humanity.
I am a little hurt, since I have nothing but good things to say about Southern (not Northern) Californians I knew way back when.
Oh, and by the way, I never pickpocket! Never could the knack of it! All my Ohio peers made fun of me.
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Now once again. Where are any “Jabs” within Tubularsock’s statements? Tubularsock had only provided information on how to make “contact” with one of them-there- Ohioans. That’s all.
And even provided NEW information for you to look out for snakes!
As well as bringing out your resentment toward your “friends” because your skill set never included pick pocketing.
Trust Tubularsock here. This one article has saved you hundreds of dollars in therapy charges!
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Spoken like a true politician, Tube! I’m proud of ya!
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P.S.
The Native Americans called Aesculus glabre the “Horse Chestnut”, because the nut resembles the eye of a horse. The colonialist renamed it Buckeye, and for a reason that escapes the sojourner.
And on the foreign language issue, O-HI-O (“Round on the ends, HI in the middle”) is divide in three distinct language types: North, New York-Brooklyn twang, Central, like most Americans sound when they speak, and South, hillbilly, redneck twang.
The sojourner is from Central Ohio, and so me talk good inglish!
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Oh yes, Buckeye …….. dumb name, dumb colonists. That fits!
Tubularsock has always been impressed your incredible commend of the inglish language!
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Az i new u was!
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It’s got to be “us”.
Leslie
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“It Has To Be You” Tubularsock can sing to that. “It’s got to be us” just doesn’t have the same ring to it!
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Nobody but You, – but it will take all of us to do this. (Think about it – It had to be us, to kick up a fuss.)
Leslie
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Tube:
Everyone knows that if we see a Jew coming down the street he’s come to cheat us or he’s trying to get away from a Muslim who wants a to kill him. The Black person advancing from another direction wants to rob or mug us, and the Mexican watching furtively from the corner is here illegally anyway. So he’s no help. A woman surveying the whole scene is about to faint because she’s close to her menstrual period, and a senior citizen is slowly trying to flee the area. An Asian guy is looking on too but we cant tell what he’s thinking because he’s inscrutable. Stereotypes are about as stupid as this scenario, but they continue to be perpetuated and even flourish in the Trump era.
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Batt Guano, Oh!!! Those were stereotypes? Damn!
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Tubularsock, Fine post, informative as always. It figures that our high-minded state reps would take the time to designate an official state snake, but can’t find a decent way to fund schools or make sure we can get jobs and health care .
But your hypothetical approach to those bizarre Ohioans omitted possibly the best idea — run like hell before they can draw a bead on you! Of course, I was born here and didn’t know that until far too late.
But anyway. As I sit here counting on my fingers … I may actually know more Pakistanis than Californians. And sometimes I can even remember (if not pronounce) more than 3 words of Urdu. Do I know that much Californian? Hmm. Not unless chardonnay counts.
Thanks as ever for your wise advice, and watch for all those reptiles! – Linda
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