13 Russians under my bed
there’s got to be three that really are red

Those Commie Pinkos are at it again
Trying to topple all of we Americans

Oh no you don’t hack our elections
We can do that by having no selections

One asshole is as bad as the next
But we are all free to make a select

Do you really think you can destroy us like that
We have enough guns to wipe ourselves out fast

The politicians offer up goodwill and prayer
As they carry their NRA money to their lairs

And fuck all the children, cripple, and poor
As Trump spends his time with a couple of whores

But it is all well and good as it should be
Because we got 13 Russians don’t you see?

And you may just wonder what’s that is to me
Those 13 Russians provide great levity



  1. One asshole is just as bad as the next. This will be a TUBULARSOCK classic.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. swo8 says:

    I don’t think the Russians are the only ones who meddle in other country’s elections.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Lara/Trace says:

    It’s getting thick out here – too much bullshit

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sha'Tara says:

    Great poem, wonderful images. How many times has the US meddled in other sovereign nations electoral process? Have a look at this article:


    Liked by 2 people

  5. Batt Guano says:

    Tube: I’ll answer your poem with one of mine..

    There once was a guy named Trump…
    Who on his own country..
    Decided to take a dump…
    But he couldn’t do this alone…
    His bank account was ..
    Dry as a bone…
    So he turned to his buddy so dear…
    The Russian leader Vladimir…
    Hack crooked Hilary…
    Trump was heard to exclaim…
    It’s not time for America’s president…
    To be a smart mouthed dame…
    Much confusion was created..
    By the Russians cyber skill…
    To inject into the election..
    A poison pill…
    So Hilary lost and The Donald won…
    And we got Malania and Ivanka…
    And Donald’s son…
    And a whole cast of characters..
    From charlatan to louse…
    All working in disarray in
    The iconic White House…
    And now the nation…
    Is in a Hell of a mess…
    And the average American
    Is in a great deal of distress…
    So thank you Russia…
    For all you’ve done…
    To topple America from number one…
    Once the world thought that for a nation..
    In America there was none any finer…
    But look out world…
    Here comes China!!..

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Are they jumping on the bed or under the bed? I can’t recall how it goes. This is an old drinking song, isn’t it?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. sojourner says:

    You’re a poet and don’t know it, an almost rhyme every time! Couldn’t resist.

    Spot on, Tube, on Russophobia bullshit. When the fuck are the Hillary assholes going to get over it and grow the fuck up?

    Donald, Donald,
    He’s our man,
    If he can’t fuck it up,
    No one can!

    Hey, Hillary, go check out how many kidnapped teenagers your hubbie and Jeffrey Epstein are fucking at the moment. And then get a fucking grip! Or do you help, you lessie in disguise?

    But… WTF?!

    Be honest, tube, do you really want just the government agencies and your local stormtroopers armed? Are you sure, Tube, the way this government has been acting out for the last seventy-three years or longer? “What choo gonna do when they come for you”, Tube?

    I don’t own a gun. But I don’t like the idea of all of us being unarmed, when we exist under a totalitarian state like this piece of shit.

    Tube, stormtroopers shoot and kill more Americans than these psy-op “lone gunmen” could ever hope to shoot and kill:


    The day this piece of shit government opens up all the FEMA camps, they have planned for us, will be the day that I arm myself!

    But that’s just me! You know, psycho, iconoclastic me!

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Well sojourner, Tubularsock hears where you are coming from BUT do you really believe that the average American citizen could run out into the street with their AK-47 and challenge the National Guard, the cops, and the military industrial complex and win?

      No matter how you look at it Americans can’t even get up and vote let alone engage in revolution!

      No if it all comes down to the armed citizen, well they ain’t going to save any of us.

      Seriously, almost to the person all the people Tubularsock knows that own guns are really assholes! Ok, it may be Tubularsock is picking others like himself, but still!

      Liked by 1 person

      • wolfess says:

        Hey now! I just want you to know that I have 2 judges and a governor in my pocket … well, it’s not really a pocket … more like a box … or maybe holsters … or a gun cabinet; yeah, that’s it — a cabinet; hey, if l have 2 judges and a governor on my cabinet then I must be almost as powerful as our orangubrat! And while l have been a bitch on occasion I know for damned sure I’ve never been an asshole! 🤔😎😛

        Liked by 1 person

      • tubularsock says:

        That’s a pretty big cabinet you’ve got there wolfess!


  8. wolfess says:

    13 Russians under your bed
    13 Russians under my bed
    They may be blue or they may be red
    Whatever they are, I can’t get them out of my head!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. sojourner says:

    Tube asked,

    “Well sojourner, Tubularsock hears where you are coming from BUT do you really believe that the average American citizen could run out into the street with their AK-47 and challenge the National Guard, the cops, and the military industrial complex and win?”

    I didn’t say “win”, Tube. And what I meant was to stand up and defend one’s self, like millions have done before, with or without “winning”.

    Tube, you have to take into consideration where you live. Not every state is like California and Florida, and what a relief.

    Most gun owners I know are x military and hunt all of the time, and they hate the local, state and federal government. They are better prepared to fight an unconventional war than this military, I can tell you that. These US mercenaries only know how to use 21st century weapons against unarmed men, women and children.

    Come on, Tube, when was the last time this military ever won a war? Zero! Never! Hell, this military can’t beat down people living 2000 years in the past. But you’re right, in the end, the psychopaths will destroy America just like they have destroyed most of the rest of the world, and most Americans will take your position.

    So just to clarify, Tube, your answer, here, is to just bend over and take it in the ass, when the time comes? Am I Right or Wrong?

    If I am right, then No thanks! I’ll take at least one of these baby-raping, mass-murdering, mother fuckers with me, if I get the chance! After that, I don’t care what happens, since I will be dead as a door nail.

    But no sweat, Tube. I understand where you are coming from. After all, Californians put up with more shit from their state government than the rest of us put up with the Donald. so Californians will be used to getting fucked in the ass in this manner. My guess is, the entire state of California will be at Disneyland, or at a #Me Too rally, when they surrender without firing a shot.

    But then again, “whatever will be, will be, the future is not ours to see,…”

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      Ok, Wild sojourner, slow your pony. We’re coming up on some revenuers, you’r hear.

      I know you all out in that Ohia place got you some guns to kill small defenseless animals and other large defenseless God’s creatures roaming free.

      And because you are freedom loving down home folks yer can’t let them animals be free without ah-killen-em. You know, to hunt them down and blow them to pieces.

      It’s yer RIGHT that God gave man dominion!

      And there is no better way to shoot down one of them there “free” rabbits than an AK-47 with an extended magazine! Yep, pretty much skinsem’ in the process!

      Hell! Hunten’ ah TRADITION round your parts. An no one is better at gutten’ a rabbit with one them there Bowe Knives than and x-nam viet that was gutten’ cong back in the day!

      However just maybe the social fabric may be stretched a bit thin when a fourteen year old can’t buy a beer or a handgun but can buy a AK-47. Seems a tad odd to Tubularsock.

      Tubularsock is not opposed to self defense but having gun ownership carte blanche
      has proven itself a bit dangerous for the greater good.

      And sojourner, you know as well as Tubularsock that it is far easier sitting on the bar stool debating how strong and brave one happens to be than actually staring down three guy with military weaponry!

      So we in California are on our surfboards smoken’ the weed too much to notice them revenuers a’-comen’!

      Thanks sojourner, cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. sojourner says:

    “However just maybe the social fabric may be stretched a bit thin when a fourteen year old can’t buy a beer or a handgun but can buy a AK-47. Seems a tad odd to Tubularsock.”

    That’s Florida for you, or should I say, California East Coast?

    I just responded to your comment on my blog this way, so here it is again,

    You know me, Tube, I just love to stir up the shit! Unlike you, of course, who never writes anything controversial.

    And I resemble your remarks, sir, as you mock the way us Uhians talk good Inglish!

    And one last thing, we don’t kill rabbits with AK-47s, we use hand grenades! That way we don’t have to skin ’em!

    Now go back to sleep, ya old fart!;-)

    Liked by 1 person

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