Posts Tagged ‘DONALD TRUMP’

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Tubularsock has called this press conference today to say that Ted Cruz’s adventures into extramarital affairs
or Donald Trump’s romps with a variety of younger women are  JUST SHOCKING to Tubularsock.

Even Hillary, it has been rumored, has stepped out of line when it comes to marital fidelity.

And Bernie would have, it’s assumed, except Jane would have “cleaned-his-plow” among other things if he had done so!

In fact, if you look at the history of SEX in and around the White House, even if you exclude the Secret Service’s prostitutes, you would find that it is prolific.

So in Tubularsock’s continued effort to have a transparent Presidential Campaign and a complete open door policy in Tubularsock’s future Presidency, Tubularsock has to report to the American citizens that  THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER articles about Tubularsock are “GARBAGE”!

Tubularsock knows that Donald Trump in his continued jealousy over Tubularsock’s large hands and perfect hair has been having his publisher friends at THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER publish these disgusting attacks directed at Tubularsock!

 

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THESE STORIES ARE NOT TRUE! THEY ARE LYING FOR TRUMP! Plain and simple!

Now, it is true that in Tubularsock’s early days he was involved with June Cleaver. But only in the afternoons.

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And Tubularsock had a three-way with Annette and a guy named Mickey.

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“Those were the days, my friend ……… we thought they’d never end.”

But this was the foolishness of youth that we all know so well!

 

AND IT IS TRUE THAT:

Tubularsock did talk positions with Hillary.

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And bear relationships with Sarah.

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And the size of Brought Worst with Merkel.

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And, oh sure ……… torture, bondage, and leather with Condi.

 

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But these were ALL PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS!

So Tubularsock stands clear, honest and open. Just as he’d be as President.

Now, TED CRUZ ……… where do we go from here? Few Presidents have been able to keep it in their pants!

We as Americans already have to worry that if Hillary gets elected we’ll have to see the White House turned into

Bill Clinton’s Brothel! And you guys in Tubularsock Land hadn’t even thought of that to worry about! Or have you?

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TRUMP TRANSVERSED!

Just in ……. The Tubularsock News Room and Sake Bar has just received word that by popular demand THE TRUMP POSITION has been TRANSVERSED!

“Yes it is true”, stated Tubularsock just before he boarded a trans-Atlantic flight to Constantinople, “THE TRUMP POSITION has been TRANSVERSED!” (photographic evidence below)

Asked why Constantinople?, Tubularsock explained, “By using an older airline and flying away from the international date line it is possible to reach Istanbul today but by paying airline ticket prices set in 330BC.”

When the New York Times reporter asked, “How could this be possible due to the FACT that there were NO airlines in 330BC”? Tubularsock reminded that reported that the New York Times has never had FACTS get in the way of their reporting before, why now?

Tubularsock went on to say that, “THE TRUMP POSITION being TRANSVERSED was due to an overwhelming amount of public support to “MAKE SURE” the position was permanent.

Tubularsock did confirm that there may be a possible active conspiracy between “lone-wolves” in England, Canada, and Ohio.

In fact, it is rumored that a crazed train engineer has taken over the train heading toward the “TRANSVERSED ZONE”!

This is a Tubularsock News Room and Sake Bar LIVE COVERAGE UPDATE! Stay tuned.

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Oh! If for some reason you are attempting to truly understand this post you may want to refer to the previous comments made on the previous post A TRUMP POSITION as well as having three or four cups of warm sake …….. that’s what Tubularsock is doing on his way to Constantinople. And as they say in Turkey, “Alkış ve haber gazetelerde okuduğunuz herhangi bir şey inanmıyorum!”

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SEPTIC TANK BOOGIE: REPUBLICAN “DEBATE”?

Now today Tubularsock was sitting in his top floor corner office in his underground bunker overlooking Washington D.C from Oakland, CA and thinking about the principle of septic tanks. You see a septic tank has to be vented in order to allow the gasses that shit produces to be released. A 2” vent usually does the trick.

Now in large cities the sewer treatment plants often burns off that gas but a single septic tank just releases that gas into the atmosphere.

And of course Tubularsock believes that there is a correlation between shit, gas and the Republican debate that is being hosted by a huge producer of gas …. Fox Ooze.

And the only reason an intelligent being would even watch this  is ……..

Ok. An intelligent being wouldn’t but let Tubularsock say that you are just absorbed in the absurd and haven’t really got a life so go ahead, dial it in.

No really. It is going to be well viewed by a huge number for only ONE REASON ……

You already know …… DONALD TRUMP.

Now you know how boring these silly “debates” are whether it’s a Democrat or Republican “debate” it is empty. It’s all show and no go ………

But because Donny may just go off ……. well that is why it will be watched and it will be well watched. Just for the possibility of A REALITY TV SHOW spin.

It does put a great deal of pressure on Trump because he’s the show.

Now Tubularsock noticed that Sarah Palin has stated that Trump is the candidate for “Joe-Six-Pack” and who could argue with that?

Sarah wrote, “The elites are shocked by Trump’s dominance, but everyday Americans aren’t. Everywhere I’ve gone this summer, including motorsport events in Detroit full of fed-up Joe Six-Pack Americans, the folks I meet commiserate about wussified slates of politicians, but then unsolicited, they whisper their appreciation for Trump because he has the guts to say it like it is.”

Well yes, why not. And with Trump’s strong foreign policy platform anchored by a higher, longer, thicker border wall between Mexico and the U.S., out dealing Putin in deal making and surrounding ISSI …….. why worry?

No, Tubularsock is excited. Tubularsock would only add a higher, longer, thicker border wall along the West Coast to keep those “Chinks” out and a higher, longer, thicker border wall along the Atlantic Coast to keep the “Huns” at bay and YES on a higher, longer, thicker border wall along the Canadian border to keep us from being attacked by Canadian Mountie Terrorists. Then we are sure to be safe.

And with Tubularsock’s additional higher, longer thicker border walls Tubularsock is talken’ so high that we would even keep Icarus out! And that dude flies really high if legend is correct. We as true Americans don’t want any Greek immigrants coming here and ruining American blood lines, now do we!

So Sarah and Don and Tubularsock are on the same page BUT PERHAPS a different book.

Oh my, Tubularsock has digressed.

Well, in reality within the illusion in which we occupy, the show will go on but the deal is already completed.

Donald could go any which way at the debate but Jeb will come off like a fucking boy scout and he has already won the nomination anyway and he’ll run against Hillary who will win the 2016 election.

Want to bet?

The deal has already been agreed to and all the rest is the show.

It is best to remember the words of the late George Carlin when it comes to politics:

“. . . it’s a big club and you ain’t in it . . . You see, the owners of this country know the truth. It’s called the American dream. Cause ya have to be asleep to believe it.”

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