PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

Translations of above statements:

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments
  1. sojourner says:

    Stop denyin’ it, Tube, You know you are RED at heart, just like Bill and Hillary, when they have uranium for sale! But they’re safe, of course, because they ain’t no damn deplorable like you and me!

    Beyond attempting to avert a third world war, I doubt Putin would have his people wasting their time rigging a voting system that is, and always has been, rigged (ever heard of gerrymandering and the electoral college?).

    I once believed that the left was more intelligent and aware than the right, that is, until Bill, Obama and Hillary came along. Now, I realize all of these mo-fos are dumb fucks, criminals, insane sex offenders, and boobys in need of a booby hatch!

    Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock says:

      sojourner thanks for your insight and do be careful because you know Putin has time to hide under America’s bed just like the old time Soviets did for so many years SO dust regularly!

      The only exception Tubularsock has with your comment is “. . . boobys in need of a booby hatch!

      Tubularsock would suggest NO MORE “booby hatches” we have to stop their reproduction. It is the “hatching” that got us into this trouble.

      Maybe some type of death spray like an Ortho Product. You know, like a cockroach, ant, spider spray.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sha'Tara says:

      Quote: Now, I realize all of these mo-fos are dumb fucks, criminals, insane sex offenders, and boobys in need of a booby hatch!
      So – well – said!!!!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. sojourner says:

    tube said,

    “Tubularsock would suggest NO MORE “booby hatches” we have to stop their reproduction. It is the “hatching” that got us into this trouble.

    Maybe some type of death spray like an Ortho Product. You know, like a cockroach, ant, spider spray.”

    Could not agree more! We don’t need no more! I love double negatives!

    I’m from Ohio, so that booby ditty was a quote from a James Thurber short story:

    {His wife sat up in bed and looked at him coldly. “You are a booby,” she said, “and I am going to have you put in the booby-hatch.”} http://english.glendale.cc.ca.us/unicorn1.html

    What can I say, in Ohio, all we have are the Buckeyes and James Thurber, along with Dean Martin, Clark Gable and The James Gang! And me, needless to say!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock says:

      sojourner! So now you have gone and brought unicorns into all this! Tubularsock does get the point with your horsing around but we here at Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news” have important business to covey with all the boobies in the American population and though most should be in the booby-hatch they aren’t!

      And they vote!

      It is becoming clear to Tubularsock that we have a problem here!

      And then to get a hint that YOU, sojourner may be part of The James Gang to boot is just too much for Tubularsock to take in, today. But the proof is rather clear and Tubularsock quotes, “The James Gang! And me, needless to say!!”

      Keep your powder dry.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Have you sold the movie rights yet – that’s the important thing?

    Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock says:

      DrB you are so very correct as usual. If you can’t make a profit life just isn’t worth living.

      Indeed, Tubularsock has sold the movie rights. And the rights to three sequels. Because this story has a rather long life span, don’t you know.

      Like

  4. Jay says:

    I think someone should turn your blog into a graphic novel or an animated series.

    Liked by 1 person

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