THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

Learning,  you have to do on your own!

 

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Comments
  1. Norman Pilon says:

    Holly fucking wow! Politics in the U.S. is just so complicated and hard to follow.

    Honestly, I couldn’t get past the part where Stormy is Ivanka — I mean, they do kinda look alike, granted and all of that. But . . . jeez, Donald!

    (Then after that shock, my mind kept going back to images of Stormy and Ivanka (I looked them up on Google for comparison), and it just got stuck there, Tubes. The rest of what you wrote could not and would not thereafter register. Sorry. I do know there was something about being spanked with the Bible and my mother, but beyond that, it’s all just a swirl . . . Is this going to be on the final?)

    Liked by 5 people

    • tubularsock says:

      YES Norman! This will be on the test. Tubularsock gave you a break last time over your incomplete orgasm paper but this time you’ll just have to get your notes from another classmate.

      Tubularsock does understand about getting bogged down in detailed research and fondling your knowledge a bit more than usual but high academic achievement is also a goal here as well.

      And thank you for the reblog, for FUCKING KNOWLEDGE is in short supply today.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. sojourner says:

    Sounds to me like Trump has been hanging out with, or taking lessons from Bill Clinton and his child-raping and trafficking buddy, Epstein, on how to be not only a fucked up president but a fucking criminal pervert as well. Actually, as much as I detest the Donald, and all he stands for, Bill C makes the Trumpster look like a babe in the woods, when it comes to perversion!

    And speaking of bible thumpen’ elected officials, I remember, once again, Monica’s bitch (Bill), many moons ago, talking about goin’ to church, but afterward, being the fucking hypocrite he is, Bill appeased his neo-atheist lefty base by sayin’, “The bible is ambiguous!”, in his hillbilly way o talkin’, hyuh, hyuh, hyuh.

    #Me Too, listen up! What the fuck about Bill Clinton? Oh, I forgot, he’s married to your loser bitch, and so he’s a sacred cow. Bill doesn’t “grab their pussies”, he just grabs a handful of hair and makes them suck his little dickie, and then makes a mess on their dress.

    Sorry, Tube, just sick of the bullshit hypocrisy that is running rampant even more than normal, in this piece of shit hell hole.

    When it comes to Trump, I really don’t know whether to laugh, cuss, scream, or feel sorry for him. Someone, somewhere, set this rich, dumb fuck, business type up for the patsy routine. I saw it in Trump’s eyes the day after the election. He had that ‘deer in the headlights’ look about him. And I sat there and said, Trump never ran to win, nor did he want to win!

    Lee Harvey II, this is how I think of the Trumpster. He is a puppet of the warmongering left and right, 24/7/365. Trump is the patsy of all time, even more so than Timothy McVey, or good old Jesus of Nazareth.

    Having stated all of this, I hate his bad hair day ass!

    Liked by 4 people

    • tubularsock says:

      sojourner, Tubularsock does agree that Bill and Hillary have issues and perversion is something a retired couple can get involved in. They ARE a “power-couple” after all!

      But Tubularsock feels you may be mistaken about Bill making them suck “little dickie” because Nixon is dead! Besides he never wore a dress in Tubularsock’s knowledge.

      That aside, Tubularsock does have a touch of rage about all this hypocrisy himself as you know.

      And in truth, Tubularsock does really feel sorry for Dump. Tubularsock too sees a poor bastard lost in something he can’t handle. A lost little boy who is dangerous to us all.

      Thanks for your comment.

      Liked by 3 people

      • sojourner says:

        Yeah, “little dickie” was a bit ambiguous of me, wasn’t it? Just like the bible. I bet Hillary got some of that lip service off of Monica, as well! Hillary, to me, does seem to be a bit John Waynish, or maybe she just looks like John Wayne?

        I know you’re sick of the hypocrisy, Tube. My angst was intended for or directed at you or what you wrote, as I’m sure you know. There’s just too much hypocritical shit at the moment, even more than usual. And I hate hypocritical shit!

        Remember, Tube, I’m an equal opportunity hater; I hate the right, left and middle.

        I’m saving up for my own little bar, Tube, as I’ve mentioned before. And when it’s up and running, then wait and see what I post and how I comment!;-)

        Liked by 2 people

    • Sha'Tara says:

      Yeah, and the captain of the Titanic!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. LOL

    I always assumed the government preferred doggy.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. sojourner says:

    Note, Tube, I made a typo:

    I meant to say, “My angst wasn’t intended for, nor directed at, you or what you wrote, as I’m sure you know.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. swo8 says:

    But Tubularsock, there are some things we chose not to know.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

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