Tube cafe heading

OBAMA EMAIL HACKED!

Tubularsock was hacking into the NSA cafeteria menu today and causing dietary heartburn. It was a small cyber hack but just enough not to be noticed.

Tubularsock has an entire sector in his underground bunker overlooking Washington, D.C. from Oakland, CA that deals with hack, hack, hacking!

Now, Tubularsock has even developed how to pass the blame off onto the Russians or the Chinese or even the North Koreans. Really it’s easy.

Now, it’s best not to take credit for a hack because the U.S. has a new law that allows the U.S. military to bomb you if you are found to have disrupted our precious motherland, ahh, fatherland or is that homeland? Tubularsock just can’t keep those Nazi word speak statements straight.

Anyway Obama signed an executive order to protect us from the evil that is sneaking into every computer on every lap in every cafe in the United States of America! Thank be it to GOD, or is it Goggle or maybe Mac. Ok, something where an Apple’s involved!

Anyway thank’s to them.

You remember back when the 2015 State of the Union Address was delivered Step-An-Fetch-It said that Congress must do something about Cyber Crime. Well way back on February 12, 2013 Step-An-Fetch-It had issued Executive Order #13636 which had set the Cyber ball rolling.

TUBEHACK

The first thing it did was to “. . . protect the country’s critical infrastructure” from cyber attack. You know the infrastructure that is falling apart because all our money is going off to fight the two dozen wars we are involved in. That infrastructure!

Then it was to “. . .engage with international partners to promote internet freedom . . .” and allow through that internet the ability for NSA and the U.S. military hacker units to read all the other leaders private emails and communications. Because of the freedom loving nature of the United States.

And building on that by “. . . shaping a cyber-savvy workforce and moving beyond passwords in partnership with the private sector.” So as to further dissolve protection of your privacy and civil liberties.

All in all the Step-An-Fetch-It Administration provided these principles in its approach to strengthen cybersecurity:

“Whole-of-government approach

Network defense first

Protection of privacy and civil liberties

Public-private collaboration

International cooperation and engagement.”

But even with all of this hyperbole the North Koreans hacked into Sony and fucked around because of that Comedy Movie Sony produced about the assassination of the great leader. Or at least they said it was the North Koreans.

And now, this week Step-an-Fetch-It’s emails have been hacked by the RUSSIANS!

Well, there is no proof provided that the Russians did it but Step-An-Fetch-It is still pushing the propaganda about the evil Russians ……. Tubularsock wonders if the general American even gives a rats ass any more.

Now this has all occurred even after the Cyber Threat Intelligence Integration Center (CTIIC) was created by Executive Order on February 25, 2015.

You see CTIIC was created for the purpose of “connecting the dots” regarding malicious foreign cyber threats to the nation and cyber incidents affecting U.S. national interests.

It’s the old connect the dots game. Well, Tubularsock figures they didn’t.

But the President said that the “New Tools” we have put in place “. . . will be used to go after the worst of the worst of malicious cyber actors. It just might be more honest, in Tubularsock’s mind, to go after ……. The United States Government! And cyber crimes are not the only crimes the .S. Government has committed!

sigtube

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Comments
  1. Jeff Nguyen says:

    The information superhighway is a double-laned sword. It provides unparalleled access for corporations and the state to monitor us and access personal data. The internet is also one of the last bastions of free speech and dissemination of information. Best believe they want to put that genie back in the bottle.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sojourner says:

    Beautiful! Spot on! Love it!

    By the way, I’m a Jim Beam man. I noticed you were sippin’ Wild Thanksgiving Bird!

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Thanks sojourner. Tubularsock has enjoyed his times with Jim for sure but discovered Wild Turkey 101 and now WT Single Barrel and Single Barrel is far smoother. Tubularsock always has a double neat. Works for me.

      But if Jim passed by Tubularsock would say howdy do, no question!

      Like

  3. sojourner says:

    Reblogged this on An Outsider's Sojourn II and commented:
    Here is another masterful, as well as amusing, article from my hero, Tubularsock!

    Tubularsock in 2016!

    Like

  4. Tubularsock, I’m so last-century, it’s embarrassing. Some days, it’s all I can do to log in and read my own emails. Hackers astonish me — just like doing those little ships in bottles, it seems more like magic to me! But I’m glad the NSA doesn’t have a monopoly on such things. Even if the whole checks-and-balances idea sort of makes me nervous. (I know it’s just from living half my life with the madness of the cold war and Mutual Assured Destruction. Somehow, it never made me feel better to know I wouldn’t get obliterated alone. But I digress. Thanks for a fine post, and happy hacking! – Linda

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      Tubularsock understands. But remember hacking has happened back when John Wayne would climb those telegraph poles and tap into the system with a key pad he carried in his saddlebags?

      But of course he was a good guy, kind of like the NSA with a cowboy hat!

      But Tubularsock is with you on understanding it all …… well except climbing under my school desk
      to save myself from the atomic bomb. Wow! How dumb was that?

      And yes …….. ships in a bottle … magic for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Assuming Obama was hacked at all (which may be a complete fabrication), NSA seems the most likely culprit. If not them, it could have been Anonymous. I honestly don’t see why the Russians would bother.

    Like

  6. wolfess says:

    THE obadrone’s EMAIL WAS HACKED? My Goddess what IS this world coming to when even step-n-fetch-it’s privacy isn’t private???? I mean, it’s one thing when Angela Merkel’s or Vlad Putin’s privacy is invaded, but Bush-dark is MUCH too important a dick-traitor to have his email hacked! The only thing that would be worse is if whoever hacked his email decided to share them with the public — just like we all have been sharing OUR emails with him!

    Pwr 2 the HACKING peons!
    GUILLOTINE ALL FORMS OF PRIVACY!

    Like

    • tubularsock says:

      If it really did happen, why hasn’t the contents been shared? What would be the point otherwise?
      With all the transparency we’ll never know for sure!

      Liked by 1 person

      • wolfess says:

        “With all the transparency we’ll never know for sure!” Ahhh Tube, you have shown me the error of my ways — transparency truly is the ENEMY (especially of our little dick-traitor); if we had LESS transparency it either wouldn’t matter that his email was hacked, or the lack of transparency would allow all of us to see what is really going on in the obadrone’s mind!

        Pwr 2 the HACKING peons!
        GUILLOTINE THAT GODDAMNED TRANSPARENCY!

        Like

      • tubularsock says:

        Wow, “. . . to see what is really going on in the obadrone’s mind!” Now that would be scary!

        Like

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